May 15, 2013, 11:44 a.m.
Through The Eyes To Your Soul: Chapter 9
T - Words: 4,366 - Last Updated: May 15, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Jan 20, 2013 - Updated: May 15, 2013 717 0 6 0 1
Just a reminder! The previous chapter was in Kurt’s point of view, but we’re back to Blaine’s for a while.
Blaine calls Nick as soon as he pulls into his parents’ driveway. He left Kurt’s house in Lima over an hour and a half ago and spent the first half of the drive replaying their conversation about soulmates. Their talk had been necessary, even if it was difficult. Now Kurt knows the basic truth of Blaine’s situation with his soulmate. He just doesn’t know the specifics.
The second half of the drive home, though, Blaine began toying with an idea. He’ll need Nick’s help if he wants it to have a better chance of going smoothly, so he calls Nick as he’s getting out of his car. By the fifth ring Blaine’s sure it’s going to go to voicemail, but then Nick picks up. “Hey, Blaine.”
“I didn’t tell him it was Finn.”
There’s a pause before Nick responds. “Didn’t tell who what was Finn?”
“Kurt!” Blaine says, as if this should be obvious. “Kurt! I didn’t tell Kurt that Finn was my soulmate!”
“Right, okay, so how is today different than every other day since you’ve met Kurt?” Nick answers sarcastically.
“No, you don’t understand. I told Kurt I have a soulmate, that I know who it is, I just didn’t tell him it’s Finn.”
Nick sighs. “Blaine.”
“I couldn’t, Nick. I couldn’t do that to him.” Blaine shakes his head almost violently, even though Nick obviously can’t see him.
“Forgive me, Blaine,” Nick replies with a hard edge to his voice, “but you don’t know what it would’ve done to him. Unless you had a conversation about your feelings for him and his potential feelings for you, which I seriously doubt since you seem incapable of it, you don’t know what the hell telling Kurt about Finn would’ve done. And it isn’t fair for you to keep something this big from him just because you think it’s for his own good.”
Blaine stops and sits down silently on the steps leading up to his house, unsure how to respond. He’s saved from having to come up with something when Nick continues, softer than before. “I’m sorry, Blaine, that was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” There’s another pause, and Blaine thinks he can hear Nick trying to slow his breathing. “Really, I – I can’t say I’m necessarily sorry for what I said, but I am sorry for how I said it. There was no need for that.”
Blaine knows Nick isn’t quick to temper, which means something else must be going on. “Everything okay over the break?”
“Yeah, it’s just,” Nick pauses, “it’s a little harder at home around the holidays. Yesterday was a good day. We all went shopping together and had dinner out. Then today Mom wouldn’t get out of bed.”
“Nick, I –”
“Don’t, Blaine. It’s, well, it is what it is.” He exhales loudly over the phone. “But you called about something else. You didn’t tell Kurt that your soulmate is Finn?”
Blaine stands and climbs the steps to his front door. “No, but Nick, we don’t have to –“
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
“Nick.”
There’s another pause before Nick answers. “Blaine,” he says quietly, “the last thing I want to talk about is my mother, and I promise I’m able to mentally separate the situation with her from the situation with you and Finn. Now hurry up.” Blaine can hear the smile in his voice. “I sent Allison to the store for some stuff to make Christmas cookies, and she should be back soon.”
“If, uh, if you’re sure.” When there’s no response, Blaine continues, albeit uneasily. “I didn’t keep it from Kurt because of – not because of anything I might feel for him. Or not feel for him, I mean.” Blaine’s back in his house now and flops down on the couch in the den. “It’s just that if I tell Kurt that it’s Finn, he’ll have to keep it a secret. I’m not ready to tell Finn we’re soulmates, you know that. If I tell Kurt right now, then I’ll also have to ask him to keep it from his new brother. How is that fair? I can’t do that to him.”
“Okay, that’s actually a fair point.” Blaine closes his eyes and doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure how to bring up the real reason he’s calling. “Blaine, are you still there?” Nick asks.
