June 13, 2023, 2:44 p.m.
Ljubim te: Dispose
T - Words: 1,695 - Last Updated: Jun 14, 2023 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Dec 01, 2022 - Updated: Jul 15, 2023 211 0 0 0 0 Warnings (Story): Internalised homophobia
Hello folks, it’s me again! I am almost done with my thesis, which gave me some time to write and boy am I glad I did. To celebrate, I have two chapters for you. I actually wrote the majority of chapter 15 over 6 months ago and I’ve been sitting on it ever since, so I am glad we reached this point.
After all, I also started on chapter 14 around the same time, but I only just wrapped it up. I got stuck on it a lot. My thesis took a lot of time, and when I was done writing each day, I didn’t feel like staring at another Word document. That, and the news that some people are feeding unfinished WIPs to bullshit like ChatGPT demotivated me to write. I am not aware of anyone using my fic for this, and if it happens, please don’t tell me because it would devastate me, but it should go without saying that people do not have permission to use my work for AI crap.
And lastly, Eurovision 2023 put Slovenia on the map and in Europeans’ minds, but look, Capre Diem slaps.
Kurt gives up after three days of phone calls and text messages. He’s even considered stopping by Blaine’s apartment or office, but that feels a bit too much. After five days, he’s certain that he’s not going to see Blaine anymore and he tries to accept that.
Although Kurt thinks he deserves answers, because what the fuck just happened? How could Blaine just dispose Kurt like that, like he’s trash?
Okay, okay, that is too harsh, Kurt thinks to himself, Blaine did not treat you like trash.
Still, that doesn’t make this current treatment less painful.
He does find comfort in the fact that Sunil cannot reach Blaine either, so it’s not just Kurt he’s ignoring. Kurt and Sunil miss their third Boni buddy. Now, they just need to get Boni with the two of them.
“What the hell happened between you two?” Sunil asks.
Kurt lets out a sigh.
“I’ll let you know once I figure it out myself,” he answers, “He’s been ghosting me as well.”
“Have you asked Tadeja?”
Kurt shakes his head.
“Not sure if I should. I don’t know her well enough and I also don’t know if Blaine knows her well enough.”
“They are friends, I think.”
“Are they?” Kurt asks. He doesn’t mean to sound rude. Tadeja is very kind and Kurt also likes hanging out with her. But from what Kurt’s gotten, Tadeja is a work friend and a mentor of sorts. He doesn’t know if she’s someone Blaine would confide in.
Kurt does not want to call Tadeja and raise questions. Kurt’s pretty sure that Blaine does not want people to know that they’ve kissed and yes, that stings, but the closet is the closet and Kurt would rather set himself on fire than potentially kicking someone out of it.
“I think Tadeja is cool,” Sunil says with a shrug, “Might even ask her out.”
“Really?” Kurt asks. He did not see that one coming.
“Yeah,” Sunil says and Kurt’s glad to have a subject they can talk about that doesn’t involve him or Blaine.
“Tell me everything!”
Kurt realises that he misses Blaine. It’s weird, because he didn’t see Blaine every day, since they’re both busy, but they would at least text occasionally. Kurt didn’t realise that Blaine had become such a big part of his life in Ljubljana until now.
Kurt isn’t angry. He was never angry. But he does want answers, because right now, Blaine is leaving him in the dark and Kurt doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to feel about it.
Is he supposed to be angry?
Is he supposed to be sad?
Or maybe, is he supposed to be sympathetic?
Kurt remembers the look on Blaine’s face when he realised what was happening and a part of him recognises the shock and despair. A part of Kurt remembers it.
The temperatures can rise a lot in Ljubljana, and it isn’t even summer yet.
After classes, Kurt crosses the Three Bridges to go to VIGÒ, an ice cream shop. He and Blaine passed another VIGÒ in Koper, but it was too cold back then.
Koper.
That feels like ages ago.
Honestly, the moment Blaine kissed him already feels like ages ago, although it’s only been a week. Kurt still doesn’t know how to feel.
He’s thought a lot about it in the past week. Kurt and Blaine became friends, but Kurt’s realised that he does not know Blaine. He thought he did, but he was wrong. He had no idea that Blaine was potentially struggling with something.
Of course, Kurt knows for sure, but he just remembers how upset Blaine looked when he ran off. Kurt remembers the first time he realised he liked a guy and it felt wrong. He now knows that it isn’t wrong, but back when he was a kid, it became clear that in order to be normal, he couldn’t be gay.
