The Blaine Anderson Effect
madsanderson
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The Blaine Anderson Effect: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again


T - Words: 3,606 - Last Updated: Jun 13, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 8/8 - Created: Jun 13, 2012 - Updated: Jun 13, 2012
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Kurt drew in a deep breath as he watched his boyfriend walk back towards the coffee counter. His stride was the same and he still had the same swagger of a guy that wished he had swagger. It was the same Blaine. It was his Blaine.

This much Kurt knew to be true.

He may be reliving different Mondays, or rather, different versions of the same Monday, but every time he came back, it was the same Blaine.

Blaine never changed.

And it was breaking Kurt's heart. He didn't know what exactly was happening here. He didn't even know if this was all in his head.

Maybe this was in his head.

Maybe on the first day he'd been hit and was stuck in a terrible coma, forced to relive the worst day of his life.

Kurt screwed his eyes shut and tried to focus on waking up. Waking up from whatever this was.

He opened his eyes. Still at the Lima Bean.

He looked towards the counter. Blaine was still here.

How was this possible?

Kurt backtracked. The first Monday, the crash had happened when Kurt was in his car. Blaine had begged him to stay, and Kurt had insisted on leaving. So Blaine had left and crashed.

Kurt didn't even make it to the car before it'd exploded.

Second Monday, Kurt had begged Blaine not to leave. Blaine left in order to make Kurt leave. Cars crashed. Kurt talked to Blaine.

First explosion sent Kurt to hospital.

And now he was here.

Kurt surveyed the Lima Bean trying to figure out what was different about this Monday. But he realized that he hadn't paid much attention to this part. The part where Blaine was still alive.

Blaine.

"Sweet! Now this is the lovely medium drip that I know so well" Blaine said with a broad grin, practically falling back into his seat.

Kurt smiled nervously and nodded, looking over as Blaine eagerly drank his coffee.

"Blaine?"

Blaine looked up at Kurt and cocked his head to the side in earnest. "Yeah?"

Kurt swallowed before asking the same question he'd asked yesterday. Only today was a new day.

"What day is it?"

Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt and stared at him bemusedly. "Monday, Kurt. Don't pretend like you forgot your first day of school back from New York" he added with a tip of his cup.

Kurt smiled at him half-heartedly. "No, um, no. I didn't forget."

"Darn" Blaine said with a small smirk. "I was hoping you'd spend the day here with me".

Kurt's attention peaked at that. So Blaine was back on Kurt skipping school.

"I still could."

Blaine gave Kurt a look that said no-you-can't.

It was happening all over again.

Kurt would beg Blaine to stay and Blaine would tell Kurt to go to school. Then Blaine would leave and get in that terrible accident.

It was more than that.

Blaine would die again.

And Kurt would be left to ask himself what the hell was going on. Kurt wouldn't know whether or not to mourn his dead boyfriend or conjure up a plan to save him the next day.

The same day.

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He ran his fingers through his hair, smiling slightly at the fact that his head was no longer shaved.

Plus side of negating brain surgery, Kurt mused silently.

But running his fingers through his hair did nothing to calm his thoughts. This was just all so weird. So freaking weird.

Kurt let out a deep sigh and interlocked his fingers on the top of his head, resting them there.

He just needed more time. He needed to figure out what the hell was happening.

Why was he reliving the worst day of his life?

What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Hey Kurt?"

Kurt's eyes opened abruptly as he heard his boyfriend say his name.

"What?"

Blaine opened his mouth, but closed it, as if reconsidering. Then he spoke.

"It's just, you're acting kind of weird. Is something wrong?"

Kurt looked at him for a moment, considering what he was saying. Everything was wrong.

The better question was what wasn't going wrong.

Kurt must be crazy. He must be insane. Really really insane.

Any moment now he was going to wake up and laugh at how he'd actually fallen for this bizarre hoax his own mind was playing against him.

Yeah. Something was way wrong.

"No. Why would you ask?"

Kurt gave his boyfriend a smile as he took a sip from his own cup. He blamed Blaine for his obsession with medium drips.

