Blaine pulled away from Kurt's sinful lips with a deep sigh, letting out days of unrest and incompleteness. He pulled him away from the counter, gripping him tight in his arms as he nipped and kissed at Kurt's neck. "I missed you" Blaine whispered, voice rough and husky from disuse "I missed you so much."

"Your own-n fault Blaine" Kurt managed to stutter with tears threatening to fall anew. His voice was strained and bitter and Blaine pulled his head up immediately to see his eyes. "I-I"

"I haven't slept Blaine, for three days. Barely eaten a scrap, Rachel was practically contemplating a force feeding. I didn't go to school, or work. I ruined sketches, my own personal sketches. I cried until my throat was raw and my eyes were burning." Kurt paused, his hands framing Blaine's face as he watched in misery as those beautiful honey eyes swirled with guilt and sadness and fear. "You've ruined me, because you- I- we love so much."

Blaine's breath was shaky as he stared at Kurt's face, drawn with eyes puffy and bloodshot but still the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. If there's one thing they both knew it was that when Blaine felt guilty that guilt crippled him, he made bad decisions, following fool's errands and making rookie mistakes. But he knew he was to blame, he also knew that Kurt wanted him in his life so he had to make things right.

"I love you so much I couldn't think straight knowing that you might've not ever come back. I barely slept, and when I did th-the nightmares came back and god Kurt you were there with me and Jake and I couldn't I woke up sweating, crying and shaking every time, throwing up from the detox and the images of you and-" Blaine paused panting and trying to swallow back sobs. He was rigid in Kurt's hold but that only made him clutch a little tighter, listening to every word. "Didn't eat, the programme is hell without you, Trace and ‘opening up'. Cooper heard it all, crying and screaming and eventually I shut everything down, Trace, Cooper, recovery. I can't do it without you Kurt; I can't even function, not anymore."

Kurt let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It had been so easy to be bitter, to be angry, even when he discovered that Blaine thought that what he'd done was best for Kurt, to keep Kurt safe and happy. Because the truth was that without Blaine, Kurt was even more of a danger to himself than Blaine could ever be to him.

Kurt curled his fingers through Blaine's hair, carding through the soft curls in movements so familiar it was easy to think they had been forged through years together and not a couple of months. Blaine's eyes fluttered closed, sighing with cherry red bruised lips parted on every breath, sinful and seraphic, a contradiction that was so very Blaine. "I'm so sorry" Blaine breathed, eyelashes brushing against his flushed cheeks and his tongue darting out to wet his lips "Kurt, you've ruined me too."

Blaine looked so vulnerable like that. So open, stripped of every façade and barrier that prevented him from being as close to Kurt as possible. That's when it hit him, it was Blaine giving them what they needed, trusting Kurt to know what's right with him and by him. Blaine was giving himself to Kurt, his love, his trust, his confidence, unconditionally, unequivocally and irrevocably.

.oO0Oo.

With the knowledge that Blaine, who had been closed off and drowning in his own mind for so many years, was finally so free and open Kurt was made breathless. The relief washed over him like soft waves against the shore, steady and undulating but making way for exhaustion to crash down in its recession. In the moments after those hoarse whispered confessions Kurt felt just as vulnerable as Blaine so clearly looked. It both frightened and thrilled him, to be so fragile in Blaine's arms, to let him hold him and soothe the past few days away with each caress and kiss and reverent praise.

Tired yet aching for more they moved slow, floating and wound tight, fingers interlocked as they moved towards the bedroom. There was no plan, no agenda, the room serving as something of a safe haven even after Blaine's episode in the very same bed. For Blaine, though marred slightly, the room meant sanctuary, where Kurt had kept him so safe and so loved even in slumber. And of course the first night, where his past was relived and his soul laid bare to the only one who he could ever love enough to allow himself to do so.

The room was cold but the heat rises and the need became all too much. Very similar to one of Kurt's romance novel-esque dreams, Blaine was confronted with whimsical imagery, something that seemed so cliché but had become his life. A waking dream of his boyfriend, best friend, lover, soul mate, laid bare for him naked and pale and glowing iridescent on crimson linens backlit by the moon filtering through high arch windows. Blaine was used to rugged reality, the push and shove of a dirty world, of squalid excuses for humanity, struggles for sanity and the suffocating fight for survival. Kurt was another world, bright and sensual and bursting at the seams with hope and love and laughter. Though rationality would call it unhealthy, bordering on perverse even, there was no greater object or being or deity that Blaine would rather worship than Kurt.

He felt it like the rush that accompanied free falling, like the spark that ignites the fire, like electrical currents or the flow of blood through his veins. Desperate and wanting, needing, to give give give, and take what Kurt wanted to offer in return. Though he'd do it all, everything and anything for nothing if that's what he needed. And maybe that made him, stupid and weak or naive but he was in love with his world and he couldn't bring himself to care.

The first press of palm to skin was like the final piece of him. Slotting into place and fitting so perfectly with Kurt that it still struck him how surreal it was that he was right for Kurt, in every which way imaginable. Blaine pressed himself close, eyes never leaving Kurt for a second. His calloused hands moved slowly, stroking over clavicle, and chest, abdominals and thighs, brushing and pulling and gripping at him. He was reunited with a Kurt, so undone, so raw and powerful that it took his breath away. Every reverent touch of his cool fingertips to Blaine's heated skin, every sigh and mewl and whimper, every bruise sucked deep into his sun kissed flesh and every ghost of lips against his own sent him spiralling.

