Chapter 10

Kurt lies down on the bed with a thud, breathing heavily. He's had a lot to drink, but he wants more, he can still remember and feel the pain.

“Shit…” Dylan breaths out and chuckles, “that was amazing”

He texted Dylan after he left school. Blaine thinks he is a heartless guy, so why not be one? No one else seems to think otherwise anyways.

Kurt nods, but not agreeing completely, and finds a smoke. Dylan throws it away though and moves on top of Kurt this time. He grins down at him and Kurt sighs.

“Once is enough, I need more to drink”

Dylan's face drops and he lies back down beside Kurt, looking up at the ceiling.

“What's up with you?” Dylan asks as Kurt finds his smoke on the floor, “Why do you even text me when it seems like you don't want to see me?”

Kurt rolls his eyes, “here we go…”

“Yes here we go because I'm sick of this. You might be fine with this, but I'm not”

“I told you how this works, why didn't you back out when you knew it was too much? I can find someone else easily”

Dylan shakes his head, “maybe because I want to be with you”

“I don't do that and you know it, so just give it up” Kurt says simply and thinks to himself that he will never do relationships and feelings again.

Dylan nods, “yeah and how is that working for you? Why did you text me?”

“Because… because I didn't have anything better to do”

Dylan shakes his head, “you are feeling something too, and I know it”

Kurt rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Yeah he is feeling something, hurt and annoyance, “trust me I don't. You were just the first name I saw on my phone”

He can see how disappointed Dylan is and the hurt in his eyes, so he decides it's time to get going.

“I'm sorry, okay? I just can't do this anymore, but I want to be your friend and bandmate. I like you as a friend” Kurt says before putting his clothes on.

Guess he isn't that heartless after all. Even though he doesn't feel the same for Dylan, he is a good friend. And they are bandmates after all.

Dylan nods and Kurt stumbles his way out, taking a beer with him. He can hear Dylan sigh behind him before someone wraps an arm around him. Kurt tries to push away, but it's no use. He looks up and sees Dylan helping him downstairs.

“You can let go now” Kurt says when they get to the front door.

“Let me drive you home, you can't drive.” Dylan says and gets them outside.

“No, I'll just walk; I don't need anyone's help”

“Come on” Dylan says, “I'm your friend right, that's what friends do, we help each other”

Kurt knows Dylan is rubbing this in his face right now, but he doesn't bother to argue, so he just let's Dylan drive him home.

When the car stops, Kurt gets out, giving a thanks to Dylan. But yet again, Dylan is holding him as they walk towards the front door.

“Okay, seriously, you can't go inside”

Dylan frowns, but walks inside with Kurt, “you can't have friends over?”

“Not the ones I've fucked and don't want my dad to know about, he thinks I'm still with-“

“Kurt”

Kurt looks up at Dylan, but he is just looking uncomfortable, so it wasn't him who said his name… He turns around and sees his dad leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

Kurt stands up right, “hey, dad”

“Don't even bother, I heard everything”

“Everything, everything?” Kurt asks; a little hope still left he didn't mean everything.

But that gets crushed fast when his father nods. Burt sighs slightly and thanks Dylan for bringing Kurt home. After that, someone else's hands are supporting him and Kurt wishes it was Dylan instead.

“How many times are we going to do this?” Burt asks as they walk upstairs.

“You don't have to do anything” Kurt mumbles back.

Burt nods, “so what happened?”

Kurt stays quiet, not sure what he is talking about.

“Blaine?” Burt pushes further and gets a little nod from his son, “did you get in a fight?” he asks and Kurt nods again.

He lies down on the bed and looks up at the ceiling, feeling his father lying down beside him.

“What was the fight about?” He asks, looking up too.

Is he going to sleep here? Did something happen to his bed?

Kurt hesitate, “him”

“What?” Burt questions; not understanding what he means.

