Aug. 16, 2012, 2:10 a.m.
I Can Be
I Can Be Dangerous: Chapter 24
E - Words: 9,003 - Last Updated: Aug 16, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Apr 16, 2012 - Updated: Aug 16, 2012 1,575 0 12 0 0
Chapter 24
Blaine opened his eyes and looked at his right – Kurt was asleep. He smiled at the adorable sight. He always liked watching the other boy sleeping. He was so peaceful…
As if Kurt felt Blaine watching him, he opened his eyes, stood up, and left the room. Teaser, Blaine thought and sat down. He wanted to follow him but he couldn’t.
“Blaine!” he heard the scream. It echoed on the walls.
“Kurt?” Blaine started to panic.
He had to save Kurt. He had to be with him. But his legs won’t let him. All he could do was fall on the ground and crawl.
“I’m coming, Kurt!”
“Blaine!”
He was too slow. The apartment was full of screams.
“Kurt!”
“Blaine!” there was a weak answer.
Finally Blaine saw him. But he was too late – Kurt was on the ground, his eyes opened but unable to see anything. A big rat was eating his face.
“Kurt! No!”
“Blaine, Blaine, it’s a nightmare, just a nightmare,” Kurt tried to calm him down. “It’s not real, not real…”
Blaine was breathing heavily. He could hardly see Kurt even though the boy turned the light on. All he could see was Kurt’s lifeless figure with half eaten face. It was his fault Kurt was dead.
“Kurt…” he tried to say something.
“Sh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream,” Kurt smiled and caressed his hair. “We are in a hospital; nothing bad can happen to us. Try to sleep, okay? I can sing for you if you want.”
“Yes, sing, please,” Blaine whispered and closed his eyes.
<~*~>
“Go away!” Blaine shouted but the rat didn’t move.
He crawled closer as fast as he could. Finally he reached them and the rat disappeared. Blaine looked at the boy he loved and started crying.
“Kurt, please, wake up,” he sobbed. “I need you.”
“You don’t need me,” a cold voice answered. He saw Kurt’s lips moving. “You did this to me. It’s all your fault. Do you see where I am because of your selfishness? It was all about you; what you wanted. You wanted me; so here, have my dead body, do whatever you want with it.”
“No, Kurt, I love you,” Blaine shook his head, hands covering his ears.
“You don’t love anyone, Blaine Anderson. And nobody loves you,” the voice was getting louder.
“That’s not true, I love you!”
“You don’t deserve love. You only hurt people around you.”
“I promise, I won’t hurt you!”
“You already did.”
“No, no, NO!”
The doors opened and Kurt ran into the room. He jumped on the bed and shook Blaine’s shoulders.
“Blaine, wake up!”
Blaine’s eyes opened immediately. “I didn’t do it, no didn’t!”
“Blaine, it’s me, Kurt. We are in your apartment, you are safe here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” Kurt sad, tiredness in his voice.
It had been two weeks since Blaine woke up. Every time he slept he would have nightmares. He hadn’t told anyone what they involved but sometimes he screamed Kurt’s name. If not, he would scream something else. It was always screaming that woke Kurt up. Harsh words followed that.
“I’m not five; I can see where we are,” Blaine snapped.
“I know,” Kurt said. “Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?”
“Leave me alone, Kurt.”
“It’s okay, I can stay here for a little,” Kurt smiled at the boy. “I could sing for you if you want.”
“Which part of ‘leave me alone’ did you not understand?” Blaine snapped.
Kurt gave him a painful smile. “Yeah, I will go. Goodnight,” he said and kissed Blaine’s forehead. “I love you.”
Blaine didn’t say anything.
<~*~>
Mornings were even worse. Kurt always wanted to help Blaine to get ready for the day but he was too independent. It started with asking to leave him alone, later in evolved into shouts. By the end of week three he started insulting Kurt.
“As your supervisor I must say that you are doing an awful job,” he said one morning getting ready. “You let all your emotions show on the surface. It’s very unprofessional. I don’t think you will make it even into the Orange Squad.”
“Probably not,” Kurt whispered giving Blaine his socks.
Blaine didn’t take them but rolled his wheelchair towards the drawer. “You are useless. I told you not to help me but you don’t even understand that. I don’t think the C.A.T. needs agents like you, who can’t take direct orders.”
“They don’t,” Kurt nodded.
“I don’t think you should stay in the C.A.T. after the sorting. I mean, it’s dangerous to be on a mission with you if you ignore what you are told to do,” Blaine continued.
“Yeah,” Kurt turned around to leave the room.
“Think about it.”
<~*~>
Kurt left the apartment. It felt relaxing to leave the place where he was not welcome anymore. Where he felt lonely. He seriously considered going back to his dorm room but he couldn’t leave Blaine alone.
“Ouch!” he fell on his butt after running into Finn.
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t looking,” his brother said and helped him on his feet. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Kurt smiled.
Finn sighed. “Physically.”
“Physically,” Kurt repeated.
“How is Blaine doing?” Finn asked.
“Better than expected. The doctor said with the progress he is doing he should be able to walk soon.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.”
They didn’t say anything else until they reached the cafeteria. Kurt saw a few people by their usual table, grabbed something to eat, and went to join them. Finn came after a few minutes, having been more picky about breakfast.
“Kurt, you look awful,” Tina noticed. After Christmas there were days when she didn’t say a word but with time she became more and more chatty.
“Thanks,” Kurt uttered. “Nice to know.”
