Kurt watched himself in the mirror as the object thrust in and out of his mouth. He pursed his lips around it slightly, then relaxed them.

His cheeks tensed and shifted over his cheekbones as he did so, and he watched the way it altered the angles of his face. He considered which looked more “sultry.” He noted that his lips were pinking up slightly from the abuse.

He poked the object towards the back of his throat, gagging dramatically when it actually made contact. His gag reflex was a lot stronger than I would have expected. Freaking fantastic, he thought to himself, going back to thrusting the object back and forth at a steady pace.

Moving the object faster, Kurt tried to stare seductively at himself in the mirror. Unfortunately, this version of his “sexy face” was no more or less awkward and unappealing than his previous efforts.

Kurt sighed, spit the toothpaste out into the sink and wiped his mouth. “This is hopeless,” he announced to his reflection, before trudging to bed and flopping down on the mattress.

* * * * *

“Is something bothering you, Kurt?” Blaine asked through slightly narrowed eyes, tilting his head thoughtfully and looking at Kurt with a probing, concerned expression.

Kurt looked at Blaine, then back down at his lap, toying with the coffee cup in front of him. It's not fair for him to give me those looks. I can't resist it when he looks at me like that. His eyes shine two shades lighter. “No, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well, that's all,” Kurt replied, taking a sip of coffee while still avoiding Blaine's eyes.

Blaine pursed his lips in thought and took a sip of his own coffee. “I'm not sure I buy that, Kurt. This is about the other day, isn't it?”

Damn him, damn him so hard, Kurt silently cursed the boy who knew him so well. Kurt's eyes widened as he flashed back to the embarrassment of the previous afternoon. He took a deep breath and paused before replying. “Well, yes. I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I know you were just trying to help. I think I'm beyond help, though.” Kurt took another sip of coffee, his face screwing up in disgust with himself.

Blaine chuckled softly, and drank from his cup again. “You aren't beyond help, Kurt,” he said after swallowing. “Just don't try so hard.”

“That's easy for you to say. You have it, and I don't, and that's a problem. Did you see the way those girls from Crawford County Day were looking at you? We're lucky they didn't try to tear you into pieces so each one could have a souvenir. I, on the other hand, looked like I was in pain, as you put it.” Kurt scowled, looking at his hands. The comment hung in the air, and it still stung. The performance was just an excuse, since he had performed sexual songs before without thinking twice. Blaine's opinion was the only one that really mattered.

Kurt didn't want to look Blaine in the eyes anymore, and he didn't see the flash of regret that crossed them before Blaine responded.

“Don't be so hard on yourself. I still think you can pull it off if you work on it. But it's just one song for one competition, so don't worry so much,” Blaine said, regaining his dapper facade.

* * * * *

“This is insane,” Kurt muttered to himself, letting out a breath and pressing his eyes shut before popping them open again and double-clicking on the browser icon.

After his confrontation with Blaine a few days ago, Kurt had given more thought to Blaine's prior suggestion of doing internet research to learn about sex and increase his comfort level with sexiness. Although, at the moment, Kurt was very uncomfortable indeed.

He started with a search for basic sex information for gay teens, but quickly became overwhelmed with blunt facts on diseases, protection and risks. The clinical approach made him feel even less sexy, like that was possible.

He sighed and closed that browser window, opening a new one and drumming on his keyboard thoughtfully. He decided to check out some porn. Maybe I can find guys who looks as “obviously gay” as I do and imitate what they're doing, Kurt thought.

The first click unleashed a flood of pop-ups flashing across his screen. Kurt cursed softly and rushed to close the most terrifying ones, continuing to the site. Let's try “hot twinks take it all,” Kurt thought, clicking on a link. He had been called a “twink” once or twice by aggressive closet cases;

Kurt's eyes went wide at the array of pictures popping up on his screen. He scrolled through page after page, clearing his throat at some of the more shocking images. Kurt was very tempted to freak out. He tried to forget that they were all people, with mothers who probably wouldn't approve of their babies getting naked on the internet.

“Is he wearing blush?” Kurt muttered aloud. Perhaps his own naturally rosy-cheeked complexion wouldn't be as much of a detriment as he had thought.

Almost all of the boys in the pictures were completely shaved, free of pubic hair. Kurt wasn't ready to even think about doing that.

His eyes settled on a photo of a young man with narrow hips and broad shoulders, kneeling and orally pleasuring a well-endowed man who was only visible from the waist down. Something about the boy's eyes and jawline reminded Kurt of himself. He analyzed the picture, trying to decide what was sexy about it.