Kurt sighs, “The fight was about him. We got caught at school and tomorrow everyone will know. Then suddenly Blaine is saying he doesn't really like me, I was just an experiment. And now he thinks he's not gay.”

No one says anything. It's quiet, just a car sounding from outside and the clock on Kurt's nightstand.

“It's for the best though; I'm not good at relationships or anything that involves feelings…” Kurt mumbles and falls asleep.

Xx

“Kurt…”

I sigh at the good feeling. My eyes are closed, but I can feel Blaine moving on top of me. I smile, happy to be here with him.

He gasps and I open my eyes, wanting to see his face. I stop, shocked. It's not Blaine, its Dylan. I don't move, just looking at him on top of me.

“Kurt, more” he mumbles “you know you want me”

He kisses me and I kiss him back even though I don't want to. I open my eyes when Dylan pulls away and am again shocked to find Tylor on top of me.

What is he doing here? He's supposed to be in Portland! What's going on?

Kurt tries to push Tylor away, but he just continues, moaning loudly.

A bright light suddenly appears for a second and I look towards the source. It's that guy… that guy who took the picture of Blaine and I. What is going on?

“Stop” I say, but he can't hear me, he just takes more pictures.

I try to get Tylor away from me, but Tylor isn't there anymore.

“Patrick?” I ask confused.

He grins, “I've missed you, babe”

I just look at him, confused.

“What did I tell you?”

It's Blaine, Blaine is here.

I look around desperately, trying to see him. There he is, looking at me with a blank look.

“Blaine… Please, I only want to be with you” I beg, but he just shakes his head.

I try desperately to get away from Patrick; Blaine is not supposed to see this.

“You're heartless, who would ever want to be with you?” he says.

Someone is kissing my neck and I try to get to Blaine, but I can't get away. I'm stuck.

“Heartless” Patrick whispers in my ear and licks it.

Blaine moves closer, looking at Patrick for a second before looking at me again.

“You only want one thing…”

“There are no us anymore, you're just a player, heartless player”

“I hate you”

Suddenly his mother appears, looking sad, “What happened to you?” she says with her soft voice, “I'm so disappointed”

“No!” Kurt screams out and sits up in his bed, sweat running down his body.

When he realize it was only a dream he lies down again on the bed with a deep sigh.

Suddenly the door opens and Kurt sits up again.

“Are you okay?” Burt asks worried.

Kurt nods, “yeah just a bad dream, sorry to wake you”

Burt comes in and looks down at his son. He sits down on the bed and Kurt sits up again. Kurt shivers; his wet shirt is cold against his body.

“Did you want something?” Kurt asks.

Burt nods, “we need to talk”

Kurt sighs, “Can it wait? My head is killing me”

“No, it can't. Kurt, this has to stop”

“What has to stop?” Kurt asks confused, swallowing repeatedly.

“You. Us. We can't continue doing this. There is something going on with you and there has been for a long time now and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm worried…”

Kurt looks down guilty, “I'm fine”

Burt shakes his head, “no you're not. You're coming home drunk every week, you sleep around. When you started being around Blaine, you got better, but now…” he stops and looks at Kurt, “Kurt, I'm worried about you, I'm worried something will happen. Maybe you should talk to someone?”

Kurt looks up, “what? No, I'm not talking to some stranger about my problems.”

“Okay, talk to me then, or a friend.”

“You don't have to worry about me, I'm f-“

“I am and you're not fine, if you are, why are you acting this way?”

“I… I…”

“Does this have something to do with your mother?” Burt asks softly, sounding like he is scared to ask the question.

Kurt hesitates and that's a good enough answer for Burt.

“Kurt…” Burt sighs, “you know it wasn't your fault, what happened to your mother-“

“I don't have to listen to this” Kurt shakes his head and is about to get out of his bed when Burt stops him.

“I think you do, you can't blame yourself for what happened to her.”