Rachel took his hand. “Kurt, what’s going on?” she asked, concern in her voice. “Is it about Blaine?”
“He is doing better,” Kurt said quickly. “He should be walking in no time.”
He gave them a smile but nobody was fooled by it.
“He hasn’t been eating in the cafeteria since he got out of the hospital,” Mike spoke.
“He simply prefers quietness now,” Kurt explained.
“How are his nightmares?” Santana enquired.
Kurt sighed. “Same. If only he let me sleep with him and hold him while–”
“Wait, what?” Finn asked. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Kurt,” Finn gave him a stern look. Somehow it reminded him of Burt.
“I’ve been sleeping on the couch since he got released from the hospital. Blaine asked me not to sleep with him,” Kurt said silently, tears threatening to fall. “I don’t know what to do. He is not the same person anymore.”
Mike looked at Kurt, a sad look on his face. “Give him time, Kurt. It should be fine.”
“I just don’t understand. I want to help him but he won’t let me,” tears started running down Kurt’s face but he quickly wiped him. It wasn’t the best place to cry.
“At least he still talks to you,” Jeff said coldly and stood up. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll see you later.”
They all watched him leave in disbelief. Jeff was always the cheerful one, always talking non-stop.
“Jeff has changed,” Sugar stated the obvious. “And I’m not talking after Christmas. It’s been going on for a while.”
They all fell into silence trying to assess the change.
“Did any of you know who his father was?” Tina asked after a few moments.
Noah shook his head. “We only knew what he had told us – his father was an agent and he basically grew up in the base. That’s all. I wanted to confront him about it but I didn’t have a heart to do it. Just look at him…”
<~*~>
Jeff was furious. Yes, Blaine had been through a lot but it wasn’t a reason to ignore his best friend. Especially when he needed Blaine’s advice. And when he himself could use a good advice how not to fuck up. That’s why Jeff found himself in front of Blaine’s apartment. He hoped that his friend would open the doors. To his surprise, Blaine opened immediately.
“Hi, Jeff,” the boy smiled. “Come in.”
Blaine rolled back and let confused Jeff in. They both settled in the sitting room.
“How are you, Blaine?” Jeff asked gingerly.
Blaine shrugged. “I’m better. I can move my legs a bit already. I should be able to walk soon. I’m happy about that.”
“I’m happy too,” Jeff smiled.
“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked, having spotted worry in Jeff’s eyes. “I hope it’s not about me. I mean, there is nothing to worry about.”
Jeff rested his elbows on his knees. “I wanted to talk to you about something serious. About the agency.”
Blaine frowned. “Okay…”
“So I’ve had a reason to be suspicious for a while,” Jeff started but struggled for words. “Something is going on and I don’t like it.”
“Um, you do realise I have no idea what you are talking about, right?” Blaine asked crossing his arms over the chest. He was tired after another restless night and wanted to get some sleep.
“Did you know that statistically more agents have disappeared or died in the last half a year than ever before? Compared to the same period of time the number increased by twenty eight percent. That’s a lot.”
“How did find that out?” Blaine asked even though he already knew the answer.
“Hacked into one of the systems. Unfortunately I still can’t get into Tom’s computer… It would answer all the questions,” Jeff told him.
“Maybe there was some mass mission and a lot of agents died there. Things like that happen all the time, Jeff. It’s normal,” Blaine shrugged. Jeff didn’t notice the worry in Blaine’s eyes.
“You are right, yeah… I was just playing an agent,” he smiled a little.
Blaine giggled. “Playing? Kurt told me how awesome you were during… you know. You are an agent, Jeff.”
“Not in my father’s eyes,” he said and lay on the couch as if he was a patient and Blaine was his psychologist. “I always wanted him to be proud of me. But I’ve always been a failure.”
Blaine rolled closer and took Jeff’s hand. “Listen to me, you are not a failure. Nobody else could do all those tricks with computers. That’s a talent. And it’s useful even though he can’t see it. He is crazy if he doesn’t value what he has. He should be happy to call you his son.”
“He hasn’t been treating me as his son for years now. I think he tells everyone he doesn’t have one. I wouldn’t be surprised. He is ashamed of me after all,” Jeff said, lump in his throat.
“Then he doesn’t deserve you,” Blaine said, squeezing Jeff’s hand.
Jeff sighed, relatively calmer. “You are right. I’m lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have you.”
“Me and Kurt,” Jeff said and felt Blaine retreating his hand. “Blaine, I know you. I know what you are trying to do so just stop. I can see that it’s hurting you.”
Blaine rolled away. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not trying to do anything.”
“Not sleeping together? Seriously? What’s next? Kurt moving back to the dorm room?”
“Maybe it would be for the best,” Blaine shrugged.
“Are you serious? Kurt loves you and you love him,” Jeff said kneeling in front of Blaine. “Don’t reject him now. You need him, he needs you. You won’t be happy without each other.”
Blaine backed away. “It’s between me and Kurt. Now I would like to get some rest. Could you close the doors on your way out?”
<~*~>
Another week passed and Blaine had made a huge progress. He could almost walk now. The doctor was impressed but not surprised because Blaine had always been in a good shape and his stubbornness was enviable.
Finally he felt strong enough to go back to his supervising duties. Until then Kurt had spent time with Tina and Mike who suggested Tom that it would be better for Kurt to stick with them rather than appointing someone new who didn’t know Kurt at all.
