Nov. 27, 2012, 11:26 a.m.
Everlong: Chapter 8
E - Words: 8,891 - Last Updated: Nov 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Jun 01, 2012 - Updated: Nov 27, 2012 242 0 3 0 0
“Kurt!” Blaine cried, holding Kurt’s wrist before the boy could try to run again.
“What do you want, Blaine?” Kurt asked, almost choking on his sobs.
“I wan-I need you to listen to me.” Blaine pleaded his eyes shinny. “Please, Kurt, you have to give me the chance to explain. Don’t run away again.”
“I don’t need any explanations, Blaine.” Kurt replied, angrily. “I know what I saw.”
“We didn’t do any-“
“You would have if I hadn’t walked in.” Kurt snapped.
“Kurt, I’m a lot of thing, but I’m not a cheater.” Blaine bit his lower lip, glancing behind him, making sure that there was no one around. “Kurt, can we please go to my room and discuss this privately?”
“Why should I?”
“Because if you’re going to break up with me you should at least hear all I have to say first.” Blaine said, Kurt’s heart tightening at how hurt Blaine sounded, which was probably what made Kurt sigh heavily and nod. “Thank you.”
They walked in silence back to Blaine’s dorm, Blaine letting out a sigh of relief once he opened the door and saw that Sebastian wasn’t there. He allowed Kurt to enter first, knowing that Kurt appreciated these small gestures.
Kurt stood in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do. He didn’t feel exactly comfortable sitting at Blaine’s bed at the moment and there was no way he was going to sit at Sebastian’s bed. God knows what the boy did there.
Blaine locked the door and passed through Kurt, sitting on his bed and patting the mattress, rolling his eyes when Kurt tore his gaze away from the bed. “Kurt, will you please sit next to me?”
“Why?”
“God.” Blaine groaned, under his breath. “Because I need you right next to me while I explain what happened, that’s why.”
Kurt sighed, defeated and sat next to Blaine, who, at the same moment, kicked his shoes off and turned to face Kurt, crossing his legs.
“Give me your hand.” Blaine ordered, extending his own hand.
“Wh-“
“Just give me your hand, Kurt.” Blaine said, impatient.
Kurt swallowed hard. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid. He had never seen Blaine so demanding, so mad, without being mad. It was quite scary, to be honest. He extended his hand, slowly, biting his lower lip when Blaine took it, clasping his hand.
“Sebastian is nothing but a friend to me.” Blaine’s tone was just as intense as his gaze. Blaine’s eyes were even more wide than they usually were, even more bright, but Kurt could almost see flames on the boy’s eyes. “I have no idea of what I can possibly do to make you understand that, but he’s nothing more than that. I swear to you.”
“You were about to kiss him.” Kurt said, hurt. “If I hadn’t walked in you would’ve kissed him.”
“Kurt, I would ne-“
“I saw Blaine, I saw the way you looked at hi-“Kurt’s voice cracked, his throat closing as the tear blocked his vision. He swallowed hard, taking a deep, though shaking, breath. “At him. You looked at him the exact same way you usually look at me when we’re singing, or when I say that I lo-“God, he couldn’t even say it. “You know what I mean.”
“Kurt, I love you. I’m head over heels for you; I’ve never liked someone as much as I like you. I love you so much that it scares me; sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be better if I broke up with you before you broke my heart.”
“Wai-“
“But,” Blaine continued, as if Kurt had never interrupted him. “The fear of not having you, of not being able to kiss you, of not being able to hold you, of note being able to be with you, scare me more than the fear of having my heart shattered.”
“You are everything to me, I can’t imagine how my life would be without you and, frankly, I don’t want to. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I won’t give up on us without fighting. I won’t. I-I can’t.” Blaine stuttered, his voice shaky, making Kurt realize that the boy had tears on his eyes. “Please, I’m begging you, Kurt, believe me. I would never cheat on you. I’m sorry if what you saw made you think otherwise, but I can guarantee you that you’re the only one for me. If I ever hooked up with Sebastian it’d be just that, a hook up.”
“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice cracked, his throat tightening. “The way you looked at him it jus- It broke my heart.”
“I love you, only you. Sebastian will never be more than a friend to me.” Blaine let go of Kurt’s hand and only then the boy realized how tightly Blaine had been holding it, not that it mattered much, since Blaine was already grabbing Kurt’s face, their gazes meeting. “I’m so sorry if whatever is it that I did gave you the wrong impression, but you are the only one for me, you know that, right?”
Kurt sighed, closing his eyes, feeling exhausted. He opened his eyes to find Blaine’s own eyes staring at his, searching for something, Kurt thought. It was, to be honest, quite nerve-wrecking to have Blaine’s eyes so focused on his. Blaine had always been able to look past all the walls Kurt would build around himself, even when they weren’t dating Blaine had always been able to read Kurt as if he was an open book.
“I really try to ignore it, but he knows how to get to me, I wish it didn’t bother me, but it does, a lot.” Kurt admitted, putting his hand over Blaine’s. “I love you, bu-“
“Why does this sound like a break up?” Blaine asked, Kurt’s chest tightening painfully as he saw the boy’s eyes starting to sparkle, the tears welling on his eyes.
“It isn’t, I just-“Kurt’s voice cracked, his chest tightening to the point where Kurt thought it was going to explode. “I need time to think.”
“That’s what they always say before the break up.” Blaine said, tears rolling through his face.
“I just need a week.” Kurt said, feeling his heart being ripped out of his chest as he took Blaine’s hands out of his face and got up. “And I swear to you, I’m not breaking up with you.”
