"Well, I didn't think you were even really attracted to me."

Kurt pulled back and looked at Blaine with one eyebrow raised. "You do own a mirror, right?"

Blaine felt himself blushing. He knew he was reasonably good-looking, girls seemed to think so at least, but there was definitely room for improvement. "I thought you liked guys who were really tall, and built. Like Sam and Finn."

"I like guys who are nice, and can sing. Like you." Kurt patted Blaine's leg. "I also have a weakness for guys who are cute but clueless, so naturally I fell for you right away."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I didn't realize you were sensitive about being vertically challenged. I must have been too distracted by your Montgomery Clift-esque looks."

"No, why didn't you tell me how you felt about me sooner? Since I was too clueless to figure it out on my own."

Kurt shrugged. "I've had kind of a problem in the past with coming on too strong. I figured I'd better let you take the lead. You were a good friend to me too, and I needed a friend then more than I needed a boyfriend. I didn't want to ruin everything by acting like a creep."

"You're too adorable to be creepy."

"Uh huh. Where was this 'You're so adorable' stuff when I did tell you how I felt?"

"You didn't tell me how you felt!" Blaine protested. "You only said you thought I was going to ask you out for Valentine's Day. I didn't know how serious you were about me."

"Oh, so you thought I was some cheap floozy who'd throw himself at any guy who bought him a cup of coffee?"

"Of course not." Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheek. "I could never mistake you for anything but a very high-class floozy." Kurt swatted Blaine's shoulder, but didn't pull away. "Seriously though, I thought you just had a crush on me. It seemed like you got over it pretty quickly."

"What was I supposed to do, beg? You weren't interested."

"It's not that I wasn't interested. I was scared." That wasn't easy to admit, but he was always going to tell the truth to Kurt. "See, I'm not good at being brave. What I'm good at is putting on a show. Not just on stage. After I came to Dalton I figured out that I could act like this cool, confident guy and people would like me. I even managed to fool myself. When I met you, I thought I had everything worked out." Blaine shook his head in disbelief at his former self. "God, I was such a douchebag."

"Don't say that."

"No, it's true," said Blaine. "I was a douchebag."

"I'm not arguing with you, I just don't like that word." Kurt wrinkled his nose. "It's gross."

"Sorry."

Kurt put his head back down on Blaine's shoulder. "Go on, keep telling me about what a terrible person you were."

"Well, you were there. I thought I was totally awesome, and then it all fell apart on me." Blaine sighed. "I felt like the biggest...jerk in the world. Then when you told me you'd been hoping I was going to ask you out I felt like an even bigger jerk than that. I was afraid I couldn't handle a serious relationship, and I knew that with you it was going to be serious. I didn't want to hurt you. It seemed easier to just be friends."

"It was like you forgot all about it. Like I'd never even said anything."

Right now, with Kurt's warm body pressed against his, Kurt's soft hair ticking the side of his face, and Kurt's smooth, long-fingered hand clinging to his sweater, it was difficult for Blaine to remember what he'd been thinking. "I was trying to be Mister Cool again. It was working on everyone but you. You kept getting mad at me, and I just...I wanted you to look at me the way you used to."

"Like a love-struck fool?"

"Like I made you happy. Like you thought I was special."

"You weren't getting enough of that from the Warblers?"

"That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you. It just took me a while to figure it out."

"You are a little too cheerful for a Monday morning," said Tyler.

Blaine continued dancing around the room. "I'm excited. Do you know why?"

"Orlando Bloom finally agreed to go gay for you."

"No, come on, seriously."

"They're serving breakfast burritos in the dining hall."

"That helped, but no." Blaine had already had breakfast. He'd woken up well before his alarm went off, and still had time to kill after completing his usual morning routine.

Tyler, who had been awake for about ten minutes, had his shirt and trousers on but was not yet in full uniform. "Where's my tie?"

"On the back of your chair where you left it last night, you slob." Blaine two-stepped over to Tyler's chair, grabbed the tie, and tossed it to his roommate. "You have one guess left."

"Um, March Madness starts tomorrow."

"No. Three strikes and you're out!" Blaine spun around and clapped his hands. "I've got a new song ready for Regionals, and I'm going to show it to the guys this morning."

"Oh, cool," Tyler said, without the level of excitement Blaine felt the occasion merited.

"Hey, plenty of people at this school would be thrilled to get advance notice of an impromptu Warblers performance. Outside the study lounge right before first period. Be there, or be square."

Blaine grabbed his pile of lyrics and sheet music and bounced out the door. He knew he'd find most of the Warblers in the study lounge before class. Several of them were in on the surprise – he'd been working on some choreography over the weekend with David and a handful of other Warblers who were also boarders – but he was excited to see how the others reacted. They had been working on "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" the week before, but there had been complaints about the song being too dated.

