Sept. 4, 2013, 2:13 p.m.
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea: Chapter 19
T - Words: 7,941 - Last Updated: Sep 04, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Jun 08, 2012 - Updated: Sep 04, 2013 199 0 0 0 0
“Blaine!” I burst through the door to our apartment in Bushwick, “Blaine! I have something amazing to tell you!”
Blaine was sitting on the sofa watching a programme that looked like Downton Abbey, “I’m here baby. What’s up?”
I glanced at the TV and saw it was a Downton Abbey catch up, “Ooo I love this episode. There’s so much drama.”
Blaine waved his hand in front of my face, “Umm Kurt you had something you wanted to tell me?”
I stared at him for a moment before grinning, “Oh right. Sorry I always get distracted by British TV shows. They’re just the best.”
Blaine rolled in his eyes with a fond look, “I know Kurt. I’m pretty sure a show like Downton Abbey or Doctor Who could distract you while we’re having sex.”
I gasped in mock horror, “The cheek of it Blaine Devon Anderson. Well maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have a TV in our bedroom.”
Blaine winked at me, “Or the bathroom or the kitchen.”
I just laughed at my boyfriend, “What happened to you? You used to be such a gentleman.”
“Hey I am!” Blaine tried to look offended, “It’s just when I’m with you, you bring out another side of me. Anyway what did you want to tell me?”
“You, Mr Anderson, are looking at the new intern at Vogue.com!” I yelled, buzzing with excitement.
Blaine gaped at me, “What? How? When?”
I just chuckled at the look on my boyfriend’s face, “Okay I know we said we’d focus on our degrees and all but we do need money to pay for stuff like food and rent. I know I have some money saved up but I’d like to be able to use that for our future. I know you have a trust fund and all but I don’t want to rely on that. That’s for our future. I saw there was an opening at Vogue.com and I applied. I had an interview with the one and only Miss Isabelle Wright…”
Blaine interrupted me, “Isabelle Wright? It’s rumoured that she gave Steve Jobs his first black turtleneck!”
“I know right!” I exclaimed, feeling so happy, “She loved me Blaine!”
Blaine’s eyes softened when they met mine, “Well it’s not hard to see why baby.”
I leaned forward and placed a kiss on Blaine’s lips, “Well it’s reasons like that why I love you!”
Blaine pulled me back to him and we kissed again. I loved being able to kiss Blaine whenever I wanted. I loved waking up beside him every morning. I could see myself doing it for the rest of my life.
“I’m home!” came a shrill voice interrupting our kiss.
We pulled apart to see Rachel standing there smiling at us.
“Rachel there was no need for that,” I groaned, already feeling annoyed at the girl when she had just got here.
Rachel rolled her eyes, “How would you know I was here then?”
Blaine and I both groaned at that. Rachel had been living with us for three months and it was now approaching the beginning of October. Blaine and I had moved to New York in the beginning of July to get settled in. Rachel had joined us a week later to our surprise. We were the only people she was friends with in New York. Some of the Warblers like Sebastian, Nick and Jeff lived in New York as well but obviously Rachel was closer to us. Rachel and Finn had surrendered their relationship and he had put her on a train to New York as that was where she belonged. Finn had joined the army and had lasted sixteen days. He backpacked around Georgia for a while before coming to New York after no contact for two months. He and Rachel had had a massive argument and she had admitted to kissing some guy called Brody that Blaine and I had heard a lot about but only met once about this NYADA bar called Callbacks. Blaine and I had performed a duet of Pink’s ‘Perfect’ there as it was one of our songs. Finn and Rachel had officially broken up and we had to deal with a lot of crying and mood swings. Living with Rachel was impossible. She sang all the time, she used all the hot water and expected everything to be done for her. Plus she hadn’t paid any rent. That was part of the reason I went out and got a job to support us.
“God Rachel you are so irritating sometimes!” I vented, collapsing on the sofa next to Blaine who grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
Rachel looked shocked by that, “I don’t understand why you are calling me that! I’ve been the perfect roommate.”
Even my polite boyfriend had something to say, “Rachel, and I say this with love, you are one of the worst people I have ever lived with. You have to remember Kurt and I went to a boarding school and lived with other people.”
Rachel stuck her nose up in the air, “Fine. I was going to tell you that I’m moving out anyway. There’s something between Brody and I and he’s asked me to live with him. He’s going to help me with my application for NYADA so I can apply for the spring semester.”
I looked at her sceptically, “Wait a minute. You were all about Finn a minute ago and now you’re suddenly all over this Brody? Rachel what is happening to you? You’ve changed so much I hardly recognise you! I know we went to different schools but we’re still close. You’re wearing so much makeup you could be classified as a Barbie! And what’s this I heard about you auditioning for a film with a topless scene?”
Rachel looked a little shaken, “Okay I applied but I freaked out when it came to the topless scene. I just want things on my resume. I need to get into NYADA Kurt! I need to be on Broadway!”
“You will be on Broadway,” I smiled at my old friend, “You don’t want to get on Broadway and then have the press drag up a crappy film where you were topless in it. You’d be so embarrassed. Here is a Kurt Hummel fashion tip. Tone down the makeup. You look so much prettier with the natural look.”
Rachel sniffed, “I guess I just wanted a change. Finn broke up with me and didn’t contact me. I didn’t know what to do.”
I got up from the sofa and hugged her, “I know sweetie but it’ll be okay. Look do you really want to live with this Brody?”
Rachel nodded and I sighed, “I can’t stop you. Just remember there is always a place for you here.”
Rachel hugged me tighter, “Thank you Best Gay. Oops no offence Blaine. Oh by the way I have three months’ worth of rent for you. I’m sorry I’ve just been sponging on you.”
Rachel pulled out an envelope from her bag and I quickly checked it. All the money was there.
I smiled at her, “Thanks Rachel. So when are you…?”
“Right now,” Rachel interrupted, “I’m just grabbing my bags and then I’m off. Don’t worry, I’ll be around. We’ll always see one another.”
I let Rachel go and re-joined Blaine on the sofa, “Wow I did not see that coming, nor did I see her giving us rent.”
Blaine just shrugged, “It’s her life and she has to learn for herself. At least we won’t be interrupted anymore.”
I winked at my boyfriend, “Well I like your way of thinking.”
Blaine leaned in and kissed my nose, “So tell me more about your job at Vogue.com?”
“It’s just a part time job as I told Isabelle about NYADA,” I informed Blaine, “I’ll be her assistant but will also be giving my view in meetings. I’m actually living the dream!”
Blaine grinned at me, “I’m so happy for you. I also have a job. It’s nothing like yours. I just perform in this coffee shop on Thursday nights near my college so I’ll be home late then.”
“Oh Blaine that’s amazing!” I squealed, kissing my boyfriend, “I’m so proud of you.”
Blaine gave me the look he always got when I said I was proud of him, “Thank you Kurt. So when are you working for Vogue?”
“At the moment Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays after NYADA,” I replied, thinking about how busy I would be, “I know it’s a lot but just think of the money I’ll make. We would actually be able to afford plane tickets without dipping into our savings! And I promise we’ll always make time for one another.”
Blaine gave me a soft smile, “Agreed. I love you so much.”
“I love you,” I replied, giving Blaine another kiss.
“Well I’m all packed,” Rachel interrupted once again, “I’ll be off now.”
Blaine and I pulled apart and got to our feet. We made our way over to Rachel by the door and hugged her. She clung to us and I heard her sniff a few times. We pulled away and smiled at her.
“Rach just remember we’ll always be there for you,” Blaine said smiling at her as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“Oh you guys!” Rachel cried before kissing us both on the cheek, “You remind me so much of my gay Dads! I love you both!”
I just rolled my eyes before smiling, “And we love you.”
We said our goodbyes before Rachel left the apartment. There was a moment of silence before Blaine jumped on me, knocking me to the ground and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
“Here’s to no more interruptions!” Blaine cheered, causing me to laugh as he made his way down my body.
(break)
I closed the door to our apartment as quietly as I possibly could. The whole apartment was covered in darkness. I guessed Blaine was asleep. I glanced at my phone and saw it was quarter past one in the morning. It was now Friday. I would be up in a few hours to go to class. I had had such a long day. I was at NYADA in the morning then I went to work at Vogue.com. I had been working there for six weeks. I had been working every day for the last four weeks. There was an emergency over the deadline and I had to stay on and work. I would be so relieved when the work was completed. Maybe I could go and have a life. I felt so guilty for not spending much time with Blaine. Every day I would wake up, go to NYADA, go to work, come home and sleep. I didn’t have time for anything else. I would try and ring Blaine during the day but I would always get distracted and have to end our phone calls. I hated what a shitty boyfriend I was being and I hoped I wouldn’t push Blaine away. Any time we did spend together was mainly fighting about not seeing one another. We were in a vicious cycle and I was terrified we wouldn’t get out. I knew my job was causing a lot of problems but I loved it and it was helping the two of us be financially stable.