Kurt was excited when Blaine told him he would join him for his lessons. He was afraid Blaine may not want to be his supervisor anymore. So once Blaine told him, Kurt was hoping it would help them to bond again.
The first lesson they had together was history. They chose to study the Age of Discovery. Kurt read a few chapters in a book and Blaine started asking him questions.
“What did Columbus discover?”
“America though he thought it was India.”
“Correct. When was the Treaty of Tordesillas signed?”
“1494.”
“Correct. Who discovered the sea route to India?”
“Vasco da Gama. Wait, no, Ferdinand Magellan. Or was it da Gama after all?”
“Correct. When was the Age of Discovery?”
“15th century.”
“Correct. When–”
“Wait, also 16th.”
“Correct. When did Columbus first went to America?”
“Last year.”
“Correct. Where was Vasco da Gama from?”
“Atlantis.”
“Correct. Why didn’t Magellan finish his journey around the world?”
“He fucked a mermaid, got syphilis, and died.”
“Correct. Why–”
“Blaine, did you hear anything I said?” Kurt asked, clearly annoyed.
“Correct.”
“Blaine Anderson!”
“What?” Blaine looked up from the book.
Kurt rubbed his eyes. “You didn’t hear my answers. You are supposed to help me, you know.”
“Well, you should know the answers yourself. That’s the point of this, isn’t it?” Blaine snapped closing the book. Kurt didn’t even flinch – he was already used to it.
“Please, just tell me what I should do and I will do it. Tell me how to help you and I will do whatever it takes to make you better. Please…”
“For the starters forget my last name. You are not supposed to use it,” Blaine said angrily.
Kurt nodded. “Sure. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have used it.”
“Exactly. The lesson is over,” he said and left Kurt alone.
<~*~>
Blaine was always moody. Kurt was always sad. Others couldn’t help but notice that. They kind of divided into two groups: one group supported Blaine, the other one supported Kurt. But they all agreed that the boys belonged to each other.
“Kurt should give Blaine more space,” Mike said when they were eating dinner. Blaine still didn’t want to eat with them, Kurt had told them he was not hungry.
Wes snorted. “If I were him, I would give Blaine all the space possible. Look how he is treating Kurt.”
“I haven’t seen Kurt like this since high school,” Finn uttered. “I was thinking of talking to Blaine and–”
“Finn!” Rachel looked at him in disbelief. “Blaine has been through a lot. He was tortured, almost died, and couldn’t move his legs for a while. You can’t just go and tell him he is being an asshole to Kurt. I know you are his big brother but you can’t–”
“Kurt has suffered as well, okay?” Santana cut in. “You haven’t seen him. We have been with him since he came back to the base and Finn has been with him since the moment Blaine got caught. It hurt to watch him.”
“I’m not saying that Kurt didn’t have his share of negative emotions–” Rachel started.
“Rachel,” Tina said silently. “Kurt thought Blaine would die. You should know how he must have been feeling. After all, how many times has Finn’s life been in danger?”
Sebastian, who for once joined them, cleared his throat. “That’s why agents shouldn’t date. Too messy. It was very unprofessional of Blaine. I don’t understand how he made it to the Purple Squad.”
“By being the best of the best maybe?” Sugar mocked him putting a piece of carrot in her mouth. “I’m sure Blaine is dealing the best way he knows. I trust his judgment.”
Finn threw his cutlery on the table. “That ‘best way he knows’ is hurting my brother! He is being selfish! He thinks he is the only one suffering!”
“Finn, calm down,” Mike said, looking at Finn with concern. “Kurt is not a baby, he is going to be fine.”
“How can you say that?” Tina glowered at him. “Imagine I started acting like Blaine. What would you do? Leave me alone and hope I would get better on my own?”
“Of course not, I–”
“Exactly! And you say that what Blaine is doing is okay while Kurt is the wrong one. Yes, Blaine needs time. But it’s not okay if he spends that time alone, locked in his head, drown in negative thoughts. I’ve been there, remember? I shut everyone down. It’s never ‘the best way’, trust me. He needs someone and it's Kurt.”
Santana nodded. “Whoever had seen them before would understand that Kurt is the only one who can help Blaine now. But he must be really patient because Blaine right now is a real pain in the ass.”
“Kurt is coming,” Wes whispered and emptied his plate. “Hi, Kurt.”
“Hi,” the boy answered.
“I thought you were not hungry,” Finn said while Rachel wiped ketchup from his chin.
“I’m not. Just needed to talk to Sebastian and I knew he would be here,” Kurt said and sat down.
“What did you want to talk about?” Sebastian asked curiously. They weren’t very close with Kurt.
Kurt inhaled deeply before speaking. “I just saw Sarah. She told me that Blaine had told her he wouldn’t supervise me anymore. I took it as a hint…”
“I don’t get it,” Sebastian frowned. He wasn’t the only one confused.
“I took my stuff from Blaine’s apartment and moved back into our dorm room. Just wanted to let you know,” Kurt didn’t even bother so smile. “I’ll see you later.”
They all exchanged confused looks.
“Well, here goes the patience,” Sebastian whistled and Santana kicked him.
<~*~>
“You did, Blaine, stop denying it,” Kurt’s lips moved and the voice filled the room. “You hurt me and you will hurt me again.”
“Never,” Blaine sobbed, pulling the dead body closer and crying on its chest.
He didn’t notice when the rat came back. But it wasn’t alone. There were five on them. Five big rats. Suddenly Blaine was dragged away from Kurt. He tried to fight but he couldn’t. The pests started eating Kurt’s body again.
