March 1, 2012, 5:21 p.m.
Little Secrets: Chapter 3
E - Words: 3,799 - Last Updated: Mar 01, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: Mar 01, 2012 - Updated: Mar 01, 2012 415 0 0 0 0
When Blaine started watching the boy, he never imagined that it would take a toll on his schoolwork, but apparently he was wrong. Over the past week, Blaine's found himself watching the boy more and more, the guilt still present deep in his gut of course, and when he was watching Kurt he found that he really couldn't focus on his homework. And when Blaine was finished with the creepy hobby he adopted, he found himself not in the mood to do that much homework and knocked out on his bed.
He feels terrible, obviously. He's letting Kurt consume his every thought. It's not normal to practically sit and spy on your next door neighbor, no matter how cute he may be. He's tried to talk about it with his friend, Wes, when he was at school. Although he did try to sugar coat the whole stalker aspect of it.
"So you are infatuated with your neighbor? And you've never even met him?" Wes asks, the Monday morning after Blaine's move. They're in the senior commons, and Blaine is working on an essay that he should have had finished last night, but alas didn't finish because of the blue eyed boy from next door, who was doing yoga. Who the hell does yoga at eight in the night?
"I'm not infatuated," Blaine says, scribbling out a sentence. "I think he's cute, but that's hardly an infatuation."
"Blaine, you spy on this kid. That's either infatuation or you have a desire to kill him," Wes reasons, and Blaine looks at him with wide eyes.
"I don't want to kill him."
"Blaine, have you thought about the fact that you spying on your neighbor through the window is beyond creepy?"
"Oh, I've thought about it," Blaine says. He spends nights thinking about it. Not all the time sexually. Half of the time his dreams are consumed by Kurt In the throes of pleasure and the other half is him thinking about how damn creepy he is.
"Then why haven't you stopped?" Wes asks, taking a drink of his coffee.
"I can't," Blaine admits, twisting his pen nervously in his fingers.
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I can't stop thinking about him, Wes. I don't think it's healthy. I think about him all the time. I know it's beyond eerie, but every time I'm in my room I find myself looking over to see what Kurt's doing. I know I should stop, but I can't," Blaine groans, slamming his hands on the table frustratingly. "I just want him to close his damn blinds so I can leave him alone."
"Oh my god, Blaine, you're a stalker," Wes says, clearly trying to tease Blaine, but Blaine is not in the mood to be teased right now.
"Can you not see that I am a mess, man?" he says exasperatingly, and Wes drops his smile.
"Sorry, dude. But, have you tried…closing your own blinds?"
"Well, I…no." Hmm, why hadn't Blaine thought about that? It was such a simple solution.
"Then do that. Maybe with time, you'll stop looking at the kid and get over your obsession."
"I am not obsessed," Blaine snaps, picking his pen up again. "Now, if you don't mind I'm going to finish this damn essay."
"Isn't that essay due today?' Wes asks curiously, and Blaine looks up to give him a cold glare, effectively answering Wes's question.
"Right. Sorry…why didn't you finish it earlier?"
"I am not going to start this again," Blaine says definitively. "Can you please leave?"
Wes rolls his eyes pointedly, and makes to get up, dragging his chair through the linoleum exaggeratedly.
"I'll see you later, Blaine," he says, walking out through the door.
Blaine sighs heavily to himself, trying to push any thoughts of Kurt out of his head and focus on his essay. Grades are more important he thinks to himself. Grades are more important.
"Don't worry, Blaine. You'll just close your blinds. Close you blinds and it'll fix everything.
Oh god, he hopes it fixes everything.
When Blaine gets home that afternoon, he rushes straight up to his bedroom. It would be foolish to call after his parents since they're both still working. His mother is a first grade teacher, and that usually keeps her out of the house until after 3:30 or 4:00. She usually gets home either ten minutes before or after Blaine does. And Blaine's father was a lawyer, which means that he usually gets home right before dinner, and occasionally he manages to get home before five.
Blaine doesn't really mind it when it's just him alone in the house. It gives him an opportunity to sneak snacks from the kitchen or sing as loud as he wants. Of course, he doesn't really mind it when his parents are home either, but when his parents are home, the house is usually loud, thanks to his mom. And sometimes Blaine really likes how quiet it can get around here.
Blaine makes it to his room, and after throwing his bag onto the chair by his bed, goes to his window. Kurt's room is still empty and before Blaine can regret his decision, he closes his blinds, throwing the room into semi-darkness.
Blaine looks around the room. It's suddenly taken a darker mood. It no longer looks open, and bright like he likes it, and that can not do. He doesn't want to waste electricity by having to use the lamp on his desk when it's not necessary. Sighing to himself, Blaine opens the blinds back up, and just like that he's still in a pickle.
