Hoping for the impossible
KurtToMyBlaine
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Hoping for the impossible: Chapter 4


E - Words: 8,730 - Last Updated: Nov 30, 2014
Story: Complete - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Oct 28, 2013 - Updated: Oct 28, 2013
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Author's Notes:

Oh and btw! I made the poster for the band Puck's friend made if anyone wants to see it. Nothing special, just thought it would be fun :P Just remove

 

https:// pbs. twimg. com/ media/ BRzCVVFCUAAqpBA .jpg

 

Hopefully I'll see you all soon again xx

Chapter 4

 

Kurt would be lying if he said he didnt get disappointed that Blaine didnt come, but he would get another chance. It wasnt like he liked Blaine, but he was looking forward to seeing him after the concert.

 

Kurt gets in the car with the others and checks his phone while they are driving home. He has 5 new messages and 3 missed calls, and all of them are from his dad.

 

11.30pm

 

I told you to stay home! Get your ass back here right now!

 

11.47pm

 

Kurt, I mean it!

 

12.01am

 

If you dont get home right now, you get another week

 

12.31am

 

Fine you just got a new week, hope it was worth it

 

12.49am

 

Kurt, get.home.right.now!

 

"Fuck…" Kurt mumbles and tries to read them while the others sing to the radio in the background, celebrating.

 

The owner of the club had been so pleased with them that he had gotten them a regular gig. They would play a concert every Friday and get a lot of money for it. This could make them really popular and maybe even get a record contract.

 

"Guys!" Kurt shouts over them and they all stop, "thanks to this, Im grounded for a week, which means I probably cant come next Friday."

 

"Thats just perfect," Dylan mumbles, hands loosely grasping at the wheel.

 

"Cant you just sneak out?" Puck asks.

 

"Of course I can, but then its going to be another week…"

 

Everyone sighs, but Kurt tells them he can figure something out. They arent going to miss a concert because of his stupid dad.

 

Kurt gets out and takes his guitar with him when Dylan stops the car outside his house. He nods a goodbye to them and walks inside, noting that all the lights are on in his house.

 

Burt comes down the stairs as Kurt slinks through the front door, "what is that you dont understand when I tell you not to leave the house?"

 

Kurt rolls his eyes, "I know, but tonight was really important! We played so good that we got a regular gig there."

 

"You did the one thing I told you not to do," Burt says angrily, ignoring the good news, "so you get one more week on punishment, and you better not do anything this week."

 

Kurt just walks pass him and up to his room, not in the mood to talk anymore. He can hear his father sighing before getting to bed again.

 

oooo

 

Blaine had another dream. He hated that he had it, but he cant deny how good it made him feel. And everything feels more real now that he knows what it feels like when Kurt touches him. Blaine knows he said he would never do anything with Kurt, but he doesnt know if he can stay away. He would never sleep with him, of course. If that happens, Kurt would be gone before he could even wake up the next day. No, he isnt going to sleep with Kurt, but that doesnt mean he cant do a little something with him.

 

Blaine smiles a little to himself. Hes done dwelling on this. He needs to figure out who he is, and the best way to do that is to explore.

 

Blaine frowns a little at that word, explore. That doesnt sound good, sounds like hes just going to sleep with a ton of people until he finds a good one, one that makes him feel... something more. But he needs to figure out who he is and its not going to help just sitting on his butt all day and not doing anything but think. No, he was at the point that he needed to act.

 

Blaine gets dressed and walks downstairs to make some breakfast. He remembers that his parents are gone all weekend and for some reason, he feels like thats good omen for initiating his new objective to find himself.

 

His phone buzzes and Blaine picks it up.

 

10.30am

 

Hey man, thanks for last night, was really great! So are you busy tonight? Its a party at Robs! Cool if you could come –N

 

Blaine thinks for a second. The good thing is that Kurt would maybe be there, but the bad thing is that so will many of Blaines friends. He couldnt do anything with Kurt at a party where his friends would be there. But he wasnt staying home. He said so himself, he is not sitting on his butt all day just thinking.

 

10.37am

 

Sure, Im in

 

Blaine was trying to find an outfit for tonight when the doorbell rings. For a second he was afraid it was Kurt, but then he remembers that Kurt probably doesnt know where he lives. But when he opens the door, he is surprised to find Rachel standing there.

 

"Rachel? What are you doing here?"

 

"Can I come in?" Blaine nods and she walks inside, "sorry to just come here without calling, I can go if youre busy."

 

"No its fine, whats going on? Are you okay?"

 

"Well… " she starts, "I just wanted to come over to see if we are okay. I miss you… You hurt me, but I meant what I said, I still want to be your friend."

 

Blaine smiles and hugs Rachel, "miss you too."

 

Rachel pulls away, "So can we be friends? And talk like friends?"

 

Blaine frowns a little but nods.