Kurt’s trying to accept that Blaine is dealing with something. He tries to tell himself that there is nothing he can do. Blaine’s made it very clear that he has no interest in talking to Kurt about what has happened in his room. But Kurt also wishes that Blaine would reach out, so that Kurt can help him.
And again, maybe this is all in Kurt’s head.
Maybe Blaine isn’t struggling at all. Maybe he doesn’t want to speak to Kurt for other reasons.
But Kurt doesn’t know.
Damn, maybe he shouldn’t go to VIGÒ. If the fact that he and Blaine walked past another store can trigger such a reaction, then maybe Kurt should just turn around and go to the Cacao. He turns around and he’s about to forget this whole VIGÒ thing when someone calls his name.
“Kurt?” he hears.
Kurt looks over his shoulder and he sees that Sunil and Tadeja have left VIGÒ.
Right, he knows that Sunil’s asked Tadeja out.
Kurt hadn’t really thought about Tadeja a lot. He’s certain that Tadeja cannot help him, although he does wonder if Sunil’s said anything to her.
“Hey guys,” Kurt says cheerfully.
“Are you also looking for a way to cool down?” Tadeja nods towards the entrance of VIGÒ.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect this hot weather, especially after a cold winter.”
“Eh, you got here in February. It was a lot colder in January,” Tadeja says with a shrug. Then she shoots a quick glance towards Sunil.
“Oh, am I interrupting your date…” Kurt trails off.
“We’re about to go to Tivoli Park, but we can chat for a moment,” Sunil says.
Tadeja nods.
“How’ve you been?” she asks.
Kurt searches Tadeja’s face for a hint of an ulterior motive. Is she asking this because she knows something has happened between him and Blaine, or is she asking this because she is a lovely person? Probably the second, because Tadeja is lovely, but she is also on friendly terms with Blaine.
Kurt decides to give some generic answers about classes and the weather. Tadeja asks how the preparation for the play is going and Kurt’s glad to tell her. Sunil also chips in every now and then, because he’s heard Kurt rehearse in his room, to Kurt’s embarrassment.
“No, no, man, you sound amazing. You can monologue like crazy,” Sunil says excitedly, “Take the compliment!”
“Ah, okay,” Kurt laughs. He doesn’t want to come off as vain, because that won’t help him in this industry, but Sunil is right and he should be able to celebrate small moments. He needs it, especially in this weird time.
“I was so happy when Blaine told me that you wanted me to see it,” Tadeja says, and Kurt tries to keep smiling.
Of course, they cannot ignore Blaine. Kurt once again tries to figure out if Tadeja has a particular reason for bringing him up.
“I’d love for you to be there,” Kurt says earnestly. After all, no one back home can see it, so he’s happy that he’s found some people here.
And then he thinks: fuck it. He’s dancing around the topic he wants to discuss, and Tadeja is right here. This is his moment.
“How is Blaine?” he asks innocently. Sunil gives him a knowing look over Tadeja’s shoulder.
“Good, good,” Tadeja answers, “Busy. We both are. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there was an issue with sexism on the work floor, but I am currently combatting it, and he has my back.”
Kurt does know of the issue. It’s why Blaine came to visit him.
“So we’re working on that, and of course, the workflow doesn’t end there. We’ve decided to not partner with those sexist pigs, which is a big change in our business plan and…”
Tadeja continues to talk about her work and Kurt nods attentively, although he doesn’t really follow. He never quite understood what Blaine’s company actually does and Blaine never felt the need to explain it.
“… so that is why we’re kind of stressed. It’s a good thing Blaine has a break coming up.”
“He does?”
Tadeja gives him a weird look.
“Yeah. Quinn’s coming, remember?”
“She is?” Kurt is unable to hide his surprise. Quinn is still coming?
“Yeah?” Tadeja says as if it’s obvious, “They’ve been planning this visit ever since he left America. I can imagine he’s nervous. It’s finally happening! I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Of course.”
Kurt and Sunil look at each other and Sunil sees that as his cue to cut in. He tells Kurt that it was a lot of fun running into him, but that they have to go and continue their date. He makes it look like he’s the one who wants to get out of the conversation, not Kurt, and Kurt appreciates it.
They say their goodbyes. When they’re out of sight, Kurt looks at VIGÒ before sighing and walking away.
Damn, you know Kurt’s really going through it when he skips VIGÒ.
VIGÒ is also my favourite ice cream shop in the city. There were other ice cream places, but VIGÒ had a lot of interesting flavours. I particulary liked the VIGÒ flavour and the lavender flavour. They also switch it up every now and then.
While sparsely researching for this chapter, I actually found out that VIGÒ opened a second store in Ljubljana. And guess where? Kongresni trg! The place to be!