“Am I gay?”

Kurt’s taken aback by this sudden question. He just wanted to chat with his boyfriend before he’d meet his parents in the city, but Blaine has other ideas.

“Good morning to you too, Blaine,” he says, “Are you?”

“I was asking you!”

“Uh, only you know the answer to that.”

“I think I am.”

“Well, good.”

“Alright.”

Kurt waits for a follow up, but it remains silent on the other side of the line, so he carefully asks what had led to this question.

“Quinn doesn’t know whether she’s a lesbian.”

“Okay.”

Another beat of silence.

“Well. That’s it.”

“Oh.”

“Or, well, actually… it made me think, because how does all of this work? How do I know I’m gay, cause I told Quinn she doesn’t have to know, but then why do I?”

“Well-”

“And I know you’re right and it’s all up to me and I even said something similar to Quinn and I agree with it, but this is also all so confusing and weird cause the two of us genuinely thought we were totally straight half a year ago so how is it possible that I do know these things and she doesn’t, so do I even know anything or am I rushing into this, or maybe not, because Quinn said that all that matters to her is that she loves Denise and I get that because at the end of the day I know for sure I am madly in love with you, so there is no doubt that I am not straight, but then what gives that I also don’t have doubt that I am gay but she apparently has and should I even care because in the end I am happy with myself, but she seemed upset when I assumed she’s a lesbian, so I feel really bad about everything and now I have the feeling I have done something wrong in my journey because shouldn’t I be more confused like Quinn, because this all came out of nowhere for me as well.” 

Kurt needs a moment to process this and Blaine also sounds a bit out of breath.

“Good morning to you,” Kurt says again, “Did you mull over this all night?”

Blaine makes an affirming hum.

“Quinn just left for work, since she needs to give an important presentation, so I now can talk to you. We were planning on figuring stuff out with the apartment and then I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin it, I’m certain of it,” Kurt says back.

“I miss Ljubljana. Everything made sense there,” Blaine exclaims.

Kurt understands what Blaine means. Back then, he didn’t feel to need to think about these things. Kurt didn’t either. They were so caught up in just being together and the future could wait.

“… I just wish you were here right now,” Blaine eventually says and the feeling is mutual.

“You’ll be here soon,” Kurt reassures him.

“Only for a week,” Blaine laments and Kurt sighs.

It doesn’t have to be this way, he knows that. The downside of coming back to New York in August is that there’s a short time of his free period left. In September, it’s time to study again, but it will also mean that his advisors will be on the campus and then Kurt can discuss his plans about LA.

Now that Blaine sounds so upset that they’re apart, Kurt almost wants to admit what he’s planning, but he also doesn’t want to get Blaine’s hopes up.

Kurt walks out of his room and he’s greeted by the sight of his roommates. He hasn’t had the time to catch up with them, even though they’re relatively close, but everyone’s been busy. Kurt’s also on his way out now, since his dad and Carole are already at Time’s Square.

“Out again?” Rachel asks.

“Yup, sorry.”

“No worries,” Rachel says, “If my dads would be in town, I’d also spent all my time with them.”

“Although yesterday you said you needed to call someone?” Santana says with a smirk, “Who is he?”

“Har, har, I wish it was a someone,” Kurt says, aiming for a joking tone. No one knows he’s dating anyone. He and Blaine should discuss what to tell Kurt’s roommates, since he’ll be staying with Kurt for his visit, but Blaine has other things on his mind.

“Don’t tease, Santana,” Rachel scorns, “Maybe he also needs to work on his future!”

Santana rolls her eyes in an exaggerated way.

“Future?” Kurt prompts.

“Oh, it’s wonderful, Kurt!” Rachel gushes, “While you were gone, I got an agent! I’ve been auditioning left and right and I might’ve gotten something.”

“Congrats!” Kurt says, genuinely impressed. He had no idea, but well, he and Rachel were both busy with their lives.

Rachel nods proudly.

“That’s why I also haven’t been home a lot. At least I have a better excuse than Santana.”

“Pardon me?” Santana raises an eyebrow, “I don’t prioritise my career over my love life.”

“Right,” Kurt cuts in, because he can see that Rachel wants to say something. He has the feeling the two of them have had a similar conversation in the past few weeks. “How’s Brittany?”

An uncomfortable silence follows. What is it with uncomfortable silences this day?

“Kurt, Brittany and I broke up,” Santana says quietly and Kurt’s eyes widen, “And I got a new girlfriend.”

“… Woah.” ‘Woah’ is an understatement. This is something Kurt did not see coming. Brittany and Santana are (were?) heads over heels into each other. “What happened?”

“So, the person who subleased your room?” Santana starts and Kurt nods.

“Dani?”

He’s met her briefly before he moved to Ljubljana.

“Yeah, she’s my new girlfriend.”

Kurt wants to say more, but then his dad calls, probably asking where he is. His phone call with Blaine took longer than expected, then this happened, so of course he’s late.

Santana sees that Kurt’s phone’s screen is lighting up.

“Sorry.”

Santana shrugs.

“It’s fine, but I’ll be at Dani’s tonight.”

By the time Kurt arrives at Time’s Square, he already feels like most of the day passed, but it’s not true.

“You are a sight for sore eyes, kid,” his dad says. He holds out a cup of coffee and Kurt’s forever grateful.

“I feel weird,” Kurt says.

“Oh, dear, are you not well?” Carole asks, sounding concerned.

Kurt shakes his head.

“No. Just weird. I’ve only been back for a short period of time, and on one hand, nothing’s changed,” he sighs. It’s true. It’s almost weird how easily he’s fallen back into this life here in New York, as if all those months in Slovenia just happened like it was nothing. “But my life is mostly the same. For others, things have changed and I notice.”

Kurt quickly explains how Rachel’s advanced in her career and how Santana has a new girlfriend. And these are only two people. There are many more people who he needs to catch up with. He’s just prioritising his family now, which is understandable, but that means he has many more people to see later.

“Look, you were on the other side of the world, Kurt,” his dad puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Of course, things continue on this side as well. But the people here saw these changes gradually, for you it’s gone from zero to nothing.”

But maybe Kurt should’ve kept more in touch with the people here. He was so caught up in just being away from everything and experiencing something new, that he forgot about his life here.

It’s what Blaine said on the phone. Ljubljana feels like an alternative world, but now they’re brought back to reality.