Before I open the door, I glance at the alarm clock on my nightstand. Two in the morning. I'm sure that neither Rachel nor Jesse would wake me in the middle of the night since it's the very last day of training tomorrow. We'll have to show the Gamemakers what we can do in private sessions, then we 'll get scored. The scores are pivotal to have sponsors in the arena.

I quickly abandon the thought of being in the arena in a few days, unlock the door and open it. "Blaine?" I ask, staring openly with wide eyes. Blaine looks... handsome, even at night. Especially at night. His curls are unruly, wild even, as if he'd been tossing and turning in his bed, unable to fall asleep. His golden eyes look a lot darker now, maybe it's because of the light, or maybe it's due to a lack of sleep. He smells like mint toothpaste and shampoo. His lips curl into an apologetic smile as he whispers, "I hope I didn't wake you up." I shake my head and step aside so that he can come in.

Once inside, Blaine walks towards the bed and sits down on the ruffled sheets. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with my hands so I wring my fingers together. Blaine is the one to break the uncomfortable silence.

"About... what happened on the roof... I'm so sorry if I was too forward... or if you're not..." I quickly interrupt him. "It's alright, don't worry." Blaine smiles at me and I look down at my hands. Eventually, he pats the spot beside him and I sit down, though I keep distance. Blaine doesn't seem to care about that. He scoots closer until his thigh is pressed against mine. His breath tickles my cheek as he leans in.

"So... about our deal..." - "I already said yes." Suddenly my voice is high-pitched and breathless. Blaine chuckles and says, "I know, I came here to make another... proposition." I turn my head to look at him and immediately regret it. Blaine is too close. I can feel his breath on my lips, our noses barely touching, the rich colour of his eyes piercing through the darkness. A cocky smile spreads on Blaine's lips when he sees how uncomfortable I am. Idiot. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

I shake my head and try to get away from him but his strong, firm hands grip my shoulders and hold me in place. I try to be calm and breathe. In, out, in, out. Blaine's hands stay on my shoulders for a moment before he runs them down my upper arms and grabs my elbows.�

I try my best to keep my breath steady. In, out, in, out. Blaine's gaze drops to my mouth. Breathe. In, out. My heart races as his thumb strokes my cheekbone. "Kurt," Blaine breathes. I close my eyes, the sensitive skin of my throat and neck tingling under the feathery touch of Blaine's hand. I can smell his unique scent mixed with toothpaste and take a deep breath. "Look at me," Blaine mutters. I open my eyes and look right into Blaine's. This close, they're even more beautiful. Blaine leans in even closer, his nose brushing over mine, sending shivers down my spine. His left hand still rests on my neck, his thumb caressing the soft spot behind my ear, the other hand taking mine. I'm suddenly overwhelmed of how good it feels to hold another person's hand. A person that isn't part of the family. I sigh, close my eyes again and rest my forehead against Blaine's, feeling his lips curl into a smile. Blaine gently squeezes my hand and I dare to squeeze back. What's happening to me?�

All of a sudden reality overwhelms me. My eyes snap open and I let go of Blaine's hand, standing up, eager to get away from him. "No," I say, trying to keep my voice firm. Blaine takes hold of my shirt. He won't let go. "Kurt..." I breathe in. He sounds hurt. Rejected. I slump on the bed, lying on my back. I look up at Blaine who stares back. "Blaine, I- we can't. We're... tributes. We have to kill each other at some point." I see the look in Blaine's eyes and wish I hadn't said anything. "We don't, we're allies," he whispers, barely audible. I shake my head and sit up. "Even allies have to get rid of each other eventually. Remember, only one victor. I- I can't do this." I almost apologise but then I remember that I have nothing to be sorry for. Blaine was the one who came here tonight. It's�his�fault, not mine. Why do I feel bad?

