2016

"Did you miss me?" Blaine is looking good. It's summer and Blaine is back home. Of course, he's carrying a huge bouquet of daisies. "I promised you I'd come back. Sorry it took me longer than expected, but school has been crazy busy and the parents visited us in New York for the holidays, so we didn't have to come back to Lima.

I actually got here three days ago, but I spent some time catching up with Lillie. She didn't make it to the second wedding reception- which was amazing, by the way. Kurt looked stunning.

I'm doing well. New York finally feels like home. When I returned, I was afraid it would be awkward between me and Kurt, but no. We're amazing.

NYU is better for me. Remember what I said years ago when I went to New York to audition for NYADA and I considered not doing it? Kurt told me not to shy away from my greatness. But I'm not, despite not following musical theatre courses only right now. I feel like NYADA made me shy away. The options are limited there. NYU is way better. Elliott spent the first two weeks making me socialise. He's a fun guy.

Speaking of NYADA, you would not believe what happened. I was working on something for class when Carmen called me. She offered me a new chance, since Rachel got one too. I rejected. I rejected one of the most prestigious schools in America.

Why?

For what I just said, that's one. Two, because I was still bitter. They never called me when I was at my lowest. They never cared for me. The pamphlets keeps saying that NYADA looks after its students, but I found out they do not.

I rejected my former dream school and I don't regret it at all.

I passed my first year and now I'm here on a well-deserved break. Mom probably doesn't want me to go back, but I guess that is the empty nest syndrome. According to Kurt, his parents are the same.

Oh, and I need to tell you about what happened with Wes. So, we threw a party for David to celebrate him moving to New York, and when Wes tried to pop the cork of a bottle of champagne, since Wes is 'go big or go home', he-

Wait a second.

Is that-?

… No, it couldn't be.

Oh holy sh-

"I am back and you would not believe who just arrived at the cemetery. Oh wait, maybe you could.

Your mother and sister!

And let me tell you, Lolo, Kayla has grown so much. Gosh, she must be eighteen now, or seventeen. I haven't seen them in six years. I haven't seen them since your funeral. I've always known they came here, because every now and then I saw fresh flowers and new drawings, but I haven't actually seen them in so long.

Your mom recognized me immediately. I mean, I did spend a lot of time at your place.

We had one of those movie moments where two people just look each other in the eye, trying to figure out if it's really the person they think it is, and when they recognize each other again, they rush towards each other and hug.

Well, only Kayla and I hugged.

Your mom was too stunned to see me after all those years. I haven't heard her voice since the morning you killed yourself and she called me, telling me to go to the hospital. She actually burst into tears and started yelling at me about how I've grown. She put new flowers on your grave and we went to your house. It looks so different now, Lolo. I barely recognized it. I hope you don't mind they turned your room into Kayla's craft room.

The house is emptier. Your dad left, you died, and according to Kayla, Eloise died two years after you. Oh man, I miss that dog.

I don't believe in Heaven, but I hope you two are judging me together from wherever you are.

We talked. Apparently your mom changed careers and she's a personal trainer now. Yes, I had the same reaction. But according to her, it's going quite well. Kayla is becoming an artist. She showed me her work and I'm really excited. She also had her first exposition a year ago. I wish I'd known back then, because I needed some colour in my life back then.

It was called life's too short. and of course you played a role in it. She talked to parents and other people who lost a young person. She painted avant-garde portraits of young people who died. She says that her series is open-ended, so I handed her a photo of Finn and Carole's phone number.

She's planning on going to an art college. Duh.

They asked about me, and your mother beamed with pride when I told her I moved to New York. They were both shocked to hear that I was married, though, but many people have a similar reaction. I'm only twenty-one after all.

I also told them about this.

Kayla couldn't believe it. She was ashamed that I spend more time at the cemetery than her, but I told her that it's okay to grieve in her own way. Her art is her outlet. Your mom was torn. I could see she thought it wasn't normal to do this, but she was also very pleased to hear that I am still here for you.

But then they asked if people know.

Well, Lillie does.

Wes and David do.

And so do Sam and Tina.

But as your mom pointed out, Kurt does not.

Did you ever wonder why I never brought him here?

This is my spot. Back in New York, Kurt has his own spot he goes to too, and I don't ask. He doesn't ask about this either. I know he knows that I'm 'at my spot', but I also know he wonders where I go. I mean, I wonder where he goes to too.

But maybe I should tell him?

He is important to me. He's more important than anyone in this world. You are important to me too. For seven years, I've been visiting you.

I know Wes wants me to do it. David is neutral. Sam and Tina don't care. They just want me to tell him if I want to. Everyone seems to agree that they won't tell Kurt.

Like I said, Lillie didn't make it to the second wedding reception, so I never had to tell Kurt about how we met.

I never… I mean, this is so personal. This wasn't exactly a secret, since five people know, but this… this is mine.

But Kurt…" He rests his head in his hands.

"But what if he freaks out about me talking to the dead?" Blaine never really thought about that. Kurt doesn't believe in ghosts. Neither does Blaine, but what if Kurt will think Blaine thinks he's talking to Logan's subconscious or whatever.

Dead is dead. That's what Kurt always says.

"His mother died. Of course he sometimes says things like 'hey mom, it is me again' when he visits her grave, but it is nothing like this. Kurt doesn't do that stuff. Gosh, why did I never think about this?

Because I never thought about telling Kurt.

Oh god, what if he thinks I'm not at my space after all? What if he thinks I-" Blaine takes a deep breath. "No. He trusts me, just like I trust him. Mrs. Julio reminded me of that. But what if?" Blaine groans in frustration. Kayla and Mrs. Bandwill never should've brought this up.

But they were right. And so was Wes.

Logan is too important to Blaine to ignore.