Sept. 9, 2013, 9:17 a.m.
A Picture for a Poet: Chapter 16
E - Words: 2,019 - Last Updated: Sep 09, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/21 - Created: Nov 16, 2012 - Updated: Sep 09, 2013 140 0 0 0 1
The rush through ER was a blur and Kurt couldn't really remember much of the initial ten or so minutes after he and the paramedics guiding Blaine's gurney had entered the hospital. He was still unconscious, wheeled into surgery as doctors spoke to each other loudly and concisely, something about bleeding and broken ribs and an acute head wound that Kurt didn't quite understand in his disorientated state. Standing almost frozen in the middle of ED he watched as an awake Maggie was wheeled through the doors, an oxygen mask covering her deathly pale face. She reached a hand out towards him and for the first time in all the months he'd known her he saw her terrified, hazy bloodshot eyes welling with tears as her mouth moved behind the mask; words he couldn't hear or decipher.
He watched, feeling his own tears drip onto his shirt, blending with the small splatters of blood that had found their way there as he'd clung to Blaine's own blood stained palm. It's not as if he didn't think these kind of things happened in New York, he knew people got robbed on a daily basis around the world. He just didn't think it would happen to them. When he'd left Blaine that morning he didn't wonder that maybe the next time he'd see him would be bruised, bloodied and broken lying prone and being rushed to hospital. But who ever did?
He waited in agony for hours, alternating between staring at the blank, clinically white walls or the waiting room and pacing the room, bothering the staff and receptionists endlessly. Time didn't seem to pass and if it did it was doing so at a crawl, the hands of the clock moving slowly, each tick echoing with finality above the din, the blur of never ending activity.
Nurses rushed by him and every time he hoped that they'd stop in front of him and tell him something, anything. A blonde nurse smiled at him softly every time she passed but she never stopped. Until she did. After quickly asking the receptionist she strode straight toward him, kind hazel eyes and a soft smile suddenly focussed on him. "Mister Hummel?" she asked and Kurt nodded his head, mouth full of cotton and his throat dry. "Ms Atkinson says she'd like to see you." She grinned but Kurt couldn't return her smile, his face still a blank canvas of shock and worry. When she received no reply the nurse simply asked him to follow her and led him to Maggie's room.
"Kurt oh my god!" Maggie called as he stepped into the room and within an instant the tears begun to fall anew. "Maggie! How are- God are you okay I mean-"
"Hush child." She said quietly her own beautiful green eyes welling with tears as she took his hand. "Have you- how is Blaine?" Kurt stared down at their hands and took in a shuddering breath. "Last I heard he was in surgery. I- I haven't seen him since-"
"Okay." Maggie breathed as she squeezed his hand "He's going to be okay."
"God Mags I'm-" Kurt began.
"In love with him? I know sweetie. But now is the time to be there for him, and now's the time to tell him."
~*~
Everything hurt. His head pounded and his arms felt like lead. There was a pain in his chest that stung and scraped at his insides with every move he made. He wanted to open his eyes but it felt as if they were too heavy. Slipping in and out of his deep sleep was tormenting but sleep was blissful, no sharp pain above his eyes and no aching limbs. Sleep was peaceful but he longed to be able to move again, to hear and speak and see but it was okay because sleep was good.
The next time he awoke the pain was duller, still present but hazier. He could hear someone's gentle voice, speaking softly, high and melodic and if he had been in any other state of mind he would've quite liked to fall asleep to its beautiful sound. The sound made him smile and his eyelashes flutter.
"‘She was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth. Her romantic mind was like the tiny boxes, one within the other, that come from the puzzling East, however many you discover there is always one more; and her sweet mocking mouth had one kiss on it that Wendy could never get, though there it was, perfectly conspicuous in the right-hand corner.'" The voice spoke as if reading from a book, lilting with expression and quiet enjoyment. Kurt was reading to him, Kurt was there. Finally.
Blaine's eyes opened and he moved his head slowly to gaze at Kurt sitting in the armchair by his bedside. A small smile graced his lips, lifting them in the right-hand corner of his mouth. "Hey" he whispered. Kurt snapped his head up and let the book fall to the floor. "Hey." He choked out in reply. He leant forward to take Blaine's hand. Blaine winced as his IV was jostled but ignored it in favour of weakly squeezing Kurt's hand. He ached to reach out and brush the tears from Kurt's cheeks but the slightest movement made the pain flare. "Don't cry baby please." Blaine implored looking up at him helplessly. "Don't cry? Fuck Blaine I thought I'd lost you I-"
"You're never gonna lose me Kurt." Blaine said his voice cracking as his own tears began to fall "I'm never saying goodbye to you."
"But you-"
"I was scared a-and I didn't trust you like I should have, I should have tried to talk things out with you and-" Blaine continued, breath hitching his heaving chest causing his head to pound and his ribs to scream in protest.
