Chapter 16:

Blaine inhaled deeply through his nose. Or rather one of his nostrils, since Kurt’s nose was pressing the other one shut. He closed his eyes and moved a hand onto the side of Kurt’s face, holding him in place. Blaine would never let him go away again. Kurt twisted his fingers further into Blaine’s hair, angling his head to the side a little. Blaine’s face felt all numb, the pleasant tingling spreading across his skin. He was pretty sure he’d get burns on his lips, but he didn’t care at all. He wondered briefly if Kurt’s tongue would be cooler-

Kurt pulled back and smiled, his cheeks an adorable shade of pink. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”  

Blaine pulled Kurt back against his lips with the hand still on his cheek, curling his fingertips around Kurt’s jaw. Kurt responded immediately, scooting closer and parting his lips. He licked Blaine’s lower lip and Blaine gasped as best as he could with their mouths against each other’s. Kurt’s tongue was just as warm as his lips, if not hotter.

It was way too much. Blaine felt his face crumble as Kurt moved his mouth to the corner of his own. A high-pitched whine left his throat before he had gathered the brain-capacity to stop it. Kurt pulled back and looked at him with worried eyes.

“Are you okay?” Kurt whispered, unconsciously making space between them. But he kept one hand on the side of Blaine’s face, absently rubbing his thumb against his temple softly.

“I- um…” Blaine bit his lip, a tear catching on his eyelashes. It escaped when he blinked, sliding down Blaine’s face slowly. “I’m so happy. But my lips and my- my face…” he trailed off, moving his eyes to somewhere around Kurt’s heart.

“Blaine, please. Tell me. Does is hurt?”

“It’s kinda… numb. And it feels like I’m going to get blisters on my lips.”

“I’m so sorry.” Kurt said barely audible, before clearing his throat and trying to sound hopeful when he continued. “It doesn’t look like you will. And maybe you’ll get used to it? Like you did with handholding. That’s not uncomfortable anymore, right?”

Blaine looked back up and blinked at him a few times with his huge, golden eyes. Kurt was surprised when Blaine started smiling bashfully. “I sure hope I’ll get used to it.” The smile turned into a grin, and Kurt blushed when he realized what it was he had implied. He chuckled a little and now he was the one to move his gaze away from Blaine’s. “Kurt?”

Kurt forced himself to lock eyes with Blaine again. The hope and fear he saw when he did made his stomach feel odd. “Yes?”

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Blaine said and took Kurt’s hand.

“Blaine…” Kurt sighed, but didn’t pull away from the curly-headed boy. “We’ve been through this. I’m dead.”

Blaine’s smile didn’t falter. “I know.” He took a hold of Kurt’s other hand as well, twining their fingers together. “We’ve been through this. I don’t care. So, will you be my dead boyfriend?”

Kurt had to laugh. Blaine really was impossible. “You are insane.”

“I’ll take that as a… yes?” Blaine smiled wider and Kurt couldn’t help doing the same.

“Fine.”

“I accept “fine” as an answer too.” Kurt’s heart swelled as Blaine leaned toward him and kissed him again.

Monday the 26th of March 2012

It took a minute before the door slowly opened, revealing Kurt's father. "Blaine?"

"Hello sir." Blaine said politely. "Do you have a moment? Kurt has something he wants you to know."

"Oh." Burt replied unsurely. "Yeah, sure. Finn's at football practice and Carole isn’t home from work yet."

He gestured for Blaine to step inside. Blaine walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, Kurt tentatively following. Burt descended into his armchair and trained his eyes on Blaine. "What did he want to say?" he asked gruffly.

Blaine looked at Kurt for a moment as the latter answered. "I was here a little while ago and saw how hard my death still is on you three. So I guess I just wanted you to know I'm okay. Better than okay, actually. I'm happy."

Blaine repeated his words to Burt, who now looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a second before looking back at Blaine. “Happy?” he questioned disbelievingly.