 

"Good. So can I ask you something? And if you still have feelings for me, then say no. I dont want to hurt you."

 

Blaine is a little nervous right now, but he tells her the truth, "Rachel I really care about you, but not more than friends, so you can tell me."

 

"Okay… You know Finn right?" She asks, looking down.

 

Blaine frowns, "yeah of course I do."

 

"Well you know after the concert at school? After the show, Finn told me he likes me… And I said I was with you, so of course I didnt do anything."

 

Blaine keeps quiet, not sure what to say.

 

"But I know something was wrong with us and I would lie if I said I didnt like Finn. So we spent some time together when we were still together. Nothing happened! But now when we arent together anymore, I want something to happen."

 

Blaine is still just looking at Rachel, not sure what to say. Blaine didnt like Rachel that way, he knows that, but he didnt think Rachel would move on that fast. But what was he doing? Thinking about guys?

 

"Thats… Thats great, Im happy for you."

 

Rachel looks surprised, "really? Its okay if you hate me."

 

"Rachel, I broke up with you because I cheated on you with a guy that I might even like, you are the one that should be mad at me. I want you to be happy."

 

Rachel smiles a little, "like him, huh?"

 

Blaine rolls his eyes, "I dont know…"

 

Rachel laughs, "youre blushing so I think you do."

 

Blaine blush even more, "I dont like him like that! I just… I dont know…"

 

"Think hes hot? Want him?" Rachel says with a little teasing smile.

 

Blaines grow and hits Rachel in the arm playfully, "Stop!"

 

Rachel chuckles, "you cant deny it."

 

Blaine sits down on the couch with a sigh, "it doesnt matter anyway."

 

Rachel sits down beside Blaine, "why not?"

 

Blaine looks at Rachel like the answer is obvious, "have you seen him? He wont commit, he just fools around with people. I dont do that, I want more than that. Im not stooping to his level."

 

Rachel sighs too, "yeah I guess youre right," she lays her head on Blaines shoulder.

 

"Yeah… So are you going to this party tonight? If you are we might have to pretend dating again…"

 

"No, I have plans," Rachel says simply.

 

Blaine nods, "okay thats good."

 

xXx

 

Rachel helped him finding an outfit for tonight. Blaine wasnt sure about this, but Rachel was very sure. "This will make him go crazy!" she had said and forced him into the outfit. Maybe it will make Kurt crazy, but Blaine isnt so sure he wants to make him crazy. Okay, maybe a little crazy. Enough to make out with him, but nothing more! He still not doing anything more than making out with Kurt.

 

Blaine is driving to the party, trying to ignore his tight pants Rachel had found. He was sweating and trying not to think about what he was driving to. He is positive Kurt is here and he plans to not talk with him. He is scared what he will do if he does. His friends are going to be all around the house.

 

Blaine parks his car behind another car. It looks like its going be very many here tonight. He gets out and walks towards the big white house. A couple was making out on the porch outside of the main entrance. He cant help but look for a second before he quickly moves his eyes towards the door when the girl looks at him with a strange look.

 

He opens it and sees people drinking and dancing all around the house. He walks around, smiling at people as they fist bump with him. He might be popular, but that didnt mean he liked it. He doesnt like to be the center of the attention.

 

"Wheres your girlfriend?" someone asks and Blaine just pretends he cant hear him and just walks towards the drinks.

 

He isnt going to talk with Kurt tonight, but that didnt mean he couldnt get drunk. Not so drunk he wouldnt think straight, but enough to have a good time.

 

Two beers down Nathan come over with a big smile, "hey! You made it!"

 

Blaine smiles and finds a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses, "I did! Now come with me, lets have some fun."

 

Nathan frowns a little, but follows Blaine. They sit down at a table where its a little bit quieter so they can hear each other.

 

"What are we doing?" Nathan asks and sits down.

 

Blaine fills up the glasses and gives one to Nathan, quirking a brow as a playful grin graces his face, "playing Never Have I Ever."

 

oooo

 

Kurt walks into the party and sees Quinn and Puck standing by the alcohol. He walks over and says hello.

 

"Hey buddy!" Puck says, clearly a little drunk, "didnt think you would come."

 

"I snuck out," Kurt tells him and finds something to drink.

 

Puck and Quinn walks away to dance and Kurt looks around, drinking from his beer. Dylan comes over after a few minutes and is smiling at him.

 

What is wrong with this guy? Kurt thinks as Dylan stands closely beside him.

 

"You want to dance?" Dylan asks.

 

"What is up with you?" Kurt asks, sick of this act.

 

"What are you talking about?" Dylan frowns.

 

"You. One day you are all over me and the next day you dont look at me. And of course I dont have a problem fooling around with you, but Im getting sick of your behavior. So either we can fool around or you can be mad at me."