“No!” Blaine screamed and woke up.
But Kurt didn’t come this time. There was nobody to calm him down, nobody to tell him that it was going to be okay, that he was safe. He didn’t notice when the tears started streaming down his face until he was actually sobbing.
<~*~>
Not long after that Blaine started walking with crutches. He was ecstatic because that wheelchair had been getting on his nerves. But no matter how hard he tried to pretend to be happy he couldn’t fool Jeff.
“When are you going to start acting like a real man, huh?” he asked Blaine one day when they were sitting in the computer room.
“What am I doing wrong?” Blaine asked defensively.
“When was the last time you talked to Kurt?”
“Not again…” Blaine growled. “I don’t want to talk about him or to him.”
Jeff turned around to face him. “Well, I do. Where should I start? Maybe I should tell you how miserable he looks. But you have probably noticed that because you keep staring at him when you think nobody is looking. I could also tell you that he isn’t doing well in his classes because he is always distracted. Though recently he has been doing slightly better. Maybe Finn talked some sense into him. Oh, I could also tell you how he fell–”
“He got hurt?” Blaine asked, his heart beating faster.
“–out of his bed because he was having a nightmare. Seriously, if you just talked to him...” Jeff pleaded. He had been trying to talk to Blaine about Kurt for a while now but unsuccessfully so now he had to use his chance because Blaine was actually responding.
“First of all, I don’t have anything to say to him. Secondly, I don’t think he would ever want to talk to me anyway,” he shrugged as if it didn’t matter.
“Just try–”
“And say what? Sorry for being an ass?”
“That could help,” Jeff giggled and turned to type something. “Admitting the truth is always a good beginning of a conversation.”
Blaine shook his head. “It’s better this way.”
“Don’t give up on your love, Blainey. You deserve it as much as any other person. Actually, even more.”
<~*~>
Sarah: Pack some stuff for a week. You are going to the States tomorrow. Be ready by 8am.
Blaine got the text from Sarah and he was really confused about it. They couldn’t be sending him on another mission, not yet. Besides, it would be Tom contacting him and talking in private about it. Despite that Blaine started packing.
He spent another restless night and could hardly get up when he had to. He went to the hall seconds before eight. He was genuinely surprised to see that Sarah was not alone. Kurt with a suitcase was there as well.
“Good morning,” they both greeting Blaine.
“What’s going on?” Blaine asked, sensing that something was wrong.
“Kurt and I decided that you needed to change the scenery. You two are going to Ohio today for a so called ‘reading week’,” Sarah answered. “The car is waiting. And no arguing, Blaine.”
The boys didn’t say a word until they were in the plane. Once it took off Blaine couldn’t stay silent anymore.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked not looking through the window.
“Because I love you and I can’t stand watching you slipping away from me anymore,” Kurt said, casually looking at the safety rules in front of him. “The base is not the best place for you so I asked Sarah for permission for us to go to Lima.”
“How the hell do you know what’s good for me?” Blaine snapped.
“Listen to me, Anderson,” Kurt looked at him angrily. “I put up with your shit for more than a month now. I get it, you were hurt. But it doesn’t give you the right to treat me like a piece of shit. I’ve had enough of that in my life. Now I’m offering, even though you had no choice to decline the offer, you a peaceful week at my home where you are going to be able to relax. I’m doing it because I love you. I understand you don’t but I don’t give a fuck right now. So sit back and for once appreciate what I’m doing for you.”
“Kurt–” Blaine started.
“I don’t want to hear anything. It’s going to be a long flight and I want to get some rest because I haven’t had much sleep last night. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep now.”
“I don’t mind,” Blaine whispered.
“Good.”
<~*~>
“So this is where I lived before moving to New York,” were the first words spoken after the conversation on the plane.
The boys went into the house.
“I decided to surprise my parents. They don’t know we are coming,” Kurt smiled. His mood was much lighter now that he was at home. “Dad? Carole? Anyone home?”
There was no answer and they assumed the house was empty. They took the coats off and hung them.
“They must be at work. I will show you where you are going to sleep,” Kurt said and went to the guest room, Blaine tagging along.
“Are they going to be alright with me staying? I mean, if you haven’t told them–” Blaine asked. He always hated feeling like he was causing problems.
Kurt just shook his head. “They will be very happy to see me. And I can assure you they will be excited to meet you.”
Blaine just nodded.
“Get settled. Later we could go to the garage to surprise my dad,” Kurt said and left. But in a few seconds he came back. “If you need anything I will be upstairs.”
Once Blaine finished unpacking he sat down on the bed and thought of that time when he was supposed to be in that house, that room. If he had come to Lima for Christmas things would have been different. They would be happy, they would be in England, getting ready for another lesson or kissing. All the thoughts came to him at the same moment: Dave’s death, the new mission, leaving Kurt, Kurt going to Ohio, James sleeping in that room, the Christmas call, Kurt’s face after he woke up, Kurt holding him when he woke up from yet another nightmare. Once again he couldn’t hold the tears.
It took a while for him to calm down. He went to look at the mirror. His eyes were slightly redder but it was impossible to tell that he had just been crying. Luckily Kurt didn’t come earlier.
“Admiring yourself?” Kurt smiled when he came into the room. “I got you towels.”
“Thanks,” Blaine said and took them.
“No problem. So, change into something warmer and we can go to the garage then. It’s about time for my dad to close it but if we walk fast we will make it. Besides, he usually stays longer to finish with the last car anyway,” Kurt talked cheerfully.