"Shh shh it's okay calm down." Kurt said gently, pushing Blaine back into the pillows and urging him to breathe "None of that matters now Blaine none of it. I almost lost you. I was wrong okay I was wrong I don't need time to think I've always known it's just you it's always been you."
"Kurt... What are you saying?"
"Blaine... There is a moment when you say to yourself-"
"Oh there you are! I've been looking for you forever!"
"Cooper?"
~*~
"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked incredulously, trying to sit up but giving up when he had to bite his lip against the pain. "Oh B I'm still your emergency contact. I flew in from LA a couple hours ago." Cooper replied, brow furrowing. "Scared the shit out of me when I got that phone call kid." Although Cooper and Blaine didn't see or hear from each other often they were good brothers. They looked out for each other when their parents often turned a blind eye.
"I'm fine." Blaine muttered petulantly, still clutching Kurt's hand.
"Yeah that's what you said the last time I got a call. Three years ago in Ohio."
"Don't Cooper." He said tiredly and his head lolled back towards Kurt, who smiled softly and brushed the curls off of his bandaged forehead. "I think we should let him rest." He whispered as Blaine's eyelids began to droop. "Of course." Cooper muttered, taking a seat in the chair on the other side of the bed and holding his other hand. Blaine fell asleep to the sound of Kurt's voice and the feel of his brother's forehead pressed against the back of his hand.
~*~
"So you must be Kurt." Cooper muttered as he leant heavily against the vending machine, one hand rubbing at his tired eyes whilst the other clutched his coffee. Kurt's eyes widened in shock "Blaine's spoken to you about me?"
"Well yeah," Cooper shrugged "not often I mean we're both busy guys." He gave Kurt a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. It made him wonder about the real reason they didn't talk often and if that strange look in his stormy eyes was something akin to remorse and sadness amalgamated into one overwhelming feeling of helplessness.
"He get's this thing, it's something in his voice- when he talks about you. It's like you hung the moon or something. I've never heard him talk like that before." Cooper added, unbeknownst to Kurt's quiet curiosity. "Talk like what?" Kurt asked.
"Like this is it for him. Whatever you two have or had. That's it."
"I don't-" Kurt started, shrinking under Cooper's scrutinising gaze. This was Blaine's brother, the only member of his family that he seemed even remotely close to. They meant a lot to each other. How was he supposed to tell Cooper how much he's hurt his little brother and explain how he still dared to be in love with him? "I've been an asshole. But now-now I-I need to tell him, even if he doesn't want anything to do with me. After what happened I just- I need him to know."
Cooper nodded. "I probably shouldn't tell you this but-" he hesitated, "he does trust you, at least enough for this." So Cooper told Kurt about a younger Blaine, about his fight through high school. They sat on the uncomfortable off white plastic chairs right outside Blaine's room and talked. Cooper didn't hold back his tears when he told Kurt about the last time he'd seen his brother in hospital and neither did Kurt as he listened. Listened to Cooper tell him about how Blaine was bullied because he was gay and in art club. Listened as he was told the tale of a boy who went to a school dance with his crush only to end up bleeding and unconscious on the asphalt of the parking lot. He clenched his jaw as heard that his parents' reaction was to simply ship him off to private school and ignore it all. All of this, he realised, had only happened no more than 4 years ago.
Suddenly Kurt felt as if he knew nothing of Blaine or his life. He had never thought to ask, content to get to know him via his mannerisms, his likes and dislikes rather than through his past. For Kurt knowing what it meant when Blaine smiled at him just so or why he'd brought a particular mug in his strangely varied collection was enough. To know how his voice sounded, rough and slurring, when he fell asleep, tired and sated. He knew him well but subsequently not well enough.
For so long he'd been scared of his own demons clawing at his coat tails. But he knew nothing of Blaine's, who despite it all still managed to love so honestly and so completely. How did Kurt ever think he could do anything but the same?
"The paramedic said he was a fighter," Kurt said after Cooper had fallen silent, "and that's truer than I could've ever imagined."
Cooper excused himself and went back to Blaine's room. Kurt watched quietly as the man hugged his brother gingerly and the look of surprise and joy on Blaine's face was enough to reassure him for the time being. He watched them for a while, a teary smile tugging at his lips and he covered his mouth against his laugh as a rosy blush bloomed on Blaine's unnaturally pale skin, obviously a result of his brother's teasing. Blaine heard his laugh and smiled over at him, beckoning him to join them. He declined with a shake of his head, smiling as he turned and walked out into the hallway. He contemplated going to tell Maggie that Blaine was awake but he thought better of it seeing as it was late and she was most likely resting.
Making his way outside he took a deep breath, the air of the city almost cleansed by the plummeting rain. The rain soaked his shirt, clinging to his grime covered skin and he felt alive. Surrounded by death and anguish and worry, joy, relief. He had a family here, and however hard it had been, whatever mistakes they'd made; he thought that just maybe they might make it through. The rain washed it all away. And after the rain, after the dark and uncertain night dawns a new day. A new day to keep on living.