Nailed Shut

Chapter 9

”So… You have a few books about architecture.” Kurt says. ”Do you want to become an architect?”

“If I can’t live off of music, yes.” Blaine smiles in return. “What did you want to be?”

“Fashion designer.” Kurt looks thoughtfully at the ceiling.

“Ah.” Blaine smiles. Kurt’s profile is astoundingly beautiful… “Maybe you could draw something for me sometime?”

“Sure.” Kurt smiles back at him. 

The next day (the day of the Warblers’ first Saturday-rehearsal) Blaine walks through the empty hallways with Kurt beside him. Wes had run around the dorm slamming pots and pans together to wake everybody up horribly early that morning. Blaine yawns loudly. “You can just sit on the stool beside the doors to the room while Wes holds his so-called meeting. That way, when we rehearse it’ll be like we’re performing just for you.” He smiles goofily at Kurt and adjusts his glasses on his nose. He didn’t bother with contacts and hair gel today. When they enter Dalton’s choir room everyone is wearing their regular clothes instead of their uniforms, except for Wes of course. Blaine is glad he isn’t the only one wearing flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt. Blaine gestures subtly to the stool by the door and Kurt sits down. Blaine seats himself next to Jeff on one of the couches in the room.

Wes’ meeting is pretty boring, so Kurt zones out and thinks about other things. After a while he snaps back to reality though, when he notices that the otherwise uniform-clad boys arrange themselves for their rehearsal. Blaine is at the front, directing a half-smile in Kurt’s direction. Kurt feels his cheeks heat. Then the boys start singing and dancing, and Kurt is completely mesmerized.

Blaine stares right at him the whole song, except for when he does a silly spin. Kurt would be happy to just drown in those eyes, that he is convinced are made of liquid gold. The Warblers end their song with their heads bowed and Kurt is distracted by a curl falling onto Blaine’s forehead. Wes breaks the boys’ formation to point out mistakes made by some members. Kurt realizes that Blaine has looked up and is smiling at him. He applauds and Blaine winks at him. Wow, I should not be feeling like this…

The boys do a few more songs. Blaine stares at Kurt during their whole performance and Kurt applauds at the end of every single song. When they’re done Wes comments on a few more things that they need to work on for the next rehearsal and tells Blaine “You were a lot less distant today, Blaine. Good job.”. All the boys walk out of the room in small groups. Blaine hurries over to Kurt and they head for Blaine’s room.

“You guys were great.” Kurt says as they walk down the dorm-room hallway.

“Thanks.” Blaine says and lets Kurt into the room. “It was a lot of fun to rehearse with an audience.”

“I’m impressed that you sang all the solos.” Kurt sits down on the bed.

“Yeah, well… I guess they like my voice.” Blaine grins and flops down onto his bed, spreading his arms out like a scarecrow.

“You- I mean, it was beautiful. I love the eight-part harmonies.” You should try thinking before you talk, Kurt! Guh.

“Thank you.” Blaine grins at the ceiling. 

On Sunday morning the boys get up early, and Kurt sits down at the desk while Blaine gets ready.

When Blaine comes out of the bathroom he walks over to look what Kurt is doing. He has obviously been practicing being solid, by picking up a pencil and drawing on the open sketchbook on top of the desk.

“That’s beautiful.” Blaine says, looking at the paper over Kurt’s shoulder.

“It’s a stick-figure Blaine.” Kurt says, turning in the chair to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. But the lines aren’t squiggly and done with little pressure. You’ve been practicing.”

“Yeah, well... There isn’t much to do while you are in class, except reading. And I need to practice on being solid.” Kurt drops the pencil and stands. “You ready to go?”

“After you.” Blaine says and opens the door, Kurt once again raising an eyebrow at him. 

Blaine leads Kurt into Schiller Park in Columbus. They sit down on a bench beside a statue of a woman with an umbrella. No one is close by, so Blaine decides they should take a few pictures. “Picture time!” he announces happily and takes his phone out of his pocket.

“Let’s hope it works today too.” Kurt sighs and moves closer to Blaine on the bench. Okay, chill Blaine! You’ve been closer. Holy hell! We have to look like a couple!

