Killer in Shadow

3.

Backstage, stood a nervous young man. He had his eyes shut and his ears searched for every sound he could possibly hear. There were performances from other students; there were chatters and laughs; there were clapping and calling. Blaine tried to set his heart still.

The whole summer holiday and within the first two weeks of school, he had been thinking and picking songs to perform for his audition. He had done this for a million times already, but this one was different. This one was for the New Direction, the winner of the Nationals since 2008. He had watched them performed in the past competitions and had competed with them for two years, he knew the standard from this glee club was high. Being a lead singer in Dalton gave him some confidence, but singing for the New Direction was entirely different thing.

The New Direction asked for souls in their every performance, because, as Blaine quoted the head teacher of the glee club, “people don't just sing songs, they sing for their happiness, their sadness, their fear or even their anger. Every single song seeks for its existence and so do human beings. By singing it, we have to do it right.” And for Blaine, he did not begin singing because he enjoyed it.

He sang, because it protected him away from his fear.

After the birthday incident, home had been a strange and horrifying place to stay. In his room, he would close the door, walked into his wardrobe and close that door too. In complete darkness, companied with screams and shouts from his mother, he began to sing. At that moment he realized darkness was not so scary anymore. In the darkness there were nothing to be seen, nothing to be heard and nothing to be felt but only his voice to sooth the insanity below him. Ever since then the nights had been his safeguard when his mother was asleep. The odd attachment to night and darkness had only grown stronger as he grew up.

“Next please! Umm, Blaine Anderson?” A shout called from front stage.

It was his turn after a splendid performance from a girl who sang her version of River Deep- Mountain High. He did not pay any attention for the song but from the reaction of the casting crew he knew that girl had set the bar even higher.

For now, it was his moment to show what he could do. Darkness was his guard from the reality, but eventually, he had to walk out from his angel, grow his wings and shine under the wild spotlights. Here he stood, against his fear, he would sing till he was the victory.

“Yes!” Blaine stepped out from the red curtains.

The spotlights were harsh to his eyes. Everything was a blur except strong white lights. He gazed at the crew, which some of them were chatting and some were doing their own things. But they all quiet down when the head teacher called out his name.

“And what're you performing today?” The head teacher asked.

On his left sat a male student. He was wearing a sharp yellow shirt that made him stood out from the crowd. With his sleeves up just above the elbows, he also had a purple scarf hung around his neck. The outfit was perhaps something Blaine would never wear, but it looked good on the body. Just as his eyes moved the focus to the face of that student, he found himself stared into a warm smile of a familiar face.

Kurt.

He gave a second to adjust his feeling.

“I Have Nothing,” He looked to the boy, “by Whitney Houston.”

“Alright, start when you're ready.”

Kurt never left his gaze on Blaine. He kept his faint smile on as if he was wishing him luck. Blaine walked up to the piano and sat down, his finger pressing against the white keys lightly. He closed his eyes and inhaled.

c88;c88;c88;c88;c88;

The same day after school, Blaine was in the library once again. He chose his usual seat and opened his notes. As a Monday afternoon, there was far less students in the study hall than it was in Dalton. For some reasons, students here hated the library so much. It was almost described as the place for losers, the defeated, nerds that had no life outside of school. Blaine would not mind if anybody called him nerds, he did not care. All he cared for was today's audition.

Did he do well? Did he impress the group? If he didn't, he would be lost in McKinley. The glee club was the only reason he transferred, and nothing more. Being alone in this town, he wanted something hard to hold grip on, no more loose sand on the ground.

A shadow cast on his notes, covering the light for Blaine to read; he looked up and saw Kurt standing in front of him.

“Kurt?”

He watched the boy sat next to him. “Well, hello Blaine.”

“Hi.” Blaine cleared his throat.

“You did very well back then.” Kurt admitted. “It was touching and beautiful to hear.”

Blaine unconsciously rubbed his forehead as he listened to the compliment coming from a lovely voice. He could feel the temperature of his body getting hotter.