But Blaine didn’t reply, he just pulled his legs up and hugged them tightly, burring his face in his knees. Kurt could hear the boy sobbing softly, but this time he couldn’t go there and kiss his tears and pain away, he wouldn’t. He had to know what he wanted, what he thought, he had to think, but it wasn’t a break up. Or that was what he told himself all the way home.
---
“KURT HUMMEL!”
Kurt closed his locker turning to see himself face to face with a very, very angry Rachel. She had her hands on her hips and Kurt could feel her gaze burning him.
“…Rachel Berry?”
“Don’t “Rachel Berry” me, mister.” Rachel said, crossing her arms. “Why would you do that?” She asked, pouting, looking as if she was in the verge of tears.
“That being me trying to decide what’s best for me regarding my relationship?” Kurt quirked an eyebrow.
“Don’t you love him anymore?”
“Aren’t you two really siblings?” Kurt said, shaking his head. “I do love him, but I have to decide what’s best for me. You know sometimes it’s important to think about how you feel about something.”
“He called me…” Rachel started as they both walked slowly through the hallway, both of them knowing that they were everything but excited for what was going to be an incredibly boring AP Biology class. “He was so miserable, Kurt… You have no idea.”
“He asked you to talk to me and convince me to forgive him, didn’t he?”
“He didn’t do anything wrong.” Rachel shrugged. “Does this mean you forgive him?”
“Look, Rach, I meant it when I said that I needed time to think. I really don’t feel like becoming the crazy, paranoiac, jealous type of boyfriend, but Sebastian does get under my skin and I need some time to analyze what’s best for me.”
“Would you break up with him?” Rachel gave him her best puppy eyes, and, although there had been a time in which they’d make Kurt feel bad about him, they weren’t quite as convincing as Blaine’s.
“If I think that I might be better off without him, then, yeah, as much as it’d kill me to do so, I would.” Kurt shrugged. “Can we please change the topic now? I’d rather think about that when I have time to do so.”
“Just-“Rachel sighed, reaching out to touch Kurt’s arm. “He called me and he could barely do anything but sob for some good 10 minutes. He is feeling terrible Kurt, just try to keep that in mind okay?”
“Rachel if I need your advice, I’ll ask for it, but, at least for now, I want to make my own decision, by myself. Now,” They stopped in front of the class’ door. “Can we please leave this subject out of the classroom?”
---
“Blaine, calm down!” Wes slapped Blaine a little bit harder than the latter thought it was needed. “Can you, for god’s sake, calm down and tell me what did he say?”
“He-he said that he ne-need time to thin-think.” Blaine sobbed, hugging himself tighter.
“Okay, Blaine,” Wes sat next to his friend, moving his arms to hug the boy. “He didn’t break up with you, he did the mature thing to be honest, if you had really demanded an answer right away then he’d probably have broken up with you.” Blaine just shook his head and gave another shaky sob. “I’m gonna be honest.” Wes took a deep breath and pulled away, his chest tightening when Blaine lifted his head and Wes saw his usually bright, hazel eyes puffy and reddish, its usual sparkle gone. “You kind of brought this on yourself, you really are close to Sebastian, and I totally get that, but there are a lot of people that assume you two are dating and, frankly, you two are always flirting.”
“We don-“
“You do, Blaine. I get Kurt because when you and Sebastian sing together…” Wes bit his lower lip, avoiding his friend’s eyes. “It looks like you two are in love. I know you don’t like Sebastian like that, but he obviously does, and you sleep in the same room as him, and you’re always with him, you have to, actually, be surprised that Kurt hasn’t broken up with you yet.”
“Is it that bad?” Blaine asked his tone low and guilty.
“It is, but, look,” Wes rushed to begin as he saw Blaine’s face fall. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
“I don’t see how’s that possible.” Blaine murmured. “I’ll-I’ll just call him.” Blaine said reaching out for his phone.
“No!” Wes stopped him, grabbing the cell phone before Blaine could touch it. “He needs this time, Blaine. You’ll only make things worse.”
“But-“
“One week. Is all that he asked you and you will give him that, you’ll allow him to decide what he wants and then, afterwards, you’ll deal with the decision, whatever it is.” Wes said firmly, using his I’m-the-leader voice that never failed in frightening Blaine a little.
“I don’t know if I-“
“You can.” Wes got up, straightening his uniform. “And you will.” He eyed Blaine carefully once more before opening a warm smile. “Now go take a shower, you look horrible.”
---
Kurt closed his US History textbook with a sigh of relief, grabbing his sheets and putting them inside of his binder before carefully putting both the Binder and the textbook inside his bag. He glanced at his clock, proud of himself when he saw that it was only 6:39. Usually he’d procrastinate on the weekends and end up being crazy on Sunday at 9 pm with billions of homeworks to do, essays to write and notes to study, but this week he had managed to do everything like the planned and he had even managed to watch Project Runaway live, which hadn’t really happened in about 5 weeks.
He decided to take a nice, relaxing, long bath before cooking something to dinner and falling asleep in front of the fireplace. And, he added mentally, he could decide, once and for all, what he was going to do about Blaine.
He set all his moisturizers, hair products and bath products in the correct order and waited until the bathtub was filled with hot steaming the water what gave the entire bathroom a foggy appearance. He got inside the bathtub, sighing happily as his entire body warmed up. It was the middle of October but Ohio was already freezing in a way that Kurt would be the happiest person on earth when he arrived at school simply because it was warm inside.