“Blaine?” Kurt snaps his fingers in front of Blaine’s face and Blaine snaps back to reality.

“Right! Let’s take one here and one with the statue in the background.”

Blaine lifts the phone and smiles at it, and then he feels Kurt’s hand on his shoulder and something soft pressing against his cheek. He almost drops the phone. Blaine leans away from Kurt to look at him.

“We have to look like a couple, right?” Kurt says, and it sounds a lot more confident than he looks with a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Right. Okay. Again. Concentrate on being solid.”

When Kurt puts his hand back on Blaine’s shoulder, he can feel the warmth through his coat and cardigan, seeping into his skin. But when Kurt once again presses his cheek lightly to Blaine’s, Blaine has to hold back a gasp. When he touched Kurt’s face back before the funeral, the warm tingles in his fingers had been pleasant. But this is almost painful in its intensity. His cheek feels like he is leaning it against warm metal, the skin prickling with what feels like small needles of warmth. Blaine takes a deep breath. The cold December air bites the skin of his other cheek, and he decides that Kurt’s warmth isn’t uncomfortable after all.

He must have zoned out again, because Kurt pulls away. “Are you okay?”

Now that Kurt’s warmth is gone, he wants nothing more than to have it back. “You don’t feel it?” Blaine asks, shaking his head slightly. Kurt gives him a confused look. “When you do that, it feels like I’m leaning my cheek against a metal door that’s been in direct sunlight a whole day in the middle of July.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “I- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s infinitely better than the cold air. But you don’t feel it?”

“No…” Kurt looks thoughtfully at Blaine’s cheek, and Blaine blushes. “It’s just warm.”

“My whole face is tingling.” Blaine says very quietly, raising the phone once again. Blaine briefly wonders how it would feel to be chest to chest with Kurt, but snaps out of his inappropriate thoughts when Kurt’s cheek is back against his own.

He feels Kurt smile against his cheek; the only thing needed for him to smile too. So he takes a picture, the flash blinding him for a second.

They look at the picture and Kurt chuckles. “Well, we look happy.”

We look in love, Blaine thinks. But of course he doesn’t say that. “We look like a couple.” he says instead.

“Mission accomplished.” Kurt chirps and gets up to stand next to the statue.

Blaine gets up as well, standing beside Kurt and hoping he’ll press their cheeks together again. This time though, Kurt puts an arm around Blaine’s waist, resting his hand on Blaine’s hip. Blaine struggles to breathe properly. He can feel the warmth of Kurt’s hand soak through his clothes and into his skin, creeping up toward his ribcage and across his stomach. Then Kurt presses his cheek against Blaine’s air-bitten one and Blaine sighs softly. Blaine lifts the phone and just as he is about to snap another picture he feels Kurt turn his head and nuzzle his nose against Blaine’s temple. Blaine presses the button in pure shock, his cheeks flaming red.

“Lemme see!” Kurt chirps and pulls away. “You look so embarrassed!” he chuckles. “I’m great at this.”

“I wasn’t expecting that.” Blaine mumbles and puts the phone back in his pocket.

“You should eat something.” Kurt states and starts walking out of the park. 

The next day after Warblers practice Wes snatches the phone from Blaine and states “He’s handsome.”.  

“Handsome?! He’s gorgeous!” Trent exclaims, gesturing to the phone with both hands.

“He’s so pretty it makes me want to cry!” Jeff sighs and leans his head against Wes’ shoulder. Nick – who is sitting beside him on the couch – elbows him lightly in the ribs. “But nowhere near you.” Jeff mumbles and pats the top of Nick’s head, making the latter roll his eyes. 

The Warblers snatch Blaine’s phone from each other until everybody has seen the picture at least three times. David hands the phone back to Blaine. “We’re all happy for you.” he says, the rest of the group nodding eagerly.

“Thank you guys. But actually, there’s more.” Blaine flips to the picture of him and Kurt in front if the statue, and hands the phone to Jeff who is sitting in the middle of the bunch of blazer-clad boys.

 There is a collective “aaawww” from the boys and Jeff squeaks. “You two are adorable! You look so in love!”