 

Dylan looks at him a little surprised before finally saying something, "Sorry… I-I just have some stuff going on, but its nothing to do with you" he says, not looking at Kurt, "but I dont want to stop" he says and moves closer to Kurt, "I like friends with benefits" he whispers and kisses Kurt's neck.

 

"Good. So only friends with benefits, nothing else. Just like before."

 

"Perfect," Dylan says and pushes Kurt against the wall, kissing him.

 

Kurt can see someone giving them a ugly look so he pulls Dylan with him upstairs, not wanting to starts a fight tonight.

 

"Look at that, the fags are going upstairs to fuck," someone says behind them when they are walking upstairs.

 

Dylan sighs but continues walking up, but Kurt turns around. Guess there will be a fight tonight.

 

The guy is not the same one as last time, but its one of his friends. Hes wearing his letterman jacket, which is stupid since theyre not even at school. This jacket is their status; if they dont have it, theyre nothing.

 

"What did you say?" Kurt asks the taller guy.

 

The football guys smirks, "sorry, if you want a threesome, you have to ask someone else. Im not a fag."

 

He turns around to his two others teammates and they all laugh.

 

Kurt laughs too, sarcastically, and they all stop laughing. They have probably heard what happened to the other guy Kurt hit.

 

Dylan has come down and is trying to push Kurt away, "Kurt just ignore them."

 

"Yeah listen to your bitch-" the guy says and suddenly a loud sound of a fist hitting a jaw enters the room. The guy falls a little backwards but quickly finds balance again. He looks at Kurt with an angry look before hitting him in the face. Kurt almost falls, but quickly attacks the guy, managing to his him two more times before someone pushes him away.

 

"Kurt, stop!" Dylan says behind him, holding him. The other guy is lying on the floor, apparently too weak to get up. Boxing was smart, Kurt thinks as Dylan drags him upstairs.

 

Dylan pulls him to the bathroom and orders him to sit on the toilet. He does, but he still wants to get down again to hit that fucking face one more time.

 

Dylan finds a cold, wet cloth. He brings it to the side of Kurts face. Kurt wince, but relaxes more.

 

"What were you thinking?" Dylan asks, looking at Kurts face.

 

"Oh sorry, should I just have ignored it like you did?"

 

"You didnt have to hit him," Dylan says and washes the blood off the cloth.

 

"I dont just ignore stuff like this," Kurt says and Dylan just sighs. "You can go, I can do this myself," Kurt says and takes the cloth away from Dylan's hand.

 

Kurt looks at himself in the mirror and can see his lip bleeding and on his left side jaw is dark read. "Shit…" Kurt mumbles as Dylan walks out.

 

After the bleeding stops, Kurt walks downstairs again. He sees Blaine and another guy drinking shots so he walks over to them, ready to have some fun.

 

oooo

 

Nathan lifts an eyebrow, "why are we playing Never Have I Ever?"

 

"Because its fun!" Blaine says simply, taking hold of the giant bottle of liquor hed found in the kitchen. "Okay! I have never had sex. So if you have, you have to drink."

 

None of them drinks and Nathan is about to ask another question when someone interrupts.

 

"That could always change," someone says behind Blaine and he hears its Kurt.

 

Kurt sits down too, holding a shot glass, "mind if I play with you guys?"

 

Blaine is about to say yes, but Kurt takes the bottle from Blaine and fills his shot glass.

 

"I have never cheated," Kurt says and smirks at Blaine.

 

Blaine glares at him, but drinks his glass. Kurt drinks too, which isnt a surprising.

 

Nathan goes next, looking a little uncomfortable, "ehh.. I need to go to the bathroom," he finally says and walks away.

 

"And then there were two," Kurt says, looking at Blaine.

 

Blaine takes the bottle away from Kurt and drinks from it. He drinks down more than he should to stay sober-ish, but right now he couldnt care. He had to keep his mouth busy so he didnt try to do anything with Kurt. He looked amazing in that dark grey t-shirt with the hem barely skimming the top of his skinniest skinny jeans, giving a glimpse at the hips he longed to grab. Blaine wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes off Kurt and go from there.

 

Blaine gets up after drinking almost half the bottle. He needs to get away from Kurt and he doesnt know how much longer he can take being near him without being with him.

 

Blaine keeps drinking all night, even though he said he wasnt going to get drunk. He ends up drinking more than he ever had in his entire life. He sees no reason to stop now when hes on a roll.

 

Trying to keep busy, Blaine goes over to the crowd on the makeshift dance floor and dances with them. Well tries to dance; its hard when everything is spinning and you cant see the floor. As he shakes all over the floor, girls start rubbing against him and he tries to get away from them - their presence only making his hazy mind more confused and increasing his longing for Kurt to be grinding against him rather than these girls. He manages to shift away from the girls and slowly makes his way outside for some space.