Blaine had no idea why Kurt changed so suddenly. It was either acting or he was just happy to be home. He seemed more at ease. Blaine hoped he could soon feel that way as well. He gave Kurt a small smile and went to look for the clothes to wear. When he turned around again, Kurt was gone.
Blaine changed quickly and went to look for Kurt. The boy was standing by the doors already, waiting for him.
“Sorry,” Blaine said and put the coat on.
“Let’s go.”
They exited the house and Kurt locked the doors. They turned to the right and started walking without another word.
“Almost there,” Kurt said after some time. “Only–”
“Oh, look who is here,” a person who just appeared from around the corner said. “I didn’t expect to see you, Fagmel.”
“Get lost,” Kurt muttered.
“Who is this? Your boyfriend?” the boy laughed coldly.
“This is my friend,” Kurt said and Blaine’s heart throbbed painfully at the word ‘friend.’ “But it’s none of your business. Now leave us alone, Kyle.”
Kyle, Blaine thought. He had heard that name before. It must be one of Kurt’s tormentors from school.
“We are just passing by,” Blaine said calmly. “We don’t want any problems.”
Kyle looked at his watch and frowned. “You are lucky this time, fags. You better make sure I never see you again in my city.”
With that Kyle left. Kurt tried to compose himself. After the training he had already had he could kick Kyle’s ass whenever he wanted. But at the moment he had to face him, he felt scared, just like at school.
“Let’s go,” Blaine said and started walking. Kurt caught up with him and they fell into that uncomfortable silence again.
After a few minutes they reached the garage. “Don’t say anything,” Kurt whispered before entering even though it was unnecessary given that they hardly spoke.
Kurt spotted his dad leaning over a blue car and walked towards him.
“Jim, give me the wrench,” Burt said and extended his right arm.
Kurt took what his dad asked for and gave it to him.
“It’s the wrong one, Jim,” Burt sighed.
“I don’t remember changing my name,” Kurt laughed.
Burt rose quickly and looked at Kurt as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. The wrench fell out of his hand as he went to hug his son. Blaine smiled fondly at them.
“Wow, when? How? Is everything okay?” Burt started asking, not knowing if he should be worried or happy.
“Everything is fine, dad,” Kurt laughed as he pulled out of the hug. “We had the reading week in the university so we decided to take a break from everything.”
“We?” Burt asked and only then he noticed Blaine, standing a bit further.
Kurt motioned Blaine to come closer. “Dad, this is my friend Blaine. Blaine, this is my dad.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said. “Kurt has told me a lot about you.”
“In that case there is no need to call me Mr. Hummel. I really prefer Burt if you don’t mind,” Burt smiled at the boy. “I didn’t hear your last name.”
“Anderson. Blaine Anderson.”
Kurt was surprised to hear Blaine telling someone his real last name. Burt was surprised to hear that name for some reason. Blaine was surprised to see Burt’s surprise.
“Well, Blaine Anderson, it’s very nice to meet you. It’s great you found some time to come visit our family.”
“I’m very happy Kurt invited me,” Blaine smiled charmingly.
He knows what he is doing, Kurt thought watching how Burt reacted at Blaine’s words.
I need to get this boy alone, Burt thought.
Why is he looking at me like that? Blaine couldn’t understand.
“We are happy he did,” Burt nodded. “Oh, does Carole know about this?”
Kurt shook his head. “I didn’t tell anyone. Well, Finn knows. He wanted to come as well but he couldn’t.”
“That’s pity… Anyway, I’m going to finish with this car and close the garage for the day. It won’t take more than five minutes. Wait for me and we will all go home. Does that sound like a plan?”
“Perfect,” Kurt smiled.
Burt nodded and took the right wrench. Kurt went to show Blaine around.
“Your dad is lovely,” he smiled. “You are lucky.”
“Yeah. And he is very supportive. I have no idea what I would have been doing without him. After my mother died it was only us…”
Blaine smiled at him sadly. “I wish my dad was like yours.”
“Isn’t he?” Kurt asked. Blaine had never told him about his parents.
“I don’t know. I grew up in an orphanage. I don’t remember my parents,” he shrugged.
Kurt was taken aback. He never thought about such possibility. “Oh, I’m sorry…”
“Well, if they were drunks or drug addicts I didn’t lose anything, did I?” he smiled painfully. “At least I was taken care of in that place.”
“I’m sure your parents loved you and had a good reason to leave you there,” Kurt took his hand.
Blaine freed his hand and put it into a pocket. “It doesn’t matter. I have no idea why I started talking about it. Let’s enjoy this week.”
Kurt nodded feeling slightly more hopeful about the whole trip.
<~*~>
Once they got back home they found Carole at home, cooking dinner. She was equally as shocked as excited. They all had dinner laughing; Blaine and Kurt sharing some fake stories about their lives in England. Right after dinner Blaine excused himself and went to bed blaming it on the jet lag.
“What’s going on with the Anderson kid?” Burt asked glancing at Carole who covered her mouth in shock. “I thought you two were dating. I mean he was supposed to come for Christmas as your boyfriend but now you don’t act like that.”
Kurt sighed not noticing anything around him. “I don’t know, dad. He was quite distant lately. I don’t even know if we are together. I mean, we never officially broke up. But no, I don’t think we are together anymore.”
Carole looked at him confused. “So why did you invite him here? And why did he agree to come?”
