Chapter 3

A few hours later, Blaine found himself on the roof, waiting for Kurt on the same platform they’d occupied the previous night.  It was cold, but that didn’t seem to matter as he stared across the sky at the vast expanse before him.  The Capitol was so large.  The buildings seemed to tower over the ground, threatening to fall, but never doing so.  Blaine couldn’t even imagine the engineering that must have gone into this place.  The planning had to have been top-notch to support these skyscrapers.  The towers surrounded the one he sat atop, forming a jail-like barrier around the training center.  He laughed at that, they even went as far as to symbolically make this place a jail. 

A low cough from behind broke him from his thoughts.  He smiled at the sight of Kurt, even though he knew he shouldn’t.  Hell, he shouldn’t be up here to begin with.  What had happened to “I need to stop getting attached”? Whatever. All he could think right now was how Kurt’s eyes looked even bluer in the moonlight, like mirrors almost. Where had that thought come from? 

“Hi,” Blaine said.

“Hello.” With that, Kurt took a seat.  If Blaine didn’t know any better, he’d say that Kurt was a little bit closer than he’d been the night before, but he knew better.

Almost immediately, Kurt dove into conversation.  He started out by asking what life had been like for Blaine in District 3, and they went from there.  Blaine found it strange that Kurt was so comfortable talking about anything and everything, well maybe not everything.  There had been a few times when the conversation would veer in a direction that Kurt obviously wasn’t comfortable with.  He would instantly change the topic and keep talking like nothing happened, but Blaine saw.  One such time occurred when Blaine brought up his mother.  After describing his timid, loving mother, Blaine had prodded for details about Kurt’s.

“Oh, well…I-I mean, you know…she’s…um,” then he looked away from Blaine into the distance. “Did you see the boy from District 8 this morning? Talk about being fed right, that kid looked like he’d never gone a day in his life without eating a cow.”  He tried to laugh then, and turned back towards Blaine.

Whenever it happened, Blaine would laugh, too, because he didn’t want to over step boundaries.  To be honest, he wasn’t quite sure what the boundaries were at this point.  

When it started to get late, Kurt brought up an unexpected point of discussion, throwing Blaine off-guard.  They had been talking about their friends from their respective districts. 

“You know, it’s weird, growing up, people would always talk about ‘liking’ other kids.  I never really understood, though.  I would just say, yeah I like people, and they would laugh in my face, saying, ‘No, as in attracted to.’ I mean, I guess there have been a few…people that I’ve been ‘attracted’ to, but I don’t think it was actually… attraction…it, um yeah…no, it wasn’t. Guess I’ll never really know though, considering I’ll probably die in a couple of days.” Then, he laughed, which Blaine was starting to realize was his default, so to speak. “Sorry, I suppose that’s just me thinking out loud, you can just ignore that, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine.”  Actually, as Kurt had been spilling, Blaine realized that it was kind of true for him too.  He’d really never felt attracted to anyone, in that way.  He’d never kissed anyone, or really felt a need to.  He’d known most of the girls from home long enough to actually find it repulsive to kiss them, but what did it matter anyway.  He’d probably never see them again.

At that point, Kurt stood, offering Blaine his hand to help him up off the platform.

“I think that’s our cue to go to bed,” Kurt remarked, referring to the awkward turn of conversation.  Actually, why was it awkward? Why couldn’t two guys just talk about something like that? Unless…there was something there that neither one wanted to mention; something that Blaine didn’t even fully see, yet.

Kurt, once again, joined Blaine and Cindy for training the next day.  He convinced them to try the combative exercises, which they had avoided prior to that morning.  It scared Blaine to try anything physical, in case he or Cindy got hurt before the games.  It certainly would not be good to go into the arena already having an injury.

The first station they tried was archery.  Right away Blaine realized this was Kurt’s forte.  It was the way he so easily picked up the bow, and handled the arrows, as if it was second nature to him.  His theory proved itself as Kurt aligned himself with the target and shot his first arrow.  The shot was almost perfect, probably about 5 centimeters off the center, but still pretty damn good. 