“She was coming to get me; of course it's my fault. If I haven't started a fight that day, she would still be here”

Burt looks a little confused when he mentions a fight, “yes maybe it wouldn't have happened that day, maybe it would have happened the next day. Maybe when she was driving to work or to the grocery shop it could have happened at any point or maybe it would never happen and she would still be here. We don't know that, but this is not your fault. It was an accident.”

Kurt takes in every word. He has had the same thoughts too, but hearing his father saying them makes it more believable.

“And you have to know that I will always love your mother, I will always miss her. That won't change. I know you don't like the idea of Carol and me, but just know that she will never replace your mom.”

Kurt nods, “I know”

They sit quiet for a while, Kurt letting the words sink in. Maybe Burt is right, it could have happened at any time. Of course he will always feel a little guilt and will always miss her.

“You started a fight?” Burt asks suddenly.

Kurt nods, “yeah… I got sick of the bulling”

“I'm sorry that happened to you” Burt says.

Kurt shrugs, “It's over, if someone as much as gives me the wrong look, I let them know”

Burt gives him ‘the look' and Kurt can't help but roll his eyes and grin. 

“Okay, we should get to bed again” Burt claps Kurt's leg and is about to stands up.

“Wait!” Kurt says and before he can stop himself, pulls his father closer and hugs him, “thanks”

He can feel Burt wrap his arms around him and nod against his shoulder. After a few seconds like this, they pull away and after a little smile, Burt walks out.

When the door is closed, Kurt lies down on the bed again. He looks up at the ceiling and thinks about what just happened. He never thought it would be good to talk about his mom with his dad, but it really was. It helped a lot.

What happened to him? He used to think love was something special and that he would only sleep with someone he loves. But after the accident, Kurt didn't see any point in believing that love was something special, because it would never last. Maybe that's true, maybe nothing really lasts. But he is not going to be afraid anymore. He would rather have a life with love that won't last, than any love at all.

oooo

For a second, just for a second everything is perfectly fine. Then the pounding in the head appears and memories returns from the back of his head, and everything is bad again.

Blaine groans and opens his eyes, trying to focus. It takes a moment to recognize the room he is in.

“Hey… How do you feel?”

Blaine slowly moves his head to the left, trying not to move too much.

“Be-“Blaine coughs, “been better” he says with a dry, tired voice.

Rachel nods, “we have to go soon…”

Blaine sighs, not looking forward to this day. What is he supposed to do when he walks into the school and everyone knows about him? He should just stay here and hide. Rachel can see if everyone knows about him and if everyone does, he can just hide here forever. Yes, this is the best way.

“I don't wanna go” Blaine says and looks up at Rachel.

He regrets that immediately, just moving his eyes makes his head hurt.

Rachel sits down on the bed, already dressed, “I know this is hard, but you can't hide here. And we don't even know if-“

“No, everyone knows, I'm sure of it” Blaine says.

Rachel sighs, “I'll be right beside you all the time okay? Come on, we need to go”

Blaine hesitates, but decides to go. He can't hide when he doesn't know what's going on. When he gets to school and everyone knows, he'll find a place to hide.

Blaine looks down at himself, “I can't go out like this”

“Luckily for you, you can borrow my dad's t-shirt and you have your jacket.”

When Blaine has changed, they are already late. They quickly get to Blaine's car. Rachel drives, since Blaine isn't able to drive just yet.

The school is getting closer. Blaine can see the parking lot. He isn't ready for this. He sees people walking outside and can't help but think that they all know. The whole school is in view now, only a few seconds now and they will see him.

Rachel parks the car and already someone is looking towards them. Blaine walks out of his car and more heads turns his way and they start to whisper.

“They know” Blaine says when Rachel comes to his side.

Rachel takes his hand, “I'm here for you”

If Rachel wasn't here, he wouldn't even be here right now. He would at least never go further than this, but Rachel is dragging him with her, so he doesn't have a choice.