Okay, Blaine, he thought. He had to decide what he was going to do. Blaine had been a gentleman and hadn’t tried to contact him, in fact, he hadn’t heard from Blaine at all, not even from Rachel. Still, he had to make a decision. The week had been actually… Good. He had had time to do everything he needed and he didn’t have to worry at all about Sebastian or about any other guys. However, on the other side, every night before he went to bed he felt like something was missing, he felt as if he wasn’t complete without Blaine, not like he couldn’t live without Blaine, but as if he wasn’t 100% happy without receiving a good night text or a call from the boy. Blaine had become a major part of his life and Kurt loved him, with all his heart.
Blaine had acted weird with Sebastian, but, again, Kurt might have exaggerated a little bit, mostly because he was already pissed at how Sebastian and Blaine had been acting since well, forever. He knew Blaine would never cheat on him, Blaine was not the type of guy who did that, but Kurt still managed to get insecure and crazy jealous about Sebastian, he didn’t know why, but he knew he ought to stop overreacting or he might as well lose Blaine. But, again, he reminded himself, this wasn’t about Blaine, this was about him, he deciding what best for him, but something told him that he had already made his decision.
---
“I can’t do this anymore.” Blaine finally said, closing his book with an angry groan.
“Whoa pretty boy, no need to be angry.” Sebastian said, ignoring Wes’ groan of frustration. “I can help you.”
“I’m not talking about the damn homework, I’m already done with that shi-“
“Hey, hey, hey,” Wes got up and walked towards Blaine. “What’s wrong with you? You’re not the I’m-going-to-curse-everything-and-everyone type of boy.”
“I just,” Blaine’s throat closed and his voice broke but he shook his head, he wasn’t going to cry. Yet. “I know I said I’d give him a week, but I-I can’t do it anymore. I need to know.”
“No, Blaine,” Wes started as Blaine got up and grabbed his phone. “Blai-Blaine!” Wes exclaimed, holding Blaine’s arm just as he was about to walk out of the door. “You gave him a week.”
“I know, but I can’t do this anymore!” Blaine cried. “I can’t stay away from him. I need to know what he wants and I ne-“
“What if he wants to break up?” Sebastian said, earning a glare from Wes in return. “What? It is a sad, though possible, option. So,” Sebastian turned to Blaine. “If that’s what he chose to do, why would you want to know it earlier? What are you going to do if he says he wants to break up?”
“Then I’m going to try and convince him not to.” Blaine’s tone was hard as stone, his look cold and Wes would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see Sebastian’s face fall a little bit at the determination etched in Blaine’s face.
“I still think you should wait, though.” Wes said.
“I can’t.” Blaine said and Wes sighed, letting him go. “I’m not losing him. Not without fighting.”
---
Kurt was already half asleep in the couch in front of the fireplace, almost using the magazine he was reading as a pillow. He had made a salad and ate it in the couch while buying some clothes online and afterwards he had decided to take a look at People before going to bed.
He glanced at the window, yawning at the sound of the rain falling outside. He could see the faint shadow of the leaves moving softly to the wind as the rain fell heavily creating the perfect background music for one to sleep or to curl up on the coach and watch a movie drinking hot chocolate. Or coffee. He was honestly considering doing so when a loud knock on the door made him jump about 6 feet, his heart nearly stopping.
He frowned glancing at the clock on the wall, wondering who in the world would be knocking on his door at 8 pm. He walked slowly towards the door, getting ready to run towards the kitchen and grab a knife is needed. He opened the door and he had to blink several times to believe that his mind wasn’t playing a trick on him.
“Blaine? What the hell are you doing here?!”
“Can I come in?” Blaine asked, swallowing hard. “It’s freezing out here.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Kurt said, stepping out of the way. “I’m sorry.” As soon as Blaine stepped inside the house, the light of the living room and of the fireplace illuminating him Kurt realized how bad the boy was. He was completely soaked, from head to toes, his curls clinging to his forehead, his ridiculously long eyelashes had drops of waters on its edges and, although Kurt knew he should not be focusing on that, he couldn’t help but notice that the boy’s shirt was also clinging to his body, showing off his abs in a way that made Kurt’s blood start to rush somewhere else. “Blaine?”
“Where are your parents?” Blaine asked, frowning.
“They are in Washington and Finn’s at Puck’s.”
“You mean he told his mom he was going to Puck’s but he’s actually at my house.” Blaine said, smirking.
“But you didn’t hear it from me.” Kurt winked. They laughed softly for a brief moment, until awkward silence surrounded them, what only made Kurt sad. There had never been an occasion in which he’d find himself uncomfortable at Blaine’s presence.
“Kurt?”
“You need to change clothes.” Kurt rushed to say. He didn’t know why, but, for some reason he didn’t want to know why Blaine was there. “You can take shower at my bathroom.”
“Ku-“
“Please,” Kurt pleaded. “I don’t want to see you sick.”
Blaine nodded and followed Kurt’s upstairs, feeling relieved, although he didn’t know why, to see that Kurt’s room looked the same. He felt more… Connected to Kurt knowing that he hadn’t missed anything, that nothing had changed, that he still belonged there, well, maybe belonged wasn’t the right word, but, in general, he was happy to know that he was still a part of Kurt’s life.
“Will you wait for me?” Blaine asked, biting his lower lip. Even if Kurt had wanted he wouldn’t have been able to say no to Blaine. Looking at the boy better Kurt could see the dark circles under his eyes, he could see the fear in his eyes and, although Blaine still looked perfectly healthy and, well, pretty hot, Kurt noticed he had lost some weight. “Ple-“
“I’ll be waiting for you.” Kurt assured him, smiling. “With a cup of mint tea. How does that sound?”