Blaine swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

The sound of a car pulling up in the driveway reached their ears. “I’m glad he’s happy.” Burt moved his eyes to the front door. “Carole’s home. You should go.” He stood and gestured for Blaine to move toward the door. “Thank you though, Blaine. Really.”

He stumbled a little as Burt ushered him into the hallway and held the door open for him.

“Kurt?”

Blaine turned around to see Anette behind them. He looked back at Kurt who blinked a couple of times. “I’ll just be a moment. You go wait in the car.” he said and walked up to his mother as Blaine stepped onto the front steps.

Carole was at the bottom of them and looked up when she almost walked into Blaine. “Oh! Hello there.” she said and smiled politely. “Blaine was it, right?”

“Blaine was just leaving.” Burt said hurriedly.  

 “It was nice to see you.” Blaine croaked.

“You too, dear.” Carole managed to say before Burt grunted a “Bye Blaine.” and shut the front door.

Why didn’t Burt want Blaine to see Carole and Finn? Was he afraid Blaine might tell them about Kurt? And why was he afraid of them knowing? Blaine just didn’t understand.

He didn’t look back as he walked slowly to his car, unlocking it and getting in the driver’s seat. When he was seated he put the seatbelt on and started watching the door, waiting for Kurt to come out.

“Hi.”

Blaine’s eyes moved from the front door - that hadn’t moved since he himself came out of it more than ten minutes ago - to the passenger seat where Kurt was now sitting. “How did you get there?” he said a bit more high-pitched than he’d intended.

“I teleported!” Kurt chirped happily, like it was obvious.

“What?” Blaine’s voice rose even higher and he had to clear his throat to prevent it from happening yet again.

“Mom asked me why I came here in the car with you and I asked her how else I’d get here.” Kurt started rambling excitedly. “And she said she teleports everywhere! But I didn’t know how to do that so she taught me!”

“Right now? In ten minutes time?” Blaine’s brows furrowed as he looked skeptically at his – and his heart swelled as he thought it – boyfriend.

“Yeah! It’s really easy. Look!” Kurt exclaimed, and suddenly he was gone.

Blaine stared at the empty air where Kurt had just disappeared, until something sounded behind him. He turned his head around to find Kurt rapping his knuckles against the window. But then he was gone again, and Blaine first looked toward the passenger seat but it was empty. His gaze traveled wildly around through the windshield until he spotted Kurt on the roof of the house. Blaine’s heart skipped a beat and before he had time to think that Kurt was dead - that he couldn’t fall and get hurt - he was on the front porch of the house. And suddenly something poked Blaine’s shoulder. He blinked slowly and turned to Kurt who was back in the car.

“How did you DO that?” Blaine exclaimed, putting a hand on Kurt’s knee so he wouldn’t disappear again.

“I just think of a place where I want to be, imagine myself there and POOF!” Kurt gestured wildly with his arms. “I’m there!”

“Kiss me.” Blaine demanded, grinning at how giddy and silly Kurt was acting.

Kurt started. “What?”

“Kiss me.” Blaine repeated. “Please!”

“Oh. Okay.” Kurt blushed a little but leaned forward and pressed his lips to Blaine’s.

Blaine sighed blissfully as his lips started tingling. He pulled back for a moment just to whisper against Kurt’s lips. “You are amazing.”

At that, Kurt put both his arms around Blaine’s neck and kissed him harder.

Wednesday the 11th of April 2012

Kurt shifted in the armchair, settling in a cross-legged position; not realizing his knees were pointing out through the sides of it. Blaine’s phone started ringing on the nightstand and Kurt looked up from the poetry-book he was reading and saw Blaine glance up from his textbook on the bed. “Who is it?” Kurt asked, flipping a page in the book.

Blaine picked the phone up and looked at the screen. He looked confused for a second before replying. “It’s your dad.” He looked questioningly at Kurt, as if he was wondering if he should answer.

“Answer it, then.” Kurt said, putting the poetry book on the floor and standing as Blaine answered the call.

“Hello, sir.” Blaine said politely as Kurt sat down beside him on the bed.

