Nailed Shut

Chapter 5

”Hi Aimee!” Blaine squeaks, his voice the highest Kurt has yet to hear it. “How was your day, sweetheart?” Sweetheart? That is adorable!

“Nanny Annie gave me crayons today. So I drawed something for you!” Kurt smiles, he just loves kids.

“That’s so nice of you! What did you draw?”

“It’s a secret! You’ll get it when you come home. When will you come visit me?” Aimee sounds a bit sad and Kurt watches Blaine frown and bite his lip.

“You know what? I’m gonna take you out for your birthday. Would you like that?”

“Yes!” Aimee squeals. “But it’s soooooo long ‘til my birthday!”

Blaine chuckles. “It’s just two weeks, baby! And we’ll go anywhere you want!”

“Oh! Oh! Can we go to that pancake place?”

“Pancake Palace?”

“Yeah! I love when you take me there.” Wow, that’s pretty far from here…

“Then we’ll go there and have pancakes. What do you want for your birthday present?”

“My friend Sarah got a puppy and I want a puppy too!”

“Aimee, I can’t give you a puppy. Mommy and daddy wouldn’t like that very much.”

“I know…” Aimee says in an adorable defeated little-girl-voice. “I don’t know what I want…” Blaine waits a moment, probably thinking Aimee will come up with something. “I just want you to come home.”

Blaine rubs his forehead with his hand and seems to be thinking for a moment. Kurt feels like he is intruding on something private, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. Blaine’s eyes flicker to the picture of him and his sister on the wall before he says anything else. “Can I talk to Charles for a minute, Aimee?”

“I’m sorry! Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not, honey! I just want to ask him something real quick, okay?”

Aimee mumbles an “okay” and then they hear her get out of her bedroom to hand the phone to the butler. That’s what he is right?, Kurt thinks. “Sir Blaine?”

“Hi again Charles. I was just wondering if Mr. and Mrs. Anderson are working late on Thursday?” He doesn’t even call them “mom” and “dad” except when talking to Aimee?

“Oh, yes. Sir Wyland will be in a late meeting. Lady Monica is attending a dinner. Should I be expecting you here?” There is a small gasp of hope from Aimee in the background.

“Yes. I’ll be over at about five. You don’t have to set up dinner. It’s Aimee’s bedtime soon, right?”

“Yes, sir. The usual procedure?”

“Yes. Thank you Charles.”

They hear Aimee in the background saying “gimme gimme” before she comes back. “Are you coming home, Blainey?”

“Yes, baby. On Thursday. You can make a list of things you want for your birthday and give it to me then. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes!” she says as they hear the thuds of her feet when she runs to her room again. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, honey. But I’ll come visit in three days. Three days!” Blaine exaggerates the last part and Kurt giggles. Aimee doesn’t say anything, but they hear her door closing. “You ready for bed, Aimee?”

“Yes. I got my pajamas on.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“No… Wait!” The phone drops onto the covers of Aimee’s bed.

Blaine smiles at Kurt. “She forgets sometimes.”

“She seems to miss you a lot.”

“Yeah... I try to go visit when our parents aren’t home, sometimes.”

“She’s cute.” Kurt smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Blaine’s parents disapprove of him so much that he only goes home when they’re not there?

“Do you want to come with me?”

“What? No. You should spend some time alone with her. I can spend Thursday evening in the library, reading or something.”

“Okay, sure. What about her birthday then?”

“Blaine. We met a couple of days ago. You don’t have to take me everywhere. I was alone for a week before you even saw me.”

“I know. I just…” Blaine frowns again. “That week, you didn’t choose to be alone.”

“And you figured that since you’re the only one who can see me, you need to hang out with me so I won’t feel alone anymore, right?”

“Something like that…” Blaine mumbles. “Please come! You said you love kids and I assure you she is the cutest you will ever see.” A wide smile spreads across his face.

“Blainey?” Aimee’s voice comes from the phone again.

“Yes? Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes. Are you playing with your friends?” Kurt smiles so hard that he thinks his face might split in half.

“No… You have my undivided attention. Want me to sing for you ‘til you fall asleep?”

“YES!” she almost shouts in response. They hear her climb into bed and under the covers. “Ready.” she squeaks.

“Good. Goodnight, honey. I love you.”

“’Night… I love you too, Blainey.”