“Wait…” Thad begins, leaning over the back of the couch to get a closer look at the picture. “Why isn’t he wearing a jacket?”

“Hah! Well…” Blaine laughs nervously. How are you going to explain this?! “He is a fashion-freak and his new coat was at the drycleaner’s so he had to wear one that didn’t match the rest of his outfit. So he took it off for the pictures, since I told him I’d show them to my friends.” Well, they’re never going to believe that, you idiot!

“Ooo! Smart move. I’d have done the same.” Trent states, lifting his chin a bit higher into the air and brushing off the front of his blazer.  A few of the boys nod approvingly and the rest roll their eyes.

“I can’t wait to meet him!” Jeff says excitedly, clutching Blaine’s phone to his chest.

“Yeah, me too.” Wes says, earning a few odd glances from his friends. “I need to inspect him to see if he’s good enough for you.”

“That’s a bit rude, Wesley.” Nick says.

“You know I have a routine, Nicholas.” Wes snaps back.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I promised I’d call him tonight. Later, guys.” Blaine says before wrestling the phone from Jeff and leaving the room. 

When Kurt and Blaine are walking back to Blaine’s room after lunch the next Monday Kurt suddenly stops in the middle of their conversation about their favorite fruits.

“Kurt?” Blaine asks, stopping as well.

“I want to talk to my mother.” he says, staring with unfocused eyes past Blaine.

“What?” Blaine takes a step closer.

“Please?” Kurt turns his head slowly to meet Blaine’s eyes. “Can we go to my house and talk to her?”

“But you can’t see her?”

“I thought…” Kurt blushes, twisting his hands together. “Maybe you could… Um… Translate?”

“Oh… Oh! Yeah, sure!” Blaine grins at Kurt, waving his hand so he will continue walking with him toward the dorms. “When do you want to go?”

“Could we go right now? It’s Monday, so you don’t have any more classes today. Both dad and Carole are at work and Finn is at school.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll just get my coat and then we can go.

 “Nobody’s home.” Kurt states when Blaine parks his car on the curb outside the house.

“How are we going to get in? And do you think she is even in there?”

“Dad probably has the key in the same place that he always did when I was alive. And I doubt she’ll follow him to work every day.” Kurt says and steps out of the car, through the door.

Blaine hasn’t seen him do that before, so he is stunned still in his seat. He snaps back to reality when Kurt raps his knuckles on the driver side window. He steps out of the car and apologizes to Kurt. They walk up to the house, and Kurt points to the lamp on the wall beside the door. Blaine reaches for it, but he’s too short even when he stands on the tips of his toes. Kurt pokes him in the ribs. “I’ll do it. I am taller than you.”

“Am not!” Blaine pouts as Kurt gets the key down from the lamp.

He hands it to Blaine who sticks it in the lock. “Are you ready?” Kurt just nods, so Blaine opens the door and walks in. He pockets the key and takes his shoes an coat off before walking into the living room, Kurt right behind him. “Anette? Are you here?” Blaine calls out and looks around.

“Hello boys!” Anette chirps from behind them.

Blaine turns on his heel and Kurt looks at him in confusion for a second before realizing what’s happening. He turns around too, looking around even though his mother is right in front of him.

“Hello. We came to talk to you.” Blaine tells the beautiful woman. “Kurt wants me to translate for him.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” she replies, suddenly disappearing. “Come sit.”

Blaine turns around again, to find Kurt’s mother sitting on the sofa. “Come on, Kurt.” he says and sits down in an armchair, pointing for Kurt to sit on the couch next to his mother.

“Hi mom.” Kurt says, widening his eyes at Blaine, hoping he’ll get the hint and enlighten him on where his mother is sitting.

“Hi mom.” Blaine repeats, twitching his hand in what must be Anette Hummel’s direction.

“She can hear me, Blaine.” Kurt points out, turning his head toward where Blaine is pointing.

Blaine blushes furiously. “Sorry. I’ll pretend I’m not here and just repeat what you say.” he says, looking to Kurt’s right. “Hi honey.” he says then, avoiding eye contact with Kurt and the blush spreading all the way down his neck.

Kurt closes his eyes and imagines his mother sitting beside him on the sofa. “Why did you come to my funeral?”