“Yeah. I was calling, um, I don’t know if I should ask this now.”
Nick chuckles a little and clears his throat. “I know I scared you earlier, and I didn’t mean to. I’m fine, I promise. I just needed to vent for a second, but I’m okay. And I’m your friend, so what did you want to ask me?”
“I need your help.”
“Of course,” Nick answers immediately. “With what?”
Moment of truth. “You said you’ve looked into the two percent websites and chat rooms.”
“Yes…” Nick trails off.
“I want to try that, but I don’t want to end up on some site that’s going to scar me for life or cheat me or something. So help me,” Blaine asks. “Please.” He runs his hand through his hair and waits the few seconds it takes Nick to reply.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
That’s not the response Blaine was expecting. He was prepared for Nick to turn him down. After everything with his mother, Blaine wouldn’t have been surprised if Nick refused. But to say it might not be a good idea? “What? Yes, it is. You guys have been telling me that I have to take control, that I have to acknowledge this, that I have to figure things out. You’re the one who said I should focus on the reality of the situation with Finn. Well? This would help me.”
“I know I said that before, but what if…”
Blaine waits for Nick to finish his thought, but he doesn’t. “What if what?”
“I’m just, I, if there was a possibility –“ Nick cuts off again.
“A possibility of what?”
If Blaine didn’t know better, he’d think he hears Nick swear under his breath. As it is, he almost doesn’t hear when Nick says, “This is why you should’ve called Wes. I’m not ready to be out on my own yet.”
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” Blaine replies.
“Just. There’s a –“ He halts again. “Nevermind.”
Blaine hesitates before speaking again. It feels like he’s missing something, but Nick is being too cryptic for Blaine to figure it out. “So you’ll help me?”
“Okay, fine,” Nick says, drawing out the words. “I guess I will. There are a few sites I was trying to get my mom to use when everything first happened, mostly support and informational type stuff. I’ll send you the links. That should help you get started, if it’s really want you want to do.”
“Thank you, Nick! I think it’ll help to talk to people like me.”
There’s another voice in the background, and then Nick says, “Allison’s back, so I need to go. Listen, though; do me a favor?"
“What?” Blaine asks.
“Don’t commit to anything right now.”
Blaine has no idea what that even means. “Don’t what?”
“On the sites, if you chat with anyone, don’t commit to anything.”
If possible, Blaine is even more confused. “Nick, I’m not getting married tomorrow. I just want to maybe talk to other people like myself in the two percent. What it’s like, how to manage telling other people, that kind of thing.”
Nick clears his throat. “I know. But if, if you.” He halts again. “… nevermind.”
“You’re being weird,” Blaine tells him.
“I know.” That’s all he says. Blaine isn’t stupid. There’s something else going on. Maybe Nick’s mother tried meeting someone, and he doesn’t want to talk about it? Or maybe she got some bad advice, and Nick is trying to keep it from happening to Blaine?
What he does know is that if Nick isn’t sharing whatever this is, he has a good reason, which is why Blaine doesn’t continue to question. He merely asks, “You’ll share when you can?”
“God, I hope so,” Nick replies.
* * * * * * * * *
Blaine receives an email later the next day from Nick with half a dozen websites focusing on two percenters. Unfortunately, Blaine isn’t able to do anything with them for several days. He has family, including his crazy grandparents on his father’s side and his boring grandparents on his mother’s side, coming into town. Consequently he never has more than ten minutes on his own. Aunts and uncles, family friends, cousins he barely knows, and his Great-Uncle Philip who tries to convince Blaine that he’s “hip like the babies” because he has “loads of friends on the Facebook.” He’s kind of funny at first but soon goes from a bit strange to full out disturbing.
Blaine, 9:17am: Would your parents be interested in another son? I think I can prove my parents are providing an unstable and unsafe environment.
Kurt, 9:19am: What happened?
Blaine, 9:20am: My 74-year-old great-uncle was singing Destiny’s Child at breakfast.