Blaine isn't sure what he is more nervous about, all the looks and whispers or seeing Kurt. What is he supposed to do if he sees him? They broke up, so he doesn't need to talk to him. Maybe he should just ignore him; he doesn't want people to see them together, which only make this ten times worse.

Blaine looks around at everyone staring at him and swallows hard. They can't see him scared and vulnerable, he needs to be strong.

“Aw look at that, are you back together with your beard?” Peter from the football team teases.

“I don't know what you heard, but it's not true” Rachel defenses and some of the other guys from the football team laugh.

Blaine can't see Nathan or any of the guys that joined the glee club.

Peter finds his phone, “oh really, this isn't your boyfriend with another boy?”

Blaine looks down at the phone and sees himself and Kurt wearing only boxers. Blaine looks into the camera, scared. Kurt looks into it too, but he looks angry. 

Blaine looks down at his feet and Rachel doesn't say anything either. This only makes the others laugh.

“That's what I thought” Peter says, “oh, and we don't want any fags on our team so you have to quit”

This makes Blaine look up, “What? You can't kick me off the team, I'm the quarterback”

Peter smiles, “I can't kick you off, but I can make every practice a living hell. It's about time we get a new quarterback anyways, so do yourself a favor, quit the team”

Blaine is gaping at him, not able to say anything. He knows Peter and the others will do as he says. The only decent one is Nathan and the glee guys.

“You didn't tell me the picture was that bad…” Rachel says, still holding Blaine's hand.

Blaine sighs, feeling the freaking out stage is coming. Rachel seems to notice it too.

“Blaine, don't worry okay? We'll find a way. Let's just go to class and pretend that everything is okay. And after school, you are coming with me to glee practice before coming home with me again, okay?”

Blaine shakes his head even though he appreciates what Rachel is doing for him, “I don't want to go to glee practice with you… I'll just go home”

“No, you have to come. It will help, I promise.”

“I can't sing” Blaine lies.

“I know, but that doesn't matter” Rachel argues, “you can just sit and listen. Please, I need you to come”

Blaine can see how much Rachel wants this, why he isn't sure, but he nods. What better things does he have to do?

Rachel smiles and they walk to class, ignoring the looks.

Xx

The day is going by slowly, but nothing more than looks have happened since Peter and his guys spoke their mind this morning. It's only one more class before glee club, which he is regretting more and more. He really just wants to get out of this school, but he promised Rachel.

Rachel hasn't left his side all day. Luckily for Blaine, Rachel is in every class, except the last class of the day… After assuring Rachel he will be fine and that they will meet outside the classroom when it's over, he walks in.

He sits down in the back, only a few people already there. When it's only a few minutes left, Nathan walks in. Blaine isn't sure how to respond to him because he doesn't know how he feels about the picture. But when Nathan gives him a little smile, he relaxes a bit.

Nathan sits down beside him and smiles again, “hey”

“Should you be talking to me?” Blaine asks.

Nathan rolls his eyes, “I can do whatever I want. And I would never stop talking to you just because of a rumor”

Blaine frowns, so he doesn't believe it? Has he seen the picture?

Before Blaine can ask, Nathan answers.

“I saw it and I know what everyone is saying, but it doesn't mean it's true. Some people are really good with Photoshop”

Blaine can't help but smile a little, “you are the only one who thinks that, everyone has already put a label on me. And the picture is real by the way”

Nathan doesn't look surprised; maybe he didn't believe the picture was fake after all. He looks sad though.

“All I know is that there's more behind it than what we see on the picture.”

They don't say anything for a little while, just looking at the last students walking into the room and finding a place to sit.

“Why don't you come over after school?” Nathan asks and Blaine looks at him confused for a second, “sorry, I didn't mean to-“

“No, it's fine. Thank you, but maybe another time? I'm really tired today…”

Nathan nods, “of course, I understand. You look like shit, so I don't know why I asked” he jokes and they both laugh before the teacher enters.

Xx

“Are you okay?” Rachel asks when Blaine walks out of the classroom.