Blaine smiles softly at the phone and thinks for a moment before he starts to sing. Kurt is amazed at Blaine’s voice. It’s not as loud and clear as it had been when he was with the other singing boys, but rather soft and almost a whisper. Kurt just looks on in amazement as Blaine sings lullabies to Aimee through the phone while looking at the picture of them by the bed.

It takes Blaine four songs before they hear her soft snoring on the other end. Blaine chuckles softly and looks up at Kurt who is smiling so much that Blaine can barely see his eyes. There is noise on the other end and after a few moments they hear a door shut and footsteps along a corridor. “Sir Blaine, Aimee is asleep.”

“Thank you, Charles. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Thursday, Sir Blaine. Goodbye.”

Blaine hangs up the phone and puts it in his pocket. “Told you.” he smirks at Kurt.

“That was adorable, yes. Are you playing with your friends, Blainey?” Kurt teases.

“Hey! She’s the only one who gets to call me that!” Blaine says, faking offense. “So… What do you feel like doing tonight?”

“Well to start with you’re going to eat dinner, before you forget. And after that I would like you to distract me from tomorrow by telling me all the cute stories you have about you and your sister.”

“I can do that.” Blaine grins and stands. “Come with me?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

Blaine gets some pasta and meatballs, and sits down with Kurt opposite to him at a table in a corner of the dining hall. Blaine doesn’t say anything to him, and Kurt understands perfectly why. Since nobody else can see him, everybody would wonder who Blaine was talking to. Kurt however, decides to tell Blaine about his and his father’s history with Kurt’s stepmother Carole and stepbrother Finn. Since nobody can hear him anyway. Blaine listens intently while eating his dinner as fast as he can. He stops and smiles when Kurt tells the story of Burt and Carole’s wedding. “That’s so sweet.” he whispers, but Kurt holds his index finger to his lips to signal for Blaine to be quiet.

Blaine sits with his back toward the entrance to the dining hall so he doesn’t see David and Wes approach the table. Kurt does, and he points behind Blaine who turns around to look just as they arrive.

“Hey! What are you sitting here staring at the wall for?” Wes asks and sits down beside him.

Kurt and Blaine watch in slight panic how David moves around the table, and Kurt looks just as terrified as Blaine feels. David sits down in the chair where Kurt is sitting. What follows is the strangest thing Blaine has ever seen. He sees David, sitting there, as he is. But he also sees Kurt sitting there, seemingly inside David. David is leaner so Blaine can see Kurt’s shoulders stick out of David’s arms. David shivers, but starts digging into his dinner. “Gosh it’s cold in here!”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Wes exclaims. “Don’t tell me you have the Halloween spookies again? Is it because it’s proper Halloween today?”

Blaine watches as Kurt stands. “I’ll wait in your room. Be with your friends.” he whispers, as if he thinks they might hear him if he doesn’t.

“What are you looking at?” David says, his eyebrows knitting together.

Blaine follows Kurt with his eyes as Kurt walks away from the table and out of the dining hall, Blaine having to turn around in his chair to watch him go. David and Wes try to follow his line of sight and then look at each other when they can’t find what Blaine is looking at. Blaine doesn’t notice this, however. He just stares at the door where Kurt left the room.

“Hey!” Wes snaps his fingers in front of Blaine’s face, causing the latter to whip around to look at him and David again. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. I’m perfectly fine.” Blaine says, looking into his remaining pasta.

Wes and David share a worried glance. David puts his hand on Blaine’s for a moment, making him meet his gaze. “You know you can talk to us if something is really bothering you, right?”

“I know.” Blaine tries to smile, but it probably looks really forced. “But I’m fine.”

“Okay, then!” Wes says, chewing on a meatball. “Jeff is having a get-together in his and Nick’s dorm room tomorrow night. We’re gonna watch horror movies and eat all the leftover candy from Halloween.”

“I hope you’ll have fun.” Blaine says as he rolls the lasts strands of spaghetti onto his fork.

“What? You’re gonna be there, right?” Wes accuses while Blaine chews on his last bite of dinner.

He swallows. “I’m going to a funeral tomorrow, remember? I don’t think I’m going to be in the mood.” Blaine rises out of his chair and starts clearing his dishes by the wall.

