Blaine closes his front door behind him and he slides down against it. Once he’s on the ground, he closes his eyes and he hides his head between his legs.

He couldn’t get out of Kurt’s room fast enough. He’s high on… well, it seems to be adrenaline. He was so focused on getting away that the entire bus trip to his place feels like it happened within a second. But now that he’s in the comfort of his own temporary home, time finally slows down again and he takes a deep breath.

What just happened?

Blaine knows what happened, though. He kissed Kurt. He totally, wholeheartedly kissed Kurt. Kurt, another guy. And Blaine did it because he wanted to. He wanted to know what Kurt’s lips feel like. He wanted to grab Kurt by the neck and pull him closer. He wanted it all and fuck, he still wants it.

Blaine wants Kurt.

Blaine leans his head against the door. This doesn’t make sense. He shouldn’t want this, but even though Blaine bolted out of Kurt’s room, a part of him wants to go back and kiss him more. He remembers the feeling of Kurt’s lips against his. He remembers how soft the hairs on the back of Kurt’s head are. He remembers the way Kurt kissed him back.

“Argh!” Blaine screams out.

He puts his head in his hands and he tries not to think about it, but he can’t. He wants Kurt. He does.

But he can’t.

Because he’s straight and he has a girlfriend, but not only that, but Blaine’s been low-key homophobic about the idea of Kurt and Sunil being together. And Blaine knows that Kurt is also planning on going to London to visit his ex, which pisses Blaine off too.

Wait.

Or maybe it’s not the fact that Kurt’s into men. Maybe it’s the fact that Kurt’s not into Blaine.

Blaine feels the panic rise.

He should be happy to realise that he is not homophobic, but the alternative feels somehow worse, which is a shitty thing to think, but everything about this is shitty and weird and just wrong. Everything about this is plain wrong. Blaine isn’t gay, or bi, or all the others words he’s learnt about when he saw a flyer at the queer organisation at Yale. It’s not like Blaine can really remember the flyer, because the moment he saw it, he put it away. He couldn’t deal with it for some reason.

Blaine likes girls. He’s only ever liked girls. Not only that, but he’s in a quite accepting area. He even has gay colleagues back home! If Blaine were gay, he would’ve known, right? Fuck, Blaine did theatre in high school and college. He can’t do theatre and not realise he’s gay, right?

He went to an all-boys boarding school, for God's sake. He knew gay people back then. Two of his high school friends are a couple. Not only that, but he knows guys messed around with each other in the dorms. If Blaine had wanted that, then he could've easily done that! He did notice all the attractive guys in his classes, but that was jealousy, right?

Sure, he can count the amount of girls he’s kissed in his life on one hand, and okay, he never really liked kissing them-

But he has a girlfriend!

Well, you never liked kissing her either, a voice in his head says and Blaine feels like he’s spiralling even more, because it’s true. Kissing Quinn is fine, just fine. There isn’t really anything to it. He likes it because he likes having someone close to him, but it’s not the epic romantic feeling from the movies.

Maybe that’s it! Maybe Blaine just wanted to kiss Kurt because it’s been too long since he kissed anyone.

But deep down, Blaine knows he’s kidding himself. How else can he explain the way he couldn’t stop looking at Kurt during the movie? How else can he explain that he just wanted to be closer to him? How else can he explain the fact that this was the first kiss that actually made him feel something? This wasn’t the same as kissing Quinn, or any other girl in college.

Blaine can’t really describe it, but it just made sense. It felt good. It’s as if his mind went Oh, there you are. This was the big thing he’s been looking for forever.

He’s finally found it.

And now he feels awful.

Quinn calls that night, as usual. The calls have decreased, since she spends most of her time with Denise, but she still calls.

Blaine turns off his phone.

When Blaine powers on his phone the next day, he sees that he’s gotten a missed call from Kurt as well. Maybe he should just stop answering his phone all together. He’s not ready for this.

Blaine’s slept terribly, but he still puts some effort into looking alright. He has to go back to work. He has to see Tadeja.

Maybe that’s the distraction he needs.

Blaine might not be the best at his job, but he knows how to run a business. That’s what he’s studied for and that’s why he came here. That’s what’s expected of him, and that is what he knows.

Things only get worse from here on. For the next three days, Blaine goes to work and ignores everything else. He doesn’t go outside for the fear of running into Kurt, which is ridiculous, but Ljubljana is a small city and he’s gotten to know it with Kurt by his side, so everything reminds him of him.

He’s stopped answering his phone. It’s a good thing that he also has a work phone, so that he can keep up to date with what’s going on with his company. Work gives him a purpose. Work keeps his mind away from what Blaine’s started referring to as The Incident. After all, that is what it was. It was just an incident.

It’s not that he can fully stop thinking about Kurt, though, no matter how he tries. Every now and then, when he’s alone with his thoughts, he remembers how it felt to kiss him, and every time he remembers it, it sends him into a spiral of confusion and guilt.

Of course, Blaine’s isolation cannot last.

Five days after The Incident, Blaine finds Tadeja waiting outside his office.

“Dober dan,” Blaine says with a smile, but the smile fades when he sees the serious look on Tadeja’s face.

“A certain Quinn Fabray called the office. Apparently her boyfriend hasn’t been responding to her texts and calls in days.”

“Ah.”

“As your associate, I advise you to call her back. Now.”

And Tadeja, bold as ever, shoves a phone into his hands. Quinn is on the other side of the line. Seeing no way out, Blaine goes into his office. Tadeja gives him a supportive pat on the back as he passes her, and Blaine wonders what Quinn’s told her.

Once he’s in the office, it’s time to face the music.

“Quinn?” he asks.

“Oh my God,” Quinn lets out a relieved sigh. She sounds on the verge of tears and Blaine feels an absolute pit in his stomach. “Finally.”

“Quinn, isn’t it in the middle of the night in LA?” Blaine tries to keep his voice calm. He knows he’s messed up.

“You haven’t texted! You haven’t called! I was worried sick!” Quinn yells. Blaine has to move the phone away from his ear. “I am literally about to travel to the other side of the world and them my boyfriend fucking ghosts me! What happened?”

“I… I’m sorry, Quinn. I really am.”

“Blaine, talk to me.”

Blaine tries. He needs to confess, because she’s right. It’s mid-April. She’ll be here in a few days. He needs to tell her that he cheated on her.

Oh fuck.

He cheated on her. With a man.

“Quinn, I-I… I can’t.”

It’s silent for a while.

“Who hurt you?”

That snaps Blaine out of his thoughts. Quinn’s tone’s shifted and now she’s ready to drop-kick anyone, but Blaine also feels even more guilty. His super supportive girlfriend is here to comfort him.

“Look. Quinn. I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, but I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Are you still expecting me?”

“Of course.”

Quinn is silent again. It feels like the silence goes on forever, but eventually she sighs.

“Okay. Okay. If you don’t want to talk, I will not force you. Just know that when you do want to tell me, I’m here for you.”

Blaine wipes away his tears. He didn’t even realise he started crying. Quinn is so loving and that makes all of this worse. But maybe this is what he needs. He needs to be reminded that Quinn is the girl for him.

“I miss you,” he croaks out, “I can’t wait to have you here.”

After all, once Quinn is here, everything will make sense again. Everything will go back to normal.