There have been several times that made Kurt want to throw his phone against the wall. Now, it actually happened. He hears a loud thud when the phone hits the floor and he stares at it with wide eyes.

Blaine is in love with him?

Blaine’s spent the entire week figuring things out and one of the things that he realised is that he’s in love with Kurt?

Kurt falls down on his bed. It’s as if his limbs have given up and he can’t sit up straight anymore. He stares at the ceiling and his mind is reeling. He wants to scream or cry, but instead he’s just looking up and feeling numb.

When did this happen? Blaine called him kind and honest and a friend. Kurt replays the messages in his head. If he’s correct, Blaine’s been feeling this way for a while, but he also wonders if Kurt feels the same. Kurt doesn’t want to pick up his phone to check the exact wording, but Blaine wrote that there’s something between the two of them.

Kurt already knows that he’s done something terrible by catfishing Blaine so that he can expose him, but he never planned on leading him on.

That’s when the next realisation hits Kurt: Blaine’s not in love with him, he’s in love with Eddie.

Eddie Andrews, a fake name for someone who doesn’t exist. Eddie Andrews, who is about to move to Ohio. Eddie Andrews, who isn’t real.

But Kurt is Eddie. Kurt, as Eddie, became great friends with Blaine and he started to like talking to Blaine. What if Blaine’s right and there was something going on? Kurt’s never been great with admitting things either. In fact, he’s only recently started doing so, but this can’t be something. There can’t be something between Kurt and Blaine that Kurt didn’t see?

Yes, they became great friends and yes, Kurt started to look forward to talking to Blaine and yes, Kurt started to see Blaine in a new light and yes, Kurt felt completely comfortable talking with Blaine about some more personal things and yes, maybe the reason he hasn’t owned up is because he can’t bear the thought of losing Blaine-

Kurt’s still staring at the ceiling. He’s fucked.

No, a voice in his head rings, No, I do not have feelings for him!

But the more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. But they don’t actually know each other that well! Blaine pointed it out himself! How does this work?

After lying in his bed in despair for a few more minutes, he forces himself to get up. He gets off the bed and he picks up the phone. The screen is cracked. He purposefully looks over the Facebook app. Instead, he calls Mercedes.

After Kurt has told Mercedes everything, he expects a scowl, but instead, Mercedes sounds somewhat sympathetic. It’s a big contrast to her earlier reaction. Still, Mercedes approaches Kurt’s situation with a lot of reproach.

“Let me be clear, Kurt, I am still very mad at you for doing the catfishing thing in the first place, but this must be one hell of a revelation for you.”

“It is.”

“Are you still going to confess? You ought to.”

“How?” Kurt asks, sounding desperate, “You were right. I have worked myself in a corner, but now it’s gotten even worse. I will break his heart.”

“Maybe honesty will pay off,” Mercedes says, “I don’t know. I meant what I said: leave me out of it. Still, I can give you advice, but this truly is a fucked up situation.”

Kurt doesn’t know what else he can ask of her. The fact that Mercedes is willing to give advice is already a big step.

“I promise you I won’t drag you along after this call,” Kurt says, “I just panicked and I didn’t know who else to turn to.”

“Okay. Thanks. Does Blaine really love you?”

“He said he does.”

“You said that he thinks he does. He’s in love with the idea of you, or Eddie.”

“What are you saying?”

“I think the best thing you can do is still own up. Shatter the illusion that you’ve created.”

“Then how do you explain my feelings?” Kurt asks her. After all, he’s told her that he’s also slowly realising that the feeling might be mutual.

“Kurt, babe, he never had to lie to you. He showed his true self. You’re the one with a fake account.”

“What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying, babe.”

“I am not in love with Blaine!” Kurt says, sounding very defensive.

“I never said that. You were the one who said, and I quote, ‘Mercedes, what if I’m falling for him too?’” Mercedes says, “Kurt, from what I have heard, you like Blaine, but Blaine doesn’t know he likes you.”

Mercedes is really leaning towards Kurt confessing. Maybe she’s right. It is a lose-lose situation anyway. If Kurt confesses, he’ll break Blaine’s heart, if Kurt keeps lying, he’ll lead Blaine on. Kurt’s already messed up big time, but he can’t allow himself to make it worse.

“I’ll think about it.”

Mercedes is silent for a while. Eventually, she says: “The longer you think about it, the longer it lasts, the worse it gets.”

And she’s right. Kurt knows what, but a part of him just isn’t ready to confess yet. He thanks Mercedes for her advice and he hangs up.