Chapter 3

Kurt would never forget his days in high school. Those four long years of bullying and torture.  That was when Kurt thought he was gay. Was dead-set on it, in fact.  He was in the Glee club, and sang Broadway tunes (that much hadn’t changed).  He wore the latest fashions and even had a crush on the most popular guy in school, his current step-brother, Finn Hudson (it was a long story).  Kurt had come out to his dad during his sophomore year, and the older man had accepted the prospect.  Kurt even thought he’d come to a point where he accepted himself.

But that wasn’t the case. About half-way through his senior year, Kurt began questioning what was right and wrong.  No one else seemed to share his feelings, so maybe they weren’t the right ones. He started to rethink everything he stood for.  Maybe there was something wrong with him.  So he did the only thing he could think to do.  He started to date girls.  Though it felt wrong at first, Kurt found that it was nice, just to let go.  It was nice to fit in.  He pushed back any sexual desire for anybody but females.   He buried it deep in the back of his mind, hopefully never to arise again.  It confused everyone for a while, since they had all known Kurt as “The Gay Kid,” but eventually they came to terms with it.  He dated so many girls during the end of his senior year, so many he didn’t think it was possible.  Kurt lost his virginity at his senior prom to a girl named Quinn.  Quinn was Finn’s recent ex, not that that had anything to do with the matter. At least not in Kurt’s conscious mind. 

After high school, Kurt took things to a new level.  He mastered the art of getting women.  The task was surprisingly easy for him.  He always knew exactly what to say, exactly what to do.  He often used his more feminine insights to get an upper hand.  Most men couldn’t do this.  Kurt was able to listen.  He could listen to a girl talk for hours, and absorb it all.  Girls liked that.  He’d conquered every in and out of the process. Although, he never got attached. That wasn’t the point. He didn’t want to settle down with some girl, have a family or whatever.  No, the point (though Kurt didn’t realize it) was to prove to himself that he could. That women were actually the right way to go. And so far, he’d succeeded.

It had been five years since Kurt had questioned his sexuality, and he had no intention of doing so again.

“How does this look?” Blaine walked out of his bedroom to see Wes sitting on the couch reading a book.

Wes looked up, scanned the other man, and looked back down. “Positively dapper.”

“Wes. Seriously. I need to look good.”

“Where are you even going?” Blaine started, but Wes cut him off, “I know, I know. Some random stranger is giving you lessons on how to pick up chicks. But really, Blaine? Maybe I should come with-“

“No! No. I mean, that’s nice of you, but I think I need to do this alone. I don’t think showing up with a friend would help my case very much.”

“Fine, fine.” He started to read again, but then looked back up. “The outfit sucks by the way.”

Blaine groaned and skulked back into his bedroom.

Once again, Kurt was the first to arrive. He sat alone at the bar for about fifteen minutes before Blaine showed up.  He looked slightly more presentable in a short-sleeved black button down that accentuated his small torso and a pair of slightly-too-tight jeans. And a red bowtie. What was with this guy and bowties? Still, the look wasn’t quite what Kurt had been hoping for.  They’d have to work on that.

“Punctuality,” Kurt stated once Blaine sat down next to him at the bar.

“Excuse me?”

Kurt gave him a condescending look before saying, “If you’re going on a date at 7 o’clock, do you show up at 7:20? No. Never. Don’t leave them waiting, if anything be a little early. Not too early, though.  This is the second time you’ve kept me waiting.”

“Oh. I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, but work on it. Okay, now take your pick.”

“Huh?” Blaine was confused. Did he mean drinks?

“Look around you, idiot. There are plenty of eligible young women. Choose one.”

Blaine nodded briefly before taking a glance around. Then he remembered their previous conversation. “Wait. I thought you were going to help me get Santana back.”

Kurt heaved a sigh, “Yes. We will get back your precious darling, eventually, but first you need to know what you’re doing.  And I need to see exactly what I’m working with. So we’re going to start by hooking you up, then I’ll teach you the proper etiquette, and you can use your new found skills on this dream girl. So take your pick.”

Blaine mulled it over in his head, before deciding Kurt probably knew best and continued to look around.  There were lots of girls there.  Tall ones, short ones, pudgy ones, skinny ones.  He saw one, a small blonde who looked like she was probably shorter than himself(a plus), standing with a group of friends.

“Her,” he pointed.

Kurt looked in the direction and saw the girl. A decent pick. He looked at the others in the group and decided he could have some fun over there too.  “Okay, we’re both going to go over there. I’ll do introductions, then you strike up a conversation. Remember this is like a pre-test of sorts. I just want to see what you can do. Order a drink, though, first, it looks more relaxed. Without one, it makes it seem like you just came to the bar to scope out women.”

