Time feels like it has stopped, the world outside seeming to zoom past whilst Blaine's own private little world feeling like it's slipping away from its very core. Seconds somehow still manage to skip past minutes altogether and literally feel like hours, hours of a stand-still, silence and staring. Kurt's face, his beautiful face and his round and wide eyes like never ending galaxies zone in and out Blaine's vision, his main focus. He feels like the world is tipped on an axis whilst he waits, whilst he watches. His heart pounding, feeling like it's rising in his throat, restricting his air flow. 

He's vaguely aware of footsteps above their heads, both soft and hard, followed by a loud gentle thump, something that sounds like a door creaking open and then the sounds become closer and considerably louder, until footfalls can be heard from over by the stair case and then out in the hall, nearing the closed door where they are tucked just behind. A heart breaking, terrifying reality hidden away from another reality altogether.

Blaine tries to listen hard, past the pumping of his heart, the blood rushing through his veins and projecting through his ears and the pounding of his chest and ribcage. He feels breathless, almost winded with the colossal amount of feelings and emotions running through, nineteen to the dozen. He's feeling something vague, something cautious and weary, noting his conscious of what's right and what's appropriate. 

He tries to pull his focus away from the look of Kurt lips, so full and pink, and wet and loose. He tracks the movement of Kurt's hand harshly digging into his own hair, his breathing huffing out in desperate pants. Blaine manages a quick glance towards the door, where the now unmistakable sound of Burt moving heavy footed, heaving a duffel bag across the squeaky shiny floorboards get's louder as he passes. His throat is tightening and his fingers and feet are itching to move, to escape, it feels like the four walls are literally closing in on him.  

He starts to move, slowly, careful steps, a heavy foot followed by a heavy leg, one at a time, he can't take it, cant take the wait or silence, it's eating him inside out, if this is it, if this is the end, then it needs to be now, not later. It's like slow motion, heavy limbed movements against a fast paced conveyer belt. Blaine can barely feel his own body, his head light on his shoulders, like he's swimming in an endless pit.

And then Kurt is suddenly just there in front of him, between him and the door, blocking his path, with eyes like shards of sun-tinted glass, glistening wildly. He shakes his head slowly, his voice coming out more breath, gruff and hoarse than actually vocalised, though still steady and soft.

“No,” Blaine takes a sharp breath, feels the force of Kurt's words. “No,” Kurt repeats a little louder. “You don't get to say-to talk like that and then just leave. Stay, you're staying here.”

His cheeks flush and Blaine can't quite pinpoint what emotion he sees flashing across his face and features and through those bewitched eyes. A loud electronic ding rings out from behind the door out in the hallway indicating that the elevator has been called up. They share a look, a look of brief panic and worry and then Kurt is opening the door in a flurry with a light shake of his head, and stumbling out into the hallway, his shoes echoing out against the wood, as he half asses an attempt at mumbling out something intelligible towards his dad's direction.

Blaine gets to the doorway, peeking his head out, just on time to see Kurt slide into the elevator, saddling up alongside a shocked looking Burt with his luggage. Just before the doors slide to a close with a vibrating hum, their eyes catch, wild, wide and bright, and Blaine knows exactly what Kurt is telling him without even having to open his mouth.

Stay. You're staying here.

*

By the time that Kurt finally returns to the condo, the sky outside is painted a dark purpling blue, with a slight chill in the air. Blaine sits in the middle of his bed, his skin slightly shivering but still shower warm from when he'd spent long minutes soaking himself under the harsh hot pelts of down pour, trying to kick some feeling into the numbness that had overtook his body. Afterwards he'd changed into a dark red cable-knit sweater and jeans, and carelessly swiped some product through his hair, because wherever he may end up tonight, nobody deserves to see his frizz-dry curls.

He sits stiffly, his arms hugging his knees, eyes blinking bleakly over the tops into the hollow darkness of the room. He isn't sure how much time has passed, hasn't been able to look at his phone where he'd thrown it into his messenger bag, and has left his new Tiffany watch discarded in the top drawer of his nightstand, he doesn't need it, he doesn't need reminders.   

Because of the eerily quiet emptiness of the house, Blaine hears the elevator arrive, the doors sliding open and only one pair footsteps striding across the hardwood panels, no voices, Kurt has returned alone.