Suddenly a light switched on and I spun around to see Blaine sitting on the armchair looking angry. I knew immediately I had some major grovelling to do.
“Blaine…” I started, not knowing where to start.
“What time do you call this?” Blaine said quietly, his voice thick with anger.
I tensed at his tone, “I’m so sorry Blaine. I got held up at work as we have to get everything done before the deadline. I’m so sorry. I should have called you.”
“Yes you should have,” Blaine said bluntly, “I never see you anymore Kurt. You spend all your time at NYADA or at Vogue.com! What about me?”
I took a step closer to him, “Blaine I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to neglect you. I just got caught up in it all.”
Blaine let out an exasperated sigh, “If I didn’t call you out on it, do you think you would have realised it yourself or you would have just completely forgotten about me?”
“Hey!” I had to interrupt him there, “I did realise it Blaine. I wouldn’t have just forgotten about you. I could never forget about you!”
“Oh Kurt don’t give me that!” Blaine’s voice was getting louder, “I never see you and when I do, we’re arguing. I feel like I have a better relationship with your voicemail!”
I couldn’t help myself, “Are you quoting ‘Friends’ there?”
That just angered my boyfriend more, “So what if I am? It’s the truth. I wake up and you’re gone. I go to college, hang out with my friends, come home, wait to see if you come home and you never do. When I go to sleep at night you’re not beside me, I’m all alone. We were so excited for New York as it’d be the two of us living together and waking up next to each other every morning. That’s not happening is it?”
“I’m sorry Blaine,” I pleaded, desperate to make my boyfriend understand, “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I miss you too Blaine. I wish we got to wake up with each other every morning and go to bed together. It’s just… I’m on such a hectic schedule at the moment but it’ll die down.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Blaine demanded, “What if this continues for the rest of the school year? You can’t expect me to just sit around and hope to catch a glance of your face.”
I paled at his words, “Blaine… what are you saying?”
I was terrified of what would come out of Blaine’s mouth.
Blaine ran his hands over his face, “I just… I’m so tired Kurt, so damn tired. I miss talking to you, I miss hugging you and I miss messing around with you.”
“I do too Blaine!” I cried desperately, hoping we could work this out.
Blaine just sighed, “I sometimes wonder what it’d be like if I was a year younger than you. I would be back in Lima all on my own, missing you terribly. I don’t want to think what I would have done.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my bottom lip tremble.
Blaine sighed again, “I probably would have thought that you and I weren’t meant to me. I can imagine a younger version of me calling you and calling you and getting no answer. I would be feeling so lonely and insecure. Well to be honest, that’s how I’m feeling now. At least I have college and friends to lean on.”
“I’m so sorry Blaine…” I tried again.
Blaine quickly interrupted me, “You haven’t told me you love me in weeks. That hurts Kurt. That really really hurts. You’re the love of my life and we should be relishing in the fact we’re living together. We should be celebrating the fact we’ve taken our relationship to the next level. Instead we hardly see one another. When I do get through to you on the phone and you have to go a minute later, I always say ‘I love you’ but you’ve always hung up by then. It hurts.”
I could feel the tears threatening to escape, “I’m so sorry Blaine. I really am. I just need to manage my time better. And you know I love you. I do. I love you so much.”
“It’s like you feel you can just put our relationship on a shelf while you figure out what you’re doing with your life. It doesn’t work like that Kurt. You can’t just expect me to be put on the side lines, feeling so lonely, while you go on your life,” Blaine cried, tears pouring down his face.
“I don’t expect you to wait on the side lines,” I was crying now. I hated how much I had hurt my love, “I hate that you’re lonely. I’ll make it up to you Blaine. I promise.”
“I don’t even know why you got a job in the first place,” Blaine yelled, the emotion taking over, “You didn’t need to. I get that you love fashion and it was a great opportunity. We were fine before you got the job. You know what? I can’t be bothered anymore. I’m going to bed.”
My eye’s widened, “You can’t be bothered anymore? Blaine what does that mean? Blaine please I love you.”
Blaine just smiled sadly at me, “Goodnight Kurt. I hope to see you before I go to sleep tomorrow but I won’t hold out for it.”
Blaine swiftly got up and walked into the bedroom without looking back. I collapsed onto the sofa and let all my emotions out. I needed to fix this.
(break)
“Kurt? Sweetie what’s wrong?” I heard my boss Isabelle say.
It was later on in the day after our fight and I couldn’t get it out of my head. All I could picture was Blaine when I got home early this morning looking defeated. I had eventually joined Blaine in bed and held onto him as he slept. It had taken me hours to fall asleep but when I woke up Blaine was gone. I had been terrified he had left me but all of his belongings were still there and I noticed his gym bag was gone. I had gone to my usual classes before heading to Vogue.com. I had been yelled at several times by my dance teacher Cassandra July but I didn’t care less. I had to make everything okay with my loving boyfriend. I was currently sitting at my desk working while trying to hold back the tears. Isabelle had spotted me and had a concerned look on her face.
“Me? I’m fine,” I replied, my voice breaking on the last word.
Isabelle shook her head, “No you’re not. Come on, come with me to my office.”
I had no choice to follow. Once inside Isabelle’s office, she gestured to a seat in front of her desk and I sat down, looking at my heads. Isabelle sat in her desk chair and observed me.
Isabelle placed her arms on the desk and leaned on her hands, “Kurt what’s wrong? Come on, you can talk to me. It’s my job to ensure my employee is happy. Did something happen here?”
I quickly shook my head, “No nothing happened here. It’s something to do with my boyfriend.”
“Blaine?” I had talked about him enough to Isabelle so she knew his name, “What’s happened sweetie?”
“We’ve been arguing recently but last night was so bad,” I said, trying not to cry, “He said he hates how he never sees me anymore as I’m always here or at NYADA. It is true that I get up before him and come home when he’s sleeping. It’s hurting him so much and I hate what a shitty boyfriend I am, pardon my French. I don’t know what to do!”
Isabelle just looked at me for a moment, “Oh honey I am so sorry. I sometimes forget you’re at college so just give you the same workload as everyone else.”
“It’s okay…” I started but Isabelle shook her head.
“No it’s not, especially if it’s affecting your relationship,” Isabelle said sadly, “I’m so sorry to do that to you.”
I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there. Isabelle sat there as well, looking like she was thinking. Neither of us spoke for a minute.
“Right I know what we’re going to do,” Isabelle stated, sounding happy, “You are going to work Mondays and Tuesdays after NYADA. You will leave here at the latest nine o’clock of an evening. Those are the only days you will work and if I forget and try to make you work more, you tell me no. Understood?”
I just gaped at her, “What? Are you serious? How can you do this and still keep me as an employee?”
Isabelle just smiled, “Kurt I am the boss here and what I say goes. I want to keep you as an employee as I’ve seen your potential. You’ve done wonders around here. I know even if you work two days a week you’ll deliver. It’s about the quality not the quantity.”
“Bless you Fairy Godmother,” I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t believe it.
Isabelle laughed at my words, “Thank you Kurt. Look sweetie, I don’t want you to suffer because of this. We have been working you too hard recently and I apologise. Now I want you to dry your tears and head on home. We’ll be fine without you tonight. I want you to spend time with Blaine at the weekend and I’ll see you Monday and you can tell me all about it. Okay?”
I couldn’t say anything so I just got up and hugged Isabelle. She chuckled slightly and hugged me back. She kissed my cheek and smiled at me.
“Thank you so much Isabelle,” I stammered out, “I can never thank you enough.”
Isabelle just winked at me, “Have a good weekend Kurt. And I’ll see you Monday.”
I hurried out of the office to my desk and grabbed my belongings, mentally planning my weekend with the man I loved.
(break)
I had been sitting on the sofa for an hour or so when I heard the door start to open. I held my breath as Blaine entered the apartment. He once again looked defeated. My heart immediately broke. Blaine shut the door and turned around. Our eyes met. His mouth dropped again at the sight of me.
“Kurt?” He sounded confused, “What are you doing here?”
“I came home early,” I replied, standing up and smiling tentatively at Blaine.
He nodded, “Well it’s good to see you.”
“And you,” I replied softly, “Blaine honey we need to talk.”
Blaine nodded again, “I know but not now. We made plans to go to Callbacks with Nick and Jeff. I was actually expecting to be going on my own but it’s… good that you can go.”