Maybe he can close the blinds when Kurt's in his room, or when he's doing something enticing. Maybe he'll just figure it out later.
Blaine walks out of his room and makes his way to the kitchen, figuring that he might as well start dinner before his mom gets home.
He looks around in the fridge to see what tickles his fancy, and his eyes spot a pack of turkey meat that his mother must have put in there for tonight.
"Hmm, turkey meat," Blaine mumbles to himself, grabbing the pack and placing it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Spaghetti," he announces to no one in particular. He starts grabbing various pots and pans out of the cupboards and puts some water to boil for spaghetti and puts a saut� pan on the stove to start heating up while he seasons the meat.
When he's halfway done with cooking the meat he hears the front door open and the clack of heals sound from the hallway, signaling his mother's return home.
"Blaine?" Eve calls out, the sound of her heals coming closer.
"I'm in the kitchen," Blaine answers, stirring the meat with one hand and the pasta with the other.
"Hey you," Eve greets, walking into the kitchen. "What are you making?"
"Spaghetti and turkey meat," Blaine replies, leaving the meat alone for a bit while he moves to drain the pasta. "Can you get started on the sauce?"
"Sure," Eve says, going to the refrigerator to grab the ingredients she needs. "How was school?"
"It was good," Blaine says nonchalantly. "I had a quiz in calculus today."
"Oh, how did that go?"
"I don't know, we get the results tomorrow."
"No, I meant, how did you think it went?"
"I thought I did good, but then again, I always think I do good," Blaine replies smugly, and Eve throws the washcloth at him.
"Overachiever," she teases, and Blaine sticks his tongue out. "I never imagined that I would meet anyone who enjoys calculus as much as you do."
"Well, you didn't meet me, you gave birth to me. There's a difference. And I like all of my subjects. I think normal people would call me a nerd," Blaine comments, setting the pasta aside and going back to the meat.
"Normal people would be jealous because you're going to go to a great college and they're going to probably end up going to a community college," Eve says, and Blaine sucks in a shaky breath. It is true. Blaine has always made sure to keep up a high GPA so that he can go to a great college like his parents did. His mom loves to remind him that he's going to go to places and Blaine always gets nervous about it. He doesn't want to jinx it by talking about it excessively.
"Hey, have you finished your Columbia application?" Eve asks, and Blaine stops stirring.
Oh shit. The Columbia application. That's what he was forgetting. He's been so busy thinking about Kurt that he forgot about his college applications.
"I'm taking that as a no…"
"No, mom, oh my god. I completely forgot to finish it."
"Blaine, it's okay. You have plenty of time. You haven't even gotten your SAT scores yet. You have time. Don't worry about it," Eve tries to soothe, but Blaine is already too worked up to be calm.
"No, but I want to finish them early so that I wouldn't have to be stressing over them later. Oh my god, mom!"
"Blaine, it's okay," Eve says sternly. "It's fine. I don't think the admissions office at Columbia is going to mind if you forgot about a day. They won't even know. And besides, I don't want you to rush your application. Take all the time you need, okay."
"But mom…' Blaine tries to argue, but his mother is having none of it. She wipes her hands on the cloth and grabs Blaine's face.
"Relax. You can do your application later. Actually, take the week off. You need to get your mind off of applications right now."
"But I can't take a week off!" Blaine cries. How can his mom suggest such a preposterous idea?
"You can and you will. Blaine, college applications aren't even due until a couple of months. I know you want to get this over with so it'll be less stressful, but it'll do you some good to take a break. Don't overwork yourself," Eve says, and Blaine has to admit she has a point.
"Fine, mother. As much as it'll kill me, I'll take a break. But only for a week. I have to work on twenty or so essays for the applications and I need all the time I can get.
"Twenty?" Eve asks, her eyes bugging out of her head. "Why so many?"
"Backups, mom. I don't know if Columbia will take me so I have to have backup schools," Blaine says, going back to the meat.
"Twenty though? It seems like a lot."
"Better safe than sorry."
"Hmm, you're going to get carpal tunnel you know."
"Not if I use my computer," Blaine reasons, and Eve nods thoughtfully.
"Hmm. So, changing the subject. I thought that we could go over next door and introduce ourselves to the neighbors when your father gets home," Eve says, and Blaine snaps his head to look at his mother. Going next door would mean going to Kurt's house and that would mean meeting Kurt and Blaine is not ready fro that to happen. Nope.
"Uhm, are you sure that's a good idea?" Blaine asks, trying to keep his voice even.
"Of course it's a good idea," Eve says, going to the cupboard to grab a sauce pan. "Why?"
"Well, I think that the neighbors are the ones that are supposed to come over to welcome us to the neighborhood."