"Okay. I was just making sure" Blaine said before opening the lid to his cup to put in some more sugar.

Kurt surveyed his boyfriend fixing his drink and considered his situation.

What if this wasn't just a dream? What if he really was reliving the worst day of his life?

What if he was getting another chance to save his boyfriend?

What if this was real?

Kurt looked around and noticed for the first time just how vivid everything was.

Not really comparable to the hazy backgrounds of a dream.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah Kurt?" Blaine asked without looking up from the cup he was stirring.

"Will you promise to listen to me if I tell you something crazy?"

"Sure" Blaine answered absentmindedly, still moving the stirring stick.

"This isn't the first time I've been here" Kurt dead-panned, keeping his eyes focused firmly on Blaine.

Blaine looked up slowly from his coffee and stared at Kurt worriedly.

"What?"

"I think I've gone back in time" Kurt said as matter-of-factly as he could.

Blaine looked at him with a quizzical brow and laughed nervously at Kurt before he noticed that Kurt was completely seriously.

"You're serious?"

"Dead" Kurt said before he recognized the irony and accidentally laughed out loud.

Blaine laughed with him, but a sort of forced laugh as he watched his boyfriend with great concern.

"So you are kidding?" Blaine asked slowly once Kurt's laughter had slowly begun to die down.

"No, I'm not, I just- I think I understand the horrible irony of it all. Dead serious… It's really not funny at all. It's really quite awful" Kurt said bringing his coffee to his lips and taking a giant sip.

Blaine's concern was growing as he stared at his boyfriend.

"Okay, Kurt, what're you talking about? You're really not making any sense."

Kurt put his coffee down suddenly and looked very seriously at Blaine.

"I think I'm supposed to save you."

Blaine frowned at Kurt and his brow became severely knotted. "Save me? What do you-"

"I'm supposed to stop you from dying."

Blaine actually laughed this time. "Dying? Kurt… I'm not dying."

"Not yet" Kurt said quietly, folding his hands and putting them in his lap.

"Not yet? Kurt, I'm being quite serious… You're scaring me. I'm fine. You don't need to 'save' me."

Kurt shook his head slightly, still looking at his lap. This was crazy. Why did he think that he would actually be able to say these things out loud and have someone else see them as not crazy?

Blaine probably thought he was off his rocker. But he wasn't. He'd already seen Blaine die twice. He didn't want it to happen again.

"Kurt! Look at me! Tell me what you're talking about! You are seriously making me worry about you!"

Kurt looked up as Blaine reached out across the table and grabbed Kurt's hands from his lap.

"Kurt, I love you. I am crazy about you and I would do anything for you. But I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong."

Kurt realized that he was tearing up again. Well, for the first time on this Monday.

"I love you too" Kurt said quietly through his tears.

"Kurt… Come on. You're visibly upset. You have to tell me what's wrong. I can help if you just tell me what's wrong" Blaine said slowly, squeezing Kurt's hand tightly.

Kurt drew in a quick and shallow breath, trying to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. But it didn't help.

"I love you Blaine. I love you so much" Kurt said as the tears really started to fall.

He didn't know what was making him so much more upset this time. He'd seen Blaine die twice, he'd seen him die knowing what was going to happen. And he hadn't stopped it then.

Perhaps it was because it was just dawning on Kurt that maybe he couldn't save Blaine. So far, he'd always gone to sleep with the intention of resting, trying to shake his grief. This time he would go to sleep thinking about how to save him.

Save Blaine.

But what if it didn't work?

What if this time Blaine just died?

Kurt couldn't have that. It was breaking his heart to think about how he might not ever see Blaine again.

"Kurt, I love you too. I do! But please tell me what's wrong. Please? I want to know, I really do!"

Kurt withdrew a hand from Blaine's and wiped his face, trying to get rid of some of the tears.

"I'm sorry I scared you Blaine, I am" Kurt said.

Blaine looked at Kurt with an even more concerned expression that before.