I smiled at Blaine and he grimaced back at me. We stood there awkwardly for a few moments, just looking at one another.
“Well,” Blaine coughed, “I said we’ll meet them at seven and it’s six now so we’d better start getting ready.”
I nodded as I watched Blaine sprint into the bathroom. I sighed, knowing this was going to be awkward but I wanted to fix it so desperately. Blaine was my world and he needed to know that. I headed into our bedroom and decided to select what I was going to wear. Eventually I decided on an outfit I had worn on a date with Blaine back in Lima. It was after his whole blonde people jealousy episode. We had had an amazing night out in Westerville. I decided on my tight red trousers, my black Givenchy shirt with a red collar that matched the trousers and my Hugo Boss shoes. As I had finished choosing, Blaine entered the bedroom with just a towel around his waist.
“The bathroom’s free now,” he said, avoiding my eyes.
“Thank you,” I replied, hating how things were between us.
I quickly jumped in the shower and washed my hair and body. I did the quickest version of my skincare routine and blow dried my hair, styling it into its usual perfect coif. I wanted to impress Blaine tonight. He was all that mattered to me. I wrapped a towel around my waist and exited the bathroom, switching off the light behind me. I walked into our room and found Blaine tying his shoe laces. He was wearing a short sleeved Ted Baker shirt with a checked collar with a dark blue vest. I could see his Ted Baker grey coat lying on the bed. I noticed he was wearing some smart black shoes at well.
“You look so handsome Blaine,” I tried, my eyes raking over my boyfriend’s body.
“Thank you,” Blaine replied, “I’ll let you get changed.”
Blaine quickly let the room after grabbing his jacket and I let out a sigh. I quickly got changed and made sure my clothes weren’t wrinkled. I walked out of the bedroom and found Blaine waiting by the front door. I grabbed my black Zara coat off the coat rack and turned to see Blaine staring at me.
“What?” I said, feeling self-conscious.
“You look amazing Kurt. I remember the last time you wore that outfit,” Blaine told me with a small smile.
“It was a fantastic night,” I told Blaine with a bigger smile, “Hey we had better go otherwise we’ll be late.”
Blaine nodded and I quickly put my coat on. We left the apartment and made sure we had locked up. We left the building and started walking to the subway. Our hands kept brushing against each other’s. I had never not walked somewhere with Blaine and not held his hand. I was terrified of rejection. I decided to man up and just go for it. I reached out and took Blaine’s hand in mine. I was so thankful when Blaine accepted my hand and gave it a little squeeze. We continued the rest of our journey in silence, still holding hands however. After a subway ride and a short walk we arrived at Callbacks. I immediately spotted Nick and Jeff waiting outside.
“Kurt! Blaine!” Jeff called when he spotted us, “Look Nick, it’s Klaine!”
Jeff immediately pulled us into a hug and after a while let us go. The second he let go Nick was hugging us. I couldn’t help but laugh, despite my situation with Blaine.
Nick let us go and grinned at the pair of us, “We’ve missed you guys. We need to hang out more.”
“I agree,” Blaine said with a smile, “Come on, let’s go in and get a table.”
“I’ll get the first round!” Jeff cried as we headed into the piano bar.
We saw a table for four and immediately grabbed it. I knew from past experience how busy the place could get. We all took our jackets off and sat down. Jeff got up and headed towards the bar while the three of us sat in silence. I knew Nick was watching Blaine and I but I didn’t know what to say. I wished that we hadn’t come out and instead had sat down and talked about everything. Maybe Blaine was avoiding that because he did want to break up. I could feel my palms sweating.
“Kurt!” I suddenly heard my name being called, “Kurt I haven’t seen you here in ages!”
I turned my head to see a guy I had met at NYADA grinning at me. His name was Adam Crawford and he had practically been stalking me in an attempt for me to join his show choir group ‘Adam’s Apples’ after seeing me sing in one of my classes. It was something I would be interested in but I had been way too busy.
“Hey Adam, how are you?” I asked politely, noting the way Adam looked at me.
One of the reasons I had declined his offers was because I suspected Adam had a slight crush on me. I didn’t need any more drama in my life. I had mentioned Blaine several times but I don’t think Adam had ever got the hint.
“I’m good thanks, great now that you’re here,” Adam replied, smiling even more if possible.
I cringed at his response. I saw Blaine’s shoulders slump next to me and I saw Nick’s eyes widen. Jeff came back at that moment and he was glancing between Adam, Blaine and I.
I had to stop this, “Oh excuse me. These are my friends from high school Nick and Jeff. Guys this is Adam, someone else who goes to NYADA. And this handsome man to my left is the boyfriend I’ve told you about. Adam this is my Blaine.”
I saw Blaine startle and he stared at me in surprise. I smiled back at him. I wanted him to know that I would never let someone flirt with me and not tell them about him.
Adam’s smile shrunk slightly, “Oh you’re the Blaine I’ve heard about so many times. Well it’s nice to put a name to a face.”
Blaine smiled politely, “Nice to meet you too Adam.”
Adam turned back to me, “So Kurt? Adam’s Apples? I know you’re just playing hard to get and really want to join.”
I had to let out a laugh, “I’m not playing Adam. Look I’ll reconsider in the spring semester.”
Adam grinned at me, “That’s good enough for me. I’ll talk to you about it later. Have a good night gentlemen.”
And with that Adam headed towards the bar. I let out a sigh of relief.
Jeff broke the silence first, “Who the hell was that British guy?”
I sighed again, “His name is Adam and he’s the leader of a show choir group at NYADA. He heard me sing one day and found out I was in the National winning Warblers so has been begging me to join. I haven’t had the time but he won’t accept that.”
“He’ll be worse than Blaine if he’s named the group after himself,” Nick stated with a smirk.
Blaine just glared at him, causing us all to laugh. Blaine couldn’t stop himself smiling at us. We made eye contact for a moment and I knew he was thinking about my comment ‘Blaine and the Pips’.
“Kurt!” I rolled my eyes, wondering who it was this time and turned to see Rachel and Brody.
“Kurt! Blaine! How are you? Oh hello Nick and Jeff! Nice to see you. I’m here with my boyfriend Brody. We’re living together,” Rachel told Nick and Jeff in one breath.
“Rachel breathe girl. It’s good to see you,” I told her before turning to Brody, “Hi Brody.”
He smiled back at me, “Hi Kurt. So you guys singing tonight? I know the piano man Pascal.”
Nick grinned, “I think I might sing ‘Uptown Girl’.”
Blaine, Jeff and I groaned. Nick had been obsessed with that song since junior year and he had eventually sang it during our senior year.
Brody just smiled politely, “Fair enough. How about you guys?”
Jeff shook his head but I decided to go for it, “Yeah I’ll sing. I haven’t done that in a while.”
Rachel smiled at me, “Brody and I are going on now. We’re singing ‘Give Your Heart A Break’ by Demi Lovato. You can sing after us.”
Rachel and Brody headed up to the stage and the song started. We watched them for a few before continuing our conversation.
“So Kurt what are you singing?” Nick asked, sounding curious.
“Still deciding,” I joked, even though I was half curious, “You’ll have to wait and see. Oh I was going to ask… how is Sebastian? I haven’t seen him in forever.”
Jeff’s eyes gleamed, “Neither have we. He’s got a boyfriend. Some guy who went to military school. Think his name begins with an ‘H’.”
“Really?” I was shocked, “Well we’ll have to see if we can meet him.”
Suddenly the song was over and I was being called up to the front. I whispered the name of the song to the piano and stood in the middle of the stage behind the microphone.
“This is for the love of my life Blaine. I’m really sorry how much I’ve been working lately and I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” I told the crowd, looking directly at Blaine before indicating to the piano man I was ready.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to sing, “The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting.”
I made eye contact with Blaine, “Could it be that we have been this way before, I know you don't think that I am trying.”
I smiled sadly at my boyfriend, “I know you're wearing thin down to the core.”
I closed my eyes as I prepared to sing the chorus, changing the word from ‘girl to ‘boy’ so the song would fit Blaine, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. You’re impossible to find.”
I opened my eyes and found Blaine’s again, “This is not what I intended, I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.”
I thought of all the times Blaine had told me I was brave, “You always thought that I was stronger.”
“I may have failed but I have loved you from the start,” I sang, letting my mind remember the moment I met Blaine on the Dalton staircase.
I glanced at my friends looking at me sadly before looking at Blaine again, his eyes glistening with tears, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. It’s impossible.”
“So breathe in so deep, breathe me in, I'm yours to keep,” I sang, trying not to let my voice shake. I hoped Blaine knew how true the last words I had sung were.