 

Its dark, but for some reason he can see a lot better now. The fresh air seems to somehow help him feel a moment of clarity rather than the suffocation that he felt at the party surrounded by people he barely knew. A voice is shouting his name behind him so he turns around. Kurt is walking towards him, his hips swaying perfectly.

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kurt says.

 

Before he can really process that Kurt just asked him a question, Blaine pulls Kurt close to him and kisses him on the mouth, just like he had done at the concert, practically sucking the air from his lungs at the strength of the kiss.

 

Maybe its because he is drunk, but Blaine didnt care about appearances or pretenses anymore. He needs Kurt and nothing is stopping him. He cant pretend anymore.

 

"Fuck I want to you badly," Blaine whispers and drags Kurt with him to his car.

 

"You cant drive, baby," Kurt says and pulls Blaine to the passenger side of Blaines car.

 

Kurt gets in too and before Blaine realizes that theyve left the party, theyre stopping at Blaines house. Blaine felt so tired before Kurt found him outside of the house, but now he is wide awake. He doesnt know how he got there, but he figures he must have given directions to Kurt through his tired and drunken haze.

 

Blaine pulls Kurt with him inside the house after closing the front door with a deafening bang and attacks his lips again.

 

"Are your parents home?" Kurt asks, following Blaine upstairs, gripping tightly to Blaines hand as he attempts to stumble his way to his room.

 

"No," Blaine says and kisses him again as they reach the top of the stairs.

 

"I knew you couldnt deny this anymore, baby," Kurt mumbles drunkly and kisses Blaines neck.

 

"Shut up and kiss me," Blaine says and almost falls down on the floor.

 

"Fuck youre drunk," Kurt says as he pushes open Blaines door and shoves him in the direction of his bed, laughing to himself.

 

"Thats how you like it, right? Drunk and needy…" Blaine bits his lips and runs a finger down Kurts chest.

 

Kurt mumbles something before he kisses Blaine again, pulling off their shirts. He sits down in Blaines lap and starts thrusting down against Blaine. Blaine moans loudly and falls down on his back, thrusting up to meet Kurts hard movements.

 

"Fuck, youre hot," Kurt says and touches Blaines naked chest, his body is on fire.

 

Blaine moans and feels his pants opening and giving more room for his hard, aching cock. He sighs at the feeling and lifts his hips so Kurt can pull down his pants and underwear.

 

"Im going to fuck you senseless baby, you will feel it for weeks," Kurt whispers darkly in his ear and licks it.

 

Blaine would be disgusted if he wasnt drunk right now, but he finds himself hardening and moaning at the words.

 

His promise to himself is forgotten.

 

Kurt pulls off his pants too and Blaine cant help but staring. Shit, thats hot. Kurt was longer than Blaine and Blaine feel like coming just the thought of that thrusting inside of him, going so deep.

 

"Fuck…" Blaine sighs, throwing his head back and spreading his legs, "just fuck me, I need you."

 

Kurt finds something in his pocket before he teasingly circles a finger around his hole. Blaines breath gets uneven as he waits.

 

Kurt presses two fingers inside of him and Blaine feel like shouting. Tears form in his eyes and he tries to not think of the pain. Is it supposed to hurt this much? Hes never done this, he has no idea what it should or shouldnt feel like.

 

"I told you, you were gonna feel this," Kurt says and touches himself, sighing as his hand maneuvers lightly around his dick.

 

Blaine swallows and watches Kurt, licking his dry lips at the sight. He has never seen anything like this. Kurt looks like this because of him.

 

Kurt adds another finger and this time it doesnt hurt as much. Kurt pulls out his fingers and puts on a condom. Blaine tries to watch it all, but his stupid eyes cant focus. His head is spinning and his skin is still on fire.

 

Kurt lies on top of Blaine and kisses him hard on the mouth. After a minute or two, or maybe it was longer, Blaine isnt sure, Kurt pulls away.

 

"Ready?" Kurt asks.

 

Blaine can barely say yes before Kurt push inside him. Blaine gasps out loud and grabs Kurts shoulder for support.

 

Blaine would think Kurt was going to wait, because shit this hurts, but Kurt just slams his hips hard towards him; his long, thick cock going deep inside him. Blaine tries to tell Kurt to wait, but he cant get it out. It hurts, but Blaine doesnt want him to stop. And a few more thrusts, it doesnt hurt anymore.

 

Kurt is moaning over him, sweat dripping off his body and landing on Blaines. Everything was making Blaine hotter; the sound of Kurts movements, the heat, the feeling of how deep Kurt can get, Kurts muscles, Kurts face… everything was beautiful.

 

It feels like everything is in slow motion as Kurt moves gracefully over him. Blaine cant take his eyes off Kurt as the other boy bites his lip and squeezes his eyes together in pleasure. His hands moving all over his sweaty body, down his hips and down his legs that are around Kurts hips. The feeling of Kurts hair between his fingers, pink and brown, feel amazing and Blaine want nothing more than to stay here forever.