He hears the quiet creak of the stair case, and isn't surprised when moments later his bedroom door opens. He doesn't look up, keeps his chin tucked between his knees and his eyes downcast towards the bed covers. He doesn't need to see Kurt for this, Kurt can tell him what he needs to, he can fire him and then he can leave. Like ripping off a band aid, he thinks, quick and easy and pain free, at least for now, until he can allow himself to feel again.

The doors closes again quietly and the footsteps continue, Blaine can just see the tops of Kurt's socked feet coming closer to the bed, he's taken his shoes off, well it would be a shame to ruin the upstairs flooring. The night stand lamp clicks on, dimly lighting the room, and the mattress dips, Blaine's knees falling down to the mattress with the movement, his head raising slowly, curiously.

“Hey.” Their eyes finally connect, and the sight almost takes Blaine's breath away. Kurt's eyes are the softest shade of green Blaine has ever seen them, rimmed with blue and dotted with silver, completely alight, crinkled with thought and wonder, and big in his flushed gorgeous face. Kurt's still wearing the clothes he'd had on earlier and Blaine can tell where the nip of the night air has caught his skin, without a scarf or a coat to warm him. His lips are pressed together, not quite smiling but certainly not unhappy.

“Hi.” Blaine replies, unsure of what else to say, of what he should be saying. Kurt bends his legs underneath himself and gets comfortable, their legs brushing against each other with the shift. He picks at a loose thread in the covers where Jester's claws have obviously explored, Jester who's obviously been wise enough to steer well clear within a five mile radius of tonight's events.  

“My dad is staying with Sam tonight, he's ok.” Kurt's voice is so gentle, with his head tilted to the side while he talks, his eyes searching Blaine's, like he's gauging the situation, like Blaine is a frightened stray animal poised to break free at any moment, and Kurt just can't, doesn't want that to happen.

Blaine nods and looks down to watch Kurt's long fingers trace the pattern of the duvet. “Did you two talk? Are you both ok?” He looks back up to find Kurt nodding back at him, slowly and lightly.

“We did, and yes I think so, now we are. I don't want to talk about that now though. Not yet.” Now it's Blaine's turn to nod, looking back down, averting his gaze like a scolded child, awaiting punishment, he's barely keeping the grimace from his face.

“Are you ok?” He decides to ask without looking back up, he doesn't need to see, he just wants to know, as long as Kurt is ok and Blaine has sent him hurdling into a downwards spiral.

He startles when Kurt suddenly reaches out and takes both of his hands between his own, his long fingers smooth and cool, his skin is still warming from the chill of the outside breeze, and it sends a thrill through Blaine's veins and gooseflesh scurrying over his forearms.

“Blaine-” Blaine doesn't have to look up to see the slight smile in Kurt's voice, he can hear it, and it feels like sunrise on a hot summers day. Blaine starts shaking his head anyway, dread and doubt overpowering his thoughts and better judgement.

“God I'm sorry Kurt, I'm so, so sorry.” He pauses, bites his lip and finally looks up, his eyes hues of hazel and flecks of green locked on to Kurt's. “I-I mean I'm not sorry for what I said, honestly I meant that Kurt, but I am sorry for how I said it and how I-god I was just so out of line-”

Kurt climbs on to his knees, tugs on their entwined hands so that their bodies are only inches apart, their chests heaving together, breaths filling the air and small space between them. “I'm sorry too.”

“What-why, you have no reason- it was me-”

“Oh shush Blaine,” Kurt husks, humour lightly curled into the words. “I have every reason to say sorry, and you know it. I've been a complete asshole, and you totally have not deserved all of the crap that I've put you through-”

“You tried to warn me Kurt.” Kurt's reply dies on his tongue, swallowed by a deep intake of breath.

“Wh-what-”

“You told me that you couldn't make me any promises, you tried to stay away from me, you tried to warn me not too fall for you and I did anyway, I didn't listen but I'm not stupid, I read the signs, I saw them.” His lips quirk, and he lightly rocks their hands between their bent legs, courage seeming to get the better of him, adrenaline fuelled bravery pumping him up, encouraging him. “The truth is, I'd already fallen for you, I was already a goner, nothing was going to deter me. Call me a fool-” He smirks, followed by a low giggle.