“Great.” Blaine smiled. “Thanks.”
Kurt nodded, waiting for Blaine to close the bathroom door before he headed downstairs, not knowing exactly why he felt so anxious.
---
“Blaine?” Kurt called from outside the bedroom. “Can you open the door, I’m holding the mu-“Kurt’s words were caught in his throat when Blaine opened the door, wearing a white v-neck cotton shirt that Kurt hadn’t worn in 2 years, but that fitted Blaine perfectly, hugging his body in all the right places and one of Kurt’s old grey sweatpants that were a little big, but still managed to make him look like a model. Sometimes Kurt would just stare at Blaine and wonder how was he real. This was one of those moments. “Wa-Was the shower good?”
“Yeah.” Blaine smiled. “Can we talk?”
“Okay.” Kurt handed Blaine his mug and closed the door behind him, sitting at the chair and turning to face Blaine who had sat on the edge of his desk. “Why did you come here?”
“I nee-I need to know.” Blaine said, knowing that he’d better go straight to the point. There was no point in trying to find excuses. “I know I said I’d give you the space you needed, but-“His voice cracked and he looked down, feeling his throat closing as tears burned his eyes. “If you want to break up with me just do it, because I need to know what I’m going to do with my life.”
Kurt was so nervous that he only realized he had finished drinking his tea when he turned the mug down, in need from something to give him time to think and only a few drops of the hot refreshing tea fell on his tongue.
“I thought about this, Blaine, I thought about this a lot.” Kurt finally said, putting his mug on the desk. “And this time I wanted to make a decision that was the best one for me in the long run, as selfish this sounds, I couldn’t allow myself to think about you this time, it had to be about me. You understand that, don’t you?” Blaine gave a nervous nod, glancing quickly at his feet when his and Kurt’s gaze’s met. “And because I had to do what’s best for me…” Kurt swallowed hard. “I need to tell you that I’m jealous of Sebastian, that I think I’ll always be a bit insecure when it comes to him, but I’m not going to let him get in the middle of our relationship.”
“So we are okay?” Blaine asked, his eyes gaining life, its usual sparkle back.
“Yeah, we are okay.” Kurt said, smiling, feeling as if he could breathe normally again, as if the world was no longer in his back.
“Does that mean that I can kiss you?” Blaine asked putting his mug next to Kurt’s.
“Please do.” Kurt rushed to say. It was physically painful to have Blaine close to him and not touch him.
Blaine smiled and Kurt knew at that moment that he had chose the right thing. As much as he had had enjoyed his week with nothing to worry but he himself, he knew that there was nothing that would have made him happier than to see that smile back in Blaine’s face, that smile that made his eyes sparkle with happiness, that smile that made you smile because how could you not? There were few things in the world that made Kurt as happy as seeing Blaine happy, especially when he was the reason for the boy’s happiness.
Blaine got off the desk and leaned, closing the gap between his and Kurt’s lips. Kurt smiled at the familiar sensation of Blaine’s smooth lips on his, at how complete he felt when his and Blaine’s lips moved slowly together, as if they had all the time in the world, and, in that night, indeed, they had. Kurt opened his mouth slowly, getting up as he did so, passing his arms around Blaine’s neck, his fingers instantly finding their way to Blaine’s hair which was still damp from the shower. Kurt curled his fingers in Blaine’s hair as he felt the boy’s arm sliding to his waist.
“I missed you so bad.” Blaine murmured on Kurt’s lips, his fingers brushing on the skin of Kurt’s back making the boy shiver.
“Yeah,” Kurt said, his nails scratching Blaine’s nape. “Same.”
He felt Blaine’s smile on his lips as the boy pushed him gently backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of his bed. He sat on the bed, crawling backwards until his entire body was on the bed. Blaine crawled towards Kurt, smiling.
“Hey.” Blaine said his face a few inches away from Kurt’s. “I don’t think I had the chance to say that earlier.”
Kurt chuckled, ducking his face. “Hi.”
“You know I love you right?” Blaine’s playful tone was gone, replaced by a much more serious one, his eyes were on Kurt’s, searching them for something Kurt wasn’t sure of what it was.
“Is everything okay Blaine?” Kurt frowned. “You look weird.”
“And you didn’t answer my question.” Blaine replied, looking a bit afraid.
“And I thought I was the insecure one.” Kurt smirked. “But I know you love me.”
“Okay, that’s good.” Blaine looked relieved, a wicked grin appearing on his face.
“And why’s that?”
Blaine just shook his head and put his hands on Kurt’s cheeks, leaning until his lips were less than an inch away from Kurt’s, which tingled in anticipation. Seconds, that seemed more like hours, passed before Blaine’s lips finally touched his again. Kurt put his hands on Blaine’s biceps as their lips moved together, slowly, rediscovering each other. Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine’s biceps when he felt the tip of Blaine’s tongue on his tongue, Blaine seemed to have taken the action as an encouragement seeing as on the next second Kurt could feel Blaine’s smile on his lips as Blaine’s tongue got further inside Kurt’s mouth, massaging Kurt’s tongue. Kurt gave a small, low, whimper of pleasure when Blaine’s hands left his face and went to his waist, pulling Kurt to his lap, making the boy wrap his legs around Blaine’s waist tightly.
Kurt moved one hand to Blaine’s neck and the other to his hair, his fingers tangling in the curls as he shoved his tongue inside Blaine’s mouth, tasting the mint tea that they had drank earlier. Blaine kept his hands on Kurt’s back but it was obvious that the boy needed more, if the way the boy kept pressing Kurt harder against him was anything to go by. Kurt felt himself growing harder as their kiss became a mess of tongues moving inside each other’s mouth and teeth clashing.
