Kurt walked into the choir room the next day and took his usual seat in the back next to Santana. "So, how was your night?" she said, suggestively nudging him in the side.

"Eh, same old, same old," Kurt said with a shrug, brushing it off the way he was supposed to. Truth was, though, every night Kurt spent with Sebastian was amazing because he loved his boyfriend and he knew that Sebastian loved him. But as a Cheerio, he had to play it off like he didn't care because – as Coach Sue said – showing emotion of any kind was a sign of weakness.

"You did get some, though, right?" Santana, always wanting the gory details, pressed.

"Don't I always?" Kurt replied, flashing her a million-watt smile.

"Wait…" Kurt's stepbrother Finn said, turning around in his seat to look at Kurt. "You were at Sebastian's house?"

"Uh… yeah. He's the only one I'm getting any from, Finn. I'm not a slut." And he wasn't. For all his talk, Sebastian was the only guy Kurt had ever had sex with.

"But you told Burt you were at Santana's house."

Kurt rolled his eyes in that way that both Santana and Sebastian swore should be copyrighted. "That's why we call it lying, Finnocene," he said, using the nickname Santana had bestowed upon him when the two of them had found out he was still a virgin (Kurt was assuming the nickname still rang true because Finn's girlfriend Rachel Berry was more frigid than the school's OCD guidance counselor Miss Pillsbury).

"But you know Burt doesn't like Sebastian."

Kurt sighed. He hated being reminded of the fact that his father, despite the fact that they'd been seeing each other exclusively for almost seven months, still didn't trust Sebastian. He said it was because Sebastian wasn't what he'd envisioned for Kurt's first boyfriend, which made absolutely no sense. So he didn't want Kurt to be with a guy who loved him and cared for him and looked at him like there was no one else in the world? Well, that was too bad because as much as Kurt loved his father, he loved Sebastian, too, and Kurt was going to keep him around for as long as Sebastian would have him.

"Hence the lying," Santana drawled slowly, as if she were speaking to a toddler. "So just turn around, Frankenteen, and mind your own business." Anyone else would have immediately turned around under the twin gazes of Kurtana (as the duo had been dubbed) but Finn was one of the few they didn't have complete control over. But he eventually faltered and turned around in his seat as Mr. Schuester walked in, talking about Sectionals and how they needed to start talking about a set list. Kurt was only half-paying attention because he knew their only real competition would be the Warblers (Sebastian's team) at Regionals.

Then, halfway through class, Principal Figgins walked into the choir room. "Sorry, William," he said in his thick Indian accent. "But I need to see Kurt Hummel in my office."

All eyes turned to Kurt as he grabbed his bag and followed Principal Figgins out into the hallway. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"Watch your tone, Mr. Hummel," Figgins warned. Kurt ignored him. They walked in silence until they reached the principal's office and saw three different people waiting for them.

"Coach Sue?" Kurt questioned, turning to the one person he knew would give him a straight answer. "What's going on?"

"Hell if I know, Porcelain," she replied. "Mind letting us in on the secret, Figgins? I have a phone interview in ten minutes."

"Ms. Carr has brought it to my attention that Mr. Hummel hasn't been doing any of his work." Well, of course he hasn't. Between Cheerios, glee club, and – you know – having a life, there really wasn't a lot of time in his schedule to analyze Hawthorne or whoever.

"So?" Coach Sue said. "I'm sure he doesn't need whatever useless skill she teaches." That's why Kurt loved Coach Sue so much – sometimes she was the only one who really understood him.

"So you're saying he doesn't need reading comprehension skills?" Ms. Carr retorted, glaring at Coach Sue, which was a bold move on the new teacher's part.

"Porcelain… what do you want to do with your life?"

"Fashion design," Kurt said promptly. Even though he had to wear his uniform to school every day, Kurt loved clothes. He liked the way an outfit could tell a lot about a person. Like, Rachel's screamed that she was more of a virgin than Mary. Or how Sebastian wore his clothes like he knew they made him look good.

But, anyway, back to the situation at hand…

"See? He doesn't need to be able to read in order to make clothes for the girls and the gays in the world."

