Kurt Hummel: I want to be your
friend again. So badly.
But I also know what I’m asking
of you.

Kurt Hummel: I walk around with
all this shame and guilt, yet I
selfishly want us to become friends.

Kurt Hummel: You said that you’re
fighting with yourself over this.
So am I. I shouldn’t accept
your forgiveness, but I want to.

Kurt Hummel: Look at me, dumping this
on you at 3am. You’re probably
asleep. I’m sorry. I just can’t
sleep. I haven’t slept since you
told me that you miss me.

Kurt Hummel: That, and I’ve had 5 cups
of coffee. I’m not a smart man.

Kurt Hummel: But apparently
coffee makes me delirious and it makes me
word vomit and I will def regret sending you
all of this in the morning, but that’s
a problem for me in the morning.

Kurt Hummel: I miss our daily
chats and the photos we sent each
other and our talks about music.

Kurt Hummel: I wish we had gotten
to know each other under different
circumstances, but I fucked it all up.

Kurt Hummel: I don’t believe in higher
powers. I’m not spiritual, or
clairvoyant or religious in any way.
But right now I wish I could just
use a wand and make everything
go away so that we can start anew.

Kurt’s in the middle of typing his next message when the screen changes. Blaine is calling him. They have each other’s numbers through glee. They’ve never used them before.

“Hello.”

“Blaine. It’s 3am.”

“I’m aware. My phone’s been blowing up with messages, so.”

“Sorry, I’ll let you sleep-”

“Kurt, chill, I called you. You didn’t wake me. I also have been losing sleep over all of this.”

“Oh.”

“And maybe we should talk, like this, not over Facebook. I didn’t expect it to be at 3am though, but it’s fitting after all these sleepless nights.”

“Blaine.”

“Sorry. Not funny. I know. I do hope that we can move on from this and that we can joke about this one day.”

“How can you say that? I did something despicable!”

“I know. I was there.”

“Blaine.”

“…”

“Blaine?”

“… Look, I told my gran what happened.”

“Does she hate me now?”

“She is mad at you, but since I forgive you, she’s trying as well. She does regret giving you the extra salted caramel chocolate bar.”

“I still can’t understand how you can forgive me-”

“Stop. Hey! I am already fighting myself over this. I don’t need your shit as well!”

“…”

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out, but I told you at the mall that I don’t need you to understand. All I know is that this is what’s good for me and I’d rather not have you question my life like that.”

“I wish I was that knowledgeable about myself.”

“Trust me. It’s new for me as well.”

“What do you want? With us, I mean.”

“…”

“That’s a long sigh.”

“We miss each other, yeah? We were great friends and I have forgiven you for the catfishing thing because I want to move on from that bad part in my life. Like how I moved on from my parents. But this time I don’t want sacrifice something that brought me joy.”

“You’re comparing me to your old clothes?”

“In a way. I lost something I loved when I tried to move on. I don’t want to do that again. But I’m also still angry. I told you, I’m fighting myself.”

“No, I get that. I want to be your friend again but I also hate myself for asking that of you. A part of me feels like I don’t deserve your friendship at all, but another part of me also wants to give myself some slack and move on. After all, you’ve forgiven me. It’s me who can’t forgive… me.”

“...”

“…”

“Maybe… Maybe we can try. To be friends, I mean. If you want to.”

“Yes!”

“…”

“Sorry, that was too much, wasn’t it?”

“No. I am also kind of excited about the idea. I shouldn’t be, but I am. Maybe I should just let myself feel. Same goes for you, I think. Tell our inner turmoil to shut up. We don’t owe each other shit, but yeah, we can try.”

“A second chance, but with honesty this time.”

“I’ve always been honest. At least on Facebook. To you, I mean.”

“I know.”

“But I get what you mean.”

“…”

“Also, even if I can’t fully trust you yet, I do trust Mercedes.”

“Wise.”

“She wouldn’t nudge us towards reconnection if it were a bad idea. I think she has our best interests in mind. I… I am really happy that her brother came home for the summer, got into chocolate making, and that we became friends over the summer.”

“I am too. If there’s one good thing that came out of this mess, then it’s that the two of you are friends now.”

“She would’ve helped me with my homework even if you hadn’t catfished me.”

“Hmm. True.”

“If there’s one good thing that came out of this mess, then it’s that the two of us met.”

“Blaine.”

“Okay, yeah. Sorry, God, I just- this is what I meant. I don’t want to fight myself right now, though. Let me just say that, even if I might regret it tomorrow.”

“For what it’s worth, I feel the same. I just wish we’d become friends under different circumstances. But maybe with this new start… Well, who knows where this ends.”

“Yeah. No promises. We try, that’s it.”

“…”

“That’s quite a yawn, Kurt. We should sleep. With this kind of resolved I might finally have a good night of sleep again.”

“Hah. Same.”

“Goodnight, Kurt.”

“Goodnight, Blaine.”

Things aren’t magically fixed, but it’s a start. Kurt and Blaine start to talk more at school and they hang out afterwards as well. The two of them go to the Lima Bean with Mercedes and Tina and it’s a lot of fun now that Kurt and Blaine no longer try to avoid talking to each other. They go thrift shopping for new clothes and after Kurt profusely apologised to Bubs for hurting Blaine, he’s welcome at Blaine’s home all the time.

Kurt used to have movie nights with Rachel and Mercedes, but Rachel’s been replaced. She still acts as if Kurt’s betrayed her and now that it’s obvious that Kurt and Blaine are becoming friendly, her grudge has worsened.

They get noticed outside of glee club too, but now Kurt and Blaine have each other’s backs in the hallways.

Kurt’s still fighting himself. One part absolutely adores having Blaine back in his life, but the other part has the guilt. Kurt really tries to let go of his guilt. Blaine basically insists on it. But they’re not the same. Blaine needs to move on from this. Kurt can’t and Blaine knows that. Guilt is not the best foundation for friendship. Or any kind of relationship. Kurt’s this close to breaking down.

Unexpectedly, Blaine’s the first one to break down.

They’re in Blaine’s room. There’s tension and suddenly, Blaine blurts out: “I can’t do this anymore!”

“What?”

Blaine keeps rambling. “I thought I could. I thought I just could get over myself and be friends with you, but every time I look at you…”

Kurt hangs his head. This is it. This is the moment all his efforts are going into vain. Blaine is going to tell him that he can’t stand looking at Kurt without feeling angry.

But then Blaine surprises him again.

“… every time I look at you, I am reminded that I am really in love with you.”