"It's okay"

Kurt and Blaine sat there for a minute while Kurt reconsidered his approach.

"Hey you guys!"

Kurt looked up and saw Mercedes and Rachel holding coffee.

That was different.

"What're you two doing here?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Just on the way to Glee Club" Rachel said with a smile, and then taking a drink from her coffee cup.

"Mr. Schuester probably has some weird nostalgia performance to give" Mercedes said with a giggle.

Kurt looked between the both of them and tried to just simply nod and pretend to listen.

"See you soon Kurt?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Yeah… Yeah sure." Kurt said, not even bothering to smile.

He looked at the clock instead. It was 8:40.

"Kurt, you didn't even pay attention to them… You can't expect me to believe that nothing's wrong."

Kurt let out a deep breath. This honesty thing could work. He just needed to be more aggressive about it.

"Okay Blaine, you need to listen to me"

Blaine raised his eyebrows and smiled at Kurt. "Listening."

"I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that yesterday and the day before, I watched you die in a car accident. Both days. And now you're here. And you're fine. It's like every time I go to bed, I wake up, and I'm here. And you're alive again. For whatever reason, you keep dying and I haven't been able to stop it. But I will this time. I'm not going to let you die okay?"

Blaine looked at Kurt with an expression of shock. That's the only way to describe it. Complete shock.

"Okay, so… You think I've died before and you want to stop it from happening again?"

"Yes."

Blaine burst out laughing, holding his stomach and bringing his hand to his eyes to stop himself from crying. He almost knocked over his coffee in the middle of laughing and he quickly steadied it, still laughing.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Is this supposed to be some preamble to a big surprise or something? Are you trying to make me think you're going insane so I'll break up with you?" Blaine suddenly looked aghast. "Do you want to break up with me?"

"No! No! I don't want to break up with you, I swear!" Kurt said suddenly, grabbing Blaine's hand back and squeezing it tightly.

"Okay good" Blaine said taking a deep breath, as he looked very overwhelmed.

Kurt realized this wasn't going to work.

"So why did you say all of that stuff?" Blaine continued, looking very anxious for Kurt's answer.

"I don't know. To make you laugh I guess" Kurt said sadly, pulling his hand away from Blaine's.

"It worked" Blaine said with a smile.

Kurt didn't know what to do now. Blaine couldn't leave the shop, but he probably wouldn't stay here.

He was just going to think Kurt's insane.

He probably already did.

But at least Kurt hadn't forgotten to tell Blaine he loved him this time around.

This time around.

Hopefully it wasn't the last time around.

Kurt would figure it out, he would. He could save Blaine.

It'd just take time to figure it out.

He needed to figure out a way to make Blaine listen.

But it probably wouldn't happen this time around.

"Listen Kurt, I better get going" Blaine said.

Kurt didn't even look up.

"I'll call you later okay?" Blaine asked timidly.

Kurt just nodded.

Then, for the third time since this crazy thing started, Kurt heard a loud crash.

"What the hell was that?" Blaine yelled out as Kurt jumped up from the table to stand next to Blaine. The patrons of the shop were rushing to the windows to stare outside and look down the street. Someone at the counter dropped their phone.

A woman outside screamed.

A teenager wearing a McDonalds uniform brought out his phone to dial 9-1-1.

"Do you think that was an accident?" Blaine asked Kurt frantically, and Kurt turned to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

The second their gazes locked, Blaine seemed to understand.

"That- that was a car accident wasn't it?" Blaine asked slowly.

Kurt nodded as Blaine quickly exhaled and looked towards the window.

"That's not the first time you've heard that huh?"

Kurt shook his head. "No."

Blaine looked back at Kurt before grabbing his hand suddenly and pulling him out the door.

"Come on, let's check it out"

Kurt wanted to say no, wait, but he his thoughts were becoming clouded with doubt.

What was going on?

Blaine wasn't even in an accident his time.

He was really fine.

Was that it?

Had Kurt distracted him long enough to save him?

Was it really over?

"Damn…" Blaine said slowly as he rounded the corner, Kurt right behind him.