Kurt’s brain started to shut down due to the lack of oxygen and reluctantly he broke the kiss, though he didn’t dare to move his head back more than a couple inches. He realized Blaine’s breathing was just as heavy as his, the hair on the boy’s neck damp from sweat. Kurt knew he was sweaty as hell, his long sleeved cotton shirt was starting to cling to his body and he could feel his forehead a bit wet.
“Is it just me or is it hot here?” Kurt asked, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his groin as well as fight the urge to grind down on Blaine’s lap, feeling that the boy was as hard as he was.
“It’s not only you.” Blaine replied, his eyes meeting Kurt. Blaine’s golden irises were nearly imperceptible, his black pupils, dilated with lust making the iris nearly disappear. However as Kurt continued to look into Blaine’s eyes he could see them searching for something, almost as if holding a question and then Kurt realized what Blaine wanted to know, the realization made him blush even harder but he gave the boy the smallest of nods, his stomach tore between excitement and fear as Blaine took of Kurt’s shirt.
Before he could think of the matter any longer his shirt was on the floor and Blaine was kissing Kurt fiercely, as if his life depended on it. Kurt threw his head back, moaning out loud. This time, unlike many others, he didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed because Blaine’s lips were already on his ears, his voice low and husky.
“You have no idea of how hot you look when you do something like that.” Blaine nibbled the edge of Kurt’s ear, fighting his urge to shove Kurt’s pants down and blow him when he felt the boy’s hard on pressing on his stomach. Kurt was a virgin, he had to remind himself to take things slow, not only because of that, but because he wanted this moment to be special to Kurt, however he had to admit it was hard to take things so slow when he had spent so much time without having sex.
Kurt’s heart pace increased as he brought the hand that was on Blaine’s neck to the boy’s chest, tugging on the collar of the shirt. Blaine glanced up at him, battling his lashes and Kurt knew that there was nothing Blaine could ever ask him using that face that he wouldn’t do. Taking a deep breath he tugged a little more insistently on Blaine’s shirt lifting it as high as he could. The boy seemed to finally take the hint and he quickly raised his arms, allowing Kurt to lift the shirt over his head.
Just like all the times Kurt had seen Blaine shirtless, Kurt could not help but to stare open mouthed at the boy’s body. If he had any trace of fat Kurt had not found it yet. His abs were perfectly sculpted by years of boxing lessons and his hipbones led straight to where the trail of dark chest hair disappeared under the waistband of his boxers. Kurt always felt embarrassed, humiliated, like the ugly duck next to the beautiful white swan, when both he and Blaine were shirtless. Where Blaine was all very well defined muscles and tanned skin Kurt was ordinary, sure, he had some muscles on his arms from all the heavy work on his dad’s shop and from carrying endless paper bags and fabrics (who said shopping wasn’t an exercise?), but his stomach was flat and his skin was as white as milk. This wasn’t something he had ever talked to Blaine about, but he knew the boy knew simply because whenever they were both shirtless Blaine was quick to embrace Kurt and his body. And this time it wasn’t different.
Before Kurt realized he was already untangling himself from Blaine and, even quicker, Blaine put both hands on Kurt’s chest, pushing the boy down. He lay on bed and soon Blaine was on top of him, his mouth sucking eagerly on Kurt’s neck. Kurt bit down his lip hard when he found himself with Blaine’s leg on middle of his, the boy’s erection pressing on his thigh against the fabric of his jeans. Blaine lifted his head to meet Kurt’s eyes, his gaze softening, however, before the boy could say anything Kurt cut him off.
“I love you,” Kurt said, taking a deep breath. “And I want this. And I want it with you.”
Blaine nodded and he hoped Kurt didn’t realize how nervous he was. It wasn’t his first time and it wasn’t the first time he was taking someone’s virginity, but Kurt was completely different from all the boys he had been with. Kurt was one of those persons who was incredibly strong on the outside and that seemed untouchable, as if nothing you could ever do could ever get to him, but, as you approached him you knew that it was all an act, that he didn’t actually show how much every little thing affected him and, mostly because Blaine was his first love, Blaine’s biggest fear was to do something so horrible, without even noticing, that’d break Kurt forever, that’s cause such a en extreme damage that- No. He wouldn’t think about that now. He loved Kurt and Kurt loved him, Kurt trusted him, so much that he was willing to let Blaine be the first one to whom Kurt would open his heart to completely.
Taking a deep breath he closed the gap between his and Kurt’s lips, kissing the boy slowly, though not less passionately, their tongues moved as if dancing a complicated dance that one can only dance with a partner who knows all the moved and who the other trusts completely. Kurt’s hands were in his back, his nails scratching Blaine’s back. Blaine moaned loudly, biting Kurt’s lip before tentatively grinding his hips down. Kurt moaned loudly, his back arching involuntarily, as he brought Blaine’s mouth to his again. Kurt grinded his hips down, at the same moment as Blaine and, although they had done this plenty of times before, Kurt still was taken aback by how amazing it felt. Blaine broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Kurt’s collarbone, sucking on it eagerly. Kurt slid his hands down Blaine’s chest slowly, moaning out loud whenever their cocks would rub together.
Kurt’s fingers curled in the waistband of Blaine’s, well, more like his, sweatpants, his stomach filled with butterflies and, like always, he got that terrible, nerve wrecking feeling, however, this time, he pushed the thought to the back of his head. Blaine loved him and he loved Blaine, he knew Blaine was the right person and, yeah, although he had always dreamed of his first time being more romantic, he knew that, regardless of what happened in the future, in this moment, there was no one he’d rather do this with. With that thought on his head Kurt lowered Blaine’s pants, trying to keep his breathing steady and not give away how nervous he actually was.