 

Blaine sits up a little, wanting to cling to Kurt, but suddenly a feeling better than ever rushes through him.

 

"Oh fuck!" Blaine shouts and thinks he is about to come.

 

"You like that baby? I told you I could make you feel good."

 

"Fuck yes! Right there!" Blaine moans embarrassingly loud, thrusting back so Kurt hits that spot every time.

 

"Fuck baby, you look so hot, so good just for me," Kurt moans and holds Blaine against the bed.

 

Blaine smiles at the words. Did he mean that?

 

Blaine feels powerless and all he could do was moan and tell Kurt how good it felt, because it did. It feels amazing and Blaine doesnt want it to stop. He could never imagine it feeling this good.

 

Kurts thrusts are hard and fast and if Blaine wasnt so drunk and feeling like passing out soon, this would hurt as hell. But it was amazing. Everything felt so amazing and Blaine feels like crying. Kurt kisses Blaine again, his tongue ring running along his own tongue. Blaine never liked piercings, but he finds out he loves it now. The feeling of the metal made it so much better.

 

Kurt runs his hands down Blaines body as he thrusts hard inside of Blaine. Chills run down his back and neck with Kurts touches, making Blaine bite his lips.

 

Blaine gasps again, "I-Im coming," he gets out. Kurt's cock hits that spot over and over again and the feeling is just too overwhelming for him. Blaine shouts out as he comes hard all over his stomach. He opens his eyes and watches Kurt thrusting in and out of him a few more times before moaning out loud as he comes. Blaine feels like coming again, that was a beautiful sight.

 

Kurt pulls out and falls down beside him on the bed. He takes off the condom and throws it on the floor. They breathe in silence for a long time before everything goes dark.

 

oooo

 

Kurt looks over at Blaine and can see him sleeping. He looks over at the clock and gets up; its time to get home.

 

He puts his clothes on before getting out of the house. He recognize where he is and starts walking home.

 

One thing he had been right about, Blaine was a hell of a good fuck, maybe one of the best. And even though he was a virgin, Kurt was thoroughly impressed at Blaines sexual capabilities. Kurt smirks and feels himself getting hard again of the thought of Blaine begging under him.

 

Finally he gets home and all Kurt want is to get up to his room so he can get off. Thinking so much about Blaine has made him extremely hard again. Fuck, he needs that ass again.

 

He only get inside the front door before, yet again, Burt has busted him. He snuck out tonight too, and up until now, it seemed like he wouldnt get caught. But he was wrong.

 

"Where have you been? And what happened to your face?" Burt asks, his angry eyes looking over Kurt.

 

"Party and I hit this fucking guy," Kurt says, not bothering to lie.

 

Burt sighs, "Are you drunk?"

 

Kurt had been drinking, but he isnt sure if he is drunk or not, "nope, too busy having sex." Okay, maybe he was a little drunk, or else he might not have said it like that.

 

Burt freezes for a second, surprised his son actually said this. He doesnt say anything, so Kurt moves towards the stairs.

 

Burt stops him, "Im done, Kurt, I cant do this. I love you, but this is going too far. If you want to screw up your life, fine, but I cant do this anymore. You dont listen to me, so why bother? You want to be alone? You got your wish, Im going to leave you alone."

 

Kurt is surprised to hear this, but his dad was telling the truth, he wanted to be left alone.

 

"Your mother would be so disappointed of you right now," Burt adds and Kurt feels like something hits him in the stomach.

 

"Dont you dare say that!" Kurt says, ignoring the stupid feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

"Its the truth! Do you think your mother would want this for you? Not going to school, drinking all the time, having sex with guys you barely know, and fighting with every guy you cross. Do you think anyone is proud of you for that?"

 

"You have no idea what Im dealing with!" Kurt says, forcing his tears to stay behind his eyes, "and why dont you understand that this is who I am?"

 

"She was my wife Kurt! Of course I know how it feels like to lose someone you love," Burt says with a hurt look, "And this is not who you are Kurt, no one has to be this way."

 

"You can get a new wife; I can never get a new mom."

 

"I love your mom Kurt. That will never change."

 

"Well she is dead so who cares? You can go get married and have children you can be proud of. And I can live my life just like I want, because I dont give a fuck about anyone!" Kurt shouts, trying not to feel anything.

 

Nobody says anything so Kurt runs up to his room, slamming the door hard after him.

 

He lies down on the bed, trying to calm down. Why did Burt say this? He knows Burt isnt proud of him and if his mother would have been here, she wouldnt have been either. But why does that matter? His mom isnt here anymore and in a year hell move away from his dad.

 

Fuck him for saying that. If he cant be proud of him for just being who he wants to be, than thats his problem. Kurts not going to care.

