Chapter 11

                That was the right thing to do, most definitely. You couldn’t have made a better decision, Kurt.

Kurt was attempting to drill the words into his head as he walked back to his apartment, but there was that overwhelming part of his brain that was screaming disagreement. Why couldn’t he give himself something that might just make him happy in the long run? Why didn’t he deserve that? He had dug himself deep into a hole of denial, and made himself believe it worked.

Then there were Blaine’s words: “What if I don’t want to forget it?” Did Blaine…feel the same way? Was that even possible? He shook his head and convinced himself it wasn’t.  After all, if it was possible, Kurt would have a whole other problem.

The moment he walked in his door his cell phone rang. It said “Dad” on the screen, he pressed talk.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

“Kurt, haven’t heard from you in a while, how are things going in the big city?” Kurt smiled, his dad was always so happy to talk to him.

“Well, actually, I have news. I got an audition, for a lead role in Phantom of the Opera.”

“That’s amazing, Kurt!” He heard his dad, obviously holding his hand over the receiver, yell the news to Carole. “Why haven’t you called?”

“Oh, you know, I’ve just been really busy.” Kurt held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he put his things where they belonged and went about his nightly routine.

“Not still fooling around with every girl you see, are you?”

Kurt rolled his eyes before responding, “No, Dad. Anyways, that’s really not your place to worry.”

“It is my business if you manage to get one of them pregnant, and come running back to me. Plus, I really don’t like you living like that.”

“Like, what, exactly?”

“You know, no attachments, no emotion. Throwing yourself around like you don’t mean anything. You need to find someone special, Kurt. Maybe try to settle down or something.”

Kurt made a choking sound, “Ew, no thank you. I don’t need that life, Dad. You know that.”

He heard his father sigh, “Yeah. Yeah, I know, Kurt. Just think about what I said, okay?” His father stopped, listening to something Carole said. “Carole wants to know if you’ve heard from Finn recently.”

Kurt scrunched up his eyebrows, thinking, he really hadn’t heard from his step-brother in a while. “Uh, no, actually.”

Burt laughed, “It’s amazing that you two can live in the same city and have pretty much no contact with each other. You should try to get together sometime.”

“I’ll try to get in touch, Dad.”

“Alright then, I’ll talk to you, soon.”

“Okay, I miss you guys. Tell Carole. Bye, Dad.”

“Bye, Kurt.”

He was covered in a blanket when he woke up. He realized he was not wearing clothes under that blanket. Blaine grunted as he sat up. He saw Santana in the kitchen wearing one of his t-shirts, despite the fact that she was living there, and had plenty of clothes of her own.

“Morning, Bright Eyes.” Santana smiled over at him.

All of the events from last night, from Kurt’s rejection to what had happened with Santana came rushing back to him. He hadn’t been drunk so the memory wasn’t fuzzy, but he still felt like crap. He looked to the side of the couch and saw his clothes sprawled across the floor. He reached for his boxer shorts and managed to pull them on under the blanket. He stood up and found his shirt from the night before and pulled it on, buttoning the buttons. He knew he wasn’t buttoning correctly, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He turned back around to look at Santana. He dropped his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes.  When he looked up again, Santana was standing next to him with two mugs of coffee. She handed one to him, and gestured to sit down. He complied, and sat down a few feet from her on the couch.

“You’re not going to be all distant now are you? I mean…” She looked away. It was rare that Santana looked nervous, or doubtful…or emotional in any way. Blaine felt a hint of sympathy for her.

“I’m not being distant. Just…I think we should have that talk.”

She looked back at him, “Oh, right. About that. I-“

“Wait, let me talk first,” he interrupted her. “You-You cheated on me, San. It’s taken me a while to realize it, but I can’t just forgive you for that.”

She laughed, “You can’t forgive me for that? Yeah, well then what was that last night? In case you haven’t noticed, we had sex, Blaine. Just like old times. You can’t throw me out after that,” she raised her eyebrows waiting for a response.

“Last night…Last night was a mistake. I was depressed, and I-I made a bad choice,” he stuttered through his words, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

She leaned in close to him and whispered, “You and I both know that you’re still in love with me.”

Blaine laughed and stood up, “Actually, I’m not! I’m not at all, Santana. I…found someone else.” As he said the words, he realized the truth in them. It might have taken an awful mistake, to realize it, but he was over Santana. She would always hold a place in his heart, as his first love, but he didn’t need her.

She raised her eyebrows at him, “You found someone else, but you slept with me? Maybe you’re more of a little whore than I thought you were.”