Blaine nods and they walk towards the choir room. Blaine looks around him to see if anyone sees him enter the room. He can't see anyone.

He walks inside with Rachel, who is holding his hand again. There are a lot of people here already. One is playing the piano and a memory of watching Kurt playing comes into his mind. He quickly shows it deep into his head again, not ready to think about him.

Most of the others are talking together in the back, except a blond girl and Chinese guy who are dancing together to the music. Everyone stops though when Blaine and Rachel walk in. When Blaine sees Finn, he quickly lets go of Rachel's hand.

“All right, I have-“a man says as he walks in, clearly the teacher, but stops when he sees Blaine, “oh, sorry didn't see you there. Are you interested in joining the glee club?”

Before Blaine can answer, Rachel does, “No, Mr. Schue, I invited him. He's having a tough time and I thought we could help him. I have a great idea”

Everyone groans and someone mumbling something about that not being the first time. Mr. Schue though, gives Blaine a sad smile.

“Please, tell us what you have in mind, Rachel”

Rachel steps forward, “as you all know, there is a rumor going around in school about Blaine.” Everyone nods and Blaine feels a little sick in his stomach, “everyone is treating him badly, especially the guys on the team, so I thought this could be a good place for him to go. I was thinking we could sing songs that would help Blaine. Telling him that he's not alone. I have some great ideas that I wrote on a list” everyone rolls their eyes as Rachel goes around and passes a piece of paper to everyone.

“Rachel…” Blaine starts when she comes back, not liking the idea of everyone singing songs to him.

Rachel looks at Blaine, “I'm doing this for you, and you'll thank me later”

Blaine doubts that, he can't see how songs will make him feel better.

Mr. Schue speaks up this time, “I think this is a really good idea, Rachel. Don't you agree?” he asks the rest of the club.

Some of them nods, some a little unsure and some not really responding at all. This is really not making Blaine feel any better.

“Maybe I'll give an exception to sing a song to help someone,” a dark headed girl says, “but before I do, I need to know something”

Everyone waits in anticipation, especially Blaine.

“Is it true?” she finally asks and everyone gives her an angry look.

“Santana!” Rachel and Mr. Schue both says angry.

Everyone ends up quiet though.

This can't get much more awkward… Blaine looks at the others in the room. Rachel is about to say something when Blaine answers, “you saw the picture” is all Blaine says.

“It doesn't matter,” Rachel says, “that's not why you are here. We are all going to help you get through this”

“So you're gay?” Santana pushes further.

“Santana!” more people says this time.

“No I'm not” Blaine says automatically, not sure if he is lying or not.

Everyone looks surprised by Blaine's answer, but luckily no one else says anything more.

“I don't think this is a good idea…” Blaine says, “I think I'm just gonna go”

Blaine is about to turn around and walk out when someone stops him again.

“But I know which song I was going to sing to you…”

Blaine turns around and looks at the blond girl who was dancing only a minute ago.

“Just sit down and listen, please?” Rachel pleads.

Blaine sighs, “fine”

A blond guy finds a chair for Blaine and puts it beside his own. Blaine hesitates for a second before walking over and sitting down. This is ridiculous. How can this help? Everyone saw a picture of him half naked with another guy and thinks he likes guys. If a song can get everyone to forget and delete the picture or turn back the time, he would be happy to listen to them sing, but if they can't, what's the point?

“I'm Sam” the blond guy says with a smile.

“Blaine” he says back, only giving him a small smile.

“Yeah I know” Sam says and turns his attention to Rachel.

Of course he knows, everyone knows who he is now.

“So I wanted to sing a song to you” Rachel says and looks at Blaine.

She finds a stool and sits down. When a guy starts to play on the piano, Blaine looks around at the others. Everyone is looking towards Rachel, so he does the same. This feels wired though, watching someone sing to him, for him.  

