Chapter 14

“Okay,” Kurt smiled a little. Thankfully he was doing really great in his acting lessons. Their teacher told him he was very natural.

“Okay?” Blaine asked confused. How could it be ‘okay’ after what had just happened?

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Look, I get it, you don’t want me. I’m sorry I kind of jumped onto you. I guess I was just too horny. You see, I hadn’t done that since the last time with my boyfriend and it’s been a while,” he chuckled a little. He didn’t bother to add ‘ex’ because he knew that it would be easier to pretend with Blaine that way – he wanted him to believe that he just missed physical connection with his boyfriend.

“Oh god,” Blaine’s eyes went wide. “I helped you cheat on your boyfriend! I’m so sorry, Kurt…”

Kurt just shrugged. He didn’t want to lie too much so it was better not to say a word. He reached out and took the billiard stick. “Let’s play one more time,” he suggested no matter how uncomfortable they were both feeling, still hard in their pants.

<~*~>

Jeff: PC room. NOW.

Blaine sighed. He was already in his bed, ready to fall asleep and like most of the nights, dream about Kurt. Getting up and going to talk to Jeff was the least he wanted to do. He most likely wanted something stupid. Maybe he levelled up in some game or whatever.

Blaine: Is it really important? I want to go to sleep.

Jeff: It can’t wait.

Blaine growled and got up. He put some pants on but didn’t bother with a t-shirt because it was very warm. He left his bedroom and saw Kurt sleeping on the couch. At least that didn’t change. After the last class he still came to sleep in Blaine’s apartment. Blaine looked at the boy for the last time and left.

“I told you he had a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but he still wanted you.”

“He wanted anyone and I just happened to be next to him… and be gay.”

“You have to admit he is attracted to you.”

“He has James. It’s not going to happen again.”

“Even though you both want it?”

“I don’t want him to cheat on his boyfriend.”

“If you let yourself think like that, you will never have him.”

“I will never have him anyway.”

Blaine reached the doors and after a moment they opened. He entered and suddenly a big apple was thrown at him. Very quickly he caught it and took a bite calmly.

“I was seriously debating throwing a knife at you,” Jeff frowned. “But given my accuracy it would have ended up in one of the screens.”

“What have I done to you?” Blaine laughed and sat down on a small couch.

“Not to me, you idiot. To yourself!” the boy shouted. It was weird to see him like that. Blaine frowned and put an apple on the table. He kind of knew where it was coming from but he needed to make sure before saying anything. “What exactly are you talking about?”

Jeff pressed a button on the main computer. All computers in the room lit up with different moments from the billiard room. “What. The. Fuck?”

“Look, it just happened. I didn’t plan it, I don’t even know–”

“I’m not talking about that! I’m sorry, Kurt. You are a great friend but I don’t have feelings for you,” he mocked Blaine. They knew each other for a few years and it was the first time Blaine saw Jeff genuinely angry. “Why are you doing that to yourself? Kurt likes you and you like him, why couldn’t you just let it happen? You would make each other so fucking happy. Did you hear that, Blaine? Happy! When was the last time you were actually happy? Before you had met Kurt? Probably never! And here you are, pretending to be this composed purple freak. It never ends well if a ‘white’ starts dating his or her supervisor. They changed you, they did. You are turning into one of those robots who are only interested in following the rules. Maybe people can’t see it and I couldn’t for a while but this… it just opened my eyes. You are one of them after all. I can’t belie–”

“Shut up!” finally Blaine shouted at him. But there was no anger in his eyes or voice, just hurt. “Just shut up…” he whispered.

Jeff was still breathing heavily, he wanted to shout more, to show Blaine how wrong he was, he wanted to do anything but couldn’t once he saw large tears starting to run down his friend’s cheeks. With three big steps Jeff was standing in front of him. He ducked and took Blaine’s hands in his.

“I’m sorry, Blaine,” he said softly, “I didn’t mean to shout or say any of that. I was stupid. Please, don’t cry…”

Blaine just nodded but tears didn’t stop. Slowly Jeff sat down next to him and put one arm over his shoulders and pulled him. It was enough for Blaine to start sobbing as he cuddled himself into Jeff. The boy rocked him and for some time the only sounds in the room were computer buzz, Blaine’s sobs, and silent Jeff’s attempts to calm him down.