Blaine ordered a beer before Kurt stood up and began to walk away. Blaine stared after him, somewhat scared by the prospect.  Also, he noticed Kurt’s outfit for the first time.  He looked so put together. And his jeans were really tight.  Wow, Blaine thought.

The bartender set the beer in front of him as Kurt turned back around, “Are you coming or not?”

Blaine shook himself from his thoughts and looked up at the other boy’s face. “Oh, yeah.”

Once they had reached the pack of females, Kurt immediately made an entrance.

“Hello, ladies,” he said with a flirty smile. “My name is Kurt, and this is my friend Blaine,” he gave a slight gesture in Blaine’s general direction. “Do you mind if we join you for a bit?”

Blaine attempted to analyze every detail from there on out.  How easily Kurt made conversation about the girls’ outfits or hair.  He just seemed so natural. Blaine enjoyed watching the way Kurt used his hands when he talked. The ease with which he laughed at something one of the girls would say. At one point, Kurt shot Blaine a pointed glance, cocking his head to the girl Blaine had indicated earlier. Blaine was fear-stricken. 

He looked at the blonde standing beside him, laughing at something or another Kurt had said.  She seemed tipsy.  That could be a good thing.

“So, uh, I like your dress,” Blaine attempted.

For a second, he didn’t think she had heard him, but then she smiled and tore her eyes from Kurt and looked at Blaine.

“Thanks! It’s from this really expensive store on Main Street…” she continued to talk, but Blaine ceased to listen.  He honestly didn’t care where she’d gotten the dress, but he smiled and nodded when it seemed appropriate.  She talked for a while, and Blaine had a feeling she was one of those talking drunks because the alcohol seemed to egg her on. 

Eventually, Blaine decided he should interrupt. If he was going to do this, he needed another drink, his was almost out.  “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked while she gasped for air between sentences.

“Yeah, sure!”

They walked over to the bar. Blaine began to speculate how this went. Did you sit down at the bar with a girl? Was he supposed to ask her what she wanted before he ordered? Did she order for herself? He decided to just order his own, and gesture for her to tell the guy what she wanted. He had a feeling that wasn’t right, but whatever.  He sat down at the bar, and the girl, whatever her name was, joined him.  She instantly started talking again. He sighed. Suddenly, he was very aware of Kurt staring at him from across the room.  He refused to look, but he could see from the corner of his eye, that he was being watched, analyzed.

They received their drinks and Blaine decided to throw in a “Mmmhmmm” or a “Yeah, definitely” to the one-sided conversation occasionally. Did this girl have an off button? Blaine lost count of how many beers he’d had around six. He started to feel that all too familiar warmth.  Intoxication was welcoming.

Suddenly Blaine felt a hand on his own.  “You want to go somewhere?”

The words took a minute to come together in his mind, but finally Blaine nodded, not really knowing what he was agreeing to.  The girl tugged at his arm before Blaine stood up and clumsily followed her wherever she had in mind.  “Somewhere” turned out to be the bathroom.

“I’ve never been in the men’s bathroom, let’s go in there,” she smiled and pulled him inside.  The bright white of the bathroom brought Blaine back to his senses and he was abruptly aware of the situation. 

“Wait, wha-“ The words were lost as the girl pushed Blaine up against the wall. Her lips were on his. Her body pressed up against him. 

Her tongue begged for entrance and, not knowing what else to do, he allowed it.  This was all happening really fast, and Blaine didn’t know what to do. After all, he’d only kissed two girls his entire life. His mother and Santana.  He decided to wrap his arms around her, and she fell against him. It kind of hurt, but he didn’t object.  The whole situation just seemed…awkward.

Then, almost like a blessing, someone opened the door.  The person gasped and dropped the drink they were carrying. Blaine felt the liquid soak into his pants as the girl pushed herself off of him. It was Kurt.

The girl looked down at her now beer-splattered dress in anger.  She groaned something about it being ruined or how much it cost.  “Whatever, you weren’t a good kisser anyways.”  Blaine really didn’t see how that was relevant at all, but who could understand the minds of girls? Then she stormed out.   

Blaine chanced a look at Kurt, who was holding back laughter.  He glared at him before seeing the hilarity of the situation and smiling himself. Then Kurt burst in to giggles and Blaine couldn’t help but join him. 

Taking a breath, Kurt said, “Okay, okay. We need to get you cleaned up.  I have a dryer at my apartment. I need to discuss some things with you anyways.”

Blaine agreed and Kurt led him out of the bathroom.  They walked to Kurt’s apartment in a comfortable silence. Though it was uncomfortable for Blaine to walk in beer soaked jeans.