March 9, 2013, 1:01 p.m.
Some Things Are Uncontrollable: Detention
E - Words: 1,840 - Last Updated: Mar 09, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Aug 13, 2012 - Updated: Mar 09, 2013 584 0 4 0 0
"Kurt!" I turned around to find Rachel standing next to my locker as I was busily searching for all of the books that I was going to need for homework that night.
"What Rachel?" I was obviously not in the mood to hear what she was going to say since I already knew what it was about by the tone of her voice.
"What the hell happened in English? I saw you and Blaine talking and then out of nowhere, you punched him! That isn't like you. At all, Kurt."
"Rachel. It wasn't out of nowhere. He deserved it, okay. He has been making my life miserable ever since he came to school here. All I want is a normal Senior Year and I thought that was something that I might have been able to get, but I was wrong and I was pissed and he pushed me too far and..." Before I realized it, there were tears flowing heavily down my cheeks and Rachel was quickly pulling me into one of her hugs.
"I know Kurt. You have been through hell and back. I just...you aren't one to lash out like that. I mean, sure, you always have the proper come backs, but you never, ever, use violence."
"I don't know...what...came over me..." I sniffled, wiping my eyes, hoping that maybe they weren't too puffy and my face wasn't too red as I pulled away from Rachel's grasp.
"You are gonna have to control it, okay. I don't want this for you. I want you to be happy, but you are going to have to make yourself happy, it isn't just going to come to you, especially now that Blaine is here."
"I know. Now, if you will excuse me, I have detention to attend." I closed my locker, wiping my eyes one last time and turning my back to Rachel.
I took a deep breath as I walked down the hall. I was hoping that Blaine wasn't going to be there. I knew that he would be though. Just the thought of him made my stomach turn. I couldn't imagine what tomorrow was going to be like. I'm sure it is going to be a hundred times worse once Azimio and the rest of the football team find out. I'll be shoved into lockers, thrown in the dumpsters, countless slushies being thrown in my face. Imaginging the ice dripping down my shirt, sliding down my pants, finding ways into places that slushie should never be, made me shiver.
Before I knew it, I was standing face to face with the door to Room 303. The plaque on the door reading, Detention.
I considered peaking throught the small square window towards the top of the door so that I would know if Blaine was in there or not. I decided against it, figuring that if he was and he happened to see me, he would think that I was staring at him and that might be the one thing that would be able to make this situation even worse for me.
I held my breath and for the first time in my life, whispered a quick prayer to the magic teapot in the sky asking that Blaine not be in there. Not yet at least.
I turned the doorknob slowly. I closed my eyes as I opened the door all the way and found myself standing the doorway to an empty room.
"Thank you." I let out my breath as I stepped in and found a desk towards the middle of the room. I don't specifically why the middle, I guess it was so that it didn't look like I was trying to be a kissup by sitting in the front even though detention wasn't an actual class, and I suppose that I didn't choose the back, so that way, if Blaine for some reason, decided to sit next to me, he wouldn't be able to whisper any slurs to me without, whoever the moderator is, noticing.
I let my backpack fall to the floor next to me with a loud thump.
"You should be careful, you might break something in there. Oh, that's right, you are in the mood for breaking things today though, like people's faces, so I shouldn't be overly surprised." I felt Blaine's breath on the back of my neck as he whispered to me.
"I'm sorry." I spat.
"No you aren't." He responded, sitting down in the back of the room.
Mrs. Q, what we call her for short, walked into the room. She looked like she had a good day, and yes, that is me being sarcastic.
"So, gentlemen, from what I've heard, you too have some serious issues with eachother."
I looked back at Blaine who was looking back at me. His face was hard, it was obvious how much he hated me.
"With that said, I want you to remain in your seats for the next hour. I don't want you to talk. I don't want you to look at anything other than straight ahead. No reading. No doing homework. Just reflect on what is the reasoning behind all of the tension between you. I am going to go to the teacher's lounge because I have reached my point of exhaustion."
Mrs. Q left the room, closing the door behind her. I closed my eyes and thought about what could have happened to have made Blaine hate me so. It didn't take long to come up with a long list of things.
I'm gay. No one on the football team likes me, and since he's on the football team, he isn't supposed to like me. I punched him. I exist.
"I don't hate you." Blaine somehow moved himself from the back of the room to the seat on my right without me hearing.