"'Give me a dime so I can phone my mother'? Please. We might as well be singing about the pony express," Nick had said.

Kurt had raised his hand. "I'd like to go on record as disapproving of disco in general."

The genre probably wasn't Kurt's only problem with "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy". Blaine had vowed not to bring up Kurt's discomfort with sex again, but it did seem like some of the lyrics were bothering him. He wasn't having any obvious problems like when they'd been working on "Animal", he just kept looking distracted whenever Blaine sang the chorus. Lines like "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know" were admittedly a bit racy for a show choir performance.

Maroon 5's "Misery" was a recent Top 40 hit and it was sexy without being too explicit, especially if they dropped the second verse. He had been practicing the lead vocals on his own and was pleased with how he sounded. During the secret weekend rehearsals they'd hammered out the basic backing vocals and dance moves. Although Regionals were less than a week away, Blaine could trust the other Warblers to pick things up quickly and turn this into a polished routine in time for the competition. Provided they liked it of course, but Blaine felt confident that everyone was going to prefer this number to "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy".

Blaine made his way across campus and burst into the study lounge as the clock tower finished chiming 8 o'clock. He threw his pile of lyrics and sheet music into the air. These were all the old songs they wouldn't be doing at Regionals, so it was a nice symbolic gesture. Blaine also thought it looked cool. He started singing and the Warblers who were in on the secret joined in before the last pieces of paper had hit the floor. It only took a few seconds for most of the other guys to pick up the song.

Kurt was the chief exception. Not only was he not singing, he actually looked irritated. Blaine hoped he didn't feel left out because he hadn't been involved in the weekend rehearsals. He pulled Kurt from his chair and threw an arm around him as he led the Warblers out into the hall. This made Kurt smile a little, but he still wasn't really singing and seemed eager to sit down on one of the benches in the hallway. Blaine wondered if he didn't know the song. Kurt didn't listen to a lot of contemporary rock music. He did sing along when Blaine hopped onto the bench beside him for the first chorus, so he knew at least some of the words. Blaine hammed it up a bit to make Kurt laugh, and made a mental note to work with him later on the rest of the lyrics.

By then other students had appeared at both ends of the hallway to watch the Warblers perform. Blaine was happy with how the number was going over. Everyone was having a great time, dancing and banging on the tables and walls. Even Kurt finally got up and danced. Blaine had been most concerned about Thad's reaction, since he'd been the one to suggest "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" in the first place, but he really got into it and cheered as loud as anyone when Blaine announced "Hey Regionals? You've just met our new opening number!"

The crowd dispersed quickly after that. Classes would begin in a few minutes. Tyler had made it after all; he gave Blaine a thumbs-up before heading down the hall. Blaine wanted to get Kurt's opinion of the song, and was glad to see he was still gathering up his things. Kurt's Marc Jacobs shoulder bag was a familiar sight, but Blaine spotted a new accessory for Pavarotti's cage.

"How did you manage to find a Burberry-esque canary cage cover?"

"Canaries don't like cold weather," Kurt said, removing the cover. "Especially Pavarotti!" he cooed at the Warblers' mascot. Pavarotti chirped at the sound of his name.

Blaine thought it was cute how Kurt fretted over Pavarotti, but he wasn't really interested in a discussion about the temperature preferences of the domestic canary. "So, what did you think of the song?" he asked.

"Can I be really honest with you? Because it comes from a place of caring? Been there, done that." This was not what Blaine had been hoping to hear. His disappointment and confusion must have shown on his face, because Kurt added "Look, you're amazing Blaine. Your solos are breathtaking."

Blaine ducked his head modestly. That was more like it.
Then the twist of the knife: "They're also numerous." Kurt turned and started to walk away.

"Kurt, the Council decides who gets the solos." Kurt paused and turned back towards Blaine, but he was cooing at Pavarotti again. He didn't even look at Blaine until Blaine pointedly asked "Do I detect a little jealousy?"

"No, you detect a lot of jealousy. Look, Blaine, sometimes I don't feel like we're the Warblers. I feel like we're Blaine and the Pips."

The first period warning bell chimed. Kurt waved at Blaine with his free hand and continued on his way. Blaine stood there in the hallway for a long moment, trying to figure out why he felt like he'd been slapped in the face.

Everything Kurt had said about Blaine's actual singing ability had been favorable, even flattering. He'd freely admitted that he was jealous because Blaine got the most solos. Okay, he hadn't gushed over Blaine's performance that morning the way Blaine had hoped he would, but since when was Kurt's opinion of paramount importance? As he'd just reminded Kurt, the Council decided who got solos, and all members of the Council had seemed thrilled with Blaine's song selection and performance. Heck, all members of the Warblers except Kurt had been thrilled. The crowd gathered around them in the hall had been thrilled.

