July 8, 2023, 3:26 p.m.
Ljubim te: Mistake
T - Words: 1,581 - Last Updated: Jul 08, 2023 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Dec 01, 2022 - Updated: Jul 15, 2023 210 0 0 0 0 Warnings (Story): Internalised homophobia
Naya died 3 years ago.
I was in Ljubljana when it happened. I went to Kongresni trg when I found out, just to sit and process it, while also listening to Heather Morris’s Showmance episode, which was weird timing. So weird. I remember that they even showed her photo on the news in the bus (because yes, the busses had screens).
“Do you have everything?” Blaine asks.
“Yes, you keep asking,” Quinn sighs.
“Look, I am just nervous,” Blaine says. In his defence, this all happened so quickly. Quinn’s leaving earlier than planned. The two of them were supposed to leave for Rome, but instead Quinn is going home.
Blaine helped her pack, but they were in such a rush that he’s worried.
“She’ll be fine, Blaine,” Kurt cuts in and Quinn shoots him a grateful look. Blaine’s shoulders drop and he lets himself relax. Kurt is right. And even if Quinn’s forgotten something, Blaine can always send it to her. Or take it with him when he goes back to Los Angeles.
“I am the one who should be nervous,” Quinn says with a self-deprecating laugh.
Blaine grabs her by the shoulders and he makes her look at him.
“Lucy Quinn Fabray,” he says, sounding serious.
“Lucy?” Kurt mutters in the background, but Blaine and Quinn ignore him for now.
“Blaine Devon Anderson,” Quinn says back in a similar serious tone, and all three of them crack a smile. Quinn quickly glances at Kurt and she gives him a questioning look.
“Oh, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel,” Kurt says.
Blaine wants to continue his inspirational speech, but when he opens his mouth, he just starts giggling. The next thing he knows, all three of them are laughing.
This is kind of weird. Blaine is dropping off his recently-dumped-by ex-girlfriend together with his new boyfriend, but Quinn looks more relaxed. She is still Blaine’s best friend and Blaine marvels at the fact that Kurt and Quinn bonded in such a short time.
“Ah, damnit, you know what I want to say,” Blaine says through his laughter, “So get on that plane and go get her, Quinnie.”
“Thanks Blaine,” she says and she pulls him into a hug.
“No, thank you,” Blaine tightens the embrace and the two of them stand there for a couple of seconds, taking it all in.
Quinn kisses his cheek as a goodbye. It isn’t the first kiss they shared in an airport, but it’s the first real one. This kiss reflect what their relationship actually is. They’re best friends, platonic soulmates, and each other’s confidants. There is no need to add romance to it. There never was.
They’ve talked about it.
Of course they’ve talked about it, even though it’s only been a short period of time. Blaine was surprised to hear that Quinn’s also queer, but once he heard more, it made sense. Quinn did talk about Denise a lot. Quinn was around Denise all the time.
It’s silly, in hindsight. The signs were there all along, but Blaine and Quinn just didn’t want to see them.
They do now. It’s weird and new, but they decided that they want to be happy. That’s why Blaine encouraged Quinn to go to Denise.
“You told me to follow my heart. I am telling you to do the same.”
That’s why they’re now at the airport.
“What if this is a mistake?” Quinn asks during the hug.
“It isn’t,” Blaine says, “Or at least, I don’t think it is. Loving Kurt isn’t a mistake either.”
“It better not be,” Kurt says with a mock serious tone and the three of them laugh again. Quinn pulls away to give a quick hug to Kurt and then it’s time to go.
“You have-”
“Yes, Blaine, I have everything,” Quinn says playfully. Then she turns to Kurt. “He’s a handful, but he’s worth it.”
Kurt and Blaine share a smile. Kurt takes Blaine’s hand in his and the two of them beam towards Quinn. Blaine still can’t really believe all of this happened, but he’s happy that it did.
They say their goodbyes, and Quinn promises she’ll send a message once she’s back in LA.
Then it’s really time for Quinn to go.
Kurt and Blaine wave goodbye and once Quinn’s out of sight, Blaine leans against Kurt. He’s exhausted. He didn’t know he was so tense until now.
“That went well, right?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“This wasn’t weird, was it?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Yeah?”
Kurt laughs.
“Blaine, she’s your best friend. You know her better than I do. If you think it is alright, it’s alright.”
“You’re right.”
“I always am,” Kurt jokes.
Blaine’s happy to see Kurt every day again. The two of them go back to the way it was. They’re joined at the hip and now, it’s even better.
Now, there’s kissing, for example.
And Blaine loves kissing Kurt. He loves being with Kurt. It’s new, but it already feels so familiar.
Quinn and Denise have also gotten together, and everything is perfect.