“How could I not? I’ve been here since I died. I’ve watched you grow from a cute little boy to a strong young man. I’ve been there for you all along, so how could I not be with you then?” Blaine says, repeating Anette’s words. “Though watching my own child’s body being lowered into the ground is the worst thing I have experienced in both my life and my afterlife.”

“But you saw me there, didn’t you?”

“I did. It made it bearable. And I saw you had support with you. You weren’t alone.”

Kurt decides to watch Blaine and opens his eyes. The curly-headed boy is smiling softly at the space where Anette’s spirit is. “How did you meet this young man?”

“When I woke up like this I was at Dalton, Blaine’s school. I walked around for a week, trying to find someone who could hear or see me. And finally someone did.” Kurt smiles at Blaine, who still isn’t meeting his eyes.

Kurt sees Blaine’s body twitch, before he blushes again. “I won’t tell him that!” Blaine half whispers, half whines.

“Tell me what?” Kurt questions, squinting his eyes at Blaine.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head slightly and then looks back to the space beside Kurt. ”You look just like you did whenever Burt tried to convince you to go camping.” He giggles.

“Mom!” Kurt whines, but smiles, knowing she had been there to see that. “Blaine.” Kurt uses his supposed-to-be most threatening voice. “Tell me.”

“Nope.” Blaine chirps. “You are so stubborn, Kurt.”

“Is that you or my mom talking?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare saying something like that to you.” Blaine lets out a huff of laughter.

“Dad always said I got my stubbornness from you, mom.”

“Perhaps. But he can be plenty stubborn as well. The stubbornness-contests you two would have over food and your outfits.” Blaine giggles again. “And oh, how I’ve loved your outfits, darling.”

“Maybe this was a bad idea…” Kurt mumbles too himself.

“I’m sorry for embarrassing you, honey.” Blaine says, moving his eyes from Anette to Kurt. “What did you boys come to talk to me about?”

“We told dad that I’m here.” Kurt rubs his right thumb against his right palm as he continues. “So I wanted to ask you if… Should we tell him that you’re here too?” Kurt looks up from his knees to find Blaine looking at him. That’s all he needs to continue. “He’d be so happy.” Blaine’s eyes are watering over, and Kurt can feel his own do the same.

“I’m sure he would.” Blaine croaks, before clearing his throat to continue repeating Anette’s words. “But he has struggled getting over me for years and we can never have what we once did. And from what I’ve seen of Carole and Finn, they are amazing people. Your father loves them, he’s happy now. Telling your father that I’m here wouldn’t make anything better.”

“But you talked to us.” Kurt gestures to himself and Blaine, the latter starting to grin.

Blaine is quiet for a while. “Oh! Sorry. Zoned out.” Blaine continues to grin at Kurt. “I talked to you because you and I, Kurt, we can have a relationship. If that is something you want. It was selfish of me to let you know I’m here, I should have waited until you looked for me or until you could see me yourself.”

“No mom, I’m so very glad you did.” Kurt turns to his right, folding one of his legs under himself. “Dad has said many times that sometimes it feels like you’re with us. And you were! I’ve wished and dreamed that one day I’d be able to see or talk to you again. And now I can.”

Blaine watches as Kurt closes his eyes, folding his hands on his lap. And then Kurt starts to sing, leaving Blaine in mild shock.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…” Kurt sings, eyes still closed as Anette leans toward him.

Wow… Blaine adjusts his position in the armchair, staring at Kurt as he opens his watery eyes.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free…” Anette lifts her hand toward Kurt, stilling it a fraction of space from his face and holding it there as if she was caressing his cheek.

Kurt’s voice is absolutely beautiful. Just like his hair. And his skin. And his lips. And those eyes! The corner of Blaine’s mouth moves into the slightest of smiles.

“Blackbird fly. Blackbird fly. Into the light of the dark black night.” Kurt’s tears are falling freely now, and so are Anette’s.

He’s gorgeous even when he cries. There’s something tragically beautiful about it… Those eyes look even more blue like this. Blaine misses the last part of the song, as he almost drowns in Kurt’s ocean eyes. I’m in love with Kurt.