Blaine brought Kurt’s lips to his once more, in a messy, all teeth and tongue kiss before sliding his hands down, not bothering to stop. Blaine had already seen Kurt in his underwear a couple of times but, good god, Kurt really was something out of this world. Blaine groaned in frustration, he knew he shouldn’t rush this, he should let Kurt have all the time he needed, but it had been 7 months, he had spent pretty much a year and a half having sex on nearly a daily basis, he was in the verge of going crazy. He lifted his head, his eyes meeting Kurt’s and only then he realized there was something wrong.
“Babe? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Kurt nodded, swallowing hard. “It’s just that-“ Kurt sighed, getting up and sitting on his knees, what he probably shouldn’t have done since it only made his bulge more evident, making Blaine even more horny. “I’m afraid I’ll do the wrong thing.”
“Babe,” Blaine started, putting his hand on Kurt’s thigh. “You could never do the wrong thing, okay? I know you’re nervous, I am nervous, but we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I swear.” Blaine assured him. “Do you wanna do it?” Blaine finally asked. “If you don’t want to I won’t be mad, or hurt, or anything, I don’t wanna force you to do anything.”
Kurt’s heart melted at Blaine’s words, he knew how hard it had been for Blaine to wait until he was ready, and he knew how much Blaine was holding back himself from doing what he wanted and at the pace he wanted just because the boy was afraid to scare Kurt and, after Blaine’s words, Kurt knew that there would never be anyone he’d rather share this with than with Blaine. Kurt simply smiled at Blaine, passing his arms around the boy’s neck and leaning to kiss him. He knew what he had to do and he knew that the longer it took him to do it, the more nervous he’d get.
“I want you.” Kurt panted, breaking the kiss. “Please.”
Blaine nodded, swallowing hard, trying to calm his nerves. Ok, you got this, Blaine, you’ve done this plenty of times, he said to himself as he kissed Kurt’s collarbone, the excitement building inside him. He pushed Kurt, groaning at the sight of the boy lying underneath him. He bent down, taking a deep breath before moving his mouth to one of Kurt’s nipples, feeling much more relaxed and confident when Kurt moaned, one of his hands moving to Blaine’s hair.
“Does it feel good?” Blaine smirked, sucking a bit harder, earning a groan in return. He smiled, leaving a trail of kisses all over Kurt’s upper chest. He lifted his head to see Kurt looking down at him with lust in his eyes; his cheeks were rosy because of the heat, drops of sweat falling from his forehead. It was one of the most beautiful things Blaine had ever seen.
Blaine smiled at Kurt for a brief second before turning his attention back to what he was doing. He kept kissing Kurt’s stomach until he felt he was well enough to start the other part. He took a deep breath and lowered his mouth until it was on Kurt’s bulge, over the fabric of the boy’s boxers. He felt Kurt go still and he didn’t have to look up to know that the boy wasn’t breathing. Slowly he opened his mouth and licked the fabric of the boxer, trying not to grin too much when Kurt’s other hand flew to his hair, his fingers curling on Blaine’s hair, holding the boy where he was.
Blaine kept mouthing Kurt’s boxers until the boy pulled him by the hair, their gazes meeting. “Blaine, please.”
“Please what, babe?” Blaine smiled coyly when Kurt caught his bottom lip in between his teeth.
“Don’t make me say it.” Kurt whispered, blushing.
“Well, if you won’t tell me what you wan-“
“Suck me, blow me, let me fuck your mouth, whatever you prefer to call it.” Kurt blurted out. “Just-Just do it.”
Blaine lowered his head as he pulled Kurt’s boxers down. He got up sitting on his knees, his mouth going dry as he stared at Kurt. He already thought Kurt was one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen but, at this moment, he knew he had been wrong all along. Kurt was the most beautiful men he had ever seen.
Kurt swallowed hard, feeling extremely exposed. It was the first time he was completely naked in front of a person and it was quite… Intimidating. Especially when said person didn’t say anything to you; it just kept staring at you. “Say something Blaine.” Kurt asked, his throat nearly closing.
“Fuck.” Blaine replied, his eyes meeting Kurt’s. “You’re hot, Kurt, like, I wanna fuck you senseless hot.”
Kurt blushed before he had even opened his mouth but, somehow, his voice managed to stay normal. “Well then do it.”
Blaine smiled deviously at him, lowering his head slowly, until his face was inches away from Kurt’s cock and Kurt was pretty sure he’d die from all the excitement that was building inside him, it felt as if his heart was going to rip his chest.
“Blaine, can you please jus-“The rest of the words were lost in his mouth, a loud moan swallowing them when Blaine put his lips around Kurt’s cock. Ok, now he got why so many people were crazy about this, it felt amazing. Blaine’s mouth was warm and wet and, god, he had never felt so good in his entire existence.
Blaine took a deep breath, smiling at Kurt’s whine when Blaine pulled away, before wrapping his lips around Kurt’s cock again. He tasted the bitter pre cum, but, he had to admit, he had missed that, he didn’t have any idea of how much until now.
He swirled his tongue around the head, moving the hand that was on Kurt’s thigh to the boy’s balls. Blaine moaned around Kurt’s cock and he instantly felt Kurt’s fingers curling even tighter on his hair, almost painfully. He took advantage of Kurt’s state and took a deep breath, taking as much of Kurt as he could without gagging. As soon as Blaine felt Kurt’s cock hit the back of his throat he started sucking eagerly, while massaging Kurt’s balls.