There is still so much to figure out, though. For example, Blaine doesn’t know what to tell his family. He and Quinn decided to unpack all of that once Blaine’s back in LA. They need to do something with their apartment as well. People will have questions, but as long as Blaine is in Ljubljana, that can wait.
Kurt and Blaine did decide to tell Sunil and Tadeja, who are over the moon. Tadeja was a bit shocked, but Sunil just gave Blaine a knowing look and a big hug.
“Welcome to the family,” he said, and Blaine almost wanted to cry.
Kurt noticed and he squeezed Blaine’s hand afterwards.
Blaine’s also glad that no one comments on the fact that Blaine only just found out that he’s gay, even though it was obvious at moments. Honestly, it was so obvious at many moments in Blaine’s life, but he just didn’t want to see it. Kurt doesn’t hold it against him, neither does Sunil, and it’s a relief. That’s another reason Blaine’s nervous about coming out. People will either be very surprised, or not surprised at all, and he doesn’t know what to think of that yet. It’s easy to say that Blaine shouldn’t care about what other people think, but his entire life he’s been aware of the way people perceive him and what they expect of him. That doesn’t just go away that easily.
He’s especially nervous to tell his family. Blaine doesn’t think his parents will be against it. His parents don’t mind gay people, but what if, just like Blaine did, they do mind if he is the gay person?
Blaine’s never had to think about all these things, and now it’s crashing down on him.
He is fine with telling Kurt’s dad, though. They kind of have to. Kurt and Blaine were originally planning on going back to America in July, but they decided to stay for August as well, so that they can travel. Kurt wants to explain to his dad why he’s extending the stay.
They’ve already gone to London to visit Kurt’s ex, which went really well all things considered, but they want to see more of Europe. Kurt’s lease will end in July, but Kurt can stay with Blaine. Most of the time, he already spends the time at Blaine’s.
So yes, Blaine is nervous about this. People always claim that coming out doesn’t mean that things will change, but that’s not true. Things will change, but he’s also looking forward to these changes, since Kurt will be at his side.
“Let’s go to Open Kitchen,” Kurt suggests. It’s the last Open Kitchen of May. Blaine’s been to Open Kitchen before, but he’s always down to go back.
And now, he needs to indulge. He’s up for some sweet štruklji, a Slovene dumpling.
Kurt and Blaine just came back from some Ljubljana Pride pre-events. Ljubljana also celebrates Pride in June, but the programme and other smaller things are already announced at the end of May.
Blaine told Kurt that he’s not ready to go to something like Klub Tiffany, but when Kurt asked him if he wanted to come to one of these pre-events, he said yes.
He’s so glad he said yes.
It was freeing, honestly, to be able to just hold Kurt’s and to be surrounded by so many others like him. Ljubljana isn’t extremely queer unfriendly, but sometimes it’s better to be safe than sorry. Blaine’s never had to deliberate whether or not he would hold Quinn’s hand in public, or whether the waiter would look funny if the two of them would arrive at a restaurant for a date, or whether they should kiss. This is also completely new for him and it’s hard.
Kurt’s had years to learn with this crap, but Blaine’s just thrown into it.
Being around all these people who understand it made Blaine feel something. He can’t quite put his finger on it yet.
Kurt and Blaine take their sweet štruklji to one of the tables at Open Kitchen and Blaine asks Kurt what it was.
Kurt has a funny look on his face.
“Sweetheart, only you can decide how you feel.”
“But what was it like for you, when you went to a gay bar or whatever?” Blaine asks. He does feel silly for asking, but he knows Kurt won’t judge.
“I felt home. I felt like I belonged. Free, you know?” Kurt says wistfully.
Blaine nods. Yes, that makes sense.
“It was welcoming and validating. I felt seen. I was able to just be,” Kurt adds and that’s it. That’s exactly it.
“Yeah,” is all that Blaine says, because he’s overwhelmed by his own emotions. Kurt gives him a smile. He gets it.
“Happy pre-Pride, Kurt,” Blaine says.
“Happy pre-Pride, Blaine.”
If you want to read the mentioned conversation between Blaine and Quinn, then let me redirect you to Je tik pred vami, the Quinn/Denise story. Yes, I wrote a companion piece, because not only did I want to explore how Quinn and Denise got together, I also wanted to explore what made Quinn the kind and supportive Quinn we see in this story. I really, really liked writing Blaine/Quinn (AS FRIENDS!).
The companion piece also gives you more to read while waiting for chapter 24. It isn’t finished yet. I am, like, 95% done with it, but of course I get stuck on the very end. So who knows, maybe I will be able to publish it tomorrow, or maybe not.
Oh, also, I fucking love Open Kitchen. It is one of the best parts of Ljubljana and I actually posted some of my Open Kitchen dishes here.
Anyway, thank you all for sticking around and for commenting (I read them all), kudo’ing and reblogging. I usually don’t reply to comments unless I have something super specific to say, but I appreciate you all.