“I'm seriously having trouble breathing right now,” Kurt whispered.

“This is the last moment before we know. And after we open those envelopes, it's going to change our entire lives, no matter what's in it,” Finn said.

“No matter what happens, we're all here for each other,” Rachel nodded as Finn opened his envelope.

“I didn't get in.”

Kurt pressed his eyes shut. He knew that Finn was a longshot to get into Pace, but that didn't make it any easier when he saw his brother's dreams crashing down around him.

Rachel patted Finn's arm, saying “It'll be okay.” Finn didn't react to the gesture, but Kurt would not have blamed him for brushing her off right then. How exactly was it supposed to be “okay”? Finn had no plan, no dream left other than following Rachel to New York and bringing her diet cokes.

It was Kurt's turn to open his letter. He mentally prepared himself to reign in his reaction, not wanting to cause Finn and probably Rachel any pain. He had been a ball of nerves for weeks, but truth be told he had very little doubt after his audition. It had been absolutely perfect, and even Rachel had said he was at his best. Kurt knew that if he didn't stand in his own way, nothing else could stop him.

He read the letter four times before saying anything, not able to fully believe the words on the page. It slowly sunk in, and he became aware of two pairs of eyes trained on his face. “I didn't get in... I didn't get in,” he said in a hushed voice.

Rachel took the letter from Kurt's hands and read it herself, like she couldn't believe it either. Finn placed a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder, the pain of the moment and the solid contact bonding the two boys even further. “Your turn, Rachel,” he said. Rachel turned to the stool and picked up her own envelope, turning away from the boys to read it.

As she turned back around, Kurt felt his insides twisting. He knew before she said anything.

“I got in.”

Kurt felt like he was drowning. His breath was hitching but the oxygen didn't seem to be making it through his lungs. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. This was wrong. This was meaningless and pointless and stupid.

He blinked and remembered that this was his friend, this was Rachel, and he was supposed to be happy for her. They all had agreed to be there for each other. He turned the corners of his mouth into the closest semblance of a smile he could possibly manage while his heart was being ripped to shreds.

“Congratulations, Rachel Berry. You deserve it.” Kurt wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug, willing the tears not to fall. Kurt resisted his strong desire to pull away from Rachel, who was now crying too. He transferred her to Finn's arms and bolted from the room.

He needed to find Blaine.