“Fuck,” Kurt swore, his mouth hanging open. If Kurt knew how good that felt, he’d have done that years before. He couldn’t even imagine how Blaine had managed to stay 7 months without doing that. And because of him. “Damn it, Blaine.” He moaned fluttering his eyes closed. He opened his eyes to see Blaine’s eyes on him, his lashes casting shadows in his face. Kurt smiled at him, running his fingers through the boy’s curls slowly and then, slowly, he started thrusting into Blaine’s mouth, feeling as if he was about to explode in any second.
Blaine’s nails scratched Kurt’s thigh as his tongue pressed on thick vein of Kurt’s cock, his own head dizzy with pleasure, his groin ached painfully, his cock throbbing.
“Blaine, I’m gonna co-“Kurt’s words were cut by his own moan, his stomach clenching and unclenching dangerously.
Blaine smiled and pulled away with a loud “pop”, Kurt whined at the loss and opened his eyes to find Blaine hovering above him, licking his lips absently.
“What?”
“Turn around.” Blaine ordered. “Do you have lube and condoms? I’d have brought but…” Blaine trailed off. He glanced at Kurt and realized the boy was blushing as he turned over, laying on his stomach. Blaine shook his head, laughing. It was amazing that Kurt still was embarrassed of sex related stuff even though he had just gotten a blowjob. “So, do you have it?”
“It’s in the bathroom.” Kurt replied shyly. He felt the mattress shift and become much lighter and, before Blaine was too far to hear him, Kurt spoke. “Can you come back fast?” He couldn’t see Blaine’s face but he’d bet that the boy was smiling and, somehow, this managed to relax him a little bit.
Before Kurt could start to get nervous again Blaine came back and, Kurt noticed, completely naked.
“I love you.” Blaine said, climbing in the bed. He put his lips on Kurt’s nape, kissing the skin there slowly, his teeth scrapping it occasionally. He felt Kurt’s muscles relax under the tone, the boy sighing. He moved his lips down, leaving a trail of kisses down Kurt’s spine. Eventually he got up and grabbed the bottle of lube, coating a finger with it. “It’ll feel cold at first, but it gets better.” Blaine warned. “Also try to relax. It helps.” Kurt nodded, burying his face in the pillow, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
Blaine sat on Kurt’s legs, each of his leg’s on one side, and slowly pressed his finger on Kurt’s entrance, his entire body tingling in anticipation. Kurt hissed in pain, the feeling of Blaine’s cold finger mixing with the ache of the tight muscle being stretched.
“Relax, babe.” Blaine leaned to press another kiss to Kurt’s nape while sliding his finger further inside the boy. “G-God, Kurt,” Blaine groaned once his finger was completely in. He licked his lips, remembering himself to take it slow. He pulled his finger back slowly and then pushed it inside it completely again. He did it a couple times until he could feel the muscle stretching. “I’m gonna put a second finger.” Blaine warned, putting more lube on his fingers. He pressed the fingers on Kurt’s entrance, stroking Kurt’s hair lightly with the other hand. Once his finger were completely in, he crocked one of them, looking for Kurt’s pro-
“God damn it!” Kurt cursed, feeling as if electricity was running through his veins, sending shocks of pleasure through all of his body. “Blaine.” He moaned, lowering his hips, trying to make Blaine hit the spot again.
“I guess you liked that, then.” Blaine smirked, brushing on Kurt’s prostate again, the boy moaning out loud, his breath caught on his throat. Blaine inserted a third finger and, soon, Kurt was already thrusting down eagerly.
“Blaine, I want you.” Kurt finally managed to say. “Please.” He whined.
Blaine smiled, taking off his fingers. “Look at me.” Kurt turned his head, his eyes meeting Blaine’s. “I love you.” Blaine said, leaning to capture Kurt’s lips in a slow, tender kiss.
He ripped the condom’s package and grabbed the condom, rolling it onto his cock and coating it with lube. He put the bottle on Kurt’s drawer and, without thinking twice; he pressed his cock on Kurt’s entrance, the boy letting out a whimper of pain.
“I’ll go slowly.” Blaine put both of his hands on Kurt’s hips, moving his hips forward slowly, his eyes closing at the amazing sensation of the tight heat around him. It wasn’t long until he was completely inside Kurt and he could swear he had never felt that good in his entire life. Kurt was so tight and hot and-Perfect that was the right world, perfect. “How do you feel?”
“Full.” Kurt murmured, breathless. Blaine laughed and Kurt joined him, trying not to think too much. He took a deep breath, feeling the burning ache going away. “You can move.”
Blaine nodded and, tightening his grip on Kurt’s hips, he pulled slowly, until only the tip of his cock was inside Kurt. He pushed inside again, repeating the process slowly, until Kurt got used to the feeling and started to thrust, out of peace, most times, but it didn’t matter because this was Kurt, the boy he loved more than anything in the world. As soon as he was 100% sure Kurt would be okay he started thrusting faster, trying to hit Kurt’s prostate. And he did, if the way Kurt moaned his name, throwing his head back and tightening his ass around Blaine were anything to go by. After Blaine hit the bundle of nerves for the first time Kurt started to try and match Blaine’s pace with every thrust, letting out a whine of frustration when he didn’t.
“Blai-Blaine,” Kurt called, breathless. “I’m gonna-I’m gonna come.”