“Hello, Blaine.” Burt began, and sighed heavily. “I really don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Okay?”

“Okay.” Blaine said hesitantly. This didn’t sound like it was going to be a pleasant conversation.

“I don’t want to hear from you again.” Burt continued, and Blaine froze. “I want to thank you for your incredible kindness about this situation you have with Kurt. But since you told me he’s still here, I’ve only felt worse than I did before. I can’t concentrate at work, I can’t sleep. When Kurt’s mother died it took me months to recover enough to function properly again. And losing my son has been so much worse. Kurt is dead, and we can never again have what we had when he was alive. You told me a couple of weeks ago that he’s happy now, and that’s enough for me. I can start to really move on now, accepting that he’s gone but knowing he’s really in a better place.”

“I understand.” Blaine said and avoided looking at Kurt who was bouncing excitedly next to him, waiting for Blaine to tell him what his father had to say.

“Tell him I love him, alright?”

“I will. Bye sir.”

“Goodbye, Blaine. Thank you.”

“What did he say?” Kurt beamed as Blaine hung up. “Is he ready to go see your grandmother?”

“Kurt.” Blaine said carefully and took one of Kurt’s hands in his own. “Please be still.”

Kurt stilled and cocked his head to the side. “What is it?”

“Kiss me.” Blaine asked and put his free hand against Kurt’s cheek, burying his fingertips in his hair.

“Okay?” Kurt leaned forward and kissed him fast, still waiting.

Blaine was about to break his boyfriend’s heart. “Okay, Kurt. Finish listening to me before reflecting on what I’m going to say, okay?”

“You’re making me nervous, Blaine. What did dad say?”

And Blaine told Kurt what his father had said, as close to word-to-word as he could. He saw Kurt’s face change from nervous, to shocked, to angry, to sad and finally settling on heartbroken.

“What?” Kurt whined, tears pooling in his eyes. Eyes that Blaine was sure changed color according to Kurt’s mood, because at the moment they were close to gray. “He doesn’t want anything to do with us?”

“Kurt, you know that’s not it. It’s complicated.” Blaine tried, scooting closer to Kurt on the bed. Kurt started sobbing into his hands and Blaine tried putting his arms around Kurt, but they went straight through him. That cold-spot-feeling Blaine felt when Kurt wasn’t solid spread across his arms before he pulled them back against his chest. He felt helpless. “Kurt, concentrate on being solid. I can’t hold you if you don’t.” Kurt didn’t respond, he just kept crying. Blaine tried putting his arms around Kurt again, but the same thing happened again. “Please, honey.” he pleaded, tears forming in his own eyes as well.

Suddenly he was lying on his back on the bed, Kurt nuzzling his wet face against Blaine’s neck. Blaine raised his arms and wound them around Kurt’s shaking torso. Kurt continued to sob, clutching at Blaine’s shirt. Blaine lifted one hand to stroke through the hair at the back of Kurt’s head with his fingertips. “Shh, Kurt. You’ll be okay.” he cooed.

They stayed like this for a long time until Kurt moved down from Blaine’s chest and crawled in under the crook of Blaine’s arm, resting his ear against Blaine’s chest. Blaine hugged him close as he sniffled.

“You’ll be okay, baby.” Blaine whispered after a while. “I’ll take some time off school and we can stay in my house and I can just hold you and comfort you for as long as you need me to.” He kissed Kurt’s hair and waited for him to answer.

When he didn’t, Blaine looked down at his eyes and realized they were closed. Again, Kurt had worn himself out completely. Blaine brushed his fingertips through Kurt’s hair, reveling in the feeling of Kurt’s warmth seeping into his skin through his shirt. He didn’t think about the fact that Kurt was solid, even though he was now sleeping, before he himself drifted off into sleep.

Thursday the 12th of April 2012

Kurt startled awake, feeling like he was drowning. He couldn’t breathe properly and frantically grasped the fabric in front of him.

“Kurt, calm down.”