Kurt, 9:20am: That sounds adorable, actually. Did you get video?
Blaine, 9:22am: I was in too much shock. He was singing Bootylicious.
Blaine, 9:22am: And there was krumping.
Blaine, 9:22am: He’s 74 and used to work on Wall Street. How does he know what krumping is?
Kurt, 9:23am: OMG Blaine!! Follow him around and record everything! I need a mental image – is he like an older version of you? Does he have a bowtie and gelled hair? Does he wear suspenders? Oh God, I can’t breathe.
Kurt, 9:24am: DID HE JUMP ON THE FURNITURE??? That’s you in 60 years!!
Blaine, 9:25am: Ha ha ha, very funny. I have to wash my eyes out. Is that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind thing real? Can I have this erased from my memory?
Kurt, 9:26am: Why is my family so boring? The most exciting thing over here is Finn passed out on the couch after eating an entire pumpkin pie.
Blaine, 9:42am: He’s moved on to Rhianna. My 12-year-old cousin has joined in to sing S&M. Is it possible I hit my head and am hallucinating?
Kurt, 9:44am: For the love of God – Where. Is. The. Video????
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, just after New Year’s, after all of his family has gone home and Great-Uncle Philip has promised to see a doctor, Blaine finds himself with an entire day alone. He unearths the email Nick sent with links to two percenter websites. The first one or two are good but more educational rather than interactive. Blaine does discover some good info, like the fact that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are openly in the 2% but happy with each other. (Jennifer’s soulmate is their daughter, Violet, and Ben’s soulmate is, not surprisingly, Matt Damon.)
He starts to read stories, though, that shake his confidence. Stories of people who can’t let go of the idea of a romantic soulmate and refuse to acknowledge that the 2% exists. There are those like Nick’s mother who thought they were with the love of their life only to be told that they weren’t – and may never have one. Blaine reads one account of a man in Oregon whose wife left him after it turned out that his soulmate was his stepdaughter, his wife’s ten-year-old daughter. The wife accused him of pedophilia, divorced him, and now refuses to let her ex-husband see her daughter. For every uplifting story about a two percenter who finds happiness, there’s another story that’s conversely depressing and unhappy.
Though he starts with the first couple of sites Nick sent him, Blaine gets distracted pretty quickly. One website leads to another and another until finally he somehow ends up on a Dissenter site. He reads about a movement within the Dissenter faction to use two percenters as a reason why Finders should be outlawed. Suicide rates are apparently much higher among people in the 2%, especially those without an obvious family link to each other.
The Dissenter website, though, goes even further. Apparently there are numerous people who lie about their soulmate’s identity, an occurrence particularly common with celebrities, politicians, and the very wealthy. There are instances where people undergo procedures only to see their soulmate involved in illegal, immoral, and/or dangerous behavior. Cases of individuals who guilt, manipulate, and intimidate their soulmates into staying in abusive relationships. Situations where people see absolutely nothing during procedures, have no out-of-body experience, which could as easily mean a deceased soulmate as it does a soulmate not yet born.
No wonder there are people out there who are opposed to Finders.
Blaine realizes he’s lucky; this thing with Finn might not be ideal, but it could be so much worse. He never stopped to fully consider the negative scenarios or complications. The fact that there are so many other possibilities, so many ways in which things could go bad – it unnerves Blaine. How many people out there are worse off because of Finders and soulmate procedures?
He makes himself stop reading the Dissenter information and go back to the next site on Nick’s list, a 2% chat room. Blaine knows there are 2% dating sites, but this isn’t like that. It’s more of a meeting place and discussion group. There are rooms and threads on how to handle 2% prejudice, whether or not to be open about one’s 2% status, and yes, how to handle dating in a romantic soulmate-centric world.
It’s perfect.