"Even so," Ms. Carr said. "The fact remains that Kurt is failing my class and I can't in good conscience pass him just because he's on the Cheerios." Oh, so someone had explained the rules to her. "If Kurt doesn't get an A on the midterm, I'm going to have to fail him."

"What?" Kurt exploded. "But… I can't have an F! Coach Sue – do something!"

Coach Sue looked at Figgins and said something that sounded a lot like she was blackmailing him. "Enough, Sue," he said crossly. "Ms. Carr is right. If Mr. Hummel doesn't start passing her class, he is going to fail and then he'll be off the Cheerios."

Those were the magic words. Kurt couldn't be kicked off the Cheerios – he'd worked too long and too hard to get where he was and no one, especially not some dumbass teacher, was going to take that away from him.

"Okay," he sighed. "What do you need me to do? Just do the work?"

"And get an A on the midterm," Ms. Carr added.

"But…" and here Kurt faltered. He didn't want to admit the truth – that he was stupid. "I –I just don't understand anything."

His teacher smiled at him like she'd expected him to say that. "That's why I got you a tutor." She indicated the other person in the room, who had been sitting silently thus far.

Blaine Anderson.

Nerdy Blaine Anderson whom Kurt could not be seen with unless he wanted to tank his reputation. "No," he said automatically.

"Kurt, Blaine's transcript is impeccable. He's on the fast track to graduating early and I think he's the best person to help you out." She looked at Blaine, who nodded in confirmation.

There was no way Kurt was going to be tutored by the lowest of the low. "My boyfriend is top of his class at Dalton Academy over in Westerville. He can tutor me." Which basically meant that he would get Sebastian to do all of his assignments and explain what he'd need for tests and exams.

"Blaine's agreed to report back to me so I know that you're actually working. As smart as your boyfriend is, I think it's safe to assume that he won't agree to the same thing. Am I right?" Kurt said nothing because he knew she had him there. Ms. Carr nodded knowingly. "Mhmm. That's what I thought. So either Blaine tutors you or you fail."

Kurt looked at the boy again. He was definitely the cliché definition of geek with his glasses and bowties – someone that Santana would tear into like a lion would tear into an antelope. But if Kurt's grade and his position on the Cheerios depended on him, he'd figure something out.

"Fine."

They talked about a few more things that Kurt didn't care about before they were allowed to leave. Kurt left with Coach Sue, her hand clamped hard on his shoulder.

"Listen, Porcelain. I know this kid is the nerdy cousin of Frodo Baggins and has probably never left the Shire before now, but I need you to deal with him." She put a finger on his Adam's apple, keeping a firm grip on his shoulder with her other hand. "You have these magical pipes that I can't afford to lose. So don't screw this up."

"Yes, Coach," he said, dutiful Cheerio that he was. Sue nodded curtly before turning and walking down the hall, her sneakers squeaking on the linoleum.

Kurt stood there for a minute, the fact that he might get kicked off the Cheerios finally sinking in. He couldn't be off the squad – that uniform protected him, made him feared and respected instead of taunted and harassed.

"Kurt?" a voice behind him – a voice he definitely did not want to hear at that moment – said.

"What?" he snapped, turning to glare at Blaine Anderson.

"I just wanted to see when you wanted to start studying. I'm free whenever." Of course he was – kid probably had no friends, which obviously meant no social life.

Unlike Kurt.

"I have practice after school today and then tomorrow's Friday which means I have places to be." Not that this kid would know anything about going out on a Friday night.

"Okay," Blaine said and Kurt was suddenly reminded of a kicked puppy. "Well… just let me know."

He started to walk away and, for reasons Kurt will never be able to explain, he jogged to catch up with. "Hey, wait." Blaine stopped and looked at him. "Meet me at the Lima Bean at noon on Saturday. You know where the Lima Bean is, right?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Good. And if you're even one minute late, I'm leaving because I have more important things to do than spend time with you. Got it?"

"G-Got it.'

"Good," Kurt said again, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder and shoved past Blaine, making his way to his next class.

Sometimes it was good to be a bitch.