March 9, 2013, 1:01 p.m.
Some Things Are Uncontrollable: The Real Me
E - Words: 643 - Last Updated: Mar 09, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Aug 13, 2012 - Updated: Mar 09, 2013 852 0 1 0 0
I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be here yesterday, being the reason that I never showed. I planned for today to go the same way, "drive to school," but instead find something better to do with my life than sit in a room with a bunch of kids trying to find new ways to fit in. New ways that would never work. That was how I wanted things to go, but when my parents got a call from some pervy sounding foreign man letting them know that I wasn't in any of my classes yesterday, they decided to drive me to school, to ensure that I actually made it today.
My parents, for some reason unbeknownst to me, thought it was a brilliant idea to send me to some trashy public school, McKinley, or something like that. They thought that taking me away from my friends at Dalton Academy would "make me a better person." Just because it's a new school, doesn't mean that there won't be new kids dealing drugs.
Yeah, I have a problem or two. Between drugs and violence, I guess you could say that I'm pretty fucked up. You could also say that I became this way because of those people that call themselves my parents.
The Anderson family was the ideal family, until I, Blaine Anderson, came out and my dad, Joseph Anderson, tried to do everything in his power to make me straight, up to and including, beating me senseless, all to keep his name clean. He's a politician and as soon as news spread that Congressman Anderson's son was gay they wouldn't vote for him again. So we had to keep up the ideal family facade, meaning that I had to hide myself away, from the public eye. My mother, Rebecca, didn't agree with my dad, but, she definitely did not try to stop him. When he would hit me, she would simply cover her ears and leave the room.
The need to defend myself from my father led me to take up boxing. It not only helped me protect myself, it was also a good way to let my anger out. First it was punching bags, but punching bags soon turned to people, mainly the people who seemed happiest with their lives. I mean, why do they deserve to be happy when I'm so miserable?
Then I just wanted the pain to go away, the feelings of despair because I knew that I was a disgrace to my family. That's where the drugs came into play. It relieved the stress for a few hours. Everything seemed fine, but as soon as the buzz wore off, I was quickly blasted back into reality.
At this point. It is safe to say that no one knows the real Blaine Anderson, gay male, singer. They only know that badass, straight, bully, drug doing, Blaine Anderson. And if that makes me feel like I am in control, then let them believe that that is the kind of guy that I am.
~
It's my first day of school and nearly everyone is looking at me as if I am about to slam them into a locker. I don't doubt that by the end of the end of the year, I will have done that to at least half of them, some, more than once.
I don't want to. I don't find pride or happiness in it, but I have to. I have to keep people afraid of me, away from me, off my case.
But Glee Club is the loser hotspot of the school and I'm its newest member. Why would I want to not have attention drawn to me, yet be joining this stupid club? Because, like I said before. I love to sing.
Glee Club, meet your newest member, Blaine Anderson.
Comments
bring it, blaine anderson. you're about to meet your match...