"But I wanted to do something different."
"I say we should wait for them to come over. And if nobody comes then they're lousy neighbors."
Eve laughs, shaking her head. "Well, alright. But if they don't come over I'll be really hurt."
"I know, mom. They'll come. I hope," Blaine says hoping that out of all the neighbors to come over, Kurt isn't one of them.
When the pair get done with dinner, Blaine's mom goes upstairs to change her shoes and Blaine goes to his room to grab his homework to take it down to his dad's study. He cannot do his homework with Kurt in the room. He's already gotten distracted more than enough for the school year, thank you very much.
Blaine knows he's not supposed to be using his dad's study, but he desperately needs it. The only thing he sees out the window is Kurt's garden, and that is just fine with him.
Careful not to move his dad's things on his desk, Blaine sets his books down and gets to work, finding it a lot easier to focus when he doesn't have Kurt's room directly in front of his desk. Blaine finds himself whizzing through his calculus homework, and his Biology homework is almost effortless.
Blaine is nearly done with his homework when he hears the door to the study creak open.
"Blaine?" comes Michael Anderson's voice. "What are you doing in here?"
"Oh, uhm, doing my homework," Blaine says, closing his books. He can always finish upstairs.
"Why are you in my office?" Michael asks, setting his briefcase down onto the small leather sofa.
"Uhm…I just wanted to study down here," Blaine says, hoping that his dad didn't ask anymore questions.
Michael looks at him for a long minute, before shrugging and moving to open his briefcase.
"Are you done? I need my desk for my work."
"Oh, yeah." Blaine grabs his books and makes to exit the room, but his dad holds out an arm, pushing him towards the couch. "Aren't you going to eat dinner?"
"Yeah, I just have to work on a case and I'll be over," Michael says, putting some files on his desk. "Wait, I was actually going to look for you."
"What for?" Blaine asks curiously. He doesn't recall doing anything bad. What if the school called him and let him know of his sudden plunge in his schoolwork?
"I just want to talk to you…about boys."
Blaine furrows his eyebrows. Why would his father want to talk about boys with him? Usually that's a topic his mother covered.
"Boys?"
"Yes…about sex, more specifically," Michael clarifies, and Blaine nods. Oh god, this is going to be awkward he can tell.
"Uhm…why?"
"Because you're seventeen, and you're going to be wanting to have sex, and I just want to make sure that you know all you need to know," Michael replies awkwardly, and Blaine cringes a little bit.
"Uhm, dad, I don't think I'm going to be having sex with anybody anytime soon. I'm too focused on my studies," he says immediately.
"Either way. I want you to be prepared, just in case it happens spontaneously," Michael stares, sitting down next to Blaine on the couch.
"Dad, I think I'd rather talk to mom about this. I know that stuff like this makes you uncomfortable."
"No, no. I mean yeah I'm a bit uncomfortable, but your mom and I agreed that I should give you the…the talk," Michael says, rubbing the back of his neck. Something Blaine does when he's nervous.
"Okay…" Blaine repeats slowly, preparing himself for the inevitable embarrassment this conversation is going to bring.
"Okay…uhm…I don't really know where to start. Does gay sex entail the same things that straight sex does?" Michael asks.
"To my knowledge," Blaine responds. All he really knows about sex is the mechanics, which is more than likely what his dad is going to tell him. Blaine doesn't really have the heart to tell him though.
Blaine can tell that he's trying really hard here. It's been hard for him to accept the fact that someday Blaine sis going to have sex. With a man. And because of that he's distanced himself from him. Michael never really wants to talk about boys with Blaine, and every time Eve starts a conversation that begins with 'so Blaine how's your love life' or 'so I saw this cute guy at the store today…' Michael finds himself retreating from the conversation. It's hard for him, Blaine knows that, and the fact that Michael is here, actually trying to have a conversation with Blaine about gay sex is quite touching.
"Oh..oh well then. Uhm…what you need to know is that…safety is key, so use…oh my gods, I can't do this, Blaine. I'm sorry. I know you really want me to accept you and all that, and I do. I really do, but talking about sex is kind of awkward."
"Yeah, I know, dad. It's okay. Really. I actually know about gay sex," Blaine says, and Michael looks at him quizzically.
"You do?"
"Yeah. I kind of did some research."
"Oh thank god," Michael sighs in relief. "Sorry, I really want to talk to you, but that talk was going to be really awkward."
Blaine chuckles nervously, and places his hand over Michael's.
"It's okay, dad. Thank you for the gesture though. Really. I actually prefer it if we don't talk about my sex life…my nonexistent sex life," Blaine mutters. "It's not because it makes you uncomfortable…well it kind of it. I know that it's not your thing."