“Well, he was really stressed about the exams. He is doing a master degree and it’s been very stressful. I was hoping that maybe if he forgot about everything for a week, we could get back together… Given that he is here, I assume he feels the same way.”
“You really like him,” Burt said. It wasn’t even a question.
“I love him, dad,” Kurt whispered, his head lowered.
<~*~>
Next morning Kurt got up early. It was Saturday and Carole didn’t need to go to work. For some reason Burt decided to stay at home as well.
“Good morning. Is Blaine still asleep?” Kurt asked when he came downstairs to the kitchen.
“Yes,” Carole nodded, making pancakes. “That jet lag can be an awful thing.”
Kurt nodded. “Luckily I slept through the most of the flight.”
“Good for you,” Burt said drinking coffee. “I heard Blaine shouting in his sleep. Does he have nightmares very often?”
Kurt thought about lying. But Blaine was going to spend the whole week with them and his parents would notice something was wrong anyway.
“Every night,” Kurt answered and went to get coffee.
“Those exams must be really awful,” Burt said, eyes never leaving Kurt.
“They are,” Kurt said but didn’t elaborate so Burt decided to leave it.
Carole put a plate with pancakes on the table. “So, Kurt, as you are here I was hoping you could help me to renew my wardrobe.”
Kurt looked up at her with excitement. “Yes, of course! That’s what I need right now. When can we do it?”
“How about we go to the mall today after breakfast?” Carole asked sitting down and putting a pancake on her plate.
Kurt opened his mouth to say something but Burt cut in. “I will take care of Blaine if he wakes up before you come back. Don’t worry.”
<~*~>
Blaine woke up much later than he had originally planned. It was almost noon and he scolded himself for not setting an alarm clock. Hopefully, Kurt’s family wouldn’t judge him for sleeping for so long. He quickly got up and showered. He didn’t know which room was Kurt’s so he decided to start with the kitchen first. He found Burt reading a newspaper there.
“Good morning, sir,” Blaine greeted the man.
“Morning, Blaine. And, please, call me, Burt,” Burt smiled over the paper. “How did you sleep?”
“Pretty well, the bed was very comfortable,” Blaine answered. “I didn’t plan to sleep until such a late hour though.”
“It’s normal. It used to happen to me all the time when I used to travel,” Burt said and stood up. “So, how about late breakfast? You must be starving. Sit down.”
Blaine did as instructed. “I am hungry, to be honest.”
“That’s great. Kurt has always told me I make perfect omelette. Do you like eggs?”
“I do,” Blaine said. He didn’t really know what else to say. He was always good at making a conversation but Burt always looked strangely at him and that made him feel uncomfortable.
Burt took everything for the omelette and set the pan to heat up.
“Where is Kurt?” Blaine asked.
“Carole took him shopping. They will probably be out for a while. It’s only us, men,” Burt smiled.
“Kurt is a man,” Blaine said defensively.
Burt put his hand up in a mock surrender. “I didn’t mean he is not. You are a man, I am a man, we are men, right?” Burt laughed.
“Yeah, sorry,” Blaine mumbled feeling embarrassed about his outburst.
“So, Kurt told me you were distant lately…” Burt started out of nowhere.
Now Blaine knew why Burt was looking at him the way he was. Kurt must have told them what kind of ass he was being towards him. Burt would probably kill him right there.
“I–” he started even though he wasn’t sure what to say.
“It’s normal after what you have been through,” Burt said casually, mixing the eggs.
“Um… What exactly did he tell you?” Blaine asked, surprised that Burt wasn’t ripping his head off.
“That you were stressed about the exams,” Burt shrugged and took some already chopped vegetables.
“I am,” Blaine nodded.
“Except that you are not taking any exams. As far as I know there are no exams in the C.A.T.”
“I… What?”
“Of course I haven’t been an agent for a while now but I know that there are no exams,” Burt smiled.
“You… I… Does Kurt know?” was all Blaine managed. He really did not expect any of that.
“Carole is the only one who knows in our family. Kurt’s mom knew as well,” Burt said pouring the mix into the pan. “Do you want to talk about why you have been acting strangely lately?”
Blaine swallowed audibly. “Not really,” he said looking at his hands.
“You have to talk to someone,” Burt said sitting down in front of the boy. “Who is better than an experienced ex-agent? Come on, spill.”
“Don’t tell Kurt anything,” he said before saying anything else.
“Like what? ‘Kurt, I used to be a secret agent and I talked to your boyfriend about–’ Wait, are you still together?”
“I don’t know. Kurt introduces me as his friend now so probably not,” he said sadly, eyes still on his hands.
Burt didn’t comment on that. “So, I’m listening.”
“How much do you know?” Blaine asked first.
“Tom called me on the Christmas morning to tell me what happened. Later he told me how it went. After that I called Sarah for more details. Let’s just say, I’m well informed.”
Blaine closed his eyes and started speaking. “When I was there Kurt was the only one I could think of. He was the only one I kept fighting for. I couldn’t die because I knew how much it would hurt him. I still can’t forgive myself for causing him so much pain. You should have seen his face when I woke up; it broke my heart. I can’t hurt him anymore. I thought if I was distant he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. We would break up and continue with our lives. Yes, I’m hurting him now but in the long run it’s for the best. I can’t get rid of the thought what if Kurt had been caught while rescuing me? I could never forgive myself for that.”
Burt eyed him for a moment. “Let me get this straight. You’ve been tortured and almost died.”
“Yes.”
