Chapter 16

                The show was over, and Kurt felt exhilarated. He had excitement racing through his veins. It couldn’t have gone better. He hit every note, and his acting was exemplary. Not even Julianna’s antics had messed him up. He was looking around at the busy crew, cleaning up, when Paul walked up to him.

“Hey, Kid, that was fantastic! You should hear the people out there, they’re all talking about the new kid on Broadway.” He patted Kurt on the back and beamed at him. “I’m going to have to talk to you about the official part. Would that be okay with you?”

Kurt’s jaw dropped. “O-of course! Yes! I would be honored.”

Paul laughed, saying, “That’s great, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Kurt nodded eagerly, then felt a warm, familiar hand in his own. He jerked his head around to see Blaine standing there beside him, his smile matching Kurt’s. Paul looked Blaine up and down before patting Kurt’s shoulder again and walking away.

As soon as Paul had walked away, Blaine pulled Kurt into a death-grip hug. “I am so proud of you, Kurt,” he said into his shoulder. He pulled back to look into Kurt’s joy-filled eyes, then down at his lips. He wanted to kiss him, but wasn’t sure how Kurt would feel about it, so he decided not to.

Kurt looked around Blaine to see Rachel and Finn approaching from around the corner. They all congratulated him, telling him how remarkable his performance was. He gave them the news that Paul wanted to let him have the part for good, and Rachel squealed, jumping up and down. Shortly after, Kurt felt an arm snake around his waist, but this embrace wasn’t comforting. He knew who it was before he turned.

“You were really good out there, Hummel,” the words were whispered hotly into his ear. He shuddered.

“You, too, Julianna,” he looked over at her, then back at his visitors. He decided to try something. “Oh, how rude of me, Julianna. This is my friend Rachel and my step brother, Finn.” He gestured to each of them in turn, and Julianna nodded to each. “And this,” he pulled Blaine close to him, “is Blaine, my boyfriend.”

Blaine’s eyebrows shot up, he studdered, “Wh-What?” Kurt elbowed him in the side, and he shut up. Kurt had called him his boyfriend. Blaine looked over to see Finn looked as shocked as he felt and Rachel was smiling like a fool.

Julianna eyed Blaine carefully, “Nice to meet you,” she said, then with more than a little malice in her voice, “I’m surprised he’s never mentioned you.” She slid her arm from Kurt’s waist and leaned in close again, so Kurt was the only one who could hear her, “Don’t think this changes anything.” She walked away slowly, giving a small wave and a fake smile to the group.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Rachel started making barfing noises. “Ew, she’s the one who tried to kiss you, right? Well she is definitely an evil bitch whore.”

Kurt laughed, shakily, “You can say that again.”

Finn spoke up then, looking at Kurt with an extremely confused expression on his face, “Um, dude, not that, you know, I have any problem with it or anything. But since when are you gay again? I thought the whole man-whore image was your thing now.”

Rachel smacked his shoulder and he glared at her. Kurt blushed, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know, Finn, I guess I kind of always have been.”

Finn continued to get more confused, “How does that work? Didn’t you have sex with like every girl in high school. And a bunch here? I mean, man, your track record doesn’t exactly back this up, Kurt. Now suddenly you’re dating a guy? That’s going to be hard to explain.” His face was contorted like he was trying to work through a tough math problem.

“Shut up, Finn. It’s none of your business. Besides we’re not even dating,” Kurt heard the words leave his mouth, but didn’t move to take them back. He didn’t even notice Blaine’s discomfort as he continued to quarrel with his brother.

Blaine’s mind was reeling. The words of Kurt and Finn’s argument spinning around him, but he wasn’t really listening, he’d heard enough. So they weren’t official? How many girls had Kurt slept with? What was he getting himself into here? Kurt had said boyfriend, but he hadn’t meant it. He’d just said that to get that girl off his back. They hardly knew each other. It was all smacking him in the face at one time and he felt dizzy and kind of sick. “I-I need to get some fresh air.”

He half-ran, half-stumbled to the backstage exit, pushing the door open brusquely. He sat down on the steps there and let the night air fill his lungs, even though his heart was beating rapidly. He hadn’t seen if anyone followed him and he didn’t care. He just needed out of that stuffy theater. He was sitting in a back alley, and the smell hit him. It wasn’t as refreshing as he had hoped for, but it was better at least.

He tried to take deep, calming, breaths but it wasn’t working. He was too worked up. A few minutes later, he heard the noises of the door opening and closing behind him. A body sat beside him, not touching him, but close enough that he could feel the presence. He didn’t look over though.

If Blaine had looked up, he would have seen the stars in the night sky; if he looked to the side, he could have seen the night life of New York City, or Kurt’s profile illuminated in the light of the moon. But he didn’t look anywhere. All he saw was an ominous brick wall, looming over him.

It was a few minutes before Kurt got up the nerve to talk, both remaining still and quiet.

“I think,” he began. Once he started speaking, the words flowed from his mouth, because what he was saying was what he had needed to say for a long time. “I think that this is hard for both of us. It’s new for both of us. We didn’t really know what we were getting into. We rushed into this thing, this void of new territory without thinking. I don’t know you, Blaine. I know virtually nothing about you. Likewise, you know nothing about me. I’m broken inside. I’ve been through hell and back, and for a while, I didn’t think I would be able to pick up the pieces. I had accepted a life of torture and denial, and I felt like I was fine with that.

“You know, to be honest, this is a stupid idea. One of us going to wind up hurt. It’s inevitable. I told you before I don’t believe in getting attached, and I stand by that. It’s a mistake. Anyone you ask will tell you the pain they’ve endured in these circumstances.

“But you know what else, Blaine?” he looked over at the other man for the first time, but Blaine still didn’t budge. “For the first time in my life, I feel like the pieces are being put back together. Like my life is working itself out, and I don’t have to be afraid anymore. And the thing-the person that helped me to do that is you, Blaine. It’s you. And I may not know you. I may not know what awful things you’ve been through, but I want to. I want to know everything about you. I want to know what makes you happy. I want to know what things I can’t bring up in conversation because they’re a sore spot. I want to know your favorite color, or your favorite restaurant growing up as a kid. I want to know everything.”

Kurt paused, before continuing, “So I guess what I’m trying to say is, Blaine Anderson, you are my exception. I never thought I’d have one. I never thought there would be someone that I’d want to become attached to, but I was wrong.

“I can’t promise I’m going to be completely comfortable. Or that I’ll be nice all the time. I can’t promise that there won’t be moments where I want to throw it all out the window and walk away. What I can promise though is that this moment, right here, in this dark, creepy alley, this is real. I know what I want right now. And that’s you. So the finale. Blaine,” he reached over to tug gently at Blaine’s chin, making him look directly into his eyes, “will you be my boyfriend?”

Blaine stared intently into Kurt’s deep blue eyes, tears welling up in his own. He’d been holding them back since the beginning of the monologue, but finally he just let them go. Before he could give it a second thought, he crashed their mouths together desperately. They both gasped and laughed as they kissed, Blaine whispering soft Yes’s when their lips would break momentarily. They could both taste the saltiness of Blaine’s tears on their tongues, but they knew that they were not tears of grief. They were tears of joy, because things were starting to look brighter.