It was the same accident.

But different.

A small compact car was wedged between a large SUV and the pole holding the street signals in the air. The lights were swaying ominously above both of the cars as several patrons rushed to the passenger doors of both vehicles. Out of the SUV, a pair of twins were removed, but it seemed that they were having trouble with the driver.

Kurt couldn't really see what was happening in the compact car, but he noticed that at the bottom of the rear fender was a golden star.

A gold star.

"Blaine!" Kurt cried out, suddenly panicked. This hadn't happened before.

"What? Kurt, what is it?" Blaine asked him, turning around in surprise.

"That's Rachel's car!"

Blaine turned his head toward it, and back towards Kurt.

"Come on!"

Blaine pulled Kurt along with him towards the car, and they saw as they approached it that the SUV had hit the rear of the car, thankfully keeping Rachel and Mercedes' doors intact.

Blaine rushed to the driver side of the car as Kurt rushed to the passenger side, quickly opening the door.

"Cedes? Can you hear me?"

Kurt heard a grumbling from inside of the car as Mercedes slowly turned her head to face Kurt.

"Kurt? Is that you?"

Kurt laughed through his tears as he reached up to wipe them away quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me. Are you okay?"

Mercedes looked at him with an all too familiar glare. "Do I look okay to you?"

Kurt smiled. "Come on, let's get you out of here"

Kurt slung Mercedes' arm around his neck as he pulled her out of the car. She groaned when they moved, but quickly assured Kurt it was nothing.

"You sure?"

"Just get me the hell out of here"

They made their way to the sidewalk and Kurt set Mercedes' down gingerly. He turned around and saw Blaine right behind them, carrying Rachel in his arms. She looked out of it still.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked Blaine as he set Rachel down next to Mercedes.

"I think she'll be alright" Blaine said as he brushed Rachel's hair out of her face.

Kurt nodded and threw his arms around Blaine the second he stood fully upright.

"I'm just glad it wasn't you this time."

Blaine pulled away from Kurt.

"You really have been here before?"

Kurt paused for a second before he nodded. No sense in lying now. It was going to be okay.

Blaine smiled at him and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.

"Do you believe me now? I'm not going anywhere."

Kurt just laughed and interlocked his hands at the back of Blaine's head.

"Yeah, I believe you."

"Seriously? Can one of you two lovebirds cool it for a minute and help me out?"

Kurt looked down at Mercedes who was holding a spot on her head that appeared to be bleeding slightly.

Kurt turned back to Blaine and quickly kissed him. "Don't worry, I got it" he said before letting go of Blaine and sitting next to Mercedes on the sidewalk.

"It's alright, the ambulance should be on its way."

"Good" grumbled Mercedes as Kurt pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

Kurt was still trying to make sure Mercedes was okay when someone shouted something in the distance. Kurt didn't hear, but when he turned to look who'd said it, he saw Blaine running off towards the SUV to help out the group of guys trying to get the driver out of the car.

Kurt panicked.

He abruptly stood up and yelled out.

"Blaine! No!"

Blaine was at the car and he turned towards Kurt.

"What?"

Then came the next thing Kurt was all too accustomed to seeing.

The engine of the SUV blew.


Kurt paced the Emergency Room lobby.

What was he thinking?

Every time that accident happened at least one of the engines blew. Now the one time Blaine avoided the accident Kurt had forgotten about the dumb explosion.

Why did Blaine have to be the hero all the time?

To be fair, Kurt had been in the same position the last two times, he could forgive Blaine for this time.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned around suddenly as he heard his name. He was slightly let down to see his dad and not Blaine, but he went to greet him regardless.

"Hey dad." Kurt said giving him a hug.

His dad squeezed him tight and Kurt forgot how much he loved his dad's hugs.

"How you doin' buddy?"

Kurt let go of his dad and smiled at him.

"I'm okay. Rachel and Mercedes are over there with the nurses and Blaine is-"

Kurt swallowed. He couldn't finish the sentence.

"The doctor told me. He'll be out of surgery soon. Don't worry."