He’s signed up in less than five minutes and starts searching. Blaine spends fifteen minutes observing a conversation among about a dozen people; they’re helping a woman in Canada who’s worried about how to tell her boss that they’re soulmates. The advice the others give her is good and makes Blaine feel better about how he’s handling things with Finn. (“Develop a rapport first.” “Make sure she knows you’re not interested in anything romantic.” “Offer proof based on what you saw, if you can.”) For the first time, Blaine honestly starts to believe things will be okay with Finn.
An hour later, Blaine stumbles upon a section of the site devoted to “connecting with other two percenters in your area.” He has to make his own profile public so others can see his location, but afterward he can search through others’ profiles to find people in his area. He narrows his search to people within two hours of Westerville and is surprised when close to 100 profiles pop up. Blaine sorts through them and finds some he knows can’t be real. In fact, he’s pretty sure at least five are ads for porn sites.
Most look legitimate, though, and he gravitates toward anyone who might be around his age. The one that stands out is a guy just a few years older than himself. Blaine clicks on his profile and sees that he lives in Columbus. He hesitates before messaging him but decides he doesn’t really have anything to lose. At worst the guy says no to talking, and at best Blaine gains a new friend.
Hi! I found your profile, and it appears we have some
things in common. I’m Blaine Anderson, a high school
student at Dalton Academy in Westerville. Like you, I’m
a gay two percenter. If you’d like to chat or even get
together for coffee (in a public place, of course), I’d like
to hear from you. If not, no hard feelings. Hope to hear
from you soon, Jeremiah. Have a great day!
* * * * * * * * *
Blaine is thrilled when Jeremiah responds, and they immediately hit it off. The two have so much in common, from being in the 2% to growing up gay in Ohio to loving cardigan pullovers. Jeremiah immediately understands about Finn, about Blaine’s fears, and it’s so nice to talk with someone removed who doesn’t know anyone involved in the situation.
Three days later, Blaine’s back at Dalton and trying not to fall asleep during the first Warbler practice of the semester. He’d stayed up late the night before chatting with Jeremiah, and now he can barely keep his eyes open. Even when Wes announces they’re going to try one of the song suggestions from last semester – Blaine’s own nominee Bills, Bills, Bills – to see how well it would work for Regionals.
He’s so out of it that he doesn’t realize Wes has ended practice until Kurt is waving a hand in front of his face. “Blaine? Blaine are you with us?” Kurt questions.
“Yeah, sorry. Just tired.” Blaine gathers his sheet music and stands up.
“I can see that. You look like a zombie, except without the nasty dead skin hanging off,” Kurt answers.
Blaine turns and suddenly realizes that Wes, David, and Nick are all watching him. Or perhaps Kurt. Maybe both? “Well, I’ll try not to bite you,” he says distractedly.
“Oh! Right, um, no biting, that’s, okay, that’s good.” Kurt stammers. Blaine looks over at him and notices his face is slightly red.
“Are you okay? I mean are you feeling well?”
Kurt nods vigorously. “Yes, feeling fine. I just remembered, though, with the, um, the zombie talk that Finn’s football game is a week from tomorrow. Were you really interested in going? It’s okay if you don’t want to, of course.”
Blaine starts to say that yes, he’d love to go and what does football have to do with zombies, but he’s drowned out as Jeff comes running. And shouting. “Kurt! Kurt! We have to go now, or we’re going to be late! We can grab dinner on the way.” He wraps his arm around Kurt’s waist and starts tugging him toward the door. “Now,” he whines. Kurt just laughs in response as he’s manhandled across the room.
“What are you guys late for?” Blaine asks.
Jeff, to Blaine’s surprise, glares at him. “It’s trivia night at the Westerville Public Library, and Kurt and I are going to annihilate everyone there. Even stupid Charlie who wins even though he cheats.” Jeff lets go of Kurt’s waist and grabs his hand instead. “Goodbye, Blaine.”
“Bye! See you tomorrow!” Kurt calls as he’s pulled out the door.
Blaine shakes his head and walks over to where Nick, David, and Wes are huddled, whispering. He overhears Wes mutter, “… until we know more. We don’t want to get his hopes up.”