“Thanks, it really means a lot to me.”

Kurt eyes twinkled. “I think I should introduce myself properly. Last time I wasn't in my best shape.” He laughed. “Umm, my name is Kurt Hummel. I'm a senior here and I'm in the glee club. So, who are you, Blaine?”

It was always a fascinating question for Blaine to think about out of those three words, ‘who are you'. Sometimes Blaine would avoid questions like these so he could try to stay out of a world he did not want to enter, but for most of the times he could easily make up a background. Today, however, under Kurt's magic spell, he was anxious about how he could answer to that.

“Okay.” Blaine said followed with a chuckle. “I'm Blaine Anderson, a senior too... Actually I have just transferred to McKinley.”

“Oh!” Kurt said excitingly. “Well then do you know anybody yet?”

“No. Umm, I think this is why I've been in the library every afternoon. I don't even study this hard.” He scratched his hair and explained.

“Right, this is perfect!”

Perhaps sensing it was not very nice to say, he immediately corrected himself.

“I mean, this is perfect because I can show you around.” He stuck the tip of his tongue out as to cover the strangeness. “I'm sorry, sometimes I just don't speak with a filter.”

Blaine laughed. “It's okay.”

“What are you studying now?” Asked Kurt.

“Nothing particular.”

“Good, then pack your bag and come with me.” He stood up and said to Blaine.

Blaine did what Kurt told him to. They walked out of the library and let Kurt led the way. Behind him, Blaine watched Kurt's back moved as he walked. He was not big, but muscular in his size. The khaki skinny jeans showed his perfect lines. It might seem off when Blaine described Kurt's walking as elegant, but Blaine just could not stop looking at him. His heart was bumping hard against his chest and he could not resist the attraction at all. Blaine narrowed his eyes, concentrated on Kurt's back; he imagined things that would never happen between him and Kurt.

“Okay. So I think you know that area well, since you're in the library all the time.” Kurt looked around. “Maybe I'll show you the area outside the canteen? I could use some coffee, assignment night.” He rolled his eyes as he mentioned his homework. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Blaine shook his head.

“Good, come this way.”

They took a left turn and opened the canteen's door. The canteen was closed but there were still a couple of students sitting at the table, hanging out with their friends. Kurt walked toward the coffee machine and inserted a coin.

He turned around to Blaine and asked. “Have you tried the coffee from this machine yet?”

“Nope.” Blaine answered.

“You should, it's actually pretty decent.” He suggested as he took the cup that was filled with boiling hot cappuccino.

“I might as well try now.” Blaine took a coin out of his purse, but Kurt got his first and inserted one for him.

“Oh Kurt, I should give you back the-“

“No need, save your dollar. It's on me.” He sipped on his coffee.

“How nice of you, thank you.” Blaine smiled and watched the coffee came out.

There were laughing and noises of school bags hitting on the metal table behind them as the other students were leaving the canteen. Now there were only two of them left, and somehow the air had turned thinner for Blaine to breathe.

“Try it.” Kurt encouraged.

Blaine put his mouth on the spout, carefully sipped on the hot coffee. Boiling liquid was still his least favourite, but he thought he should give it a try.

“Oh god.” Surprised, Blaine looked to Kurt who was now amused by the reaction.

“Pretty good, huh? It tasted just like water.”

“Very funny.” Didn't think he would fall for the joke, Blaine would applause to Kurt only if he did not have the coffee in his hand.

They then walked to the next door.

“Outside of this door, it's a place called wonderland, or simply what we called the stairs, are you ready?” Kurt turned his back to the exit doors and held onto the handles.

“I'm born ready.” Blaine replied, try his hardest to match with Kurt.

“Alright.” Kurt pushed the door open. “After you.”

He stepped out and breathed on the fresh air. Finally his mind was refreshed after being inside of the building all day long.

“It's not really wonderful, but it's better than the library, I'd say.”

“Yeah, and the sun is out.” Blaine said.