"Yeah. If it makes you feel any better I would be the same way if you were my daughter instead of my son," Michael admits, and Blaine stares at him.
"Really?"
"Really."
"So it's not awkward because I'm gay?"
"No. no, of course not. Blaine, I've accepted the fact that you're gay long ago. What I've been having trouble with is your sex life," Michael says, and Blaine smiles a little.
"My lack of one," he corrects, and his father chuckles.
"Is it okay to say that I'm relieved?"
"Yeah, you can say that. I don't really want a relationship right now. Or to have sex." that's half true. God knows how much he wants to sleep with the boy from next door. Oh god!
"Why not?" his father asks inquisitively.
"Well, I'm busy at school. A relationship would complicate that."
"Well don't say that. Just because you have a relationship doesn't mean that you'll fall behind in school. You're a smart kid, Blaine. You'll figure it out if you do decide to date."
Blaine furrows his brow. He doesn't understand. Is his dad encouraging him to go out and date? It sure sounds like that's what he's telling Blaine to do.
"Dad, are you telling me to go out and date?"
"What? Oh no. No, not if you don't want to. I'm just saying that you should think about it. Blaine, you're young. This is your chance to do all the wild and crazy things a teenager is supposed to do. Believe me, if you don't go out and have fun right now, you're going to regret it. I'm not telling you to go out and throw yourself around, but I'm saying that you should think about it," Michael says, turning his hand around so he can squeeze Blaine's.
Blaine doesn't really know what to say. He's always thought it was okay to not go out and stay in. it wasn't really an issue for him. But his dad telling him that he needs to go out and enjoy his youth is making him think. What's the harm in going out? Wes is always inviting him out to parties and stuff, but Blaine always declines saying he has homework when in reality he stays home and strums his guitar or plays the piano. He should really go out and live. If he does get into Columbia or any other ivy league school he's certain that the coursework is going to be extreme and that means that he's not really going to have a chance to go out and enjoy himself. It's a tough decision to make because Blaine does want to have fun he does, but he also wants to study and work hard.
"Blaine? What are you thinking?" Michael asks, after letting Blaine ponder what he said for a long five minutes.
"I…you're right. Dad, you're totally right. I mean I love studying, but I kind of want to have fun," Blaine says, and his father smiles encouragingly.
"Good. I want you to have fun. Clean fun, mind you, I don't want you going out and getting drunk every weekend and doing drugs."
Blaine laughs loudly, his face crinkling up just like it did when he was a boy.
"No, don't worry dad. I'm not that big of a drinker, and there's no way I would even do drugs."
"Good. You should go out with your friends this weekend. Oh, the next door neighbors have a son around your age, you should go see if you can befriend him."
Blaine chokes on his own spit momentarily. "Uhm, when did you meet the neighbors?" he asks in what's hopefully a casual tone.
"I haven't yet. Your mom said that we should wait for them to come to us, but I saw the boy walking into his house today. He seems like he'd be a good kid to befriend," Michael says.
"Oh."
"Yeah. He might be gay. I don't mean to stereotype, but he looked a little bit feminine. Maybe you should see if he'll go out with you," Michael notes, and Blaine snaps his head up. He's not mad at his dad, obviously, but why would he automatically assume that Kurt is gay. And that he'd be interested in Blaine?
"Oh, uhm…I don't know dad. I mean, I've never seen the kid so I don't even know if he's my type," Blaine lies, and god, his dad is going to know he's lying because Blaine's always been a terrible liar.
"You should go over there then. Who knows he might be your type," Michael says, making to stand up. "Uhm, you should go and eat dinner. I'll be in right now, let me just…"
"Yeah. Uhm…thanks, dad. For the talk. It was what I wanted to hear, and well…thank you," Blaine says, standing up and wrapping his arms around his fathers waist. Michael stiffens slightly before hugging Blaine back, even pressing a kiss to Blaine's forehead.
"You're welcome, son," he whispers. "Okay, go eat."
"Uhm, dad? I was wondering if I could…sit here. And talk while you work. I know you don't really like it when people are in your space, but I want to…bond more," Blaine asks tentatively. He knows his father hates it when his work is interrupted, but he has a sudden urge to talk with him and ask him about everything.
"Sure, son," Michael says, surprising Blaine.
"Really?" he asks, looking up at his dad with his big hazel eyes.
"Yeah. It's fine. You can even help me organize some of these files."
Blaine's heart jumps up excitedly. His dad is even going to let him help with his cases.
"As long as you do it right," Michael teases, handing Blaine a file. Blaine takes it, giggling excitedly, feeling like a ten year old again.
"I will. I promise."
Michael smiles and pulls up a chair right next to his at the desk. "So, what do you want to talk about?"