There Will Always Be A Friend.
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There Will Always Be A Friend.: Chapter 6


T - Words: 1,211 - Last Updated: Dec 16, 2011
Story: Closed - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Oct 29, 2011 - Updated: Dec 16, 2011
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A/N- just so everyone know, I do not write about things I don't understand. I know what its like to be gay and to repress it, and I know how people act in various stages of denial and acceptance not only from my own experience, but from the people in my gay straight alliance at school which I am president of. Please don't get used to the super- quick updates. I keep saying to myself I shouldn't update twice in a day, but hey, I'm in a writing mood today.

Also, I am an artist, so any requests for fan art I would love :) anyone interested in seeing my portfolio should tell me! I drew my icon/ avatar thingy.

I do not own glee, please review.

Dear Kurt,

I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed going out with you Saturday. It was such a strange experience for me. With my old "friends" we used to talk about stupid stuff like beer and sports and other people. I never liked the way they talked so insensitively about anyone who wasn't in our group of friends. The only reason I was their friend was because my parents knew their parents so we grew up together. I'm sure they think I had a crush on the whole lot of them. But anyway, with them everything was just normal, but with you I just could not stop smiling. We talked about vogue and music, feelings and the things we have in common. It was so easy to talk to you, and to be honest I was not expecting that. Everything's a surprise with you…

I know I avoided the subject at lunch, and I'm sorry. I feel so ashamed of it, but I will to tell you here what happened over winter break. You said in your last letter that you think I would have already accepted myself for who I am. I'm going to be honest with you and myself, I haven't. I want to say I have, I want to say that I can keep my head high and my spirits up, but deep down I'm still that young boy trying to prove to himself that he can like girls and get married with 2 and a half kids, a dog, and a maid named Alice.

My parents are the same way. They want so badly for me to have that life, or more likely to be able to tell their friends that I do. My father was nagging me as he usually does about girls, asking me what kind of hair I like and if I like any girls at school, wondering with accusation in his voice why I'm the only one of my friends who couldn't keep a girlfriend. One of the guys from the football team was over, and joined in with my dad's questions. They didn't know I was always the one to break up with them after a week. They would always want to kiss me, I'm not sure if you know what that is like, but it is not a pleasant experience. I just sort of snapped. I have no idea what came over me. I just stood up and started yelling about how I don't care what color girls hair is and how I don't notice the particular size and shape of boobs, and I just yelled that I like boys. My mother just closed her eyes. She hasn't said a word to me since; she's barely looked at me. I think she knew. My father just slapped me and told me to never say such a thing again. It's not like I wasn't expecting it, he's always been prone to violence. I'm not quite sure the situation has sunk in yet for me, I'm not quite sure even I understand how upset I am, so I don't think I would be able to convey it on paper.

A part of me is happy that it happened though. I'm even slightly happy my "friend" went and told everyone I was gay after running out of my house like he thought I might rub my gay off on him. It's like I can be who I am. I may have lost everything, and I may get taunted nonstop, but at least I'm not hiding. To be honest though, I'm not quite sure whether it was worth it. I think it was though, and that's because of you. I really like you Kurt, for some reason you have been on my mind a lot lately, and I just want to spend more time with you.

Thank you so much for being there for me Kurt.

Sincerely,

Blaine

PS, you have no idea how nervous I am to write this. In fact it took about an hour for me to get up the nerve to, but do you think I can start calling our coffee lunch Saturday a date?

It's really big for me to even accept that I want to call it that, but somehow you make it easier to be myself. It seemed necessary to say that.

()

Dear Blaine,

These past few days have been wonderful! I am so happy you are able to confide in me. I always wished that I had had someone like that back when I was going through all that you are. I still am going through it really, but now I have someone to confide in as well. I hope you will consider joining the glee club. I know you are reluctant, rightfully so, but I'm sure everyone would love to have you there. I love walking to classes with you, and I love getting coffee with you after school.

I know how nervous you were to ask if we could start calling of coffee runs dates. I was going to answer you in person, but I'm not quite sure you would have liked that. I still find it hard to say that I'm gay out loud after all this time, and since you just came out I'm not quite sure if you would have liked me to say that out loud. Maybe you would have, but the last thing I wanted was to make you uncomfortable around me. The answer though is yes, of course they can be called dates! I won't make assumptions as to what that means.

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents Blaine. The thought of your father hitting you just makes me want to run over there and hit him, if I didn't think he'd probably be able to snap my arm in half. I know how easy it is to snap like that though. It's a strange psychology to have someone talk harshly about you and around you without knowing their doing so.

I hope this doesn't sound selfish of me, but I am glad you came out. I hate how your parents treat you and I hate how people at school bully you, but I love that I am friends with you. You're so easy to talk to and I always have the time of my life when I am with you.
Thanking you so much for just being you Blaine. It always gets easier, and there comes a point when you realize you don't need the opposite sex to live in a Norman Rockwell painting. Sincerely, Kurt.


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