“Get whose hopes up? About what?” Blaine jumps in.
David startles and turns toward Blaine. “No one. Or, I mean, Jeff. Nick’s worried that, uh, Jeff’s getting his hopes up with the trivia night.”
Blaine looks at his three friends suspiciously but doesn’t pry. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. And speaking of Jeff, why was he giving me the evil eye a minute ago?”
“Oh that,” Nick says, “Kurt told him about your soulmate conversation over the break, and I think Jeff’s not happy with you for keeping Finn a secret.”
“What? Why? Did you tell him that I don’t want Kurt to have to keep it from Finn?”
Nick nods. “I did. He still wasn’t happy.” He smiles a little. “Jeff’s become very protective of Kurt. “
Blaine rolls his eyes fondly. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
* * * * * * * * *
Between school, homework, Warbler practice, fitting in time to see Kurt now that he’s commuting from home, and chatting with Jeremiah, Blaine’s next week flies by. Jeremiah invites him for coffee that Friday, but Blaine already has plans to go to Finn’s game. They decide to meet Sunday afternoon instead.
The football game is one of the best high school games Blaine has ever seen, and that doesn’t even include the New Directions performance at halftime. He’s surprised to see Rachel, Tina, Mercedes, and Lauren on the field as football players, but given the conversation they had at the Lima Bean a couple of days ago, he’s really not. Especially when he takes into consideration that Rachel might be a little bit crazy.
After the game is over, Kurt and his family wait for Finn to clean up and change in the locker room. Blaine is glad for the opportunity to wait with them. He hasn’t seen Finn since before Christmas, and last time they’d talked the conversation had gone pretty well.
Finn walks up with a huge smile on his face that Blaine can’t help but return. “Mom! We won! Awesome, right?” He leans down to wrap up Carole in a massive hug. Blaine watches as Carole, Burt, and Kurt congratulate and praise Finn and the team.
Several of the New Directions members come over to say hello to Kurt, and he in turn commends them all on their performance and playing on the field. Tina gets an extra-long hug from Kurt, and Blaine hears him whisper, “I was so scared when you didn’t get up. Don’t do that again, okay?”
Two moments stand out as they’re all gathered there. The first is when Finn fist-bumps Blaine and says, “Thanks for coming to cheer us on, man! Next time you come over we should play Madden or something since you like football.” Blaine accepts quickly and notices Kurt watching them with a slight smile on his face.
The other moment is when three large guys, possibly football players themselves, pass by. They aren’t stupid enough to say anything to Kurt in front of parents, but they openly glare at him. Burt is talking with Carole and Mercedes’ parents, so he doesn’t see it. Surprisingly, though, Finn does. He steps in front of Kurt to shield him, puts his arm around Kurt’s shoulder, and glares back at the three guys. Puck, Sam, Lauren, Tina, Mike, Santana, and Brittany all step in closer as well. The guys are visibly surprised to see such a show of support and quicken their steps.
Finn keeps his arm around Kurt, even after the guys move on. Kurt’s smile is brilliant. “C’mon guys. Burt said if we won we could have everybody over for pizza!” A cheer goes up around the New Directions teammates, and people start heading to their cars.
Kurt looks over at Blaine and asks, “Can you join us?”
“Sure he can,” Puck interrupts, slinging an arm over Blaine’s shoulder. “Let’s go, Gargler.” Blaine nods at Kurt and allows himself to be lead to the parking lot. He’s starting to feel accepted by Kurt’s friends, and while it’s a different type of acceptance than what he’s used to with the Warblers and Dalton guys, it’s no less appreciated or gratifying.
* * * * * * * * *
The following Sunday afternoon, Blaine sits in a Columbus coffeehouse, waiting for Jeremiah. They’re meeting for the first time, and Blaine is nervous for some reason. He knows there’s nothing romantic about the meeting. Jeremiah made that clear when they decided to meet. This is merely two people with something in common getting together to talk, to commiserate. As friends and nothing more.