Kurt can't help but smile and laugh breathlessly, “You're hardly foolish, Blaine.

A fool isn't as brave and strong and clever as you are. And by the way, where is this attitude when it comes to your career?”

“I have a career.” Blaine sounds affronted.

“Yes you do. But not yours, not what you would have chosen for yourself-”

“I chose this Kurt, I chose to apply and interview for you.”

“You didn't know what you were letting yourself in for, you'd done no research-”

“You hired me.” He accuses, though his tone is light, his eyes shining with warmth, lips tugging up at the corners. Kurt nods, smirking.

“We've been over this. I couldn't have possibly not have.”

Blaine shrugs and sighs deeply, their eyes lingering, palms warming within each others, hearts racing.

“I guess I took a leap of faith.” Blaine says after a while quietly and softly, his voice both lifts and cracks slightly at the edges.

“And did it work?” Kurt's voice deepens and lowers to a hush, leaning in slowly. Blaine shrugs again, eyes darkening.

“You tell me, did it?”

Kurt finally leans in all of the way, closing the gap between them. Slowly he takes Blaine's lips between his own, swallowing his surprised gasp and responsive moan, murmuring his reply between soft, wet strokes. “You weren't the only one who took a leap, you know, and I'd say yes, it did, it worked.”

Kurt gently lowers them down to the mattress, sprawling himself firmly over Blaine's chest, his fingers clutching at his sweater. Blaine nips his lip between his teeth, bumps their noses together.

“I still don't expect promises from you Kurt.” His voice is weak, breathy and hushed. “I don't want your promises, just your permission, permission that you'll let me try, that you'll let me push and hope and want-”

Kurt peppers his face with kisses, starts the delicious decline to his jaw.

“Blaine.” His eyes darken like storm clouds. “I'll let you do, I'll let you have anything you want, my word, my time, my promises, they're all yours, only ever yours. You have no idea what you've done, what you do for me, there's no way that I could ever-” 

Blaine rolls them over, pushing himself up and over with every ounce of strength that he still possesses, growling lightly through his teeth, a sound which is almost triumphant, whilst he kisses Kurt with fervour, the heat sizzling between them. They watch each other intently, listening and savouring each moan and groan that escapes one another, whilst each layer of clothing is peeled from their bodies, achingly sinfully slow.

They look at each other deep and careful, their eyes dark and full of meaning and silent questioning, but by the time Blaine is fully unclothed, with Kurt equally gloriously naked he's found himself happily on his back again. There was only ever going to be one answer to that question tonight of all nights. Blaine needs Kurt, in and out, surrounding him, filling him up, filling that void, and not just in the physical sexual sense but in all ways. 

With his knees bent and legs spread, Blaine thrusts his hips upwards greedily as Kurt gets to work stretching him open with slick fingers, as quickly and efficiently as each other will allow right now. The tube of lubricant had been easy to dig out of the side drawer and Blaine's body had been anything but tense and tight. He was ready for Kurt, had been more than ready for so, so long. There is no need for any pretence, no need for anything else, there's time for that later. But for now just this, just them, connected wholly and fully, finally.  

When Kurt manages a third finger alongside the others, knuckle deep, Blaine is whimpering impatiently below him, he doesn't need to ask, he doesn't need to beg, Kurt knows what he wants, what he needs, and he's going to take care of him. Blaine knows that he will, that he's the only one who can.

“Blaine-” Kurt hisses as he removes his fingers and grinds down, their erections both hard and wet and ready, prodding and teasing against each other. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's shoulders, his hands firmly palming each defined muscle which frames his shoulder blades, stopping him from moving up and away. Blaine knows what Kurt's about to do and he doesn't need to. They don't need anything between them, they don't anything ever but themselves, flesh and blood, live and full and raw. 

“No,” Blaine grounds out, with his jaw clenched. A delicious sheen of sweat lines his forehead and the nape of his neck, loosening his curls. He kisses Kurt's face. “Just you.” He whispers, kisses his jaw down to his neck. “Just you, nothing else.”

Kurt nods and groans, swivels his hips causing them both to cry out.

“There's no-one else, only you.” He says by way of response, hoping that Blaine will get it, that he will know.

Blaine's eyes roll to the back of his head, pupils darkening, he slides his hands down to Kurt's hips, squeezes and tugs him down hard and fast.