Blaine looked at her, eyes wide, “Yeah! Yeah, I found someone else. I don’t need you Santana.” He turned away slightly, mumbling, “Of course, he doesn’t share my feelings…” He said the words before realizing the implications.

Santana stood up, now angry. “Wait. ‘He’? You’re cheating on me with another guy, Blaine? I didn’t even know you were gay!”

“Cheating? Cheating? Since when were we dating again, Santana? Because as far as I know, having a one-night stand does not conclude as dating.”

She rolled her eyes, “Please. You’ve always been mine.”

Blaine was fed up. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted a finger, pointing to the door, “Go. Leave. You can’t live here anymore.”

Kurt didn’t sleep the night before. He couldn’t sleep. He’d sat around all night, watching reruns of Friends, but not really watching.

His thoughts consisted of…well for lack of a better description, Blaine. He was indecisive. Blaine made him feel all of those fairytale things he had dreamt of in high school. Blaine was sweet and funny. They talked easily, and there was just something there he couldn’t describe. It was everything that he’d never felt for a girl. He thought about what his dad had said, not wanting to live without emotion, and before Blaine, Kurt had just assumed that was how his life would go. Living from fling to fling. But maybe it didn’t have to be that way. Maybe Kurt could actually find…love. He shuddered when he thought the word. Baby steps, Hummel.

When the sun started to appear through the window, light seeping through the blinds, Kurt decided he just couldn’t sit around anymore. He had to do something, so he jumped in the shower and before he knew it, he was walking through New York City toward an apartment building he’d only been to once.

He made his way to the floor he wanted, not yet allowing his brain to focus on what he was doing. When he found the door, he stood still in front of it, his hand hovering above the wood. He was struck with the realization of what he was about to do. He had no idea what he would even say.

Kurt heard noises on the other side of the door, so there was no doubt there was someone inside. Just as he was about to knock, the door swung open to reveal a woman, with bags in her hands. She was facing away from Kurt and her voice was raised.

“We could have had it all, again, Blaine. We could have been the perfect couple. You’re just too shallow to realize that.” She was wearing a t-shirt that looked a little large for her, and a pair of jeans that she hadn’t even bothered to zip up yet. She turned around to face a wide-eyed Kurt. Her mouth curled up, slightly, and she laughed mirthlessly. “So is this him? Is this the little whore you’ve been seeing?”

Kurt saw Blaine walk into view. He was wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a haphazardly buttoned shirt. He reached a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “No, Santana. We’re not seeing each other.”

Kurt put all the pieces together and he felt his jaw drop slightly. Blaine’s disorderly appearance (even more than usual), and the girl’s matching one. Add in the fighting, and Kurt was positive he knew what was going on. His voice came out, more high-pitched than he’d expected, “Wait. Hold on, you…you two slept together.” He looked quickly between them.

The girl, Santana, eyed him, “Yeah. We did. Let me tell you something, Lady Lips, he’s mine. Always has been, always will be. Just because he’s going through some kind of confusion, or whatever, does not make that any less true.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, and she pushed past him towards the elevator. He looked after her, and whispered, “Santana? I feel like that should have been Satan.”

Blaine coughed and Kurt looked over at him, he laughed. “Well, you got what you wanted. It isn’t my fault you pushed her away. I guess you don’t need any more lessons.” He started walking down the hall.

“Kurt! Kurt, wait.” He heard Blaine come out into the hallway after him. He stopped walking. “I-I…you were the reason I made her leave.”

Kurt laughed before turning around, “Yeah, after you had sex with her, right?” He smirked. Then he realized how he sounded. “No. No, I don’t do this. I don’t get…jealous. No, I’m happy for you, Blaine. Maybe now you can get over her and move on. Find someone else.”

Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes, trying to figure out what he was really thinking. Kurt was so defensive. “Why did you come here?”

“It really doesn’t matter now,” he sighed.

Blaine walked closer to him, until he was standing directly in front of him. “Yes. Yes it does.” He reached up and cupped Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt wanted to pull away. He wanted to run to the elevator and back to his apartment, curl up in a ball on his couch and forget that this even happened. But instead he leaned into Blaine’s hand. “I…” Before he finished his sentence, Blaine was leaning toward him, brushing his lips against Kurt’s. Kurt leaned deeper into his mouth, pressing his lips flush against Blaine’s. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around Blaine’s neck, pulling him closer.

He pulled his lips away, leaning his forehead against Blaine’s. “This. This is what I came for,” he whispered breathlessly.

Blaine chuckled before dipping his mouth to catch Kurt’s again. He wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, and kissed him. Finally.