They sat down at the nearest table. The metal was warm after being in the sun for the whole day. Blaine put down his awful coffee.

“So you said you were new.” Kurt had both of his hands holding the cup.

“Yes.”

“Are you from Lima? Or outside Lima?” He asked.

“Outside of Lima. I transferred from Dalton.”

“Dalton?”

Blaine watched the shocked face from Kurt. Not believing what he had just heard, he asked again.

“You really are from Dalton?”

Blaine laughed in amusement. “Yeah.”

“Why'd you want to come here? I mean, it's Dalton!” Kurt leaned closer to the table.

“It's going to sound absurd, but don't laugh. I came here for the glee club.” Blaine defended himself. “You guys have a wonderful glee club and I just couldn't resist.”

Kurt watched Blaine explained himself, but laughed anyway. “That is a brave move. I wouldn't if I were you, my dad would tear me apart if I did.”

Blaine looked down, smiling.

“Oh wait, I remember you! You were the lead singer from Dalton on regional, weren't you?”

Blaine nodded.

“How do your glee friends think about this though? Wouldn't they be upset that they've lost such a great singer like you?” Kurt looked to Blaine, hands playing with the lid.

“It's alright, we didn't get along anyway.”

“That's a shame.” Kurt sighed. “But I have a feeling that you'll get super along with us, that is, if you got in. I'm sorry, mister Schue made our lips tight for the results.”

“But again,” he quickly added on, “you did very well, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.”

Gave a faint smile, Blaine replied. “I hope so.”

The conversation died out slowly and Kurt distracted himself to look around. Blaine, on the other hand, in between the moments of silence, he had his eyes drew to Kurt's, studying the delicate features that he had never seen on a boy. Just that split second, he realized he had seen Kurt before.

“Umm, Kurt.” He called. “Is there any chance you did a solo on the regional? The songbird, maybe?”

“Yeah I did in fact, but that was like two years ago.”

His eyes shone like he had found the treasure from the sea. “You – you changed so much, Kurt. I remembered you just looked a little boy back then, I swear.”

“Right.” Kurt laughed awkwardly. “Puberty, that's what it does.” He joked. “Look at you, you're hotter than I recalled you as too.”

Once again Kurt let his words slipping out of his mouth before he realized it, he cleared his throat. “I mean, you know... more handsome.”

Now his face was blushed, and Blaine found it to be adorable.

Kurt moved his eyes to Blaine's clothes. White cardigan over a red shirt and navy pants, it looked fashionable, but under a weather of eighty degree, he wondered if Blaine felt hot. Just as he opened his mouth to ask, a friend of his came to him.

“Mercedes!” Kurt turned around to meet the voice.

“Rachel and I are going now. Are you coming?”

“Yeah, of course.” He answered. “Wait, let me introduce Blaine first. Blaine, this is Mercedes, and Mercedes, Blaine!”

“Nice to meet you.” Blaine stood up to shank hands as Mercedes did the same.

Kurt put on his bag, one hand on his eyebrows, glared at Blaine against the Sun. “I guess we have to end here now. We should catch up next time.”

“Definitely.” Blaine agreed.

“Alright. I'll see you around. Bye.” Kurt waved and left with his friend.

Blaine watched Kurt to be completely out of his sight before he left the stairs. Their conversations had been lovely, but left him so undone. He wished the time were longer, because he could not have enough just to hear and watch Kurt talks.

These empty feelings.

Blaine breathed heavily and put his hand on his right arm.

Kurt was different to anyone he had ever met in his life. He was charming, optimistic and had been very kind to him. But could he return the same thing? Back in Dalton he had stayed away from other's business, isolated himself away from the living, but here came Kurt, who was starting to melt his heart little by little.

Those empty feelings.

He sipped on his coffee, which had already turned cold. The taste was terrible, but he wasn't going to put it to waste.

“Kurt.” He whispered.

Found himself smiling like a fool, he checked his watch. It was already 5.30 when he left school.

He hurried home.

He had to hurry before the shadow came out.