I felt a tear trail down my cheek, “And hold onto your words, 'Cause talk is cheap and remember me tonight when you're asleep.”
I took a deep breath, ensured I had eye contact with Blaine and put all my emotion into the last two choruses, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find.”
I let my voice fade away as it finally cracked, “You’re impossible to find…”
Everyone in the bar cheered and applauded. I quickly wiped away the tears left on my cheeks and did one of my famous Kurt Hummel bows, leading to more applause. I quickly exited the stage and headed back to my table.
Suddenly Adam stepped into my vision, “That was amazing Kurt! You need to join Adam’s Apples!”
I had had enough, “Not now Adam okay.”
I didn’t give him a chance to answer and walked over to my table. Blaine wasn’t looking at me but Jeff and Nick were.
“You were amazing up there,” Nick said with a sad smile, “Well done Kurt.”
“Thank you,” I replied formally, feeling emotional.
I heard Brody say my name into the microphone and say the song I had sung. Suddenly I heard him say Blaine’s name. I watched as Blaine stood up looking determined and walked over to the piano. I watched as he exchanged words with Pascal before Pascal stepped away and Blaine sat down at the piano.
He coughed slightly before speaking into the microphone, “Um… hi everyone. I… I want to sing a song that’s very special to me. This is a song I sang the first time I ever met the love of my life. So Kurt… this is for you.”
As soon as Blaine said that, I felt some tension leave my body. He still loved me and he was dedicating a song for me. Not just any song… our song. I realised he was going to perform the acoustic version that I had never heard him sing live but had danced to during our prom.
Blaine started playing the piano and closed his eyes, “Before you met me, I was alright but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life.”
His eyes opened and locked on mine. I couldn’t move, “Now every February, you'll be my Valentine… Valentine.”
Blaine paused for a moment before he reclosed his eyes and sang, “Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love. We can dance, until we die… you and I, will be young forever…”
Blaine opened his eyes, tears glistening in the corners of them, and looked at me, “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back… don't ever look back.”
Blaine sounded like he was desperately trying not to cry. My face dropped. What if this was his way of saying goodbye. We began with ‘Teenage Dream’ and we’ll end with ‘Teenage Dream’. I saw Nick glance at me out of the corner of my eye but I couldn’t take my eyes off the broken man in front of me.
Blaine’s voice cracked slightly as he continued, “My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe, this is real so take a chance and don't ever look back… Don't ever look back”
Blaine was seriously struggling and all I could do was sit there frozen in shock, “I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight. Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight.”
Blaine threw every bit of energy he had into the next part of the song, “You… make me feel like a teenage dream the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back… don't ever look back.”
The two of us were crying freely, one watching, one singing as we couldn’t cope with the emotion, “I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight. Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans…”
Blaine whispered the last line, “Be your teenage dream tonight.”
There was a moment of silence before the whole place erupted. Despite having an emotional breakdown Blaine was still an amazing performer. Blaine nodded to the audience before standing up and walking back over to the table. When he sat down, I could see Jeff and Nick looking between us, trying to work out what to say. I could even see Rachel and Brody in the distance looking at us with concern.
Eventually Blaine turned to me, his manner calm and collected, “I think we should go home.”
Panic flowed through me. What if Blaine was going to break up with me when we go back to the apartment?
I just nodded timidly, “Sure.”
We bid goodbye to Nick and Jeff and I waved to Rachel and Brody. We grabbed our jackets and exited Callbacks then began the walk back to the apartment. No one said anything on the walk. I felt like I was going to die. We walked through Battery Park and I considered stopping Blaine and demanding we talk there and then. I then realised I didn’t want to be in public if we broke up and wanted to be able to cry under my duvet as soon as possible. After what seemed like hours, we reached the apartment and I unlocked the door. We stepped inside and took our coats off, taking our time to hang them up.
We stood in silence before I cracked, “Are you going to break up with me?”
Blaine just frowned at me, “What?”
“Are you going to break up with me?” I repeated, my heart aching.
Blaine just frowned again, “Why do you think that?”
I took a deep breath and let it all out, “You were so emotional singing ‘Teenage Dream’ that I thought it might be your way of saying goodbye. You know, we started with ‘Teenage Dream’ and we can end on ‘Teenage Dream’. You’ve been so distant tonight and during our fight you said you can’t be bothered anymore or that you’re tired.”
I was beginning to hyperventilate. I could feel my knees buckling beneath me. I didn’t know what I would do if Blaine broke up with me. I wouldn’t be able to cope. I needed him in my life. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend.
Blaine suddenly put his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him, “Breathe Kurt!”
I stared back into his eyes and managed to control my breathing, still letting out a few gasps occasionally.
Blaine kept his hands on my face, his eyes glistening with tears, “Kurt Hummel I love you so much. Yes we had a fight and I was upset and angry but I do not want to break up with you. I was so touched and overwhelmed when you sang that song I wanted to sing our song to you. I wanted to sing the version we danced to at our prom. I wasn’t using it as a way to end our relationship. I would never do that. When I said I was tired and couldn’t be bothered, I meant about the fighting. I will never be tired of our relationship.”
I let out a sob, “I love you Blaine.”
Blaine pulled me into a tight hug and I clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder. I heard Blaine sniff several times indicating he was crying too.
“I hate fighting with you,” I heard Blaine say into my shirt.
I pulled back and looked into Blaine’s eyes, still holding him close, “I’m so sorry for everything.”
Blaine smiled sadly, “I know you are but that doesn’t change how busy you are.”
“It does Blaine,” I eagerly replied, hoping he’d be happy with my news, “I spoke to Isabelle today. Well she saw me crying and I told her everything. She was my Fairy Godmother and she came up with a solution. She did apologise for making me work so hard when I wasn’t supposed to but there’s nothing I can do about that now. We made a deal that I would only work Mondays and Tuesdays after NYADA and the latest I’ll work to is nine o’clock at night. I won’t be working ridiculous hours and we’ll always have plenty of time for one another. I’ll even be able to come and hear you play on Thursday nights. I took you for granted baby but I promise you… that will never happen again! I love you so much Blaine Devon Anderson. You’re my entire world.”
Blaine was silent for a moment before suddenly he pulled me in for a kiss. I clung to Blaine once again and wound my hands behind his neck. Blaine had one hand on my back and the other in my hair. I deepened the kiss and pulled Blaine closer to me. After a few minutes Blaine ran his tongue along my bottom lip before gently biting down on it, causing me to let out a whimper. I parted my lips and let Blaine’s tongue enter my mouth. I didn’t fight Blaine for dominance on this occasion and let him overpower me. I had so many emotions surging my body, I felt like that Blaine was the thing that was keeping me upright. Blaine would occasionally pull away to kiss or mark my neck but then we would resume kissing. Blaine somehow walked me to the sofa and we collapsed onto it; me underneath Blaine. We carried on kissing until we needed to part to catch our breaths.
“I love you Kurt,” Blaine gasped out, his lips all swollen.
“I love you too Blaine,” I replied sounding breathless, knowing I was in the same state as Blaine.
Blaine seemed unsure for a second, “Are you sure about the Vogue.com thing?”
I immediately nodded, “I’m one hundred percent sure. I didn’t need a job and yes, I do it enjoy it but our relationship is my top priority. I am not letting anything come between us. I’ll always make time for you Blaine Anderson. I’m prepared to sacrifice things for you, as I know you are for me. You’re mine and I’m yours. Forever.”
Blaine and I shared a loving look before I spoke again, “Oh I’m sorry about Adam. I don’t know what to do about him.”
“I’m just happy he knows about me,” Blaine admitted looking shy, “I was worried at first but as soon as you introduced me and he recognised the name, I knew there wasn’t a problem. I know you and if anyone tries again, you give them the Hummel glare and tell them that you have a boyfriend.”
I smiled softly at Blaine, “And that was no exception with Adam. I promise you Blaine. You’re it for me.”
Blaine and I shifted our bodies slightly so we were lying side by side and could snuggle up together.
“I love you Kurt,” Blaine whispered into my hair, placing a soft kiss there.
I smiled happily, “I love you too Blaine. I promise I’ll always make time for you.”
“Hey where’s my sweet wrapper promise ring that goes with that promise?” Blaine teased, sounding so happy it was like music to my ears.
I gently slapped him on the arm, “I’ll attempt at making one in the morning. I can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as yours.”
Blaine pulled me closer, “I don’t care about the ring as long as you keep your promise.”
I made sure I was looking Blaine in the eye before I answered, “Oh I intend to Mr Anderson. I intend to keep my promises for the rest of my life.”