“I know. You're it for me. We're it.” He knows, they both do.

Kurt digs his fingers into Blaine's sweat slick curls with the first push, his toned arms and legs trembling with held back force and desire as he slides his body forwards, balanced on his knees and strong thighs, hovering over Blaine's body whilst he presses in, achingly slow and precise.

Finally. Blaine's whole body feels like its on fire, trembling as Kurt slides into him. Filling him up, so whole and full and pure, so right. He feels like how he was always meant to be, pieces falling into place, his heart slotting back together and locking in tight.

“Yes.” Blaine whispers, his face buried into Kurt's neck, panting hot and wet. “Yes Kurt, god yes, it's-you're-”

Kurt nudges their faces together, kisses him quiet, hisses through wet presses and clashes of teeth and slick slides of tongue.

“I know, baby, I know.” Blaine's skin shivers, his whole body threatening to convulse off of the massive with the term of endearment, he whimpers shamelessly.

When Kurt finally bottoms out, they lie still for a few silent moments, forehead to forehead breathing and feeling, accommodating the delicious stretch and the pleasurable tight burn, their arms and legs practically wrapped around each other. There's no space between them, no slither of skin that isn't touched, they're connected through body and mind, and maybe, quite possibly by soul.

Blaine can feel Kurt's heart beating steadily up above him, pressed to his chest, he can feel his cock buried deep within him, pulsing and throbbing, it feels perfect, it's just perfect, just right. Blaine squeezes, lifts a leg to wrap around Kurt's waist. “Kurt. Kurt, honey please-”

Kurt moves his head, presses his mouth lazily against Blaine and whispers. “Ok. Yes, ok.”

He begins to move so slowly, in short gentle thrusts, and Blaine feels ignited with it, he feels like everything he thought he would and more. When the tightness between them begins to ebb and slacken, the pace quickens, Kurt grunting with each thrust and grind he offers, harder each time, and harder again still, his hands sliding down to bracket Blaine's waist and position them both perfectly just the way he wants, the way he needs it.

“Blaine, god Blaine, fuck yes. Yes.” Kurt moans, swivelling his hips. “So tight, so perfect, so mine, finally mine. ”

“Yours.” Blaine pants, moving his hips on time with Kurt's, curling his legs tight around him. He feels dizzy, flying on air. “Fuck yes, I'm yours, fuck me, please, don't stop.”

The sound Kurt makes is guttural, like a growl, curling up through his chest and throat and ripping past his lips, as he hammers into Blaine with gusto. It's fast yes, growing faster and harder by the second, but no less passionate, no less laced with feelings and unlimited desire. Lust, wrapped with love, that's what this is. Blaine feels his pulse quicken, feels his stomach tighten and pull, deep and low, his whole body quivering.

“Kurt I'm, I'm, I have to-” He's not even ashamed, he's wanted this for so long, he's surprised that he's last this long at all.

Kurt lifts his body upwards, slows his movement and starts fucking Blaine in long and slow drawls, finding and hitting his prostate in that perfect spot as he moves a hand in-between their sweaty shaking bodies. Blaine cries out when Kurt's warm moist palm tightens around his cock, his fingers expertly squeezing in all of the right places at the right times, his thumb caressing the pink flushed head of it, spreading out the pearly drops of pre-come, the perfect amount of friction. His pumping cock relentless inside of him, Kurt is literally touching and fucking him into a complete state of ecstasy with no intention of stopping.

“K-Kurt, shit, I-” He's almost winded and breathless, any voice he has left rasped and hoarse. Kurt moans and smiles against his lips, hips jolting forward and fist flying.

“Yes that's it sweetheart. God the sounds you make for me. I love them. Come for me, that's it.”

Blaine comes wordlessly but not soundlessly, his throat scratching as he cries out, eyes squeezed shut, body quivering deliciously and arms and legs falling limply to the sides as Kurt fucks him through it.                     

“There we go baby, that's it.” Vision begins to return to Blaine in blurriness and faded patches, his mind clicking back to in place as his cock gives one last weak spurt, gushing out hot and thick over his stomach, and Kurt's, he cries out Kurt's name, the four letters rolling off of his tongue expertly.