Maybe because I want to feel something. Anything. It's been so long since I felt something else than hunger and sorrow for Finn. I've been trying to keep every other feeling away from me. I never needed anyone or anything to survive. I could take care for me and my family. I kept love out of my life, mostly because there's never been anyone else like me in District 12. But now... Everything feels so different with Blaine. It's not love, no. It's something much bigger than that. Even though I don't know much about him, I feel like I can trust Blaine. When I thought about getting allies, he came to my mind. There's something about him I can't quite put my finger on but it fascinates me for some reason. It makes me want to get to know him better. It makes me want him to get to know me.�

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. He looks at me gently, gentler than anybody has ever looked at me. I manage to tear my eyes away from his plump lips and look into his honey-golden eyes. My heart jolts when he smiles at me. "Kurt, you're so..." - "Pathetic?" I interrupt him. He looks at me surprised. "Kurt, you're not pathetic. I- I meant to say you're... you're so beautiful." I look at him for what feels like eternity. No one's ever called me that. One time I heard some girls giggling and calling me handsome when I passed them, but this. This is something completely different. I swallow hard and whisper, "No- no one's ever... Uhm... Thank you." Blaine, still smiling, strokes my wrist with his thumb.�

"So, what about that other proposition?" I ask, attempting to ignore the fact that Blaine is way too touchy and my body seems to enjoy it way too much. "Right..." Blaine says. "I'm sure you realised how... accepting the Capitol's citizens are?" I nod. Brittany and Santana aren't the only same sex couple I've seen so far. There are plenty. They all seem so happy and proud, something I'll never have. The other citizens don't seem to mind about them. Impossible in the Districts where people are too conservative and scared to let anything new in their lives. "Well, I thought it'd be pretty hard for anyone else than the Careers to get good sponsors, so I thought we could..." I raise an eyebrow. "You and me could... pretend... or not, if you like that-" - "What?" I'm baffled. "Just- just for the audience, Kurt, we wouldn't have to... to do anything if you don't want to," Blaine quickly explains. "Blaine, you-- no, I... why..." I hate being speechless. "I'm sorry," Blaine mutters. I shake my head, still trying to comprehend what he just suggested. "Actually..." I raise my head. "Actually, no, I don't want to pretend." - "Blaine, what-" Blaine looks at me and says, "I don't want to pretend to be in a relationship with you." My jaw literally drops as the words slowly reach my brain. "Blaine, no, I- my family, they'll... no, no, I can't, I'm not-"

"Kurt, I understand your concern but I... I've never felt like this before." Blaine's voice is a quiet hush but I perfectly understand every word. "I want to- to get to know you," he says, his voice trembling. He takes both of my hands in his own and quietly continues, "I hate it that we met here. And I hate that I... I'll be dead soon." - "I'll be dead, too." - "No," Blaine says, a bit louder and more fiercely.

"I meant what I said. You have an actual chance of winning this. I know you will." With these words, he shuffles closer and raises our intertwined hands to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. I shudder. "Blaine, I-" I what? I'll have to kill you at some point? I'm too scared to see you die to open up to you? Blaine is still looking at me when I make a choked sound and squeeze my eyes shut. I can feel Blaine's worried look lingering on me. Suddenly I feel sick in my stomach. "What's wrong, baby?" My eyes snap open and I wrench my hands out of Blaine's grip.�

"Don't. Don't call me that." I wrap my arms around my knees. Blaine looks at me hesitantly and mutters, "Sorry, I didn't mean to... scare you." I shake my head and try to revive the mantra I repeated in my head earlier. Stay calm. Breathe. In, out. Calm. My skin is tingling where Blaine has touched me. He's still looking at me but not saying anything.

"I didn't mean to snap at you, sorry," I mumble and look at my feet. In the corner of my eye I see Blaine shaking his head. "Don't be sorry, Kurt, I had no right to call you b-- that." I smile sadly, keeping my eyes down.

"Are you tired?" I quietly negate the question. It's three in the morning and I'm anything but tired. "I should go," Blaine says and shifts slightly. Before I can stop myself, I grip the hem of his shirt and look at him pleading. For some reason, I don't want to be alone. Not tonight. The thought of everything we'll have to face for the next weeks before we die the most cruel death is too much to deal with for me. It scares me. I'm afraid of losing everything, my family, Quinn, Blaine... I don't want to see them get killed.�I�don't want to be the one who kills Blaine. I rub my eyes and suddenly I'm angry. Angry at the Capitol for bringing us here. Angry at myself for being so stupid and letting my feelings overwhelm me. Angry at Blaine for being... Blaine. He didn't need to do anything else but be himself. And this is what makes me like and hate him the most.

Blaine looks at me surprised and opens his mouth to say something but I grip the collar of his shirt and pull him close. "Kurt, what--" I shut him up by pressing my lips against his.