“And now all you can think of is my son?”
Blaine looked up to see the man’s shocked face.
“I care very deeply for your son. I… I love him. That’s why I can’t be with him,” he finished silently.
Burt laughed. Blaine looked at him with disbelief. It wasn’t funny at all.
“Blaine, you do know my son, don’t you? If you do, you should realise that he won’t give up that easily. Why do you think he invited you to come here? The harder you try to get rid of him, the harder he is going to try to get you back. Trust me; he is just like his mother.”
“What happened with his mother? Was she an agent as well?” Blaine asked, curiosity taking over.
“No, she wasn’t. But I was just like you. I tried to run away from my feelings. Let’s just say, she didn’t let me do this. It won’t work with Kurt either. You can be a total jerk but he will still love you. He won’t give up on you. The question is, are you going to give up on your happiness?” Burt asked calmly.
Blaine stayed silent for a moment. “I will make him happy, I promise,” he whispered finally.
Burt smiled at him. “Your parents would be so proud of you.”
Blaine looked up quickly. “My… parents? You knew them?”
Burt nodded. “Your dad was my best friend. My partner in most of the missions.”
Blaine couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening. “He was an agent…”
“One of the best. As well as your mother. They met in the base, you know. It took a while for me to convince him to ask her out. After their first date he was on the ninth cloud.”
“What happened?” Blaine asked. He didn’t know if he was ready to find that out but he had been waiting for a long time to find out what had happened. It was now or never.
“They were killed. You were four year old.”
“Were they on a mission?”
“No. When your mother got pregnant, they both quit. After my wife got pregnant I quit as well. Somehow wrong people found them.”
“Were they caught?” Blaine asked, anger boiling inside.
“I rejoined the C.A.T. for my last mission. We caught them and sent them to prison.”
“Are they still there?”
“No,” Burt answered, eyes never leaving Blaine who was nodding to himself.
“What happened to them?”
“There were four of them. Each of them died exactly every six months,” Burt answered.
“You?”
Burt shook his head even though Blaine wasn’t looking at him. “Let’s just say, one guy there owed me. Just so you know, he wasn’t merciful to any of them.”
“Good.”
“We wanted to adopt you, you know,” Burt spoke after a few minutes. The omelette was already turning black. “The C.A.T. didn’t let us. We were looking for you but couldn’t find you anywhere. I didn’t expect to ever meet you. When Kurt mentioned having a friend Blaine I got my hopes up. When I saw you in the photos he sent us… Well, I didn’t believe that it could be you. But when I saw you in the garage and you told me your last name…”
That explains a lot, Blaine thought. He remembered Burt’s look.
“I can’t believe you are actually here,” Burt smiled fondly at him. “The way you look… It’s a perfect mix of your mom and dad – half of one, half of the other.”
Blaine felt a lump in his throat. “Do you have any photo? I have never seen them.”
“I have a few. This morning I took all of them and made copies. You can keep the originals. I will bring them,” Burt smiled and left.
Blaine stood up and threw the omelette away. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Burt was from the C.A.T., he had known his parents who were agents as well, his parents were killed and Burt got someone to kill those bastards, he wanted to adopt Blaine. The idea shocked him – he would have had a real home and family but he would have been Kurt’s brother in a way. He didn’t have time to think more about it when Burt came back.
“Here,” he gave Blaine a few photos.
In one of them there were three people. Blaine could recognise Burt even though he was much younger. In the middle there was a beautiful woman, smiling, leaning towards a man who looked equally happy. The other one was the same couple, the woman was holding a baby in her arms. The next one was a boy blowing candles on a birthday cake. There were a few others of his parents and people he didn’t know. Finally he looked at the last one. It was the same boy from the photo with a birthday cake but now he was older. There was a baby with him.
“Is this?” Blaine asked pointing at the baby; he knew that Burt would understand his unfinished question.
“Yes, it’s you with Kurt. You said he was smelly and wanted to give him a bath,” Burt laughed at the memory. “Kurt is half a year old, you are three years and a half in this picture. Just don’t tell Kurt.”
“I don’t remember any of this… I only remember my life in the orphanage.”
Burt smiled at him sadly. “It happens sometimes. I mean, you were old enough to remember but sometimes our memory does tricks.”
“Thank you,” Blaine whispered, two tear leaving his eyes.
“That’s not all,” Burt said holding an envelope in his hands. Blaine looked at him expectantly. “One day we exchanged letters. Not for each other but for our kids. Just in case something happens… I lost the hope to ever see you again but I was always quite sentimental so I kept it. You can’t imagine how happy I am to finally be able to give it to you.”
That being said Burt handed him the envelope. Blaine took it and before he knew what he was doing he hugged the man tightly. Burt hugged him just as tightly.
“Thank you,” Blaine whispered again.
“You are a great young man. I’m as proud of you as your parents would be,” Burt said as Blaine pulled away. “Now I know you are dying to read the letter. Go ahead.”
Blaine nodded and left the kitchen without another word. He went to the guest room and placed the photos into the suitcase so that Kurt couldn’t see them if he came into the room. Blaine sat down on the bed and sat there for a while looking at the envelope. He didn’t know if he was ready to read it.
You’ve been waiting for too long, Blaine told himself and opened it.
<~*~>
Dear Blainey,
Don’t call him that! I’m sure he wouldn’t like it.
Okay okay, I’m sorry. Let me start over.
Dear Blainers,
Richard Anderson, I’m going to kill you!