“Hey Blaine!” David calls out, and Blaine turns to look at his friends. “Good luck tomorrow, or whatever they say… Um… I’ll bring any homework over in the evening, all right?” Blaine nods and smiles a genuine smile at him before walking out of the dining hall. 

True to his word, Blaine tells Kurt a bunch of stories about things he and Aimee have done, or usually do together. Like going to the park and playground, carrying her on his shoulders when on a walk and pulling pranks on their butler Charles McAbbott III. They sit shoulder to shoulder on Blaine’s bed, leaning against the headboard.

Kurt concentrates on that shoulder while listening to Blaine’s stories, so it’ll be solid and warm against Blaine’s. But concentrating on both his shoulder and the stories is exhausting for Kurt. He passes out in the middle of a story and Blaine stops telling it when he hears Kurt’s soft snoring. He smiles and gets off the bed to get ready for bed. When he comes out of the bathroom Kurt has moved so he is lying on his side on the usually empty side of Blaine’s bed. Blaine giggles and folds his glasses on his nightstand, crawling under the covers on his side. He falls asleep in less than a minute, while listening to Kurt’s breathing.

Blaine doesn’t really have to be absent in all of his classes today, but he decides to be anyway. For Kurt. He awakes as early as he usually does, while Kurt is still asleep. He skips his contacts and hair gel, dressing in the t-shirt and sweatpants that he got while being on the swimming-team last year. Blaine walks to the administration building and fills out some paperwork for “attending a close friend’s funeral”. The receptionist gives him a sad smile and an “I’m sorry for your loss.” before he walks back to his room. Kurt is still asleep so he decides to go to the dining hall to eat breakfast and read. He brings one of his books of poetry and sits on a bench with his back to the wall. The book is open on his knees while he eats his cereal. Blaine is there early, so there are only three other boys in the room, and he isn’t familiar with any of them.

Kurt wakes up at eleven when Blaine accidentally drops his poetry book on the floor. He just finished reading it after already being awake for three hours, and was just about to put it back in the bookshelf.

“What were you reading?” Kurt asks, rubbing at his eyes with his fists.

“Poetry.” Blaine answers, putting the book back on the shelf.

“Would you read me some?” Kurt sits up, leaning against the headboard. “I’m sorry about passing out on your bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Blaine smiles as Kurt, before turning back to the bookshelf and picking out another poetry-book. He sits on the bed next to Kurt and begins to read some of his favorites.

After about an hour they go to the dining hall again, so Blaine can eat lunch before they get ready to leave for Kurt’s funeral. Luckily they don’t run into any of Blaine’s friends. Kurt doesn’t say much during lunch, except for a small rant about how his family members are going to have to put together their own outfits for the occasion. “Burt and Finn will probably be wearing suits and Carole will probably go with a simple black dress.” Blaine whispers, and that apparently calms Kurt down a bit.

Kurt leaves to sit in the library while Blaine gets ready. He puts his contacts in and smoothes his curls down with some gel, but not a lot. He puts on the simple black suit he got for Christmas last year. Luckily he hasn’t grown much, so it actually fits better now than it had done then. He checks himself in the mirror a couple of times, making sure everything looks perfect before heading into the hallway and toward the library. A few boys turn to look at him in the halls, but nobody says anything. He walks into the library to find Kurt in one of the armchairs, staring out into empty space. There are other people in the library so Blaine just walks up to the chair. Kurt notices him and stands. Blaine pretends to look for something behind the cushion of the chair since it would look odd if he just came in there to stand by a chair and then leave again.

“Do I look okay?” Kurt asks while they walk toward the car.

“Perfect.” Blaine says and smiles softly at him.

The drive is silent. Kurt just sits and looks through his window, staring at the sky. Blaine glances over from time to time, making sure he is okay. Kurt doesn’t even notice when Blaine stops to buy a flower to put on Kurt’s grave. 

They arrive at the Hummel household about five minutes before three. They get out of the car and walk up the front steps. “Are you ready?” Blaine asks before ringing the doorbell. Kurt nods and takes a shaky breath. Burt opens the door and leads Blaine into the house, Kurt following right behind.

“Did you tell your family about me and Kurt?” Blaine whispers to Burt as they walk toward the living room.

“Not yet. So I’ll just introduce you as a friend of his, okay?”

Blaine nods and when they enter the living room Burt introduces Blaine to Carole and Finn. He had been right about their clothing-choices. Finn is freakishly tall, even though he is clearly slumped in sadness. “I’ll drive us to the place.” Burt tells them after a few minutes of “pleasantries”.