 

oooo

 

Blaine wakes up slowly, but the minute he does, he wish he hadnt. It feels like an elephant hit him in the head. He groans and tries to get up without passing out. For some reason his ass is hurting as he sits up. He winces and tries to remember what happened last night. He probably just fell on his ass at the party. He was very drunk, so it wouldnt surprise him if he had. And damn, he was drunk last night!

 

Blaine looks down and notice he isn't wearing any clothes and he never sleeps naked. He always has something on while sleeping, but it looks like he didnt want that last night.

 

He shrugs and gets up to get to the bathroom. He stops though when he steps on something weird on the floor. He looks down and stops breathing. A condom… a fucking condom is on his bedroom floor. And even worse, its used…

 

Blaine feel like passing out. He still cant breathe as he looks at it lying on the floor. He sits down on the bed again, turning white when his ass throbs in pain again. There is a condom on his floor and his ass hurts… no, it has to be something else. What happened last night?

 

He remembers going to the party and drinking with Nathan, the shots, and Kurt coming over. Kurt. Blaine thinks harder and gets pictures in his head that he wishes he didnt get. He remembers Kurt in his room. Blaine stops breathing again when he remembers Kurt lying naked over his naked body. He remembers everything now. He hates to admit that being with Kurt and how he felt was...is was amazing. He loves and hate that it felt as good as it did.

 

"Oh my god! No-no-no-no! This isnt happening!" Blaine says to himself getting up because his fucking ass hurts! "Why did you do this? Why are you so fucking stupid to do the one thing I said I would never do? I cant…this cant…" Blaine gets out, tears running down his face.

 

"This isnt happening," Blaine mumbles over and over again to himself as he lays down on the bed, hugging a pillow close to him.

 

The one thing he promised he would never do, he did. He had sex with Kurt, a person that sleeps with everyone and leaves them before you can even wake up the next day. And Blaine wasn't an exception! Yes, so, he might have thought he liked Kurt a little, but that is all gone now. He hates Kurt now and that will never change.

 

Blaine cries himself to sleep, never feeling dirtier than or as unimportant as he does right now.

 

xXx

 

When Blaine wakes up again an hour later, his head is a little better, but his body is numb. Probably from all the crying, Blaine thinks to himself as he gets up to go to the bathroom. He walks over the condom that is still lying on the floor. He feels like crying again, but holds it in as he goes into the bathroom and looks into the mirror. His eyes are swollen and red, his skin snow white. He looks like shit.

 

Blaine hates the way he feels right now; he feels disgusting and repulsed at his behavior but something in him still loved what they did last night. He had never felt anything that incredible before and Blaine hates that his first time was with Kurt. He wish he had saved it for someone that he loves and that loves him back, and that was defiantly not the case here. He just threw his first time out the window to a guy that didnt care about him and the opportunity to share that with someone he loved is now gone forever.

 

Blaine stops thinking about it when a tear runs down his face for what feels like the millionth time that day. He takes a long shower before going back to his bedroom, ready to get dressed and try to tackle the day and everything else it will throw at him. As he nears his closet, he notices a jacket on the back of his chair and picks it up. It wasnt his and he knows exactly who it belongs to. Kurt fucking Hummel.

 

Blaine sighs and throws it on his bed, not wanting to see or touch anything that belongs to him. He looks at the jacket for a while, thinking about what to do with it. He could either throw it away, Kurt deserves that, or he could take it with him on Monday and give it to him. But then people will ask why he has Kurts jacket. He could also go to Kurts house. Then he can speak his mind about what happened as well. He really wants to tell Kurt that they are done, no matter how amazing it was last night and despite that lingering feeling that he had never been so close to anyone before.

 

Blaine decides to go to Kurts house, he really needs to talk with him. He pokes around on his Facebook app on his phone and oddly finds his address in a chain between him and one of the guys from his band. After looking it up in his phone, he realizes its only a few minutes away from Blaines house. Rather than eat and try to level his head after a hard night of drinking, he foregoes food and heads straight to Kurts house - preferring to deal with this rather than put it off any longer.

 

He gets the jacket and walks to the car. And in a few minutes, not long enough for Blaines liking, he pulls up to Kurts house. He takes a deep breath before going out, jacket in hand. As he walks to the front door he tries to figure out what to say. The drive over hadnt been long enough for him to sort through his thoughts. He knows hes angry at Kurt and just wants to hit his stupid face, but a little part of him just wants to stop caring and sleep with Kurt again so he can get that amazing feeling back.

 

He knocks on the door and waits for Kurt to open the door. A man opens the door though and Blaine worries he found the wrong address.

 

"Hello," the man says with a smile on his face, but clearly trying to figure out who Blaine is.

 

His smile gets a little tenser though after getting a closer look at Blaine.

 

"Hey… sorry, does Kurt Hummel live here?" Blaine says unsure.