After a few minutes it became easier for Blaine to breath. His eyes hurt but the pain in his chest seemed to shrink; he had been keeping it all inside for too long.

“I don’t deserve him,” he finally spoke, his voice breaking. “I’m just using ‘white’/supervisor thing as an excuse. I tried to convince myself that it’s the problem. Or his boyfriend. But the truth is…” he inhaled deeply, “all the things that I had done…that I had had to do. Things that had been done to me… It all haunts me. Even if Kurt wanted to be with me, I couldn’t make him happy. He deserves everything that is nice in this world. I just want him to be happy.”

With that his sobs started again and Jeff tightened his arms around his body who was always so strong but suddenly seemed so small. “I don’t want you to think that I’m one of them. I’m not. It’s just easier to be a ‘composed freak’ than let everyone see how broken I am.”

“You are not broken,” Jeff whispered and one salty tear ran down his cheek and onto Blaine’s head. Blaine felt it and squeezed Jeff’s hand. “And you will never be one of them. And if you ever even consider that, I will hunt you down with my apples.”

They both chuckled and finally Blaine drifted into a restless sleep, exhausted from emotions.

<~*~>

Blaine was sound asleep under a thin blanket when Jeff came back to check on him early in the morning. The boy didn’t look well, his eyes still red and puffy. It hurt to watch him. So Jeff turned around and left. Outside he took the phone out of the pocket and looked through the contacts. He thoughtfully added necessary people into a group chat and sent a short message.

Jeff: I don’t care if you are asleep. Get your asses to my place if you care about Kurt, Blaine, or both of them.

It took less than five minutes for everyone to respond.

Sugar: Anything for my boy.

Santana: I hate you

Mike: I will go wake Tina up.

Santana: She is up. Besides, we live together

Tina: Thanks for letting me answer myself, Santana.

Tina: We will be there in 15.

Jeff: Thanks guys. I’ll be waiting with breakfast.

<~*~>

After ten minutes Jeff opened the doors to find them all standing there. He let them in and showed the way to the kitchen where breakfast was already waiting for five people.

“I brought what you like to eat for breakfast,” he said but nobody questioned how he could remember all the smallest things. They all sat down silently; they were still sleepy. “What we are going to discuss here is completely confidential. And you can’t talk to anyone else about this. Understood?”

They all looked confused at the serious look on Jeff’s face.

What the hell happened? He is never like that, Tina thought looking at Mike.

“Um, Jeff, what’s wrong? You are not acting like you always do,” he said taking a bite of bread. Everyone else murmured in agreement.

“Promise, you won’t tell anyone?”

“Sure. Just tell us already,” Santana insisted.

“You all think that Kurt likes Blaine,” he stated and everyone nodded. “And I assume you have all been wondering if Blaine feels the same way.”

“Of course he does. That’s like the most obvious thing in the entire world,” Sugar said and everyone laughed.

Jeff only nodded. He didn’t want to betray his friend but it was for the best. “Yesterday they kind of made out on the billiard table,” he said nervously and people around him cheered.

Finally. Jerking off at night must have become really boring, Tina smiled. She hoped that Mike couldn’t ‘read’ all of the thoughts. But a mischievous smile on his face made her wonder that maybe he had some super powers.

“Not so fast,” Jeff calmed them down. “Blaine told him he had no feelings for him and Kurt kind of told him that he just wanted to use him because he missed his boyfriend.”

“You are joking,” Sugar couldn’t believe her ears. “They must be mental.”

Wait a second… Kurt doesn’t have a boyfriend. He told me last week, Tina thought confused.

Mike narrowed his eyes, not sure what the girl was thinking. He thought for a second about what Jeff had told them. “When you say ‘Kurt kind of told him’, what do you mean? Do you think you could quote it?”

Everyone looked confused at him but the boy just shrugged and waited for Jeff to respond. “The exact words would be ‘I hadn’t done that since the last time with my boyfriend and it’s been a while.’ Why are you asking?”

Oh for god’s sake. Are they all idiots? Tina nodded enthusiastically at Mike.

“How long is ‘a while’? Since the first of June when he came here? Since last year? Since he was fifteen? He never told Blaine when exactly that last time was,” he stated and smiled as Tina nodded at him, a bright smile on her face.

They all fell silent after what Mike said. Sugar was the first to snap out of trance. “We have to do something.”

“That’s why you are all here,” Jeff smirked.