Burt and Carole sit in the front and Blaine and Finn in the back, Kurt in the middle. Except only Blaine knows that. They drive for about twenty minutes before they reach a small building that could have been a church of some sort, though there is no cross.

The inside looks very much like a church would too, but there are no crosses and such inside either. The room is not that big. Simple wooden chairs are lined up in rows and there are huge windows in the back of the room. There is a thin cream-colored carpet dividing the two sides of chairs, leading up to the front where the casket is. It’s white with details in silver. From where they are standing Blaine can see the inside of the open lid. It’s lined with what looks like (also) cream-colored satin. On the right side of the coffin is a big picture of a smiling Kurt, next to a stand full of flowers in all different colors. On the left side of the coffin is a small podium with a microphone. Blaine sits next to Burt in the front row, since he doesn’t know anybody else. A man dressed in a stylish suit walks up to the podium when all people have been seated.

The suited man does his speech, talking about Kurt and his fabulousness. It’s sweet and touching, talking about celebrating life and such things. At entering, everybody got a white rose to leave on top of the casket after saying one’s goodbyes. The man finishes, and announces that it is now okay to approach the coffin and say a few last words to Kurt before the actual burial.

Kurt’s family members are the first ones to walk up to the casket. Blaine watches as Burt steps forward first, Carole and Finn staying behind him. He leans down and kisses Kurt’s forehead, whispering something no one can hear. His hand trembles as he brushes Kurt’s cheek, and then he falls to his knees. “My little boy!” he sobs, as tears start streaming down his face. He lets out a howl of sorrow, and THAT is the worst thing Blaine has ever heard in his life. The extreme sorrow and hopelessness that no one but parents who have had to bury their children could possibly understand. Blaine’s chest aches, and he realizes that he is crying now, too. He looks to his side to find Kurt sobbing into his hands and Blaine thinks for a moment that this is too much to handle. He reaches his hand out and brushes his fingertips against the back of Kurt’s hand. He hopes that it makes Kurt feel just a fraction better, as it makes himself feel absolutely confident that he did the right thing coming here. Burt starts sobbing, so Carole and Finn help him up. He leans on Finn as Carole kisses Kurt’s cheek and whispers her goodbye. Carole then sits back down with Burt by her side, crying into the shoulder of her dress. Burt doesn’t care about anyone seeing him in this state, he lost his baby boy. Carole’s cheeks are also wet with tears as she rubs her husband’s back and whispers loving words to him. Meanwhile Finn is standing alone by Kurt’s coffin, looking down at him. “I should have protected you…” he says loud enough for Blaine to hear it, but he doubts that anybody else did. He is crying silently, and he bends down to put his forehead against Kurt’s, releasing a shuddering breath. “You were the brother I always wanted.”

As his father falls to his knees Kurt squeezes his eyes shut, trapping the tears inside. He hears his father’s soul-wrecking cry and Kurt falls to his knees next to Blaine’s chair. He doesn’t approach his father, he just buries his face in his hands, sobbing. He feels Blaine’s fingertips on the back of his hand, and it calms him more than he would have thought possible.

He watches Finn stand by his body now. As Finn bends down to touch their foreheads together Kurt releases a broken sob, which almost makes him miss the sentence Finn says to his body. Almost. “YOU were the brother I always wanted.” Kurt says and Blaine glances at him briefly. 

Blaine has never seen a dead person before. He approaches the coffin, and for some reason he is kind of surprised to see Kurt’s body in the yellow cardigan. This isn’t Kurt, he thinks for a moment. This is just an empty shell. Blaine had never really thought about ghosts or souls before he met Kurt. He can no longer deny that ghosts exist, since Kurt exists. When he looks down at Kurt’s body, he can no longer deny that souls exists either. Because there is no one left in that body, Kurt isn’t there. Kurt was gorgeous when he was alive, Blaine can tell. Even putting aside the stylish clothes and the perfectly sculpted hair, he was beautiful. His skin is like… porcelain, Blaine thinks. He wonders what those ocean eyes would have looked like alive, if they were different from Kurt’s eyes. Blaine thinks it is silly to think this way, because for him, Kurt is pretty much alive. He can see him just as clearly as he can anybody else. He hesitates for a moment, but he reaches his hand out to rub the pad of his thumb across Kurt’s body’s cheekbone. It’s cold. Not freezing like the winter air and not cold like when his hand had fallen through Kurt’s hand before. It’s just… Not warm, like skin normally is.

