November 8th

I’m sorry, Seb

[silence]

Sebastian won’t talk to me

Of course he won’t.

I miss him

Well, you shouldn’t have cheated

[silence]

Seb?

Can I explain?

[silence]

I didn’t want to hurt him

I’m so sorry, Kurt.

Shit, what is my problem?  That was meant for Rachel.  But I guess it applies to you too (unsent)

It’s okay.  It was bound to happen eventually

No, it shouldn’t have happened.

I hate myself for it. (unsent)

But it did.  Even if Wes hadn’t walked in on us, they would have found out

I’m sorry

The kiss shouldn’t have happened.

We shouldn’t have met in person.

It’s only tearing apart your entire life.

And it’s all my fault. (unsent)

I chose to allow us to meet in person

I gave you permission to kiss me

I just wrecked everything for you

I was just being selfish

I feel like I’m dying inside (unsent)

But I should never have even made an attempt.

You’re not wrecking anything.  There isn’t anything to wreck.

I don’t love Wes. (unsent)

I think I’m in love with you. (unsent)

I sent you mixed messages

I love Seb.  I’m confused about my feelings for you (unsent)

Even Rachel is pissed off

This whole thing is futile.

I wish I’d never mistexted you. (unsent)

I’m sorry for everything, Kurt.

I wish I could say that I wanted to take that kiss back. (unsent)

I wish I could take it all back.

I don’t want your explanation

It’s your turn to cook tonight, remember

Screw off, Rachel

Wow, touchy

[silence]

I’m not coming home tonight

Blaine, don’t be sorry.  It obviously meant something to both of us.  I’m just really confused right now

[silence]

Oh god, Seb.  I’m so sorry

[silence]

Blaine, don’t be sorry.  It obviously meant something to both of us.  I’m just really confused right now

Why do I have the feeling that it meant more to me than it did to you? (unsent)

OK

At this point, Blaine is officially broken down into a hysterical crying fit.

Kurt is staring at his phone, just wanting it to be struck out of his hands by lightning because it’s caused him so many problems

I just mistexted again. you know.  Except I sent what I sent to you to Seb, instead, first (unsent)

I don’t know what to do

Yeah.

Blaine, drops his phone down on his bed, where he’s sitting, and falls back into his pillow.

Kurt.  I’m sorry

You shouldn’t be sorry, Seb

No, I’m sorry.  I was a bad bf.  I did bad things.  You needed to find someone better for you.  I’m so sorry

Seb, what are you talking about?

Every time we fought I did bad things

Like what?

You dont’ wana no, Kurtie

Seb, are you drinking?

No, Kurtie, silly baby, I’m not drniking.  Im dronwifn my soeeows

Where are you?

You cant’ no.  I’m gonna do a bad thin

Seb, WHERE ARE YOU?

[silence]

Blaine, I’m worried about Seb

Rachel, I’m worried about Seb

I’m not talking to you

He’s drinking

I’ll meet you at Starbucks and we’ll start from there

Blaine gets the sobbing out of his system, and suddenly realizes just how long Wes has been gone, sitting up and finding his phone, which is shoved under the blankets near the bottom of the bed.

I’m not sure I can help you with that. (unsent)

Why?

Wes?

You’ve been gone for hours.  Where are you?

I know I’m a jerk, just let me know you’re alive.

Shove it, Anderson.

Fair enough.

Remember when I got really upset because you were drinking?

Um, yeah.  How could I forget?

It was because Seb almost got killed a few years back after getting himself drunk.  It’s a touchy subject for the two of us and Rachel

But he’s drinking tonight.  He drunk texted me

I don’t care about Sebastian. (unsent)

Do you know where he is?

No.  Rachel and I are working our way through all of the bars in the area but we haven’t found him yet

I can’t believe I’m considering this. (unsent)

Do you need any help?

Please

Where are you?

Just leaving Callbacks, we’ll wait

I’ll be there shortly.

Getting up, Blaine throws some shoes on, and his peacoat, fixing his hair as best he can before quickly heading out the door and down to the street.  He walks fast, and is at Callbacks in less than ten minutes, pausing outside the door.

Kurt and Rachel come out, Kurt not having told Rachel that Blaine was coming.

“Hey Blaine.”

“What the hell is he doing here?”

“I asked him to help.  We have to find Seb before he does something stupid.”

“I, uh, I can’t find Wes either.  I asked him where he was, and he told me to shove it.”

“Great, two missing people?  I’m never going to get home tonight, am I?”

“Rachel, stop it.  So, we have Seb and Wes.  Any clues as to where Wes may be?”

“There’s a really divey bar a few blocks down that I’ve heard him talk about before.  I’ve never gone inside though.  I feel like I’d be eaten alive in there.  It’s this way.”

Blaine heads down the street, checking to see if Kurt and Rachel are following, but doesn’t meet eyes with Kurt the entire time.

Kurt and Rachel exchange a glance before following after Blaine, Rachel shooting him dirty looks and Kurt looking down.