Dont go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

Dont imagine youre too familiar

And I dont see you anymore

Blaine smiles a little when he hears which song it is. He listens carefully to every word Rachel sings.

I would not leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times, Ill take the bad times

Ill take you just the way you are

He has never heard Rachel sing like this. Just sitting on a stool and singing softly. Blaine likes it.

Dont go trying some new fashion

Dont change the color of your hair

You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

Blaine can't help but smile when Rachel looks at him again.

I dont want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are.

Blaine looks at the band playing. This is all for him.

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and thats forever

And this I promise from my heart

I couldnt love you any better

I love you just the way you are.

Blaine takes deep breaths so he won't cry. Rachel has never opened up as much as she is doing now, even when they were together. They work best as friends.

When she is done everyone claps and Rachel walks over to Blaine and hugs him. Blaine smiles, even though he feels a little embarrassed at all this attention towards him.  But he hates to admit it, this makes him feel better.

“That was really great, Rachel” Mr. Schue says with a smile, “so anyone else want to sing a song?”

Blaine looks at the others, but no one says anything.

“You really don't have to” Blaine says and everyone looks at him “you don't know me and Rachel's song is enough”

“You can sing a song!” the blond girl says with a big smile.

Blaine blushes slightly, “sorry, I can't sing”

The blond girl's smile drops and Blaine feels bad. He can sing, but he just can't do it in front of that many.

“Maybe someday” Blaine says, hoping it will make her feel better.

“Okay, well can I sing something?” she asks and walks up to the front.

She whispers something to the man sitting by the piano and he nods, giving sheet music to the rest of the band. Do they know every song or something?

She walks over to Santana and whispers something to her. She smiles and takes her hand as they walk to the front. Blaine can't help but look at their hands. Are they together?

They sit down on a stool and the piano man starts to play.

Youll be okay

Youll be okay

The sun will rise

To better days

It's nice, they have good voices, but Blaine can't help feel it's weird since they don't know him. And the way Santana acted before doesn't help.

And change will come

Its on its way

Just close your eyes

And let it rain

Cause youre never alone

I will always be there

You just carry on

You will understand

The band comes in and Blaine looks at everyone swaying to the song.

Youll be okay

Youll be okay

Just look inside

You know the way

They harmonize together and they smile at each other, like they are singing it for each other.

Let it go

Fly away

And say goodbye

To yesterday

Cause youre never alone

And I will always be there

You just carry on

You will understand

And I will be strong

When love is gone

Ill carry on...

Youll be okay

Youll be okay

The sun will rise

To better days

Youll be okay

Youll be okay

Just close your eyes

And let it rain

When you need it the most

And all youve got is a prayer

You must carry on

You will understand

You will understand

You will understand

Youll be okay

Youll be okay

Youll be okay.

Everyone cheers when they are done. The two girls hug before getting back to their chairs. Blaine looks at them for a second, curious.

“That was amazing! Give it up for Santana and Brittany” Mr. Schue applause and the others clap.

A girl names Tina and the guy that was dancing when he came in, preform a song for them. Tina sings and the guy dances. It was nice. It's all nice.

Blaine gets it now though; the song and this lesson isn't only for him, it's for everyone.

They are different than Blaine thought they would be like. He hates himself for thinking this was a stupid club, it really isn't. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to sing in front of them after all.

 oooo

Kurt feels different, like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He knows he will never turn back to who he used to be, the shy guy who is interested in fashion and musicals. He is not that person anymore. But he won't be mad at his father and he will try not to blame himself for what happened to his mother. His father was right last night, it wasn't his fault, it could have happened at any point; or not at all.

Kurt thinks a lot about how it would be if his mother hadn't died that day. How easier everything would be. Maybe he wouldn't have turned out this way at all. Maybe he would still be bullied, but his mother would help him. She would help him with all of this. She would know what to do with Blaine. She would help him figure out if he wants to become famous.