Blaine moved one of his hands from Kurt’s hips to his hair, pulling the boy by the hair and crashing their lips together, their tongues moving messily as Blaine continued thrusting, harder and faster, hitting Kurt’s prostate every time. Blaine slowly moved his other hand to Kurt’s cock, pumping it as fast as he could while still kissing the boy and thrusting inside him. Not long after, Kurt moaned low in his throat, his ass tightening around Blaine as he came, his legs trembling. Blaine barely had time to see Kurt’s face before he felt the familiar warmth in his stomach spreading through his body, his vision becoming white as he came, harder than ever, his hips jerking forwards as he rode out of his orgasm.
Kurt hissed when Blaine pulled out, not even wanting to think about how sore he’d be tomorrow. He rolled, lying on his back, seeing Blaine throwing the condom on the trash. He had to find a way to disappear with that before his father saw that, despite how much Burt liked Blaine, Kurt didn’t think his father would be really happy if he found out that.
“Hey, I’ll get some tissues.” Blaine said, already getting off the bed.
Kurt nodded, smiling at the view of Blaine’s perfect ass. He still couldn’t believe he wasn’t a virgin anymore. He had managed to do it. And he hadn’t screwed up anything. Everything had been perfect, sure, it hadn’t been like he imagined, but, again, reality was so much better than dreams.
He walked towards his closet and grabbed new boxers, putting them on as he the other one on his laundry pile. He could feel the mix of sweat and come starting to cool and he felt like a shower would be the best thing at the moment, but he just felt too tired to do it. He went back to his bed, which had turned into a mess of sheets and blankets, probably soaked with sweat but Kurt didn’t really care right now.
He climbed in his bed and shortly after Blaine climbed next to him, already in his boxers, with a handful of tissues that he passed all over Kurt’s stomach before throwing them on the trash.
Blaine lay next to Kurt, smiling when the boy scooted closer, resting his head on Blaine’s chest. “How do you feel?” Blaine asked stroking Kurt’s hair. Kurt swallowed hard, the tears blurring his vision. He didn’t trust himself to say anything so he just shook his head, burying it on Blaine’s chest, feeling the tears roll through his face. “Oh my god, Kurt, are you okay?” Blaine asked, desperate. “Did I do something wrong?”
“It’s just-“Kurt swallowed hard and looked up, smiling at Blaine. “I’ve never been happier.”
Blaine’s own eyes were soon filled with unshed tears, his throat burning. “Come here.”
Kurt propped himself up on one elbow as Blaine leaned to kiss him. Their lips met in a slow, deep kiss, that kind of kiss that lasted for a couple minutes, but it seemed to last for hours. When they pulled away Kurt had one of his hands on Blaine’s chest and the boy had one on Kurt’s hips.
“Are you okay?” Blaine asked.
“How could I not be?” Kurt murmured, feeling on the verge of tears again. “Thank you.” Kurt said, giving a peck on Blaine’s lips. “Thank you for waiting until I was ready, thank you for being so amazing, thank you for being so patient, thank you for being so understanding…” Kurt trailed off, tears rolling through his face again. “Just-“He shrugged. “Thank you for loving me.”
Blaine simply hugged Kurt, allowing the boy to bury his face on the crook of his neck, feeling the tears wet the skin. He rubbed the boy’s back slowly, running his fingers through his hair as he kissed Blaine’s neck.
“I’m the one who’s supposed to thank you.” Blaine started. “You could’ve left me after all the things I did and you never gave up on us. You never gave up on me, even when I didn’t see you; you didn’t give up on me.”
“I love you.” Kurt said, pulling back just so he could face Blaine.
Blaine’s heart melted at the sight of Kurt’s blue eyes sparkling, as if even they were smiling, and his beautiful smile, that smile that Blaine suspected he was the only one who had ever seen, the smile that rarely showed up on Kurt’s face unless he was with Blaine in a simple moment, like a picnic or just studying together, but, on those moments, there was nothing else but them, it was just two teenagers utterly and completely in love.
“I love you too, babe.”
“Can you sing to me?” Kurt asked, resting his head on Blaine’s chest. “Please?”
“I’d love to.” Blaine replied, moving one of his hands to the small of Kurt’s back and putting the other over Kurt’s hands, which were in Blaine’s chest.
“You think I'm pretty without any makeup on,
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong,
I know you get me so I let my walls come down, down,”
Kurt looked up only once more, only to smile at Blaine, sighing happily before closing his eyes again.
“Let's go all the way tonight,
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die,
you and I, we'll be young forever”
“You make me feel like I'm living a Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep Let's run away and
Don't ever look back, don't ever, look back”
“My heart stops when you look at me,
Just one touch now baby I believe
This is real so take a chance and
Don't ever look back, don't ever look back”
By the time Blaine was done with the 1st chorus Kurt’s breathing was already steady, the boy already asleep. Blaine looked down at him, his heart filling with joy and love and he knew that even if he wanted to he wouldn’t have been able to keep singing as the tears made his throat close. Closing his eyes he hugged Kurt tighter, breathing slower and slower, until he was also asleep and, in that night, more than in any other night, their hearts kept beating together, at the same pace, two becoming one.
Comments
This was really good. I am glad that Blaine was willing to fight for Kurt and that Wes was able to show Blaine that the way he acted with Sebastian was not ok. It was so great to see Kurt and Blaine come together and make love for the first time. It was sweet how caring Blaine was and I thought that the part where they were expressing how they felt was awesome. I can't wait to see what happens next.
omg, thank you soooooo much, this made me smile and, well, thanks haha. I'm glad you liked :)
aww i love this book dec 21st is a long time but its worth the wait :)