2020

Me: this is Blaine I changed my number when
I moved to the Philippines a few years back

Me: but yeah, no more blocking

Blaine groans. Should he bring that up? He’s about to delete the message when he sees that Kurt’s typing.

Kurt: hello

Well, that isn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it also isn’t the best.

Me: I still have your coat btw

Bella’s returning Blaine’s coat. She’s already given him hell for ditching her and Adeola. But then Blaine told Bella why he left and she was very understanding and weirdly enthusiastic.

Kurt: oh, no worries! It wasn’t my coat

Me: … did you steal someone’s coat???

Kurt: lol it’s Yannick’s but I broke up
with him and then I stole his coat
when he got angry so no worries

Blaine’s eyes widen. That is a lot of information in one single message.

Kurt: feel free to burn it

Kurt: actually, no, think of the environment!!!

Me: sorry to hear about Yannick

Kurt: don’t be. It’s fine.

How do you text your former best friend who you’re possibly still in love with?

Blaine’s lying on his couch, listening to music. He’s wondering what to do with all of this. Honestly, Blaine should’ve expected this weirdness and confusion. He can’t look inside Kurt’s head, but he assumes that Kurt’s just as torn up about the situation as he is.

He replays yesterday’s conversation.

They’ve missed each other. Blaine made Kurt laugh over a shared memory. Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Blaine closes his eyes, but he can feel the tears prickling. His heart feels heavy. It’s been quite some time since he’s last cried over his broken friendship. He has. He’s cried a lot. It got easier over the years, but the pain and regret never left. Losing Kurt was the most painful break-up he’s ever experienced. People don’t talk about how friends can break your heart.

Ex-friendship is so weird. It’s a rollercoaster. Blaine blocked Kurt. Blaine still thinks of him on his birthday. Kurt made him feel like crap. Random videos on the internet make Blaine want to show them to him. Their last two years of friendship were terrible. Blaine never wanted to lose him. Blaine’s tried to move the fuck away from him. Kurt’s part of some of the best memories of Blaine’s life.

This damn song from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie isn’t helping. The Wall In My Head is a brilliant number, but it only makes Blaine cry more.

And don't fall, I'm finding my feet
There's shoes to be filled
But this wall, is harder to beat
When it's one you helped build

It’s true that Blaine hurt Kurt. Blaine will always feel remorse for how he acted in the last two years, but Kurt wasn’t a saint either and he knows that. Blaine felt like crap when they were friends.

Maybe Kurt’s right. They shouldn’t be friends anymore. They weren’t good for each other. Kurt made it pretty clear in his final twenty minutes long voice message. He ditched Blaine, because he knew he had to choose for himself.

Blaine, Bella and Adeola are walking through the Koopgoot, doing some Christmas shopping. The three of them are staying in Rotterdam for the holidays, but they’re all sending presents home. Blaine’s actually very happy that he’s not going to be alone.

Once again, he’s so happy that he got paired with Bella during the Eurekaweek. And Adeola’s really nice too.

“We need to go there!” Bella says excitedly and she points towards the KKEC. It’s filled with typical gifts and, as they say here, hebbedingetjes. There a lot of plush cats in the shop window.

Blaine walks around and he laughs when he sees a rainbow coloured bar of soap, called the Gay Bar. He’s about to pick one up when someone beats him to it.

“Well, we keep running into each other,” Kurt says.

 Blaine shrugs casually, as if he didn’t spend this morning crying over this person.

“Great minds think alike,” he says effortlessly.

“You’re also shopping for Christmas presents?” Kurt asks, “Or late Sinterklaas?”

Blaine never really got the hang of this Dutch tradition, so he shakes his head. Sinterklaas sounds cool. He’ll be in the country for a couple of more years, so he has time to learn.

“Christmas.”

“Right,” Kurt says with a nod. Then he raises an eyebrow. “Nice coat.”

Blaine can feel himself turn red. He’s wearing Yannick’s coat. It was an accident. One moment, he was crying in his living room, the next he was rushing downstairs because Bella and Adeola had arrived. He picked up the first coat without looking and he didn’t realise his mistake until they passed the Etos.

“Sorry about Yannick,” Blaine says lamely.

“I told you that it’s fine,” Kurt snaps.

Blaine instinctively flinches.

Kurt’s face falls. “Shit. I- fuck, I didn’t… Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.”

“No. It’s not,” Blaine begrudgingly agrees.

“I’m also sorry. For yesterday,” Kurt says, sounding nervous.

“You mean when you said that you didn’t want to be friends again, and then you just walked away?” Blaine mutters. He needs to calm down.

“Yes. That. I should’ve at least demonstrated why I said that. It was kind of shitty to just dump that on you.”

“I understand why you said it,” Blaine says sadly. This truly is a rollercoaster. His emotional state goes between anger, sadness, remorse and hope in less than twenty-four hours. “You explained it seven years ago.”

“I never heard anything back.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear anything from me.”

“… Fair. What are your Christmas plans?” Blaine adds hastily, just trying to move away from this. He can do friendly chit-chat, but not a deep dive into the past, especially in the middle of the crowded KKEC.

Kurt clearly needs some time to switch between topics, but then he smiles warmly. “Dad and Carole are flying to Rotterdam.”

And Blaine’s smiles mirrors Kurt’s. The Hummel-Hudsons. God, he misses them as well. The thought of seeing them again makes him feel warm with affection.

“You?”

“Staying here. I can’t really split myself in two, with one half being with my mom and the other with my dad and Cooper. But Bella is staying too.”

At the mention of her name, Bella’s next to Blaine. She’s holding Adeola’s hand.

“Ready to go? We need to go back to Lush, it’s an emergency!” Bella says happily, unaware of what she’s just interrupted.

Or so it seems.

She gives Blaine a quick wink. Blaine doesn’t understand what she’s trying to say. At that same time, a woman throws an arm around Kurt.

“Ready?” she says. Blaine doesn’t know her, but Bella and Blaine exchange their ‘yes, another Asian!’ look. Kurt sees them looking.

“Oh, Blaine, this is Femke, my roommate. Femke, this is…” Kurt trails off. The woman, Femke, gives him a curious look. “And old friend.”

He’s not wrong.

Honestly, life is full of fucking surprises, because he didn’t plan on having drinks with Bella, Adeola, Femke and Kurt. He doesn’t even fucking know this Femke, but she’s talking everyone’s ears off and Adeola loves it. Femke’s Dutch and she’s moved here from the south and she’s very appalled to hear that most of them haven’t seen a lot of this country yet.

“We need to change this!” Femke says. Her Dutch accent is kind of grating. “How about a trip to, I don’t know, Maastricht? Nijmegen?”

“That would be amazing,” Adeola says excitedly, before anyone can say anything else. She turns to Bella. “Right, babe?”

Bella gives them a thumbs up.

“Kurt, come on!” she shakes Kurt, who laughs.

“Sure.”

Then everyone turns to Blaine.

“You’re in?” Femke asks.

Blaine quickly glares at Kurt. Then to Bella, who gives an encouraging look.

“Sure. Why not?”