He really misses her, not a day goes by without wishing she was still here, but the only thing that needs to be fixed right now is Blaine. He cares a lot about him and is not ready to let him go. He needs to find a way to make him forgive Kurt. But how? Is there a point in trying?

Kurt lights a smoke, thinking how much Blaine disapproves of this, but he doesn't care right now. He needs to calm down. He is soon at school and he isn't sure how to handle all this. It's a really fucked up situation. Blaine still doesn't think he is gay. He can understand being confused, but everything he did and everything they did, made Kurt think he was sure he was gay. But suddenly Blaine pushed him away and everything changed. Kurt has thought about that day a lot, trying to find a clue why this happened. He knows he shouldn't have said what he said when it all blew up, but it's more than that.

Blaine doesn't trust him.

Before Kurt can even respond, he is driving pass the entrance to the school. For a second he thinks about going back, but he doesn't feel like going to school today. He should give some space to Blaine anyways.

Kurt ends up at his house again. Seeing his father has left for work, it's safe. He walks inside and looks around the empty house. His eyes end at the piano and he remembers the day he played for Blaine. That was the first time since his mother died.

He sits down and looks down at the white and black keys. He touches them smoothly and starts pressing them down, creating a melody. He isn't sure what he is playing, but he feels like he has played it before.

The song he is supposed to write comes to his mind and he decides to try writing. He doesn't really feel like it, but maybe his situation will help him.

Kurt finds some paper and a pen. He looks down at the white lined paper like he is expecting it to write it for him. No words appear though.

What can he write about? He is not going to write one of those cheesy break-up songs, even though he feels like he is one. And he is not going to write about his mother. But he still wants it to mean something. He is not going to write any of those party and sex songs either.

He looks down at the paper again, but words are appearing. Kurt sighs and finds his computer, hoping to find some inspiration there. He searches on the internet, but nothing helps. This is really hopeless.  

Kurt goes back to the piano and starts to play again. He tries something new, and finds a good melody that might work. Now he only needs some words.

He finds some food, giving up on the writing for a while. He watches a movie and plays a game on his computer, but nothing helps his forget Blaine. He needs to talk to him.

He looks at his watch and sees it's only 12pm. It's lunch time now so maybe he can try calling him.

He finds his phone and calls Blaine. He doesn't pick up. Kurt tries two more times, before giving up.

After eating a sandwich, his phone buzzes. Kurt his embarrassed how quickly he runs to his phone, but he doesn't care right now. Blaine sent him a text.

He looks down at his phone and his heart drops.

Where are you?? Remember practice after school at Dylan's –Q

I know, I'll be there –K

Kurt throws his phone on the couch hard so it jumps back and lands on the floor. It buzzes again, but time he doesn't even bother picking it up. It's only Quinn.

Kurt walks up to his room and falls down on the bed. He puts on the radio and listen to a man babbling about something before announcing the next song is ‘stay with me' by Sam or Pam Smith, he didn't hear what he said.

He listens to it and is certain the guy didn't say Pam. The song makes him sleepy, but he can't stop listing to it. After the song ends, Kurt closes his eyes.

Xx

 “Kurt”

Someone shakes him awake. Kurt opens his eyes and sees his dad standing by his bed.

“…what?” Kurt mumbles.

The radio is still on, playing a horrible pop song. Kurt turns it off.

“Why aren't you at school?” he asks, but he doesn't sound mad, he sounds worried, “and your phone was on the living room floor”

Kurt blinks a few times, feeling his phone land on his bed by his foot, “I changed my mind so I drove back here. What time is it?”

Burt sighs, “It's 2pm”

Kurt makes a sound to say he heard him, “I have to be at Dylan's in an hour”

“Kurt, do you think that's a good idea? I know you think sleeping around will make it all better, but it really do. You deserve more than that.”

“It's for band practice” Kurt explains, “and I'm not seeing him anymore, it got a little complicated”

Why is he telling his dad all of this?

“I don't even want to know” Burt says and walks out of the room.