If only his dad knew.

He wouldn't tell Kurt not to worry, he'd ask why he wasn't more worried.

"Hi, I'm sorry, are you Mr. Anderson?"

A doctor in a long white coat came over to Kurt and his dad, tepidly holding a clipboard.

Burt looked at Kurt and then back to the doctor. "Uh, sorry, I'm not."

Kurt cut off his father, speaking to the doctor. "Is that about Blaine?"

The doctor gave him a weird look and looked at the paper on the clipboard.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, but are either of you family?"

"I'm his boyfriend" Kurt said without hesitation.

Kurt heard his father let out a deep sigh next to him.

The doctor looked Kurt up and down and then frowned. "I see. Are either of you actually family?"

Kurt understood why his father sounded upset.

It sometimes threw Kurt off guard when he came across homophobes. In Glee Club, it didn't happen often.

"I'm as good as he's got right now" Kurt said, trying to keep his temper down.

"Well I'm sorry, we need a family member to talk to."

Someone tapped the doctor on the shoulder.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I'm Mr. Anderson. Did you say you had news on my son?"

Mr. Schuester gave Kurt a wink as the doctor turned to face him.

"Your son is in recovery ."

"Can I go see him?" Mr. Schuester asked the doctor.

"Yes, but I must warn you to prepare yourself."

Mr. Schuester looked at Kurt's concerned expression before simply asking, "For what?"


"Hey Kurt, do you want to be alone?" Mr. Schuester asked Kurt as he sat next to Blaine's bed, holding his hand in his.

Kurt looked up at his Spanish teacher and nodded his head.

"If you don't mind…"

"Not at all" Mr. Schuester said with a smile. "He is my son though, so you be nice" he added with a wink.

"Thanks for that Mr. Schue. You aren't worried you'll get in trouble?"

"Don't worry about me. Just wait for your man to wake up"

Kurt gave Mr. Schuester the biggest smile he could under present circumstances. "If he wakes up."

Mr. Schuester took his hand off the door where he had been moving to open it and sat down next to Kurt.

"Kurt, I've never known you to be one who gives up so easily. You alone had sole faith in your dad to wake up on his own, and I know you have enough faith in Blaine for him to wake up. The doctor said the damage wasn't too bad, and that we just needed to wait."

Kurt nodded at Mr. Schuester and turned his gaze back to Blaine's resting head.

"You're right."

But Kurt had the feeling that, despite the optimism, Mr. Schuester was wrong.

Kurt had already been here before.

Mr. Schuester gave Kurt a pat on the shoulder and finally left the hospital room.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand tightly.

"Blaine, if you can hear me, squeeze."

Nothing.

Kurt swallowed and scooted his chair closer to Blaine's bed.

"Blaine… If you can hear me, please, just squeeze my hand."

Nothing.

Kurt took a deep breath.

"If you can hear me, open your eyes."

Nothing.

Kurt's eyelids were starting to get droopy.

He couldn't fall asleep.

Not until Blaine woke up.

Kurt laid his head on the blankets covering Blaine's chest.

He could still hear the heartbeat.

He could hear Blaine's heart.

Kurt closed his eyes as he felt his tears start to come.

He wasn't going to wake up.

Kurt had failed.


"Here we go, two medium drips, sugar expertly added by my, if I do say so myself, professional care".

Kurt opened his eyes immediately this time.

Blaine was standing expectantly over him, smiling his big dapper grin as he clenched two cups of coffee in his hands, placing them on the table.

Kurt leapt out of his seat and threw his arms around Blaine's neck, causing his boyfriend to take several steps backward in surprise.

"I love you Blaine, I love you so much"

Blaine pushed Kurt off of him slightly and smiled at him.

Kurt looked at him, confused as to why he'd pushed him off.

Blaine just continued to smile as he said, "Damn. I was hoping to say that first."

"Oh" Kurt said, realizing what he'd changed on this Monday. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry" Blaine said as he pulled Kurt in for a kiss, running his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"I love you too."


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