Nothing much, really, Kurt thought. The boy looked uncomfortable overall, though the expression on his face was enthusiastic. His lips were stretched wide and his throat bulged. Kurt gasped as he realized what the bulge signified. He noticed that his own erection was straining at his boxers. I guess it is sexy after all, but it has less to do with how he looks and more to do with what he's doing, Kurt thought. He remembered his experiments with the toothbrush and winced. Maybe there was a way to work on that.

His eyes drifted to a banner ad at the top of the page. An enormous dildo filled the entire width of the screen. Flashing text invited the viewer to browse their selection of toys. Oddly tempted, Kurt moved the mouse and clicked on the ad.

That was a mistake. The ad redirected him to an online sex shop, the front page covered with pictures of couples enthusiastically enjoying their various offerings. Judging by the photos, the shop sold sexy costumes as well. And butt plugs. Huge, intimidating metal butt plugs...

Kurt panicked and slammed down the screen of his laptop. His cock throbbed and ached, seemingly protesting the sudden departure of the images. He screwed up his courage and opened the screen again.

The laptop flashed to life, his browser window still open. Partially covering his eyes, Kurt navigated to the “non-vibrating dildos” section and clicked.

The “demonstration” photos were gone, but rows and rows of dildos in every shape, size, color and material filled the screen. Kurt grew overwhelmed as he tried to think critically about the selection, finally clicking on a moderately-priced, purple silicone dildo adorned with glittery swirls. He moved swiftly to the checkout screen, not wanting to lose his nerve.

After making his purchase, Kurt shut down his laptop and stretched out on his bed. His erection was still bothering him, not having abated. The thrill of doing something so naughty only made it worse, even though the images were no longer teasing him.

Kurt tugged off his shirt and lay back down on the pillow with his right arm behind his head, his left hand moving across his chest. He played with his nipples, then ran his fingertips down his stomach. Fluttering his eyes closed, he tried to call to mind some of the images from his internet “research.”

Guilt and shame washed over him as he thought about the boys in the photos. It was one thing to objectively study the images to try and imitate them, and another thing entirely to deliberately think about them while touching himself. Kurt thought about how desperate he'd have to be in order to let someone take those kinds of photos of him. They were probably all on drugs.

Kurt sighed and screwed his eyes firmly shut, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. This wasn't working, and he still needed release. His mind floated to where it really wanted to be.

Deep, intense hazel eyes framed by long, dark lashes and brows. Wild curls tamed into place but threatening to spring free. A firm jaw, olive skin and luscious-looking lips. A bright, friendly smile.

Not to mention, a nicely toned body, with bulging arm muscles and surprisingly chiseled abs, nothing like the unappealing “twinks” on the websites. Kurt had been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Blaine's body when they were cleaning up the suds after the disastrous warehouse performance, and he treasured the mental picture.

Kurt even liked that Blaine was a little bit shorter than himself. He wasn't sure why. Was shortness a turn-on? Maybe, but it probably was just because... it was Blaine. His best friend, Blaine, who was so perceptive in some ways but so oblivious in others.

Kurt shuddered as he began to stroke himself, tweaking his nipple hard with his other hand.

* * * * *

Back in Westerville, Blaine was returning from an evening workout at the gym. He stripped and stepped into the shower, turning on the water and relaxing as he was enveloped in warmth.

Working out had been a welcome distraction, but even still it had been difficult to keep his mind from wandering to thoughts of pink cheeks, soft lips, a delicate jawline and a perfect, clefted chin.

Now, however, as the hot water washed over him, he allowed himself to fantasize.

He was left to imagine the body Kurt had to be hiding under all of his clothes. Blaine had never been lucky enough to catch an actual glimpse, as Kurt was far too guarded for that. Even when they were cleaning up the warehouse together and Blaine had stripped to his undershirt, Kurt had only taken off his blazer, even leaving his tie in place. However, where the suds had dampened Kurt's shirt and made it cling to his arms, Blaine could tell that he was anything but scrawny.

Blaine imagined long, lean dancer's muscles accenting Kurt's tall frame. He remembered the tight pants Kurt used to wear before he donned the Dalton uniform, so he could picture what Kurt's legs and ass might look like without any clothing at all.

Blaine leaned against the wall of the shower and groaned. Kurt was quickly becoming his best friend, but did he have to be so distracting? Blaine decided to give in to temptation and fisted his cock slowly, the water still running over his body.