Kurt smiles a little and sits up in his bed. He yawns before walking down to the kitchen. He finds some food and looks down at his phone. Nothing.

He calls Blaine again. He isn't sure what he is going to say if Blaine will ever pick up, but he have to talk to him. He sends a text message too, but he doesn't answer.

Xx

“You're alive!” Puck says with a grin and Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Okay, so Jace told us we need to write some songs. Has anyone written anything?”

Everyone shakes their heads.

“Are we still going for the same kind of genre or are we going for something new?”

“Of course” Puck says.

“Why don't we do like Jace said?” Kurt says and everyone looks at him, “have some variations. We continue with the same, but we have a few songs that are different”

Quinn nods, “yeah that's a good idea”

“Good, so can we play now?” Puck asks eagerly.

They play a few songs before Kurt gets home. All he needs now is some inspiration to write a song.

He parks his car outside and walks inside. He notice a pair of shoes that normally isn't here and his heart stops, he knows exactly who they belong to. And he is here.

He quickly walks into the living room and sees his dad watching a football game. He can't see anyone else.

“Dad?”

Burt turns around and looks at him with a sad look.

He knows what he is asking, “he's waiting upstairs”

Kurt quickly runs upstairs and walks into his room. Blaine turns towards him and Kurt gasp, feeling anger boiling inside of him.

“Blaine…” Kurt starts, but he interrupts.

“I know I shouldn't be here, but I don't know where to go” he cries out and Kurt moves closer, looking into his eyes and trying not to think of his bruised face.

“Who did this to you?” Kurt asks, trying to stay calm.

“The football team” he mumbles, looking down.

Kurt wants to beat every guy on the team until they can't see anymore, but he has to stay clam for Blaine. He is more important.

“Let's get you cleaned up” Kurt eventually says and Blaine nods.

They walk into the bathroom and Kurt helps him out of his clothes. His stomach and knees are bruised too. His elbows are turning into a dark read and his face is completely bashed. He looks so helpless…

Kurt fills up a bubble bath and helps Blaine into it. Blaine wince and can't seem to find a good way to sit.

“You want to get out?” Kurt asks softly.

Blaine shakes his head and looks at Kurt. It looks like he is thinking about saying something, but decides not to.

“What?” Kurt asks.

“Nothing, it's not a good idea” Blaine shakes his head and wince again.

“Blaine” Kurt says and waits.

Blaine sighs, “Will you hold me?”

Kurt isn't sure what he means, but he will do anything to make Blaine feel better. He sits down on his knees and takes Blaine's hand, stroking it with his thumb.

Blaine shakes his head, “not like that…”

“Then how?” Kurt asks and let go of Blaine's hand.

He stops moving when Blaine's hand moves to his hip. He looks at Blaine and can feel his push his t-shirt upwards. Kurt let's go of a shaky breath and takes his shirt off. He understands what Blaine wants and as much as Kurt tries to say it doesn't mean anything to him, he knows it does. But if this will make Blaine feel better, he have to do it. That's not the only reason though.

He takes off his clothes and Blaine moves slowly forward, making room for Kurt. Kurt carefully sits down in the bath and Blaine lies back. The warmth of Blaine's body against his and the way Blaine is sighing in approval, is effecting Kurt more than he wants. He tries to stay calm though, he doesn't want to ruin this moment.

Blaine runs his hands up and down Kurt's legs, making Kurt shiver. He can feel himself getting harder so he tells Blaine to stop.

“Why?” Blaine whispers and tilts his head up to look at him.

He can kiss him now if he only moves a few inches closer.

“You know why” Kurt whispers and looks into Blaine's eyes. He is looking back, but Kurt can't read what he is thinking. It's probably a lot at once.

Blaine's hands start moving again, moving even further up than he did before.

“Blaine…” Kurt moans, closing his eyes.

He opens his eyes and looks at Blaine. Blaine moves closer and Kurt can't help but move in too so their lips touches.