 

As Blaine says Kurts name, the mans face changes completely. His smile is gone and it looks more worried.

 

"Yes he does," he says worried, "is everything okay?"

 

It sounds like he knows the answer though. Blaine remembers his red eyes and pale face and regrets coming here today. Now Kurt will see hes been crying.

 

"Can I talk to him?" Blaine asks, avoiding the mans question who Blaine thinks is Kurts father.

 

The man nods and lets Blaine come inside, shouting after Kurt. Blaine looks around while he waits. Its a nice home. He hears Kurt opening a door upstairs and suddenly gets nervous. He wishes the man who opened the door could go away though; he cant say what he wants to say while he is listing.

 

"What?" Kurt starts and comes down the stairs. He stops when he sees Blaine and a smirk forms around Kurts face, "well hello there baby."

 

Kurt has a big bruise on the left side of his face. He hadnt notice that last night, but thanks the person that did this to him. He would have done it himself if someone hadnt done it before him.

 

"I didnt know you would be ready for round tw-" Kurt continues, but Blaine throws him the jacket, hard. It looks like it hits Kurt hard in his chest and Blaine hopes it hurts. Kurt looks a little surprised at Blaines behavior. "Thanks baby," Kurt says finally, his smirk back on.

 

Blaine rolls his eyes, not sure what to do since the man is still standing beside him. Blaine looks at the man, not sure if he can ask for some privacy. The man probably knows whats going on though, by the look he is giving Kurt.

 

"Can… Can I speak with him alone, sir?" Blaine carefully asks the man.

 

The man looks at Blaine for a bit before nodding, "behave," he tells Kurt before walking out of the room.

 

"So lets get upstairs, baby, my dad wont hear anything if youre quiet. From last night, Im not sure you can do that though, but I could-"

 

"Shut the fuck up," he tells him with an angry voice and walk closer to Kurt, pushing him a little.

 

Kurt stops and frowns, surprised again.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what youve done?" Blaine says, maybe a little too loudly.

 

Kurt rolls his eyes, "Baby, its not that big of a deal."

 

"Stop calling me that! And maybe its not a big deal for you, but did you ever think it was for me?"

 

"You didnt complain last night!" Kurt points out.

 

Theyre practically screaming at each other now. Blaine knows the man in the other room can hear them clearly.

 

"I was drunk! I couldnt even stand on my own two feet and you took advantage of that."

 

Kurt doesnt say anything, just rolling his eyes again. This just makes Blaine angrier.

 

"You come here and make me all confused. I actually thought I liked you," Blaine says, laughing at his stupidity, "but the only thing you wanted was my body," Blaine continues, feeling tears threatening to spill over the edge. "I had a girlfriend before you decided to ruin my life, I was happy before you came. You throw yourself at me like Im just a toy you can play with when you feel like playing, and Im so sick of it!" a tear runs down his cheek now, and he hates himself for showing Kurt this, "you sleep with the whole fucking school, thinking it will make you cool, but guess what, it doesnt. It just makes you a whore, and I cant believe I fell for your games. But Im fucking done! You make me sick!" Blaine ends, breathing heavily.

 

Damn it feels good to get that out, Blaine thinks.

 

Kurt steps closer, angry too now, "you know what? Yes I was flirting with you so I could sleep with you. But do you remember who started the kiss at the concert and last night? That was you. So you can hate me all you want, but we both know you loved it and want to do it again. You are just angry because you fell for my game so fast. You can blame this as much as you want on me, baby, but its not my fault you are such a prude!" Kurt say.

 

"Shut up!" Blaine pushes him again.

 

This time Kurt pushes back and Blaine pushes him back hard. Kurt is about to push again, but the man gets between them.

 

"Thats enough!" he says loudly.

 

Kurt mumbles something before he runs back upstairs, slamming the door behind him, clearly very angry.

 

Blaine calms down before looking at the man, "Im sorry about this, I didnt mean-"

 

"Dont worry about that!" he says, "but are you okay? I couldnt help hearing what you two were fighting about."

 

Blaine gets a little red at the thought of this stranger hearing about them having sex last night.

 

"Im fine," Blaine lies, not wanting to share his feelings with this man.

 

"I can see youre not," he says calmly, "I heard what you said and I cant believe Kurt would do this to you," the man sighs and shakes his head, "Im sorry," he says.

 

Blaine shakes his head too, "Its not your fault."

 

"It is, hes my son, I should try harder so he doesnt do stuff like this."

 

"You cant control everything he does," Blaine says.

 

"Im Burt by the way, Kurts father."

 

"Blaine," Blaine says and takes Burts hand.

 

"Sorry we had to meet like this," he says and Blaine nods.

 

"Well I should go, dont want to ruin your day anymore," Blaine tries to smile, but fails.

