2013, still

"Tina and Sam have been treating me with kids gloves, or at least, it feels that way. Normally, I'd scoff at them, but I guess I need it right now." He wipes away the tears. "I kind of had the biggest panic attack in a while yesterday. I was under stress. Sam has all these accusations about the Warblers, Kurt is dating someone, I've been leading the student body council with Sam, Tina and Sugar and I'm under a lot of pressure to do everything right.

Then, I start feeling weird about Sam.

But that's not the worst part of it, Lolo. It gets way, way worse. Tina organised the first annual Sadie Hawkins dance of McKinley." And he burst into tears. "Why? Why? Why? Why? How could she do this to me? I told the glee club about you this summer. And ever since your birthday, she knows you're lying here in your grave. Why? I know she's right about the sexist undertone of a man asking a woman to prom, but why?

Okay, no- I'm getting ahead of myself, because a lot of things happened after that, but still… why did she do this in the first place? I know she apologised after she remembered, but fuck. Why?

She asked me. I said no.

And like I said, after that she apologised and she started talking about how sorry she is about what happened to me at Westerville Central. She said she understood why I didn't want to go. I didn't want to sound weak, so I lied to her. I lied and said that the reason I didn't want to go was that I have a crush on Sam, which is true, but that is not the point. That crush is totally random anyway.

I wished I hadn't lied to her, because her solution was, drum roll, please, going to the Sadie Hawkins dance after all. As friends.

At this point, I just want to crawl back into my bed and cry, but Sam keeps bugging me to talk to Trent about his accusations. I told him I will, but really… I am tired, Lolo. I am so tired. And it feels like there's no going back. Tina Cohen-Chang doesn't take no for an answer. Fuck.

I will call Trent later this week, but right now I need to mentally prepare myself for hell. Although, maybe this time it will be better, since I'm going with a girl."