Kurt clamps down on his shoulder, grunting and moaning past his teeth as he thrusts and grinds and fucks and then he's finally coming, filling Blaine with all that he has, pounding into him wetly until there's nothing left to give and he's collapsing on top of Blaine's chest, his name a breathless gasp past his lips.

They lie still and damp, hot and sticky for god only knows how long, their stomachs and chests glued together and each other's breath warm and wet on their skin. Kurt presses a kiss to Blaine's shoulder, his lips rubbing softly against his fading teeth marks, the sting a delicious volt of pleasure.

Kurt slowly, tentatively lifts himself up, Blaine takes his face in his hands, his eyes wide and urgent, panic stricken. Kurt leans down and in, kisses Blaine's lips again and again, hard and meaningful.

“I'm not going anywhere, don't worry I'll be right be back.” His eyes telling a thousand truths.

He's right, he sticks to his word. Kurt gets up to fetch a damp cloth from Blaine's en-suite and fills up a water glass from his wash basin. When he returns he cleans them both up, lifts Blaine's head to gently pour some water past his lips, and then climbs back into bed beside him, rolling them over into a dry a spot and taking Blaine into his arms, back to chest, kissing the nape of his neck.

Blaine can hardly believe it, can hardly believe what's happened, how vastly different this has all ended up compared to how he had planned it in his head. He can feel Kurt's heart beating through his warm chest pressed to his back, he can't help but smile giddily, his face half smushed into his crumpled pillows.

Kurt spies Blaine's packed bags propped up in the doorway of his closet, that he had gotten ready earlier in his worried and frantic haste, not knowing what his fate here at the condo and in Kurt's life would end up like.

“Planning on going somewhere?” Kurt mumbles, teasing and tightening his arms. Blaine just grins harder, ducks and kisses Kurt's arm, letting Kurt feel him shake his head in answer.

“Spring clear out.” He says, his voice cracking with laughter.

“Of course,” Kurt breathes. “What are you smiling at?” Kurt squeezes his side playfully and Blaine smiles harder, rolls over in his arms so that they're facing each other, noses rubbing, it all feels too good to be true.

“I don't know,” He says truthfully, even trying to find a through explanation, would consist of too many words and too much time and energy. Kurt kisses his nose. “That was fucking amazing by the way, god, how you felt-”

Kurt laughs, high and breathless, cheeks flushing but nodding along, eyes shining if not a little smugly. “Oh good, god of course it was.” He breathes, his hair sticking up against the pillow case.

“We'll talk, I promise,” Kurt says quietly after a while of just looking at each other, drinking it all in, breathing and thinking deeply. “I'll tell you anything that you want to know, later, another time when we can-” Blaine crinkles his nose, nudges Kurt's cheek with his nose.

“Do we really have to?” Kurt frowns adorably, and Blaine grins at him.

“Huh?”

“I love you. A lot. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I'm working for you, I enjoy it, you'd be a mess without me, wouldn't know how to organise yourself-” Kurt's barks a laugh, his eyes dancing in the soft lamp light. “What else is there to talk about Kurt? You had a tough time, you dealt with it, you got rich-” Kurt pokes him and Blaine nips his jaw in return, he continues. “You're successful, your talented and intelligent, you're beautiful,” Kurt blushes and Blaine bites his own lip, smiling, loving the sight, loving the way he can make Kurt feel and how it shows. “You had shit to deal with, but you dealt all the same, you needed somebody-”

“And here you are.” Kurt finishes for him, matter of fact. Blaine nods, leans in and kisses his forehead.

“Here I am. Always.” He whispers.

“I only pushed you away, kept you waiting, kept you at a distance for so long, because I couldn't even trust myself, before I starting trusting others, again. I knew what you wanted, what you deserved and I thought that I just couldn't give you that-”

“You know that you're wrong now right?” Blaine says, gently teasing, his hand stroking up and down Kurt's side. Kurt nods, smiling.

“Yeah,” He whispers. “I think that I do, I finally do.”

“Good, because my persuading techniques are very tiring-” He grins smugly and Kurt raises an eye brow.

“Oh? Well may I should just check them out anyway, you know just in case.” Blaine nods, brushing his lips against Kurt's, his chin, his jaw, his neck.

“Maybe you should.”

