2012, still

"I know I haven't been here all summer, but I was busy spending time with Kurt. And today, he left for New York. It hurts, it really does, but he doesn't belong here anymore. This summer has been great, but all good things come to an end, and for Kurt that was the time to move on to better things.

I've been dreading this moment for so long.

At this point I feel like getting a plane to, I don't know, London or something so that I can just leave. I need time to clear my head. But instead of London, I'm here.

I considered taking Kurt with me here, but I decided not to. This is my space. Except for Lillie, Wes and David, no one needs to know.

The glee club has been nice to me. Probably since they know how heartbreak feels. Brittany is doing long distance too, and Tina got her heart broken this summer. I like Mike, he's a great friend, but why? She wasn't Asian enough?

Things are getting weird. Tina is being a diva, Artie suddenly has an opinion on everything, Brittany is Brittany, they're being rude now that we're popular. I must admit, I am too. But what choice do I have? Bully or be bullied, I guess, and I don't ever want to go through that again.

Artie elected me as the New Rachel. I'm happy because I feel loved, but the others all look at me in a different way. I never wanted to stand out. The last time I did that, it didn't end well for you. But honestly, I'm confused. I don't feel like myself. On one hand, I embrace this title, on the other hand, I resent it.

Gosh, what is happening to me? Kurt shouldn't have left."