2012, still

"Bad things happened, Lolo. Bad things that hit close to home," Blaine hangs his head, "Earlier this week, Kurt and I entered the choir room. Mr. Schue was late. But then he came in and he looked distressed. Ms. Pillsbury, coach Beiste, and even coach Sylvester followed him. They all looked grim.

Remember the jock that bullied Kurt? I told you about him. About the bullying, the death threat, but also about how he got better. He turned over a new leaf and he transferred to live his life hate-free. Apparently, some scumbags outed him and Karofsky tried to kill himself.

His father found him in time. He's in the hospital right now, but he will make it.

Today, Mr. Schue told us to come to the auditorium. We talked. We talked about suicide and depression and I just… I can't believe I didn't cry. But I was doing my very best not to cry. I can't believe I succeeded. No one knows about me and you. So I couldn't.

Mr. Schue told him about how suicide can drive you crazy. He told his own story, and he also said something that struck me. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that someone feels so helpless.

Mr. Schue almost killed himself because of a bad grade. Karofsky almost killed himself because people outed him. You killed yourself because people beat us.

Karofsky is doing well. Is it bad that I feel jealous on your behalf? Why does he get a second chance and you don't. Look at me. I'm still feeling pretty shit every now and then, but I think that I can be happy one day. I'm already happy most of the time.

Anyway… after that, Mr. Schue told us to talk about the future and about what we wanted to see in the future. I said gay marriage in all fifty states. Equality. I deserve it. Kurt deserves it. Even freaking Karofsky deserves it. And so do you.

After glee club, we went to Kurt's place and we just cried. The two of us didn't want to speak about our struggles with depression and suicide in front of everyone, but when we were together, we broke down. I cried because of you.

… I just miss you a lot, Lolo."