Blaine can’t help but think about how great it could be, though, if the two of them hit it off as something more than friends. They’re both two percenters so they understand what it’s like. They’re both gay. They both live in the Columbus area. And it would be completely wonderful to have a romantic option that isn’t a straight, platonic soulmate or his gorgeous, witty stepbrother who has a soulmate of his own out there somewhere.
He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he hears his name. “Blaine?” He looks up to see a guy standing over him at the table.
“Jeremiah?”
“Yeah, hey. Nice to finally meet you.”
“You too! Did you get something to drink yet?” Blaine points to his own drink. “I can go grab you something, if you’d like.”
Jeremiah smiles and shakes his head. “I’ve got it, thanks. Just wanted to take my coat off and make sure this was you before I ordered.” He drapes his coat over the empty chair at the two-top table and starts walking over to the counter. “Be right back.”
Blaine takes a moment to look him over. Jeremiah is certainly nice looking. Tall and thin, but not overly so; gorgeous brown hair; and pale-ish, smooth skin. He’d also noticed when Jeremiah was looking at him that he has beautiful blue eyes.
Definitely good-looking.
When Jeremiah returns, he asks Blaine about the McKinley football game. “So were you able to spend anymore time with Finn?”
“Yeah. His team won, so he was in good spirits. Several of us went over to his house and hung out afterward. He and some of his friends invited me to play video games with them, so that was fun. I mean, I sucked at playing, but it was fun.”
“Well, the more time you can spend with him the better, I guess. I can’t imagine how tough that must be. At least my soulmate is my brother. Not a hard conversation to have, really.”
Blaine chuckles. “Must be nice,” he sighs, and Jeremiah laughs.
“How’s school going?” Jeremiah asks. Blaine talks about the beginning of the semester and getting back into the swing of classes again. They talk for roughly half an hour, about school, about Jeremiah’s job at the Gap, about Finn again and ways to approach him. It’s so nice to be able to talk with someone who understands.
As they’re leaving, Jeremiah gives Blaine a pat on the arm and says they’ll talk soon. Blaine watches him as he walks to his car. Jeremiah is nice, attractive, understanding. He’s someone who gets what it’s like to be without a romantic soulmate. Blaine knows they’re just friends, but it doesn’t have to stay that way, right? Jeremiah reaches his car and turns back around to wave at Blaine, who waves back. He smiles, gets in his car, and drives away.
Yes, Blaine could make this work.
Comments
Wow this story is so amazing XD
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it. :) You're amazing for taking the time to review!!!
Just e-mailed you a massive review/sales pitch. So that would be the place to go look :-)
Yay!! I love that you wrote me again! Headed over to check my email now...
I love this so much. Don't be surprised if you get a review from me for every chapter that says that same thing. I really love that, apart from focusing on the romantic relationships and soulmates, you also take the time to mention and portray friendship and sibling relationships and how the most important person in your world could be someone you don't want to get married to. The whole "2%" thing reminds me an awful lot about how there is only one percent of people in the world who identify with the asexual orientation, and how, although we don't experience sexual attraction, we do value other types of relationships whether they are romantic or not. Did you happen to get any inspiration from that for this story?
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope I can continue to earn your praise. :)The inspiration for the 2% comes from two things, both of which you've touched on. 1. Yes, part of it was written with asexual orientation in mind. I have a dear friend who identifies as asexual, and he often complains that most soulmate-type fanfiction - hell, even most stories in general - overlook anything outside stereotypical romantic connections. (Not that people who are asexual can't still have romantic relationships, of course.) 2. I'm heterosexual, have had several romantic relationships (including an engagement), and yet if soulmates do exist, I'm pretty sure mine would be my sister. We've shared a special connection since she was born that's unlike anything I have with anyone else. The most important relationships in my life have tended to be familial or platonic, and I wanted to reflect that a little bit. (Hopefully without taking too much away from the rest of the story.)I appreciate the question, the review, and the fact that you're following along with the story. Again, thank you!!