Blaine took his time, there was no inclination to make his touch or his kisses into something more but as minutes ticked past and every inch was almost explored the air shifted. Subtle, almost imperceptible but thrumming just below the surface. It was still overwhelming; that sex with Kurt wasn't just sex and despite his better judgement the first time Blaine was scared it could be just another fuck. Blaine's doubts about Kurt plagued him ruthlessly, despite being in love and trusting him more than anyone else in the world there was still that instinct to pull away, to be wary and suspicious. With those doubts dissipating it made being with Kurt increasingly intense, burning and cresting with every thought and feeling and with pleasure insurmountable.

Kurt rolled against him, blue eyes wild and pleading and Blaine knew exactly what he needed. He shifted up towards the headboard and leant his back against it. Kurt was in his lap immediately, fingers curled in Blaine's hair as he rocked his ass back against him, groaning and trying to convey what he wanted without even needing to. Kurt was grappling with the botched up nightstand before Blaine had even gathered his wits enough to think about the prep. To Blaine's surprise Kurt squirted the lube onto his own fingers, coating them with the liquid, shifting back and rising up, holding eye contact with a panting Blaine as he bought his hand back, body arching as his index finger circled the rim and pushed in quickly.

Blaine did everything he could to worship the man in his lap. Rough fingers curling around Kurt's cock as he prepared himself, a hand pressed to the small of his back, holding him up as he arched into every kiss and ghost of a touch with moans and whimpers. So supple, lean and flexible. Blaine wanted to touch him everywhere, smooth slick skin and shifting muscle. He placed hot open mouthed kisses across his neck, his chest, his stomach, sucking bruises into pulse points and nipping at his collar bone and rib cage. Ignoring the ache in his groin he licked across Kurt's body, Kurt slamming down on the three fingers inside him and crying out as Blaine's tongue circled a pebbled nipple.

A flare of pleasure and Kurt removed his fingers, climbing into Blaine's lap and wrapping his legs around his waist. He crushed their lips together as he brought his hand down to stroke Blaine's cock beneath him, tongues tangling, slick and rough as Blaine groaned into his mouth and thrust up into his fist. "Condom?" Kurt shook his head "wanna feel you" he whispered desperately against Blaine's lips. He nodded frantically, resting his forehead against Kurt's and shutting his eyes tight. "I love you" "I love you too."

Kurt lowered himself onto Blaine slowly, so slowly letting out a soft groan at the perfect stretch and burn. He would never get over the feeling of Blaine inside him, filling him, feeling him pulse and throb. Kurt fell forward a little, burying his face in Blaine's neck and breathing heavily, almost sobbing with relief and nails and fingertips fighting to find purchase on his sweat slick shoulders. Blaine had wrapped himself around him, arms circling his waist and hands clutching at his sides. "Gorgeous" he choked out "so f-fucking gorgeous Kurt and you can't even see it". Kurt keened, swivelling his hips and breathing raggedly against Blaine's neck, his body pressed so tightly that his cock rubbed against him, smearing precum on his taut abdomen.

Kurt rose up, Blaine's cock sliding out to the tip before slamming back down hard, pleasure shooting through him. He set a frantic pace, swivelling his hips and slamming down time and time again, grazing that spot inside him almost every time. Groans and moans, tumbled from him unabashedly, his body pulled taut and tense. Blaine's hands gripped hard at his hips, leaving fingertip bruises and guiding him with every thrust of his own. "O-oh shit, fuck Kurt!" He grunted, snapping his hips up into Kurt with more force, trying to hold back. Growing closer, he threaded his fingers into Kurt's damp hair, pulling him back gently, lips barely meeting. "S-so good baby, fuck ah ah". Blaine crashed their lips together, claiming Kurt in a kiss dirty and deep and perfect.

Blaine slammed up into him ceaselessly, hands clutching and grabbing at him every where as Kurt made high keening "ah ah ah" sounds into his mouth. He tore away from him, throwing his head back, eyes tight shut. All at once Kurt's body tensed, clamping down around Blaine as he started to come. He rode it out, still grinding frantically as he came in thick ropes, smearing against both his and Blaine's stomachs. He opened his eyes, vision swimming and light headed close to losing himself when Blaine keened, fucking keened, and his cock pulsed, coming hot and wet inside him.

Blaine slumped back against the headboard, pulling Kurt in and running gentle hands all over him. "Hey" he said, voice hushed and affectionate with a small sated smile gracing his lips "You okay?" Kurt nodded, blinking slowly and pushing wet curls from Blaine's forehead. He leaned in to kiss him and squeaked as Blaine shifted, still inside him. "Yeeeeah that's gotta be pretty gross" Blaine chuckled, scrunching his nose and moving to roll them over so he could pull out. "No" Kurt said quickly, holding on to Blaine's bicep and blushing when he raised an eyebrow. "I mean yeah it is kinda gross but can we stay, like this, for a little while?"

Blaine had to hide a slight wince already starting to become oversensitive but he grinned and nodded "Of course" he muttered, kissing him again. They were both content to stay closely entwined, not quite ready to let go yet.