"Really? Because, it sorta seems like you do." I knew that that might only add fuel to the already bonfire sized fire but, it was hard to believe that he didn't hate me since he goes out of his way to harass me on a daily basis.
"If I told you about me. About my life. Where I come from. My past. Maybe then you would understand why I am the way that I am." I was lost. Completely and utterly, lost.
"Blaine. What the fuck are you talking about?" I turned to face him.
"I'm saying that I'm not some asshole who picks on whoever he can," He must have noticed the way that I was staring at him, "Okay. Fine. Maybe I am. Actually, yeah. I know that I am. And there is a reason. I would never..."
"Hurt people without reason? Because there really is never a reason for helping people unless it is a method of self-defense. Which, might i say, slushies are not meant for self-defense, Blaine. And if you happen to be stupid enough to think that they are, then you are a lot more ignorant that I thought you were."
"Kurt. It is a method of self-defense. Bullying people. It is for me. But it is only self-defense when it is people...that aren't you."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? That you are just doing it to do it because...why? Blaine, please, explain that to me. Because, I have been through hell and back with a kid who used to go here and I really would like to not have to relive all of that with you because I have dealt with it for the past three years of my life and now I finally have a chance to not. But then...here you are, pushing me into lockers. Calling me names. Throwing slushies in my face..."
"I wish I could tell you, Kurt. I really do. I want to be able to explain everything to you. Do you know how much easier it would make my life?"
"Blaine..."
"But I can't. Because it is something that no one can ever know. It is the worst thing about me. The one thing that I wish that I could change about myself. Because I know that if I could fix it, I would be able to stop hurting people. I would be able to be honest. Everyone would know the real me. And dammit Kurt! Why the fuck am I saying all fo this to you? This is ridiculous! Dammit!"
I didn't know what to say. Blaine had thrown his head down in his hands which were laying on his desk.
I began to have hope. Again. Something that I know that I never should have when it is in regards to Blaine Anderson. But this time, it wasn't hope that we could be together. It was hope that he could change. That he could maybe be a better person. That he would stop bullying. That maybe...possibly...he could trust me. That he could tell me whatever it is that he has been hiding about himself. Obviously, it was something pretty big and presumably serious because by the way that he was rushing out his words and telling me things that I doubt he has ever told anyone or that he might not have even meant to let out, I knew that there was something going on with this kid.
I want him to be able to tell me. I want to be able to help him. But right now, I know is not the time to tell him that I have a shoulder for him to cry on. That I have lips that will never tell his secret. That I am here for him whenever he needs me. One day I will be able to tell him. One day when I am sure that he won't take it the wrong way. One day, when we have built up some trust.
Blaine got up from his seat and moved back to where he began before Mrs. Q left. We only had a few minutes before it was time to leave. I whispered, when he was far enough back so that he wouldn't hear me, "Maybe one day, you'll be able to tell me everything."
And with that, Mrs. Q came back in the room. "I hope you were good and had time to reflect and come to some sort of idea of how to control yourselves." I nodded in return.
"I will see you back here again tomorrow, boys. Have a good night."
~
As I was walking to my car, I heard my name being called. As I turned around, I saw Blaine running towards me.
"Kurt!"
"Blaine?" I was in shock that he was talking to me after his little outburst.
"I...I just wanted to thank you for listening to me and...you can't tell anyone anything that I said in there, ever. And I want to tell you that I am sorry for everything that I have put you through. And..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "I'm sorry for everything that I'm going to put you through. But one day, you will understand."
As he walked away, I felt heat creep up the back of my neck. I didn't want to imagine what else I was going to go through. But he pretty much left me with a promise to tell me why.
I was beginning to gain his trust.
Comments
I am such a sucker for a badboy Blaine story! I really like what you're doing with this and I can't wait to read more! I love it so much but I wish your chapters were longer! :) Can't wait for an update!! Great work! Keep it up!
Yay!!! Omigosh thank u!!
Well at least Blaine is kind of opening up to Kurt. I hope he doesn't hurt Kurt too bad with whatever else he is going to put him through. They will have a lot of time to get to know each other in detention. I am really enjoying this story and I like how you switch between Kurt and Blaine's pov. I am looking forward to reading chapter 10.
Awwww well thank you so much!!! I wasn't sure how the pov thing was going to work it but I am glad that someone likes it!!!