While seeing this amazing display, it hit Blaine again that he didn’t have anything to show off.  The only thing he’d been good with at home had been the electronics, and honestly, how would that help him once he was in the wild of the arena? It wouldn’t.  He was doomed.  Even Cindy could probably do a better job surviving without him than with him.  Blaine would just be a hindrance to her adept hiding and camouflaging skills. 

“Do. You. Want. To. Try. And. Shoot. The. Arrows?” Kurt said, mockingly, as if Blaine couldn’t understand him.  Oh, Kurt had been trying to get his attention before.

“Oh. Oh! Um. I don’t know, I wouldn’t be very good,” Blaine decided.

“Yeah, and now’s definitely the time to be wussing out of things isn’t it? Who knows the bow might end up being your only savior.” Sarcasm, again. That must be this kid’s thing.

“Fine,” and with that he grabbed the arrow.

Oh crap, how was he supposed to hold this thing? He’d just watched Kurt about 10 seconds ago with the stupid weapon, how could he not remember.  This was embarrassing.  The curved part went in your left hand, right? Or was that dependent on your dominant hand?  Did it face toward or away from your body? He had no clue.

By this time Kurt was giving him a look of pity.  “Okay, here.”  He walked over to Blaine and he put his hands on the bow.  He took the bow for a second and turned it around so the arched part was away from Blaine. Blaine really had had no idea what he was doing. Kurt took Blaine’s left hand in his and placed it on the handle at the crest of the arch. 

Kurt’s touch was soft, and his hand seemed to linger on top of Blaine’s just for a second, but long enough to notice.  After removing his hand, Kurt retrieved an arrow from the quiver and laid it in Blaine’s open palm.  He took hold of Blaine’s wrist and moved it so the arrow was lined up correctly.  He made sure Blaine’s hand was ready then left his side.

What Blaine hadn’t expected was for Kurt to reappear just at his elbow.  He tensed when Kurt grabbed hold of his elbow and pushed it gently up. 

His mouth was right at Blaine’s ear when he whispered, “Now, just breathe, slowly, and concentrate.” Blaine tried to do as he was told, but it was really hard.  It was very hard to concentrate with Kurt practically breathing in his ear like that.  “Pull back and keep an eye on your target.”

Blaine attempted to breathe, he really did.  Why was this so hard?  Why was Kurt insistent on teaching him this way.

“And release.” At that point Kurt moved away, and Blaine relaxed slightly.  He could still feel the ghost of Kurt’s breath on his ear.

He released and the arrow glided through the air, in a perfect line all the way until it hit…the very edge of the target.  He grunted.  This was Kurt’s fault.  Not that he would bring it up (that would just open up a whole new issue).  He probably just sucked at archery.

“That was…alright,” Kurt said, obviously trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just go somewhere else.”

Kurt obliged and they made to find Cindy who had gone to test out the edible plants station.  They joined her. She seemed to be managing alright, by the looks of the score board she’d only have died four times and she’d solved 24 of them.  One out of six.

The trio remained at the plant station until lunch which seemed to pass quickly.  After lunch they all decided to try throwing weights, a skill which none seemed to possess.  Of the three, Blaine seemed the best at this, though not good by any means.  How he was going to manage in the arena was a mystery.

As they were leaving, Kurt decided to make sure he and Blaine still had their rooftop rendezvous planned.  Blaine seemed mildly glad to indulge.  It was the look in those eyes, those golden-brown eyes that made him decide.  Tonight. Yeah, it would be tonight.  After all, you only live once, right?

Kurt sat in his room for a while, knowing that Blaine was probably waiting for him already.  He was debating.  He really wasn’t sure how to go about this whole thing.  For one thing, he’d never been in an even somewhat similar situation. Ever never.  Also, he wasn’t even sure how to define what he felt, and ‘he figured that would be an important part.

The simplest way to say it: he was…attracted to Blaine Anderson. 

He didn’t know why or how.  He just knew that he was.  He couldn’t explain the feeling.  He also knew it was wrong, to feel this way about someone.  Someone of the same gender, that is.  Against the law even.

Another thing he knew was that he could very well be screwing up his opportunity for an ally once in the arena.  Possibly even forming an enemy, if his suspicions about the other boy weren’t correct at all.  But he just had to.  He had to know what it felt like, at least before he died.