Kurt’s eyes focused on Blaine, and he quickly stopped clawing at him. “I’m sorry. Horrible dream.” Kurt blushed a bit and tried to inch away from Blaine, but he just pulled Kurt closer.

“It’s okay. You passed out while I held you.”

Kurt tried to stop his blush, nuzzling his cheek against Blaine’s shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Blaine asked softly, running his hand across Kurt’s arm.

“No.” Kurt whispered, and Blaine didn’t argue. They just continued to lie there in silence, Blaine slowly stroking his fingers up and down Kurt’s arm. Kurt lifted his head a little to peek at the clock on Blaine’s bedside table. It was almost three in the morning. “You should sleep, so you won’t fall asleep in class.”

“I will take the day off to comfort you. And if you need it, I’ll take a few more days or weeks off school so we can stay in my house until you feel better.”

“You shouldn’t.” Kurt protested weakly. He didn’t want Blaine to do that, but he really needed him to. He was unsure if he could… survive, if he didn’t have Blaine to help him get through this.

“I’ll go down to the administration building in the morning and fill in some paperwork and then we can leave for my house. But let’s rest for a while, you must be exhausted.”

“I am.” Kurt sighed. “I feel like I didn’t sleep at all, if you can even call my ghost-unconsciousness sleeping.”

Blaine just hushed Kurt gently and stroked his fingers across his skin. He met Kurt’s eyes before closing his own and releasing a breath. Kurt sighed and closed his eyes as well, his head following Blaine’s chest in its slow, steady rise and fall.

When Blaine woke up in the morning Kurt was still asleep, so he silently snuck out the door and toward the administration building.

He made sure to look as bad as possible as he entered the building and greeted the receptionist. He asked her for the papers needed for absence due to sickness, and coughed in the crook of his arm for good measure. The receptionist handed him the papers and gave him her get-well-wishes. Blaine thanked her and walked slowly out of the building, hoping his faked illness had fooled her.

He filled in the papers and left them at the principal’s office, before going back to his room to pack up the things he was going to need at the house. Kurt was still asleep when he returned so he sneaked around, quietly pulling books out of their shelf and stuffing them in his bag. Blaine was a little nervous about how long he would be away from school to tend to Kurt, since he would be graduating in less than two months. But Kurt was more important, Blaine decided.

Kurt broke down crying again when he woke up, realizing everything wasn’t a bad dream. Blaine held him as he sobbed incoherent sentences, where the only words Blaine could make out were “dad” and “why”.

Finally Kurt calmed down enough so that Blaine could understand what he was saying. “Can we please go to your house, Blaine?”

“Of course we can.” Blaine smiled softly and wiped Kurt’s wet cheeks. Blaine glanced at the clock and thought that his friends should be about halfway through their first class of the day right now. So Kurt and Blaine got ready and got in Blaine’s car, beginning the drive away from Dalton.

Kurt managed to keep it together until they got through the front door, but Blaine’s bags were discarded in the hallway as Blaine led his sobbing boyfriend into the bedroom to cuddle. He hoped dearly that Kurt wouldn’t be this sad for long, because it hurt his soul to see him cry. It was even worse than when he cried himself. Even if Blaine had endured some rough times in his life, he couldn’t imagine how this would feel to Kurt. So he just held him and whispered all the loving words he could think of in the brunette’s ear.

Tuesday the 17th of April 2012

They had spent almost a week away from Dalton now, but Kurt was crying just as much and as frequently. Blaine had barely had time to eat, sleep or let alone do his studying. But he didn’t mind, he just wanted Kurt to feel better. So he pulled his shaking boyfriend closer and sang to him under his breath, stroking his fingertips through his hair.

When he finished singing Kurt sniffled and met Blaine’s eyes. “I just don’t understand.”

“You probably never will. You just have to know that your father loves you.” Blaine said and moved a lock of Kurt’s hair away from his face. “And that I love you.”

It had slipped out before Blaine had time to react, and now Kurt’s eyes seemed bigger than ever.