Blaine and I smiled at one another before sharing a kiss full of love and happiness, ready for a future together and ready for what life throws at us.
“Blaine!” I burst through the door to our apartment in Bushwick, “Blaine! I have something amazing to tell you!”
Blaine was sitting on the sofa watching a programme that looked like Downton Abbey, “I’m here baby. What’s up?”
I glanced at the TV and saw it was a Downton Abbey catch up, “Ooo I love this episode. There’s so much drama.”
Blaine waved his hand in front of my face, “Umm Kurt you had something you wanted to tell me?”
I stared at him for a moment before grinning, “Oh right. Sorry I always get distracted by British TV shows. They’re just the best.”
Blaine rolled in his eyes with a fond look, “I know Kurt. I’m pretty sure a show like Downton Abbey or Doctor Who could distract you while we’re having sex.”
I gasped in mock horror, “The cheek of it Blaine Devon Anderson. Well maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have a TV in our bedroom.”
Blaine winked at me, “Or the bathroom or the kitchen.”
I just laughed at my boyfriend, “What happened to you? You used to be such a gentleman.”
“Hey I am!” Blaine tried to look offended, “It’s just when I’m with you, you bring out another side of me. Anyway what did you want to tell me?”
“You, Mr Anderson, are looking at the new intern at Vogue.com!” I yelled, buzzing with excitement.
Blaine gaped at me, “What? How? When?”
I just chuckled at the look on my boyfriend’s face, “Okay I know we said we’d focus on our degrees and all but we do need money to pay for stuff like food and rent. I know I have some money saved up but I’d like to be able to use that for our future. I know you have a trust fund and all but I don’t want to rely on that. That’s for our future. I saw there was an opening at Vogue.com and I applied. I had an interview with the one and only Miss Isabelle Wright…”
Blaine interrupted me, “Isabelle Wright? It’s rumoured that she gave Steve Jobs his first black turtleneck!”
“I know right!” I exclaimed, feeling so happy, “She loved me Blaine!”
Blaine’s eyes softened when they met mine, “Well it’s not hard to see why baby.”
I leaned forward and placed a kiss on Blaine’s lips, “Well it’s reasons like that why I love you!”
Blaine pulled me back to him and we kissed again. I loved being able to kiss Blaine whenever I wanted. I loved waking up beside him every morning. I could see myself doing it for the rest of my life.
“I’m home!” came a shrill voice interrupting our kiss.
We pulled apart to see Rachel standing there smiling at us.
“Rachel there was no need for that,” I groaned, already feeling annoyed at the girl when she had just got here.
Rachel rolled her eyes, “How would you know I was here then?”
Blaine and I both groaned at that. Rachel had been living with us for three months and it was now approaching the beginning of October. Blaine and I had moved to New York in the beginning of July to get settled in. Rachel had joined us a week later to our surprise. We were the only people she was friends with in New York. Some of the Warblers like Sebastian, Nick and Jeff lived in New York as well but obviously Rachel was closer to us. Rachel and Finn had surrendered their relationship and he had put her on a train to New York as that was where she belonged. Finn had joined the army and had lasted sixteen days. He backpacked around Georgia for a while before coming to New York after no contact for two months. He and Rachel had had a massive argument and she had admitted to kissing some guy called Brody that Blaine and I had heard a lot about but only met once about this NYADA bar called Callbacks. Blaine and I had performed a duet of Pink’s ‘Perfect’ there as it was one of our songs. Finn and Rachel had officially broken up and we had to deal with a lot of crying and mood swings. Living with Rachel was impossible. She sang all the time, she used all the hot water and expected everything to be done for her. Plus she hadn’t paid any rent. That was part of the reason I went out and got a job to support us.
“God Rachel you are so irritating sometimes!” I vented, collapsing on the sofa next to Blaine who grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
Rachel looked shocked by that, “I don’t understand why you are calling me that! I’ve been the perfect roommate.”
Even my polite boyfriend had something to say, “Rachel, and I say this with love, you are one of the worst people I have ever lived with. You have to remember Kurt and I went to a boarding school and lived with other people.”
Rachel stuck her nose up in the air, “Fine. I was going to tell you that I’m moving out anyway. There’s something between Brody and I and he’s asked me to live with him. He’s going to help me with my application for NYADA so I can apply for the spring semester.”
I looked at her sceptically, “Wait a minute. You were all about Finn a minute ago and now you’re suddenly all over this Brody? Rachel what is happening to you? You’ve changed so much I hardly recognise you! I know we went to different schools but we’re still close. You’re wearing so much makeup you could be classified as a Barbie! And what’s this I heard about you auditioning for a film with a topless scene?”
Rachel looked a little shaken, “Okay I applied but I freaked out when it came to the topless scene. I just want things on my resume. I need to get into NYADA Kurt! I need to be on Broadway!”
“You will be on Broadway,” I smiled at my old friend, “You don’t want to get on Broadway and then have the press drag up a crappy film where you were topless in it. You’d be so embarrassed. Here is a Kurt Hummel fashion tip. Tone down the makeup. You look so much prettier with the natural look.”
Rachel sniffed, “I guess I just wanted a change. Finn broke up with me and didn’t contact me. I didn’t know what to do.”
I got up from the sofa and hugged her, “I know sweetie but it’ll be okay. Look do you really want to live with this Brody?”
Rachel nodded and I sighed, “I can’t stop you. Just remember there is always a place for you here.”
Rachel hugged me tighter, “Thank you Best Gay. Oops no offence Blaine. Oh by the way I have three months’ worth of rent for you. I’m sorry I’ve just been sponging on you.”
Rachel pulled out an envelope from her bag and I quickly checked it. All the money was there.
I smiled at her, “Thanks Rachel. So when are you…?”
“Right now,” Rachel interrupted, “I’m just grabbing my bags and then I’m off. Don’t worry, I’ll be around. We’ll always see one another.”
I let Rachel go and re-joined Blaine on the sofa, “Wow I did not see that coming, nor did I see her giving us rent.”
Blaine just shrugged, “It’s her life and she has to learn for herself. At least we won’t be interrupted anymore.”
I winked at my boyfriend, “Well I like your way of thinking.”
Blaine leaned in and kissed my nose, “So tell me more about your job at Vogue.com?”
“It’s just a part time job as I told Isabelle about NYADA,” I informed Blaine, “I’ll be her assistant but will also be giving my view in meetings. I’m actually living the dream!”
Blaine grinned at me, “I’m so happy for you. I also have a job. It’s nothing like yours. I just perform in this coffee shop on Thursday nights near my college so I’ll be home late then.”
“Oh Blaine that’s amazing!” I squealed, kissing my boyfriend, “I’m so proud of you.”
Blaine gave me the look he always got when I said I was proud of him, “Thank you Kurt. So when are you working for Vogue?”
“At the moment Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays after NYADA,” I replied, thinking about how busy I would be, “I know it’s a lot but just think of the money I’ll make. We would actually be able to afford plane tickets without dipping into our savings! And I promise we’ll always make time for one another.”
Blaine gave me a soft smile, “Agreed. I love you so much.”
“I love you,” I replied, giving Blaine another kiss.
“Well I’m all packed,” Rachel interrupted once again, “I’ll be off now.”
Blaine and I pulled apart and got to our feet. We made our way over to Rachel by the door and hugged her. She clung to us and I heard her sniff a few times. We pulled away and smiled at her.
“Rach just remember we’ll always be there for you,” Blaine said smiling at her as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“Oh you guys!” Rachel cried before kissing us both on the cheek, “You remind me so much of my gay Dads! I love you both!”
I just rolled my eyes before smiling, “And we love you.”
We said our goodbyes before Rachel left the apartment. There was a moment of silence before Blaine jumped on me, knocking me to the ground and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
“Here’s to no more interruptions!” Blaine cheered, causing me to laugh as he made his way down my body.
(break)
I closed the door to our apartment as quietly as I possibly could. The whole apartment was covered in darkness. I guessed Blaine was asleep. I glanced at my phone and saw it was quarter past one in the morning. It was now Friday. I would be up in a few hours to go to class. I had had such a long day. I was at NYADA in the morning then I went to work at Vogue.com. I had been working there for six weeks. I had been working every day for the last four weeks. There was an emergency over the deadline and I had to stay on and work. I would be so relieved when the work was completed. Maybe I could go and have a life. I felt so guilty for not spending much time with Blaine. Every day I would wake up, go to NYADA, go to work, come home and sleep. I didn’t have time for anything else. I would try and ring Blaine during the day but I would always get distracted and have to end our phone calls. I hated what a shitty boyfriend I was being and I hoped I wouldn’t push Blaine away. Any time we did spend together was mainly fighting about not seeing one another. We were in a vicious cycle and I was terrified we wouldn’t get out. I knew my job was causing a lot of problems but I loved it and it was helping the two of us be financially stable.