 

"Again Im sorry for what happened, Im going to talk to Kurt," Burt says as Blaine walks out the door.

 

Blaine nods and says goodbye.

 

oooo

 

Burt walks into Kurts room and looks down at his son on the bed.

 

"Save it, I dont want to hear it," Kurt says with a sigh, looking at his phone but not really looking at anything.

 

"Ive been trying to understand what is going on with you Kurt, and I have tried to just accept that you had a hard time deal with everything, but this… I never thought you were like this. What are you thinking?"

 

Kurt sits up, "you dont know what happened, so just stay out of it."

 

"I heard most of it downstairs, Kurt."

 

"Thats not half of whats happened," Kurt tells his dad, anger edging into his tone again.

 

"Has this happened before?" Burt asks and Kurt frowns, "have you done this to more people?"

 

Kurt rolls his eyes, "are you asking if Ive slept with guys before? Yes I have, whats the big deal?"

 

"This is not the same, Kurt, the guy clearly didnt want this."

 

"Did you hear what I said downstairs? He was the one to start it last night."

 

"Wasnt he drunk?"

 

Kurt sighs, "yes he was, but I was too. I cant help hes an idiot when hes drunk. This is not my fault."

 

"You have to apologize to him and try to fix this," Burt orders.

 

"Why?" Kurt asks, not understanding why they are making that big of a deal about this.

 

"Do you really have to ask that?" Burt asks, folding his arms.

 

Kurt sighs, "fine!"

 

He isnt going to apologize to Blaine though; he didnt have anything to apologize for. Blaine was just as into it as he was. He just doesnt want to admit he is gay.

 

Burt nods and walks out of Kurts room.

 

Kurts phone vibrates and Kurt picks it up, seeing he got a text from Quinn.

 

Are you hungry? Can you get out of the house?

 

Kurt sends a text back.

 

I can get out yes and sure, what are you thinking?

 

Come to Breadsticks

 

Kurt agrees and gets out of bed. He gets down and informs his dad that hes going out. Burt might try to say something to him, but Kurt slams the door before he gets the chance to say anything. He drives to the restaurant and looks for Quinn once he arrives. Shes easy to spot with her now dark red hair and Kurt walks over, noticing that shes alone. He would have thought the others would come as well.

 

"Hey," Kurt says and sits down.

 

Quinn looks up and smiles, "glad you came."

 

"Whats going on?" Kurts asks as a waitress comes to their tables.

 

They order before Quinn answers, "nothing I just thought we could eat some dinner. Youre in the band, and I barely know you outside of your killer guitar skills."

 

Kurt nods, "okay… what do you want to know?"

 

Kurt isnt sure whats going on here, Quinn never talks about getting to know each other. Shes a nice person and shes cool to hang out with, but its never been on their agenda to become good friends. Its not something Kurt likes though, getting close with people. There isnt a point in doing that; everything only gets messed up.

 

"I dont know," Quinn shrugs, "I just want us to know each other, be friends. Like I said, we are in the same band."

 

"Okay..." Kurt frowns a little, but agrees with what she is saying. It will help the dynamic if they can talk about things other than music or their songs.

 

Kurt doesnt really know any of them. He just sleeps with Dylan and plays with all of them when they have to practice. They dont talk much at school, not much more than a hello.

 

They start talking about stuff, nothing special, just music and different things they like. Its actually nice to have someone to talk with; Kurt thinks but hates himself for thinking that.

 

"So whats up with you and Dylan?" Quinn asks, smirking.

 

Kurt chuckles, "Nothing. Well nothing more than physical," Kurt says, smirking too.

 

Quinn gets a little bit more serious, "I totally dont care if you guys fuck each other, but just dont hurt him okay? He has some bad experience with stuff like this before."

 

Kurt sits up, curios now, "really? Like how?"

 

Quinn hesitates for a second before explaining. "Last year he and this guy, Paul, were together and Paul cheated on him. He got pretty hurt, so I guess thats why he only wants sex from you. But I know Dylan so he will, if he hasnt already, get feelings involved in this."

 

Kurt sighs, "thats the reason I never get feelings involved, it never ends well. And if he has feelings, then thats his problem; I cant do anything with that. He knows I dont do feelings or love or any shit like that, so if he cant handle that, he should walk away."

 

Quinn nods, "yeah of course, but dont make him quit the band too."

 

Kurt nods and Quinn changes the topic, "anything happened today?"

 

"You could say that," Kurt says and shakes his head and their orders comes.

 

"What happened? Your dad?"

 

"Not only him. I slept with this guy last night after the party and he cant accept that hes gay. He came to my house today and fucking yelled at me," Kurt shakes his head.

 

"Isnt that like normal for you?" Quinn asks with a teasing voice.

 

"You would think so," Kurt says, joking back.

 

They talk more and Kurt cant help thinking: It actually is nice to have a friend.


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