Chapter 15

Blaine was still pressed tightly to Kurt’s side when Wes finally went to bed. Wes turned around to bid them both good night, and Blaine straightened slightly, but not too much. He returned the parting words, and sat up entirely when he saw his roommate’s door close.

He looked up at Kurt for the first time since he’d sat down, and saw the black eye forming on his face. “What happened to you, Babe?” Both his and Kurt’s eyes widened at the endearment, he had not intentionally said that. He brushed it off quickly, hoping it wouldn’t be awkward, and reached a hand to lightly outline the dark shape.

“I had a little run-in with a cast member, that’s all,” he shrugged it off, not feeling much like talking about it, he didn’t want Blaine to worry.

“Looks like a little more than a little run-in, Kurt.” Before he realized what he was doing, he brought his lips up and lightly kissed where his fingers had been. Then he straddled Kurt’s waist and quickly pressed his mouth to Kurt’s parted lips.

Kurt relaxed into the kiss, slowly trailing his tongue over Blaine’s bottom lip to ask for entrance. The other boy granted access. Kurt moaned unintentionally as their tongues tangled together, lips sliding against each other. Kurt lifted his hands to thread into the cap of gel on Blaine’s head, attempting to break the shell apart.

Blaine rearranged himself on Kurt’s lap until he pushed him backwards against the couch, his hands wrapped around Kurt’s waist and Kurt’s head on the arm. He was hovering above Kurt and he dove back down to kiss his lips again, then his mouth trailed down to his jaw and he kissed softly at the juncture there. He listened to the soft gasp Kurt made and smiled against his neck.

Kurt’s hands had traced down Blaine’s neck to the small of his back and were fisted in the fabric there. Blaine’s hands traveled downwards and lightly rubbed the skin just under the hem of Kurt’s shirt. He started to push it upwards and Kurt felt a knot growing in his stomach, and not a good kind. “Blaine…I-I. We should…” he breathed, sitting up and putting his hands against Blaine’s shoulders.

Blaine looked up suddenly, “What? Is this…is this too much?”

NO! Kurt wanted to scream. But that was just it, it wasn’t too much, and knowing his own past, Kurt didn’t trust himself to stop. For once in his life, he wanted to do things the right way. He wanted this thing with Blaine to be natural and to feel good, and not just for one night. “I just think we should take this slowly.” He could feel his heartbeat slowing down and the hardness in his lower regions beginning to fade. Blaine began to move off of Kurt, but he held him there. “But we can, um. This. Kissing. Kissing is good.” He looked at Blaine, hoping he understood. Blaine grinned ear-to-ear and almost fell back over Kurt.

They continued kissing for a while, memorizing the feeling of the other’s lips against their own.  Occasionally one or the other would let out a small moan, but otherwise they were quiet, simply enjoying the intimacy of their bodies pressed closely together, warm and soft.

When it got late, Kurt decided to head home, and Blaine offered to walk him there. When they headed out of the apartment and down to the street, Blaine grabbed for Kurt’s hand, and it was everything Kurt could do not to pull away. He wanted to hold Blaine’s hand, he really did, but he felt like he could feel the disapproving glares of people from miles away, urging him to do the right thing, the normal thing, and not hold hands with a boy he liked.

They outside at Kurt’s apartment door, hands still grasped and Blaine leaned in for a kiss goodbye. Kurt pulled away and looked at Blaine with hope in his eyes, “You’re going to come to my show tomorrow night, right? I can get you a ticket.”

Blaine was surprised Kurt even had to ask, and he said as much, “Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”

Kurt laughed and pecked Blaine on the lips one last time, before saying goodbye and entering his apartment.

Blaine was sitting behind the counter at work, while Rachel filed her nails for the umpteenth time that day. “I think Kurt’s really excited about his show, next week.” He said absently, trying half-heartedly to make conversation with his coworker.

Rachel glanced at him, not stopping the filing of her nails. “Yeah, of course he is. This has been what he dreamt of since he was a little kid, Blaine,” she said with what hinted at attitude in her voice. “I mean, wouldn’t you be excited if your dream came true?”

Blaine racked his brain trying to think what exactly his dream was. He opened his mouth and closed it again, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh, come on, you have to have had a dream. Something that you thought of before you went to sleep at night that would make everything better.” She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to get him to think it through, she couldn’t believe someone telling her they hadn’t had a dream.

Blaine thought back to his childhood and teenage years. He’d never had the opportunity to have a dream. He was constantly being pushed to the standard his father wanted for him. The standard of his brother, and that didn’t leave any room for Blaine to think of what he wanted.

“Surely you didn’t dream of working in a crappy clothes store for the rest of your life,” she smirked.

“No…no. I don’t really know what my dream is…was. I guess I never really had one.”

Rachel looked back down at her nails, while Blaine continued to fret over what she had said. How had he never had a dream? That didn’t seem possible.

“You’re up in five, Hummel.”

Kurt nodded stiffly. He’d never felt any strong sense of stage fright before, but this…this was Broadway.  The people out there expected excellence. What if he didn’t live up to the expectation? He was almost to the point of hyperventilation when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kurt. You look like you’re having a panic attack.” It was Paul, the director.

Kurt steadied his breathing and looked up at the other man, “Just a little nervous, I guess.” He managed a small smile.

“Well, no reason to be worried. You’re going to do great. There’s a reason I chose you, you know.” He winked at Kurt and moved on to other things he had to do.

Kurt took a final deep breath, then he was up. He stepped onto the stage, squinting momentarily in the bright lights. As he started singing his voice was unsteady at first. He got more confident and suddenly it felt amazing, to be on that stage singing on Broadway. He remembered that this was all he had ever wanted and also what he never wanted to lose.

Kurt had invited Rachel and, given her current affiliations, Finn in addition to Blaine. When Blaine entered the theatre and walked to his seat, they were already there in the seats next to his own. “Oh, hey, Rachel.”

“Blaine! This is Finn, my boyfriend, and also Kurt’s stepbrother.” She gestured to Finn who had stood up and was now holding a hand out to him.

Blaine accepted the hand and stated, “I’m Blaine, Kurt’s…uh…friend.” He had no idea how to say what he was.

Rachel smirked and the boys sat down on either side of her.Finn looked over at her and whispered, rather conspicuously, “What’s the deal with him?”

She reached over and patted him on the arm, “Just don’t worry about it, honey.”

 It wasn’t long before the show was starting. Whenever Kurt was on stage, Blaine could feel himself smiling. He loved Kurt’s voice. It was only the second time he’d heard it, but it had the same effect. He wasn’t even really paying attention to the show, he was so focused on Kurt.

He leaned over to Rachel and whispered, “He’s so amazing,” because he just had to share with someone.

Rachel just smiled and looked over at the love-struck boy beside her, “Yes, he is Blaine. Yes he is.”