“Will you do something for me?” Kurt says, suddenly sitting up a little on his elbow and smiling at Blaine's groan of complaint, though he leans forward and presses a kiss to his chest. He was quite enjoying the intended direction of Blaine's escapades, but he has to say this piece. 

“Anything?”

“Let me help you?”

“What?”

“Just hear me out ok.” Kurt strokes his fingers through Blaine's hair reassuringly, soothingly, and Blaine nods silently, eyes wide and curious, willing Kurt to continue.

“You're, you will always have a job here with me, I never want to lose you, ever, in any way, so however long you want to continue to work for me in whatever way you want than it's done, it's yours-”

Blaine sits up now, head tilting curiously. “Um thanks, I guess-” He says, questionably, humoured and light and teasing. “But Kurt you know that I love my job, I'll never want to leave-”

“But I want you to explore too.” Blaine opens his mouth and then closes it, and when Kurt is sure that he's not going to interrupt he continues. “Fame and fortune isn't everything, we've all learnt that one, but it has its advantages, so please help me by letting me help you. Let me use my career and my status to kick start yours, at least just put you on the map-” Blaine sits up fully now, rapidly shaking his head back and forth.

“Kurt no, I don't want that, I don't need that. Thank you, so much, but I have my music still, I play, you've heard me play, I'm cool-” Kurt sits up now too, the sheets falling around them. He carefully cups Blaine's jaw.

“Blaine don't fight me on this please, think about it. You're stupidly talented, and I'm not suggesting that you need me because you don't, you'll get to where you want to be on your own, I'm sure of it. But at least just let me open some doors for you, talk to some insiders, help you find some quiet venues to start off. Let me do this for you, like you have done everything for me. You want this still Blaine, you still want it, I know you do, you can have more than one dream, you can want more than one thing, its ok.”

Blaine eyes start to well, tears stinging hotly behind his lids as he tries to blink them away, his skin flushing and chest thumping hard. His expression crumbling, from shocked to delighted to torn. Kurt had to be other-worldly, he couldn't be real, he's too perfect to be real.

“What about you?” He sniffs, rubbing his face into Kurt's palms, nuzzling and moving to place a soft kiss at the centre.

“What about me?”

“Will you allow yourself to live more than one dream too?”

“Blaine what are-”

“Will you do it with me? Can we explore together, would you consider it?” The ‘it' in question doesn't have to be stated clearly for both men to know what exactly is implied, but even with the slight unknown Kurt finds himself nodding anyway, his throat working and licking his lips, words building their way up and out, rasped and hoarse.

“We'll talk about it, yeah, of course.” Blaine's smile could be bright enough to light a runway, he throws himself into Kurt's arms, forcing him back down to the mattress and flopping down over him. “Besides-” Kurt rumbles from underneath him, “I'd be too jealous if you got too big and ‘star' like, we're just talking like little league here-” He says, teeth peeking out bright and mischievous. 

“Oh yeah, ok.” Blaine laughs, eyes rolling, bumping their heads and noses together.  

“I do too you know, by the way.” Kurt says after some time, almost too softly, too quietly. Blaine beams down at him, eyes and brow crinkled in deep thought and question.

“You do what by the way?” Kurt blows out a deep breath and Blaine feels like he could literally fall into his eyes, deep cloudy bottomless pools, wondrous.

“I-I love you too. A lot, a lot.”

And there it is, just when he thought that his heart couldn't expand any more, when he thought that he couldn't fall any harder, any deeper. Four words, just four little words that can literally change a person's life, can cement and secure for years to come, and then another few words thrown in there just for good measure.  

Maybe there is stuff to clear up still, things to air out, demons to unearth, public and press to placate, and small matters and such but that can all wait, it will all come with time. What matters is right here, right now.

Blaine leans down, kisses him and kisses him, again and again, and he can feel it. He can feel the truth and the reverence in Kurt's words, he can feel his love.

“Blaine,” Kurt mumbles, during an intake of breath, smiling against his lips.

“Mmmm?” Blaine mouths at his jaw, travelling downwards with his body crawling backwards, adventurous and insatiable even in their not so young yet still not old age.

“That's not an Until further Notice thing. This is it. A closed deal. You're it.”

This is it, Blaine thinks, he knows, smiling into Kurt's skin. This is definitely it.