Blaine doesn’t say a goodbye, because for him it isn’t. “Hello, Kurt.” he whispers as he gently puts the rose on the closed lower part of the coffin. Kurt walks up to him and their eyes meet for a moment before Kurt looks down at his dead body.

Kurt has only seen one dead person before. His mother, when he was a child. He doesn’t really remember it though. It’s probably something that your brain tries to forget. He hadn’t expected to see another dead body for a very long time, and certainly not his own. It’s really strange. All the previous times he had seen this body, they had been in the mirror, or simply looking down. But now, it doesn’t follow his movements, it’s just still. Kurt looks down at his ghost-body, that looks just like he remembers his body had when he was alive. His body is right there, but it’s also in that coffin. He looks back to his unmoving face, and it’s just too much. He whimpers and he feels Blaine’s fingers lace lightly with his own. He looks at his body one last time before looking at his hand, and then up at Blaine’s face. Blaine is watching Kurt’s body still. Kurt lets out another whimper and Blaine looks him in the eye before getting back in his seat, still holding onto Kurt’s fingers. 

Most of the people from Kurt’s funeral leave after saying their goodbyes. Blaine follows Kurt’s family down a small paved path to something that looks like a little clearing, surrounded by trees. The only other people to come with them are a group of teenagers, the suited man, a man with curly hair, a woman with short hair and a woman in a lavender dress.

The suited man does another speech as a few men carry Kurt’s coffin to the clearing, and put it down on a metal thing above the grave. Kurt leans closer to Blaine. “My mother is also buried here.” he whispers.

“What was her name?” Blaine whispers back and smiles faintly in Kurt’s direction.

“Anette.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

Kurt smiles at him and he smiles back before looking at the people he doesn’t recognize. A Latina girl is hugging and comforting a crying blonde. A black girl is sobbing into a short, brown-haired girl’s shoulder. An Asian boy is silently crying, clasping his girlfriend’s hand tight. Another blonde girl is gripping the cross around her neck tightly, eyes closed and mouth a tight line. A boy in a mohawk looks wrecked, seeming to grip the shoulder of the boy in the wheelchair as to not fall apart. The man with the curly hair and the woman with short hair are standing close together crying silently, hands gripping in what must be a painful hold. The woman in the lavender dress is standing a little bit further back than the rest. Blaine looks at her a little longer than the others. She seems familiar for some reason. She is crying too, one hand flat against her cheek. She must be cold in that dress, Blaine thinks, it looks like it’s made out of a very thin fabric. She wipes at her tears and then looks directly at Blaine. Blaine looks away quickly. “Who is that woman?” he whispers to Kurt.

“What woman?” Kurt asks, but doesn’t get an answer as everybody looks up to see the coffin being lowered into the grave.

They are putting my body in the ground! This is it. I’m dead. Kurt feels horrorstruck. He grabs onto Blaine’s hand tightly, concentrating with all his mind.

They all watch silently when the coffin gets lowered down. Most wipe their tears, getting ready to get in their cars and go back to their normal lives. Kurt watches his friends from Glee club and his heart sinks. Even Noah Puckerman is crying. He knew they all liked him, but not like this. Kurt glances at the other two. He is touched that Will Shuester is there, and absolutely stunned when he realizes who is standing beside him. Sue Sylvester. He watches her until he realizes that the burial is over, that everyone is leaving. Blaine for some reason isn’t moving. Kurt glances at his family, walking toward their car. He looks back at Blaine who is still staring at something, but Kurt doesn’t understand what.

Why is she so familiar? Where do I know her from? Blaine is watching the lavender-dressed woman again. He doesn’t notice the others heading for their cars. She looks up again, straight at him. He looks down at Kurt’s grave.

“Hi. I noticed you looking at me.” Blaine looks up again to see that the woman has approached him.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.” Blaine smiles apologetically at her.

“Blaine, who are you talking to?” Kurt hisses.

“Don’t worry about it.” the woman says, smiling at Blaine. And wow…

“I thought I recognized you. What’s your name?”

“Anette Hummel. I was Kurt’s mother.”