He noiselessly exited his bedroom and made his way to the elevator.

Then he saw her.  He had no idea how she had known he was coming.  Did she have like super-hearing or something? But she was there all the same.

“Hummel.”

“Ballantyn.”

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I really don’t see how that’s any of your business, Pomeline,” he sneered.

“It is my business when you’re in my district and we’re temporary partners.”

He laughed, “We were never partners.”

“Oh, baby, don’t worry,” she got in his face at this point, “I won’t dare think of you as my partner when we’re out in the open.  You’ll be the first one I come after. The very first, and you know what?”

She stopped, wanting him to respond.

“What?” he ground out, having to fight the desire to punch her right then and there.

“No one, no one back home who knows anything about your sorry ass is going to feel bad for you.  They’ll laugh when I’m gouging your eyes out with my bare hands,” she cackled, quite literally, like an evil witch.  “And I believe you know quite well why.”

He glared at her, until she smiled, laughed a final time and skipped, yes skipped, away.

What a bitch.

He saw Blaine, sitting in the same spot he had been the night before, just staring into the night.  He looked at the curve of his shoulders, the slight bend in his back.  His hair was so perfectly curly and dark, it blended well with the olive tone of his skin. 

Kurt walked over, careful to not disturb Blaine in his musing.  He threw his legs over the edge of their platform and just stared for a minute too, but not out at the city.  He was staring at Blaine’s eyes.  The look in them was indescribable.  So many thoughts, so many stories.  They all had them, but he wanted to know Blaine’s.  Of course, up to this point Blaine had been much more open with him than Kurt had been with him, but there were some things that needed to remain a secret.  For now at least.

“What?” Blaine inquired, catching Kurt staring at him.

“Well you know, you weren’t talking, so I figured I’d stare at you until you…you know talked…”  What the fuck, Hummel? He thought to himself.  He’d never had this much trouble talking.  He was the king of witty, sarcastic comebacks.  He had to do something about this and soon. 

Then, Blaine surprised him. 

“Can we make a deal?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Well, I mean, it seems like you care about Cindy, too, am I right?”

“I suppose so, she’s a sweet girl.”

“Can you promise me that no matter what happens in the arena, you’ll help me watch after her? Because I’ve kind of made that promise to myself, and I figure with two protectors, she’ll be even better off,” Blaine looked away then at something on the ground.

“Oh,” Kurt said.  He felt like it should have been an easy decision.  That little girl deserved to live more than he did.  She was innocent. Him, not so much.  On the other hand there was always that part of his conscience screaming at him the survival instincts he should use.  Watching after that girl would mean that even if he got all the way to the end, if he commited himself to her, he would die, inevitably.  Saying yes to Blaine meant death.

So when he made his decision it had nothing to do with what he felt for Blaine, or even his value for his own life.  It only depended on one thing.  “Yes, I will.”  The life in that little girl.

“Good,” with that, Blaine looked up at him and smiled.  He had such a nice smile.  Before he really knew what he was doing, Kurt was moving closer to that smile.  It was like there was a magnet pulling him towards the other boy, and he just couldn’t resist.

And then…

And then suddenly Kurt’s lips were on his.  Soft and warm, gentle.  Why wasn’t he pulling away? Why was he letting Kurt Hummel, another boy, kiss him? He didn’t know.  All he knew was that Kurt’s lips fit perfectly against his.  It seemed almost desperate, the way Kurt was kissing him, though not harsh. 

Blaine suddenly felt Kurt’s hand on the back of his neck, like he just needed something, anything to hold on to.  Then Kurt’s lips were gone, but his forehead was pressed against Blaine’s.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against Blaine’s lips.

Blaine, still kind of shocked from the temerity of the act, didn’t know how to respond.  Well, he knew how to respond, he would’ve said something along the lines of “Don’t be” or  “It’s okay” or something simple like that.  But he literally could not speak at the moment.

Kurt lightly brushed his lips over Blaine’s one last time, making Blaine tremble at the contact, and stood.  Blaine watched him walk into the elevator and turn around to give Blaine a small, weary smile before the doors closed.

Oh. My. Goodness.