Suddenly a light switched on and I spun around to see Blaine sitting on the armchair looking angry. I knew immediately I had some major grovelling to do.
“Blaine…” I started, not knowing where to start.
“What time do you call this?” Blaine said quietly, his voice thick with anger.
I tensed at his tone, “I’m so sorry Blaine. I got held up at work as we have to get everything done before the deadline. I’m so sorry. I should have called you.”
“Yes you should have,” Blaine said bluntly, “I never see you anymore Kurt. You spend all your time at NYADA or at Vogue.com! What about me?”
I took a step closer to him, “Blaine I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to neglect you. I just got caught up in it all.”
Blaine let out an exasperated sigh, “If I didn’t call you out on it, do you think you would have realised it yourself or you would have just completely forgotten about me?”
“Hey!” I had to interrupt him there, “I did realise it Blaine. I wouldn’t have just forgotten about you. I could never forget about you!”
“Oh Kurt don’t give me that!” Blaine’s voice was getting louder, “I never see you and when I do, we’re arguing. I feel like I have a better relationship with your voicemail!”
I couldn’t help myself, “Are you quoting ‘Friends’ there?”
That just angered my boyfriend more, “So what if I am? It’s the truth. I wake up and you’re gone. I go to college, hang out with my friends, come home, wait to see if you come home and you never do. When I go to sleep at night you’re not beside me, I’m all alone. We were so excited for New York as it’d be the two of us living together and waking up next to each other every morning. That’s not happening is it?”
“I’m sorry Blaine,” I pleaded, desperate to make my boyfriend understand, “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I miss you too Blaine. I wish we got to wake up with each other every morning and go to bed together. It’s just… I’m on such a hectic schedule at the moment but it’ll die down.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Blaine demanded, “What if this continues for the rest of the school year? You can’t expect me to just sit around and hope to catch a glance of your face.”
I paled at his words, “Blaine… what are you saying?”
I was terrified of what would come out of Blaine’s mouth.
Blaine ran his hands over his face, “I just… I’m so tired Kurt, so damn tired. I miss talking to you, I miss hugging you and I miss messing around with you.”
“I do too Blaine!” I cried desperately, hoping we could work this out.
Blaine just sighed, “I sometimes wonder what it’d be like if I was a year younger than you. I would be back in Lima all on my own, missing you terribly. I don’t want to think what I would have done.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my bottom lip tremble.
Blaine sighed again, “I probably would have thought that you and I weren’t meant to me. I can imagine a younger version of me calling you and calling you and getting no answer. I would be feeling so lonely and insecure. Well to be honest, that’s how I’m feeling now. At least I have college and friends to lean on.”
“I’m so sorry Blaine…” I tried again.
Blaine quickly interrupted me, “You haven’t told me you love me in weeks. That hurts Kurt. That really really hurts. You’re the love of my life and we should be relishing in the fact we’re living together. We should be celebrating the fact we’ve taken our relationship to the next level. Instead we hardly see one another. When I do get through to you on the phone and you have to go a minute later, I always say ‘I love you’ but you’ve always hung up by then. It hurts.”
I could feel the tears threatening to escape, “I’m so sorry Blaine. I really am. I just need to manage my time better. And you know I love you. I do. I love you so much.”
“It’s like you feel you can just put our relationship on a shelf while you figure out what you’re doing with your life. It doesn’t work like that Kurt. You can’t just expect me to be put on the side lines, feeling so lonely, while you go on your life,” Blaine cried, tears pouring down his face.
“I don’t expect you to wait on the side lines,” I was crying now. I hated how much I had hurt my love, “I hate that you’re lonely. I’ll make it up to you Blaine. I promise.”
“I don’t even know why you got a job in the first place,” Blaine yelled, the emotion taking over, “You didn’t need to. I get that you love fashion and it was a great opportunity. We were fine before you got the job. You know what? I can’t be bothered anymore. I’m going to bed.”
My eye’s widened, “You can’t be bothered anymore? Blaine what does that mean? Blaine please I love you.”
Blaine just smiled sadly at me, “Goodnight Kurt. I hope to see you before I go to sleep tomorrow but I won’t hold out for it.”
Blaine swiftly got up and walked into the bedroom without looking back. I collapsed onto the sofa and let all my emotions out. I needed to fix this.
(break)
“Kurt? Sweetie what’s wrong?” I heard my boss Isabelle say.
It was later on in the day after our fight and I couldn’t get it out of my head. All I could picture was Blaine when I got home early this morning looking defeated. I had eventually joined Blaine in bed and held onto him as he slept. It had taken me hours to fall asleep but when I woke up Blaine was gone. I had been terrified he had left me but all of his belongings were still there and I noticed his gym bag was gone. I had gone to my usual classes before heading to Vogue.com. I had been yelled at several times by my dance teacher Cassandra July but I didn’t care less. I had to make everything okay with my loving boyfriend. I was currently sitting at my desk working while trying to hold back the tears. Isabelle had spotted me and had a concerned look on her face.
“Me? I’m fine,” I replied, my voice breaking on the last word.
Isabelle shook her head, “No you’re not. Come on, come with me to my office.”
I had no choice to follow. Once inside Isabelle’s office, she gestured to a seat in front of her desk and I sat down, looking at my heads. Isabelle sat in her desk chair and observed me.
Isabelle placed her arms on the desk and leaned on her hands, “Kurt what’s wrong? Come on, you can talk to me. It’s my job to ensure my employee is happy. Did something happen here?”
I quickly shook my head, “No nothing happened here. It’s something to do with my boyfriend.”
“Blaine?” I had talked about him enough to Isabelle so she knew his name, “What’s happened sweetie?”
“We’ve been arguing recently but last night was so bad,” I said, trying not to cry, “He said he hates how he never sees me anymore as I’m always here or at NYADA. It is true that I get up before him and come home when he’s sleeping. It’s hurting him so much and I hate what a shitty boyfriend I am, pardon my French. I don’t know what to do!”
Isabelle just looked at me for a moment, “Oh honey I am so sorry. I sometimes forget you’re at college so just give you the same workload as everyone else.”
“It’s okay…” I started but Isabelle shook her head.
“No it’s not, especially if it’s affecting your relationship,” Isabelle said sadly, “I’m so sorry to do that to you.”
I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there. Isabelle sat there as well, looking like she was thinking. Neither of us spoke for a minute.
“Right I know what we’re going to do,” Isabelle stated, sounding happy, “You are going to work Mondays and Tuesdays after NYADA. You will leave here at the latest nine o’clock of an evening. Those are the only days you will work and if I forget and try to make you work more, you tell me no. Understood?”
I just gaped at her, “What? Are you serious? How can you do this and still keep me as an employee?”
Isabelle just smiled, “Kurt I am the boss here and what I say goes. I want to keep you as an employee as I’ve seen your potential. You’ve done wonders around here. I know even if you work two days a week you’ll deliver. It’s about the quality not the quantity.”
“Bless you Fairy Godmother,” I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t believe it.
Isabelle laughed at my words, “Thank you Kurt. Look sweetie, I don’t want you to suffer because of this. We have been working you too hard recently and I apologise. Now I want you to dry your tears and head on home. We’ll be fine without you tonight. I want you to spend time with Blaine at the weekend and I’ll see you Monday and you can tell me all about it. Okay?”
I couldn’t say anything so I just got up and hugged Isabelle. She chuckled slightly and hugged me back. She kissed my cheek and smiled at me.
“Thank you so much Isabelle,” I stammered out, “I can never thank you enough.”
Isabelle just winked at me, “Have a good weekend Kurt. And I’ll see you Monday.”
I hurried out of the office to my desk and grabbed my belongings, mentally planning my weekend with the man I loved.
(break)
I had been sitting on the sofa for an hour or so when I heard the door start to open. I held my breath as Blaine entered the apartment. He once again looked defeated. My heart immediately broke. Blaine shut the door and turned around. Our eyes met. His mouth dropped again at the sight of me.
“Kurt?” He sounded confused, “What are you doing here?”
“I came home early,” I replied, standing up and smiling tentatively at Blaine.
He nodded, “Well it’s good to see you.”
“And you,” I replied softly, “Blaine honey we need to talk.”
Blaine nodded again, “I know but not now. We made plans to go to Callbacks with Nick and Jeff. I was actually expecting to be going on my own but it’s… good that you can go.”
I smiled at Blaine and he grimaced back at me. We stood there awkwardly for a few moments, just looking at one another.