Blaine stays silent as he walks, wishing he could just take back the past two weeks and start over.  It’s not long before he comes to a stop in front of a darkened window with a neon sign for Natural Ice hanging there.  Loud talking is coming from inside, and Blaine hesitates.

“J.D.’s.  This is it.”

“This place looks horrible.”
“I have to agree with Rachel, here.  You sure Wes is in here?”

“If he wants to be away from me, he’s here.  I’ve always told him how I hate this place.  It’s the only place I know of that he’d be.”

Kurt shrugs and takes a couple of steps towards the door, hesitating when the loud talking continues.

“Do you think it’s safe?”

Blaine finally looks to Kurt, his heart on his sleeve.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.  I promise.”

Kurt gives a small smile, still a bit frantic with worry about Sebastian.  Rachel is a litttle more apprehensive, but once she realizes that she would be left alone outside, she decides to come in with them.

“Thanks.”

Trying to remember that they’re here to find Kurt’s boyfriend, Blaine looks away from Kurt, and pulls the door open to enter the dive bar.  He shows the dirty guy at the door his id, and steps in, trying to keep a tough-looking face.  Wes isn’t at the actual bar, and he’s not shooting pool.  Blaine doesn’t see Sebastian either, but notices an open doorway into another section of the bar.  He heads in that direction, barely casting a glance behind him to make sure that Kurt and Rachel are okay.

Kurt follows in after Blaine and shows his id, fully aware that he looks a bit younger than he actually is.  Rachel follows behind Kurt, showing her id and staying as close to Kurt as possible, nervous.  The best friends follow after Blaine, looking around for Sebastian as they go

Blaine goes through the doorway and past a group of inconsiderate people, laughing too loudly, that are standing right in the door.  Another smaller bar is on this side, a door leading outside, and a door that’s cracked just the tiniest bit.  Looking around, Blaine doesn’t see Wes or Sebastian, but suddenly hears what he thinks is Wes’s voice.

“I fucking HATE you, Smythe.”

Kurt and Rachel follow, sticking together, but when they hear the voice, both tense.  Both whisper.

“Was that... that Wes guy?”

“I think so.  And he said Smythe... that means Seb’s here as well... Blaine, what do you think?”

Blaine frowns, knowing that it was Wes.  And, the tone Wes had used was a little unsettling, causing Blaine to pause.

“Yeah, that was definitely him... And he definitely said Smythe.”

“What’s going on in there?”

Kurt almost doesn’t want to know, based on how Wes’ voice had sounded.

Blaine hesitates, glancing at Rachel, but not Kurt, and steps toward the door, afraid, but brave enough to peek in.  As soon as he does, he stumbles backward.

“Nothing, Kurt let’s go.”

“What is it, Blaine?”

Rachel frowns and steps forward, taking a peek in after Blaine, curious.  When she sees what’s going on, she blanches.

“Blaine’s right.  It’s nothing.”

“Fuck you, Montgomery!”

“That was Seb.  Something’s going on.  I’m have to look after him, he’s drunk.”
“Kurt, no!”

“Kurt, don’t!”

Blaine is afraid to reach out for Kurt, so he instead, waves his hands in front of him, as if to say no.

“That’s not how this works.  You do what I say.”

“I’m sorry, Wes, I’ll be good, promise,”

Kurt ignores both Rachel and Blaine, looking in and nearly faints away.

“Let’s get out of here.  Now.”

Blaine nods and turns to leave the way they came in.

“This way.”

“Damn right you’ll be good. So.. good.”

Once the trio have left the bar completely.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Kurt...”

Blaine goes to hold his arms out for Kurt, but stops, bringing them back to his sides.  Having no idea what to say, he looks to Rachel for an idea.

Rachel looks just as lost, and like she’s going to be sick also.  Shooting Blaine a look, she steps forward and hugs Kurt, holding him tightly.

Blaine realizes then that he is supposed to be upset about what he saw, too.  He isn’t in the slightest, but instead focuses on Kurt.

“I’m sorry, Kurt.”

“Don’t be.  It’s not your fault.”

Blaine kind of just stands there, awkwardly to the side, wishing that he hadn’t brought Kurt here at all.  

“I shouldn’t have brought you here.  I should have stayed home.  Then you wouldn’t have to hurt like this.”

“At least I know where he is now.  If you hadn’t come, Rach and I would still be wandering the streets, looking in every bar we saw.”

Rachel nods and sighs.

“We owe you, Blaine.  As much as I don’t want to admit it.”

Blaine’s face gives it away that he feels guilty.

“So, you got here faster.  Are you happy with what you found?”

“No.  But I found him.  Regardless of what he was doing, I know he’s there.  I was worried he’d be lying on the side of the road somewhere”

“I guess that’s what’s important.  Listen, are you guys okay to get back?  I kind of want to go home.”

“We’ll be fine.  Come on, Kurt.”

“Thanks again, Blaine.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Blaine turns and heads down the street, disappearing around the nearest corner.  As soon as he’s out of sight of Kurt and Rachel, he, forgetting about his already broken knuckles and bandaged hand, pounds his fist on the side of a covered bus stop, and letting out a pitiful yelp, keeps going in the direction to his apartment.