Blaine had successfully gotten past his unintentional obsession with the strange 22 year old Kurt Hummel. For the first few days after their skype session, Blaine couldn’t get him out of his head. His beautiful blue eyes, the missing smile on his face. He wanted so badly to see a genuine smile on his face and he couldn’t figure out why. By the fifth day, Blaine finally reminded himself that he wasn’t allowed to feel these feelings. He didn’t want to deal with them. Especially not for a client. It’s not like he knew anything about this mystery boy.

            He was home free, working his usually three calls a week. That’s what he limited himself to. Not only was he still decently busy with school and work, he also had a social life to maintain. He had to be very careful to keep this part of his life secret. Who knows what would happen if the people he loved found out.

            He knew this was weird or not normal for a kid like him. He had it going for him. A nice downtown apartment in New York City, friends he loved, and a well paying job as manager at the coffee shop just down the street. Sure, it wasn’t Broadway like he wanted, but that’s what school was for. Besides, he was still performing. Just on a different kind of stage.

            It was a Saturday when Blaine finally got around to checking his email again. The amount of junk mail always astounded him, but at least his inbox wasn’t empty. As he looked through it again, he was half disappointed and half thrilled to find an email from the person he was trying to run from.

            Kurt Hummel was sweet with his appreciation. He praised and adored just like the others. But from Kurt, it felt so different. Blaine felt like more than just an attractive sex object. As much as he hated it, there was something about Kurt that drew him in the an powerful magnet. Which is why his heart was pounding so hard against his chest when he read the part about Kurt wanting another date. Scheduled for tonight, if Blaine would be on.

            “If not, it’s no big deal. I’ll be on the computer so just…skype call if you want. But like I said, it’s no big deal. Whatever is fine.”

            Blaine stared at his computer screen for far too long before he finally realized that he was hardly breathing. As soon as he realized that he was going to take him up on this offer, he shot up from his desk chair and almost sprinted to his dresser. He knocked over a cup off water and tripped over a blanket on the way, but he didn’t care. It was late, already past midnight. What were the odds that he would even still be on.

            He stopped in front of the mirror, forcing himself to stay still. “This is purely professional. He is just a client. This is just a job.” He told himself four times before finally pulling away from the mirror and back to the computer. He steadied himself before logging back in to skype.

            He skimmed through the contacts and found who he was looking for. He bit his lip, the current availability set as do not disturb. It was hard to deny the disappointment that flooded through him. As soon as he registered the emotion and got up and shoved his chair back, walking straight out of the room and to the adjoining bathroom.

            He hit the wall, trying to find the light in the blinding darkness, clawing at the wall until he finally got it up. Blaine didn’t do disappointment. He hated it. He’d get his hopes up and then some force would knock them down. Blaine being happy was against fate or something. It drove him crazy.

            He turned the shower on, turning it as high as it could go. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help himself. He was so sick of being let down. He didn’t want to deal with it any more. He wanted to escape, to get away, even for only a minute. So he did the thing that came so easily to him. He sought out the orgasm he so desperately needed.

            He stood under the steaming water as he rested his forehead against the wall, one arm in between the wall and his head. Just thinking about Kurt’s perfectly shaped face, well done hair, beautiful eyes was enough to spark the erection. He groped himself, running his hands over the parts of his body that he yearned for a touch. Imagining what it would be like to really let someone in to be touched like this. Finally, he palmed his erection. He gripped the base, most of his hand cupping his balls, his thumb and pointer finger gripping his shaft. He slowly pulled up, grip firm and hard. After a few good pumps, Blaine was already panting. Letting out a slow moan, he moved so his back was against the wall, eyes shut tight as he dropped his hand again and again until he felt pleasure rising.

As he came, he didn’t immediately wash off his hand. He let it sit there, looking at it as if it were an alien substance. It had been so long since he did this out of his own desire. He was almost always on camera, performing. Sure, he says it’s about himself all of the time, but that’s never true. Yes, he loves the attention. But there’s always someone watching, something judging the way he touches himself. Sometimes, it’s nice to just do something for yourself.

He quickly got out of the shower and took his time putting lotion on his body. It felt nice to give himself a little extra treatment. It’d give him the strength to get over the stupid feelings he somehow managed to let in. Slowly, he worked his way to bed, stretching and yawning. He glanced at his computer, still on and in the same position as before. As he looked at the screen, he just about punched himself.

--

Kurt had been working himself to death the past few days and really just needed a break. Was it really so wrong to try and visit Blaine again? Well, not really visit, but watch? The other night, watching Blaine left Kurt speechless. What Blaine did was truly art. Kurt wished more people could appreciate what he could do.

            Kurt was a firm believer that Blaine wasn’t a porn star. Porn starts have sex with strangers for money. They don’t enjoy it. But Blaine had been clearly enjoying himself with the job he was doing. It was just that he was doing it for Kurt, too. It had been so beautiful and well crafted that it hadn’t left Kurt’s mind since then. Another go would do nothing to hurt anyone.

            He waited all day on skype. He was a little impatient, but he was working while he waited, which proved to be enough of a distraction. After a while, he was about to get up. He said he’d just make himself a snack and then come right back. He changed his status and did his best to hurry as he rummaged through his poorly stocked kitchen. When he came back, he was highly disappointed to see that Blaine was online but hadn’t even attempted to contact him.

            He was hurt, but for no good reason. He couldn’t justify feeling the way he did. There was no reason. Blaine had no commitment to him. Hell, they weren’t even friends. Kurt wouldn’t even go far enough to say that they were business partners. Kurt couldn’t stop his fingers though as he typed. As soon as he had hit the enter button, he panicked and logged out of skype. He slammed his laptop shut and rushed to bed.

            Kurt didn’t sleep much that night if he did at all. Mostly it was the insomnia, but part of it was guilt. The message he had left for Blaine was anything but nice.

            Feel free to delete my screen name from your contact list.