“Well,” Blaine coughed, “I said we’ll meet them at seven and it’s six now so we’d better start getting ready.”
I nodded as I watched Blaine sprint into the bathroom. I sighed, knowing this was going to be awkward but I wanted to fix it so desperately. Blaine was my world and he needed to know that. I headed into our bedroom and decided to select what I was going to wear. Eventually I decided on an outfit I had worn on a date with Blaine back in Lima. It was after his whole blonde people jealousy episode. We had had an amazing night out in Westerville. I decided on my tight red trousers, my black Givenchy shirt with a red collar that matched the trousers and my Hugo Boss shoes. As I had finished choosing, Blaine entered the bedroom with just a towel around his waist.
“The bathroom’s free now,” he said, avoiding my eyes.
“Thank you,” I replied, hating how things were between us.
I quickly jumped in the shower and washed my hair and body. I did the quickest version of my skincare routine and blow dried my hair, styling it into its usual perfect coif. I wanted to impress Blaine tonight. He was all that mattered to me. I wrapped a towel around my waist and exited the bathroom, switching off the light behind me. I walked into our room and found Blaine tying his shoe laces. He was wearing a short sleeved Ted Baker shirt with a checked collar with a dark blue vest. I could see his Ted Baker grey coat lying on the bed. I noticed he was wearing some smart black shoes at well.
“You look so handsome Blaine,” I tried, my eyes raking over my boyfriend’s body.
“Thank you,” Blaine replied, “I’ll let you get changed.”
Blaine quickly let the room after grabbing his jacket and I let out a sigh. I quickly got changed and made sure my clothes weren’t wrinkled. I walked out of the bedroom and found Blaine waiting by the front door. I grabbed my black Zara coat off the coat rack and turned to see Blaine staring at me.
“What?” I said, feeling self-conscious.
“You look amazing Kurt. I remember the last time you wore that outfit,” Blaine told me with a small smile.
“It was a fantastic night,” I told Blaine with a bigger smile, “Hey we had better go otherwise we’ll be late.”
Blaine nodded and I quickly put my coat on. We left the apartment and made sure we had locked up. We left the building and started walking to the subway. Our hands kept brushing against each other’s. I had never not walked somewhere with Blaine and not held his hand. I was terrified of rejection. I decided to man up and just go for it. I reached out and took Blaine’s hand in mine. I was so thankful when Blaine accepted my hand and gave it a little squeeze. We continued the rest of our journey in silence, still holding hands however. After a subway ride and a short walk we arrived at Callbacks. I immediately spotted Nick and Jeff waiting outside.
“Kurt! Blaine!” Jeff called when he spotted us, “Look Nick, it’s Klaine!”
Jeff immediately pulled us into a hug and after a while let us go. The second he let go Nick was hugging us. I couldn’t help but laugh, despite my situation with Blaine.
Nick let us go and grinned at the pair of us, “We’ve missed you guys. We need to hang out more.”
“I agree,” Blaine said with a smile, “Come on, let’s go in and get a table.”
“I’ll get the first round!” Jeff cried as we headed into the piano bar.
We saw a table for four and immediately grabbed it. I knew from past experience how busy the place could get. We all took our jackets off and sat down. Jeff got up and headed towards the bar while the three of us sat in silence. I knew Nick was watching Blaine and I but I didn’t know what to say. I wished that we hadn’t come out and instead had sat down and talked about everything. Maybe Blaine was avoiding that because he did want to break up. I could feel my palms sweating.
“Kurt!” I suddenly heard my name being called, “Kurt I haven’t seen you here in ages!”
I turned my head to see a guy I had met at NYADA grinning at me. His name was Adam Crawford and he had practically been stalking me in an attempt for me to join his show choir group ‘Adam’s Apples’ after seeing me sing in one of my classes. It was something I would be interested in but I had been way too busy.
“Hey Adam, how are you?” I asked politely, noting the way Adam looked at me.
One of the reasons I had declined his offers was because I suspected Adam had a slight crush on me. I didn’t need any more drama in my life. I had mentioned Blaine several times but I don’t think Adam had ever got the hint.
“I’m good thanks, great now that you’re here,” Adam replied, smiling even more if possible.
I cringed at his response. I saw Blaine’s shoulders slump next to me and I saw Nick’s eyes widen. Jeff came back at that moment and he was glancing between Adam, Blaine and I.
I had to stop this, “Oh excuse me. These are my friends from high school Nick and Jeff. Guys this is Adam, someone else who goes to NYADA. And this handsome man to my left is the boyfriend I’ve told you about. Adam this is my Blaine.”
I saw Blaine startle and he stared at me in surprise. I smiled back at him. I wanted him to know that I would never let someone flirt with me and not tell them about him.
Adam’s smile shrunk slightly, “Oh you’re the Blaine I’ve heard about so many times. Well it’s nice to put a name to a face.”
Blaine smiled politely, “Nice to meet you too Adam.”
Adam turned back to me, “So Kurt? Adam’s Apples? I know you’re just playing hard to get and really want to join.”
I had to let out a laugh, “I’m not playing Adam. Look I’ll reconsider in the spring semester.”
Adam grinned at me, “That’s good enough for me. I’ll talk to you about it later. Have a good night gentlemen.”
And with that Adam headed towards the bar. I let out a sigh of relief.
Jeff broke the silence first, “Who the hell was that British guy?”
I sighed again, “His name is Adam and he’s the leader of a show choir group at NYADA. He heard me sing one day and found out I was in the National winning Warblers so has been begging me to join. I haven’t had the time but he won’t accept that.”
“He’ll be worse than Blaine if he’s named the group after himself,” Nick stated with a smirk.
Blaine just glared at him, causing us all to laugh. Blaine couldn’t stop himself smiling at us. We made eye contact for a moment and I knew he was thinking about my comment ‘Blaine and the Pips’.
“Kurt!” I rolled my eyes, wondering who it was this time and turned to see Rachel and Brody.
“Kurt! Blaine! How are you? Oh hello Nick and Jeff! Nice to see you. I’m here with my boyfriend Brody. We’re living together,” Rachel told Nick and Jeff in one breath.
“Rachel breathe girl. It’s good to see you,” I told her before turning to Brody, “Hi Brody.”
He smiled back at me, “Hi Kurt. So you guys singing tonight? I know the piano man Pascal.”
Nick grinned, “I think I might sing ‘Uptown Girl’.”
Blaine, Jeff and I groaned. Nick had been obsessed with that song since junior year and he had eventually sang it during our senior year.
Brody just smiled politely, “Fair enough. How about you guys?”
Jeff shook his head but I decided to go for it, “Yeah I’ll sing. I haven’t done that in a while.”
Rachel smiled at me, “Brody and I are going on now. We’re singing ‘Give Your Heart A Break’ by Demi Lovato. You can sing after us.”
Rachel and Brody headed up to the stage and the song started. We watched them for a few before continuing our conversation.
“So Kurt what are you singing?” Nick asked, sounding curious.
“Still deciding,” I joked, even though I was half curious, “You’ll have to wait and see. Oh I was going to ask… how is Sebastian? I haven’t seen him in forever.”
Jeff’s eyes gleamed, “Neither have we. He’s got a boyfriend. Some guy who went to military school. Think his name begins with an ‘H’.”
“Really?” I was shocked, “Well we’ll have to see if we can meet him.”
Suddenly the song was over and I was being called up to the front. I whispered the name of the song to the piano and stood in the middle of the stage behind the microphone.
“This is for the love of my life Blaine. I’m really sorry how much I’ve been working lately and I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” I told the crowd, looking directly at Blaine before indicating to the piano man I was ready.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to sing, “The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting.”
I made eye contact with Blaine, “Could it be that we have been this way before, I know you don't think that I am trying.”
I smiled sadly at my boyfriend, “I know you're wearing thin down to the core.”
I closed my eyes as I prepared to sing the chorus, changing the word from ‘girl to ‘boy’ so the song would fit Blaine, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. You’re impossible to find.”
I opened my eyes and found Blaine’s again, “This is not what I intended, I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.”
I thought of all the times Blaine had told me I was brave, “You always thought that I was stronger.”
“I may have failed but I have loved you from the start,” I sang, letting my mind remember the moment I met Blaine on the Dalton staircase.
I glanced at my friends looking at me sadly before looking at Blaine again, his eyes glistening with tears, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. It’s impossible.”
“So breathe in so deep, breathe me in, I'm yours to keep,” I sang, trying not to let my voice shake. I hoped Blaine knew how true the last words I had sung were.
I felt a tear trail down my cheek, “And hold onto your words, 'Cause talk is cheap and remember me tonight when you're asleep.”