Why should it matter to Blaine that Kurt had been less than enthusiastic in his praise?

And why on earth should it bother him so much that Kurt had been paying more attention to a bird than he was to Blaine?

Blaine was not going to be jealous of a canary. He was not. It was ridiculous. Blaine knew what was bothering him: Kurt no longer looked up to him the way he used to. He had let himself get too accustomed to Kurt's unreserved admiration. Blaine had wanted their friendship to be more evenly balanced. After his numerous blunders he was done with trying to play the mentor role. He just hadn't expected Kurt to speak to him so bluntly. It was good that Kurt didn't feel the need to candy-coat things for Blaine, though. That was a sign of a healthy friendship. They were still friends. Kurt had even said he cared about Blaine.

As for Kurt's specific complaint about the Council favoring Blaine, the next Warblers meeting provided evidence to the contrary. All Blaine had done was suggest a minor costuming change for Regionals and the meeting had erupted into chaos. Of course this had to happen on the one day Kurt was late. He wondered if Kurt would believe that the majority had been against Blaine on this one. The Warblers had always performed in their Dalton Academy uniforms, and if the Council had their way they always would. If Kurt had been there he would have sided with Blaine. He would have been excited about the prospect of wearing something other than his uniform.

At that moment Kurt walked into the room, wearing something other than his uniform. He was dressed all in black, making him look even paler than usual. He was also crying.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked. Although he wouldn't put it past Kurt to go into mourning over something like the discontinuation of his favorite cologne, Blaine knew Kurt's father had heart problems. It was possible the worst had happened.

"It's Pavarotti," said Kurt, his voice cracking. "Pavarotti's dead. I suspect a stroke."

"Oh my God Kurt, I'm so sorry." Blaine was relieved that Kurt's dad was okay, but the death of the Warblers' mascot was also a tragedy, albeit on a smaller scale. Kurt must have felt terrible about the canary dying while in his care.

"I know it's really stupid to be upset about a bird," Kurt continued. "But he inspired me with his optimism and his love of song. He was my friend."

Blaine was proud to see that none of the Warblers seemed to think Kurt was being stupid. Everyone looked genuinely saddened by the news of Pavarotti's death. Trent looked like he was on the verge of bursting into tears alongside Kurt.

"I know that today we need to practice doo-wopping behind Blaine while he sings every solo in the medley of Pink songs," Kurt looked right at Blaine as he said this. Blaine could have done without that zinger, but in a way it was good to know that Kurt wasn't out of his mind with grief. "But I'd like to sing a song for Pavarotti today."

He pulled a cassette out of his jacket pocket and one of the other guys popped it into the boom box. Blaine briefly wondered where Kurt had found a cassette, he didn't think he'd personally seen another cassette in years, but this thought was pushed out of his mind when Kurt began singing.

Kurt had chosen the Beatles' "Blackbird" as his tribute to Pavarotti. It was a beautiful, classic song, and Kurt sounded beautiful as well. He wasn't trying too hard the way he had at his solo audition back in the fall or camping it up too much as he had when they'd done "Animal" just last week. This was simple, heartfelt, and pure. Blaine started in with backing vocals and the other guys joined in, but this was really only a way of showing support. Kurt's voice would have been enough on its own.

Blaine was confident in his own abilities as a soloist. He knew that he was a good singer and that his performances were entertaining. However, when he was brutally honest with himself he had to admit that his singing often lacked soul. Being a good entertainer was enough for show choirs and theme parks, but a true artist had to be able to express deep emotion. Blaine struggled with this, and it was surprising and humbling to hear Kurt do it with such ease. He was a natural.

As the song continued Blaine glanced around the room at the other guys, wondering if they realized what they were hearing. He's as good as I am. At least as good as I am, but not in the same way. He can do what I cannot. Because the truth was, Blaine had difficulty expressing deep emotion in song because he had difficulty with deep emotion in the first place. Feeling things too deeply was a good way to get hurt. Blaine had been hurt enough. He didn't want to relive it onstage, and he didn't want to repeat it in real life.

Yet he could not keep his eyes off of Kurt, and he could not deny the strange and tender ache in his chest. For what may have been the first time in his life, Blaine was unable to continue singing. He could have told himself that he was concerned about his friend, that he was awed by Kurt's technical ability, and that he felt nothing more than that because it was neither safe nor wise to feel anything more than that. He could have, but he didn't. Blaine was finally through with lying to himself.