Yup, I’ve been having a lovely week. With the amount of text messages I haven’t gotten from Kurt, I’m having a fucking wonderful week aren’t I. Sarcasm at it’s best. I can’t help but worry, especially after everything he told me about his harassment issues. His bully sounds much worse then mine ever were, and because I know first hand how awful people can be I’m worried. I realize I just met the boy, but if you were in my situation you would worry to wouldn’t you? I’m just being a good human being, it has nothing to do with the fact that I could just watch him blink for days, and regret nothing. Nope, that has nothing to do with this. I need to send him a text, but it can’t be something as simple as “hey” or “how are you”, it has to have something with meaning.

Courage.

It’s exactly what I needed someone to say to me when I was being tormented. It’s only one word, but it’s got such an underlying message. Sending the text, proved to be harder then it seemed, what if he doesn’t text me back? What if he didn’t mean it when he said we would keep in touch? So many what if’s and yet I sent it anyways. Knowing very well that I was being and idiot. Just knowing that it might have helped me had I of had someone to say just that to me.

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Kurt did end up texting me back, but what it said frightened me more so than anything. He suggested that we meet for coffee, and being as obsessed with him as I have been. I accepted immediately, of course I knew that it was something important if we couldn’t simply talk about it over text. Not that I’m complaining I’d give anything to look into his eyes again. The only issue I could find with meeting Kurt for coffee was that Lima was around 2 hours away, there were multiple coffee shops close to Dalton, and I’m sure there are some close to McKinley.

Deciding on meeting at the Lima Bean, which was quite the drive for both of us, but it was about as in between as we were about to get. Clearly this was important, and I needed to be there for Kurt. I’d come to the decision that he didn’t need a love interest, and that I needed to be a friend to him more than anything. For now at least, I’ve been through the hell he’s going through. I need to be what I lacked, for Kurt.

Just entering the Lima Bean and seeing the look on his face, I knew that it was far worse than I could have anticipated. “He kissed me”. What the actual fuck? This is completely my fault. If I hadn’t of told him to stand up to Karofsky none of this would have happened. I’ve now ruined any legitimate chance at friendship we had. “Don’t blame yourself Blaine, and don’t tell me you aren’t, I can tell by the look of panic on your face. I didn’t have to stand up to him, but I did. And now I can move on from this point.” Don’t… don’t blame myself? How could he possibly… of course I’m going to blame myself? It was my stupid advice that got him into this! How could I have done that to him, and now the bullying is going to get so much worse?

Maybe all hope isn’t lost; Kurt and I devised a plan to confront Karofsky about the kiss. Well, Kurt planned I mostly just smiled and nodded at whatever he said. Never before have I been so mesmerized by a person. Shit, getting off track again. The plan. Yes, I would drive to McKinley, meet with Kurt, find Karofsky, confront him, and hope to god we survive the entire ordeal. Personally I was just so glad that Kurt didn’t hate me after what I did (although he constantly insists that it isn’t my fault). Could anyone honestly blame me though? The boy I’ve been thinking about constantly gets sexually assaulted on the grounds of taking my advice. Who wouldn’t feel awful about that?

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Okay, so maybe the Karofsky plan wasn’t the greatest, it resulted in me being pushed into a fence, and Kurt admitting that he had never been kissed properly before that. God, how I wanted to take everything I said back and just man up and ask the boy on a damn date. Too late for all that now I suppose, now it’s time to rehabilitate Kurt after everything that happened. The process would be kind of difficult with him being two hours away, but still worth it. Anything for him is worth it.

I sound like a little boy who just got his first present. I barely know him! But jesus do I want to know him, I want to know everything there is to know about Kurt Hummel.

“I’m transferring to Dalton”

Oh. Well that might help…