I took a deep breath, ensured I had eye contact with Blaine and put all my emotion into the last two choruses, “But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find. Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a boy like you is impossible to find.”
I let my voice fade away as it finally cracked, “You’re impossible to find…”
Everyone in the bar cheered and applauded. I quickly wiped away the tears left on my cheeks and did one of my famous Kurt Hummel bows, leading to more applause. I quickly exited the stage and headed back to my table.
Suddenly Adam stepped into my vision, “That was amazing Kurt! You need to join Adam’s Apples!”
I had had enough, “Not now Adam okay.”
I didn’t give him a chance to answer and walked over to my table. Blaine wasn’t looking at me but Jeff and Nick were.
“You were amazing up there,” Nick said with a sad smile, “Well done Kurt.”
“Thank you,” I replied formally, feeling emotional.
I heard Brody say my name into the microphone and say the song I had sung. Suddenly I heard him say Blaine’s name. I watched as Blaine stood up looking determined and walked over to the piano. I watched as he exchanged words with Pascal before Pascal stepped away and Blaine sat down at the piano.
He coughed slightly before speaking into the microphone, “Um… hi everyone. I… I want to sing a song that’s very special to me. This is a song I sang the first time I ever met the love of my life. So Kurt… this is for you.”
As soon as Blaine said that, I felt some tension leave my body. He still loved me and he was dedicating a song for me. Not just any song… our song. I realised he was going to perform the acoustic version that I had never heard him sing live but had danced to during our prom.
Blaine started playing the piano and closed his eyes, “Before you met me, I was alright but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life.”
His eyes opened and locked on mine. I couldn’t move, “Now every February, you'll be my Valentine… Valentine.”
Blaine paused for a moment before he reclosed his eyes and sang, “Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love. We can dance, until we die… you and I, will be young forever…”
Blaine opened his eyes, tears glistening in the corners of them, and looked at me, “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back… don't ever look back.”
Blaine sounded like he was desperately trying not to cry. My face dropped. What if this was his way of saying goodbye. We began with ‘Teenage Dream’ and we’ll end with ‘Teenage Dream’. I saw Nick glance at me out of the corner of my eye but I couldn’t take my eyes off the broken man in front of me.
Blaine’s voice cracked slightly as he continued, “My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe, this is real so take a chance and don't ever look back… Don't ever look back”
Blaine was seriously struggling and all I could do was sit there frozen in shock, “I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight. Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight.”
Blaine threw every bit of energy he had into the next part of the song, “You… make me feel like a teenage dream the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back… don't ever look back.”
The two of us were crying freely, one watching, one singing as we couldn’t cope with the emotion, “I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight. Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans…”
Blaine whispered the last line, “Be your teenage dream tonight.”
There was a moment of silence before the whole place erupted. Despite having an emotional breakdown Blaine was still an amazing performer. Blaine nodded to the audience before standing up and walking back over to the table. When he sat down, I could see Jeff and Nick looking between us, trying to work out what to say. I could even see Rachel and Brody in the distance looking at us with concern.
Eventually Blaine turned to me, his manner calm and collected, “I think we should go home.”
Panic flowed through me. What if Blaine was going to break up with me when we go back to the apartment?
I just nodded timidly, “Sure.”
We bid goodbye to Nick and Jeff and I waved to Rachel and Brody. We grabbed our jackets and exited Callbacks then began the walk back to the apartment. No one said anything on the walk. I felt like I was going to die. We walked through Battery Park and I considered stopping Blaine and demanding we talk there and then. I then realised I didn’t want to be in public if we broke up and wanted to be able to cry under my duvet as soon as possible. After what seemed like hours, we reached the apartment and I unlocked the door. We stepped inside and took our coats off, taking our time to hang them up.
We stood in silence before I cracked, “Are you going to break up with me?”
Blaine just frowned at me, “What?”
“Are you going to break up with me?” I repeated, my heart aching.
Blaine just frowned again, “Why do you think that?”
I took a deep breath and let it all out, “You were so emotional singing ‘Teenage Dream’ that I thought it might be your way of saying goodbye. You know, we started with ‘Teenage Dream’ and we can end on ‘Teenage Dream’. You’ve been so distant tonight and during our fight you said you can’t be bothered anymore or that you’re tired.”
I was beginning to hyperventilate. I could feel my knees buckling beneath me. I didn’t know what I would do if Blaine broke up with me. I wouldn’t be able to cope. I needed him in my life. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend.
Blaine suddenly put his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him, “Breathe Kurt!”
I stared back into his eyes and managed to control my breathing, still letting out a few gasps occasionally.
Blaine kept his hands on my face, his eyes glistening with tears, “Kurt Hummel I love you so much. Yes we had a fight and I was upset and angry but I do not want to break up with you. I was so touched and overwhelmed when you sang that song I wanted to sing our song to you. I wanted to sing the version we danced to at our prom. I wasn’t using it as a way to end our relationship. I would never do that. When I said I was tired and couldn’t be bothered, I meant about the fighting. I will never be tired of our relationship.”
I let out a sob, “I love you Blaine.”
Blaine pulled me into a tight hug and I clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder. I heard Blaine sniff several times indicating he was crying too.
“I hate fighting with you,” I heard Blaine say into my shirt.
I pulled back and looked into Blaine’s eyes, still holding him close, “I’m so sorry for everything.”
Blaine smiled sadly, “I know you are but that doesn’t change how busy you are.”
“It does Blaine,” I eagerly replied, hoping he’d be happy with my news, “I spoke to Isabelle today. Well she saw me crying and I told her everything. She was my Fairy Godmother and she came up with a solution. She did apologise for making me work so hard when I wasn’t supposed to but there’s nothing I can do about that now. We made a deal that I would only work Mondays and Tuesdays after NYADA and the latest I’ll work to is nine o’clock at night. I won’t be working ridiculous hours and we’ll always have plenty of time for one another. I’ll even be able to come and hear you play on Thursday nights. I took you for granted baby but I promise you… that will never happen again! I love you so much Blaine Devon Anderson. You’re my entire world.”
Blaine was silent for a moment before suddenly he pulled me in for a kiss. I clung to Blaine once again and wound my hands behind his neck. Blaine had one hand on my back and the other in my hair. I deepened the kiss and pulled Blaine closer to me. After a few minutes Blaine ran his tongue along my bottom lip before gently biting down on it, causing me to let out a whimper. I parted my lips and let Blaine’s tongue enter my mouth. I didn’t fight Blaine for dominance on this occasion and let him overpower me. I had so many emotions surging my body, I felt like that Blaine was the thing that was keeping me upright. Blaine would occasionally pull away to kiss or mark my neck but then we would resume kissing. Blaine somehow walked me to the sofa and we collapsed onto it; me underneath Blaine. We carried on kissing until we needed to part to catch our breaths.
“I love you Kurt,” Blaine gasped out, his lips all swollen.
“I love you too Blaine,” I replied sounding breathless, knowing I was in the same state as Blaine.
Blaine seemed unsure for a second, “Are you sure about the Vogue.com thing?”
I immediately nodded, “I’m one hundred percent sure. I didn’t need a job and yes, I do it enjoy it but our relationship is my top priority. I am not letting anything come between us. I’ll always make time for you Blaine Anderson. I’m prepared to sacrifice things for you, as I know you are for me. You’re mine and I’m yours. Forever.”
Blaine and I shared a loving look before I spoke again, “Oh I’m sorry about Adam. I don’t know what to do about him.”
“I’m just happy he knows about me,” Blaine admitted looking shy, “I was worried at first but as soon as you introduced me and he recognised the name, I knew there wasn’t a problem. I know you and if anyone tries again, you give them the Hummel glare and tell them that you have a boyfriend.”
I smiled softly at Blaine, “And that was no exception with Adam. I promise you Blaine. You’re it for me.”
Blaine and I shifted our bodies slightly so we were lying side by side and could snuggle up together.
“I love you Kurt,” Blaine whispered into my hair, placing a soft kiss there.
I smiled happily, “I love you too Blaine. I promise I’ll always make time for you.”
“Hey where’s my sweet wrapper promise ring that goes with that promise?” Blaine teased, sounding so happy it was like music to my ears.
I gently slapped him on the arm, “I’ll attempt at making one in the morning. I can’t guarantee it’ll be as good as yours.”
Blaine pulled me closer, “I don’t care about the ring as long as you keep your promise.”
I made sure I was looking Blaine in the eye before I answered, “Oh I intend to Mr Anderson. I intend to keep my promises for the rest of my life.”
Blaine and I smiled at one another before sharing a kiss full of love and happiness, ready for a future together and ready for what life throws at us.