Dear Blaine,
Do you see what I have to put up with every day? It’s like living in hell.
You are still in the purgatory, darling. Please, say something more and I’m going to show you the real hell.
I’m shutting up.
Great.
My baby boy, if you are reading this, I must apologise for not being with you anymore. I just hope that we spent a lot of time together.
In that case I must be crazy by now. Sorry. She is giving me an angry look.
Also, if Burt or Elizabeth gave you this letter it means that you are involved in the C.A.T. I know that you are one hell of an agent.
Because your dad was amazing. I mean, your mom. I spelled it incorrectly.
Yes, your dad’s grammar is not the best.
So as I was saying, I know that you are a great agent no matter what.
We are very proud of you. Just look at yourself – kicking asses and saving the world. You are the best son we could have ever asked for.
And not only because of ass kicking that your dad likes so much. I know that you are a good person. I hope you haven’t lost that innocence that we can see in your eyes. Like today when you sang that lullaby to Kurt.
Ignore the fact that once he was asleep you fell on the ground and started crying. Then Kurt woke up and started crying as well. It wasn’t as innocent as your mom is trying to picture it.
But the singing itself was cute. You can’t deny that.
I’m not trying to deny it. I’m sure Blaine can sing pretty well even after all this time. But it was hilarious, admit it.
Okay, it might have been funny.
What kind of mother are you? Your son fell and you say it was funny? I can’t believe you!
I don’t know why I didn’t write this letter on my own. We could have written two separate letters or just ignored your existence.
It’s more fun this way. Don’t you agree, Blainers?
Stop calling him that!
Fine. Now, go on, we should add some more emotional stuff and you are much better at it.
Finally realising that I’m better at something?
You are definitely better at giving birth, I will give you that.
It’s not working. I think we will just give this letter to Burt for now on but after some time we should write another one.
Don’t you dare writing it without me!
How could I?
Just in case you get this letter, I want to tell you that no matter what…
…no matter…
…we love you. We will always love you.
Be careful, son. The world is dangerous. And you can be dangerous to the world. Make wise choices in your life.
Oh, just look at your dad – he is trying to be the smart one here.
Just copying you, my dear.
Now I will have to outdo you. The main lesson you learn in the C.A.T. is to never trust anyone. But that’s not true. Surround yourself with people you can trust, real friends like we did. We always trusted and you can always trust Burt and Elizabeth.
But don’t trust Kurt.
He peed on you a little bit. Get over it.
I can’t trust a person who peed on me.
He is half a year old baby.
Old enough. When I was his age I was more respectful.
Don’t listen to your dad, Blaine. I’m sure he used to pee on everything.
Make sure you don’t do that though.
Oh so you admit you used to do that! Hah!
What?
You didn’t deny the peeing part.
Wasn’t this supposed to be an emotional letter to our son in case we die? It doesn’t sound like it, to be honest…
Well, we added some loving bits.
Read all of this again.
Okay, we really need to rewrite it.
Exactly. Let’s finish here then.
You are right.
Blaine, we LOVE you!
We will always be there for you. Don’t forget – no matter what.
Whatever happens, we support and love you. I just wish we had more time together.
We loved every single second we had with you.
Always be yourself and listen to your heart.
With an unconditional love,
Mom and Dad
<~*~>
Blaine read the letter both crying and laughing. He had the most amazing parents in the world. He wished he could remember.
Wiping the tears away he read the letter three more times and only then he put it where he had put the photos before. He hid it just in time because he heard Kurt’s voice and someone knocked on the doors. Kurt came into the room.
“Hey, dad told me you were awake–” he said but didn’t finish because Blaine knocked the air out of his lungs with the tightest embrace.
“I love you, Kurt, I love you so much it hurts,” Blaine sobbed into his neck. “I’ve been waiting for so long to tell you that. I love you, I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you. I was an ass but I love you so much. Please, tell me you still love me.”
“I could never not love you.”
Comments
okay i just let out the biggest sigh... omg... and you had me panicking all day evil evil Lu Lu... i am accutally so happy right now KlaineICBD is okay and things are going to be alright
I'm sorry, my evilness took over xD xox
Favorite chapter so far? Why yes indeed
Oh thank you! xox
To be honest, I've been thinking about that if people want it... I mean, the C.A.T. verse is something I always enjoy writing. I don't know about the sequel yet but I promise I will continue writing the stories for 'I Can Be Unforgettable' :)
AAAAAAWWWHHHH :D What do you mean it's going to end soon!? Can we have a sequel? Please?
Oh, I will give you some medicine against your allergies, okay? :/ x
oh god. dont mind me. im not crying. i swear. i just have a twig in my eye or my allergies are acting up something. haha. amazing job lu. keep it up.
I will try to update ASAP :) x
-holds you tightly- Gah! that letter! it made this sick person happy :) cant wait for the rest!
OHH THANK GOD OR THANK YOU lol at the begining of this i freaked out cause Blaine was a total ass. But now he told him he loved him and i'm crying again :/. OMG about Burt being an agent i kinda suspected but wow does he know Tom is bad? I can't believe he new Blaine's parents that was a shock (you surprise me just when i think you can't anymore) and that letter was sweet it made me cry. I have to say this again your wrIting is TOTALLY AWESOME :D. OHH whY won't they Kurt?
Once again you do this - ask about Burt and in the next chapter we find out that Burt has been suspected something for a while now! I'm that predictable, aren't I? :DYou are spoiling me with compliments *sitting here bright red*