Aug. 5, 2011, 6:04 a.m.
What Spying Can Lead To : Chapter 16
T - Words: 7,331 - Last Updated: Aug 05, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Aug 05, 2011 - Updated: Aug 05, 2011 1,260 0 0 0 0
Kurt lay there just enjoying the feeling of Blaine holding him in his sleep. He rolled over gently, trying not to wake his slumbering boyfriend, until he was looking into his peaceful face. He tried to resist the urge, but he reached out and lightly brushed the hair off of Blaine’s forehead where it had fallen free of the gel. Kurt’s breath caught as he saw Blaine’s eyes flutter open.
“Good morning.” Blaine whispered moving his hand to rest on Kurt’s cheek.
“Good morning. I could get used to this.” Kurt mumbled running his fingers over Blaine’s forehead once more.
“What?” Blaine asked quietly.
“Waking up in your arms.” Kurt said simply.
Blaine chuckled, “I was just thinking the same thing. I love you, Kurt.”
A smile broke out on Kurt’s face, “I love you too.”
Footsteps on the stair broke them out of their private moment. Kurt looked over his shoulder to see his dad peek into the living room. His eyes fell on the two boys, neither of whom could read the look on his face. Both were waiting for an explosion, or at the very least to be told to get up. Burt finally spoke, “Morning boys did you have a good night?”
They sat up, merely shifting so that Blaine was leaning against the back of the couch with Kurt’s head on his shoulder. “It was amazing.” Kurt said smiling at Blaine.
“So there was no trouble?” Burt asked warily.
Kurt laughed, “They tried to humiliate Santana and me making her king and me queen, but Figgins announced it the other way. So everything turned out great.”
The boys watched Mr. Hummel’s face contort in rage, but Blaine spoke before Burt could form his anger into words. “They handled it beautifully, Mr. Hummel. Kurt showed them he had won, he really owned it. You would have been so proud if you were there, I know I was.”
Burt’s anger seemed to diffuse, “I am always proud of my boy, I’m glad you had a good time.” He paused for a moment, “I have to go to the shop, I’ll see you later. Oh, and I would like a quiet house when I come home tonight so clear them,” he said gesturing to the group scattered across the room, “out before six tonight.”
As soon as Burt left, Kurt pulled Blaine to his feet and led him out of the room. They cautiously stepped over their friends, careful not to wake them. When they made it to the stairs, Kurt quickened his pace, hurrying up the stairs with Blaine confusedly on his heels. Kurt pulled him into his room, and shut the door behind him, bringing Blaine into a slow passionate kiss.
Blaine’s heart fluttered in his chest, threatening to stop by the sudden passion filling his boyfriend. When he pulled away, he stuttered, “W-what was that f-for?”
Kurt smiled coyly at him through his eyelashes, “I just really love you, you are amazing and beautiful, and everyone else is asleep. I wanted to take advantage of the moment.”
“Kurt…” Blaine began but he was at a loss for words. He couldn’t fathom why Kurt would think he was amazing and beautiful. But Kurt didn’t seem bothered by Blaine’s lack of words, he just merely took his hand and led him further into his room.
“Can I show you something?” Kurt asked.
Blaine nodded, not sure where this was going. Kurt walked into his massive closet and reached up to the top shelf grabbing a plain white box. He handled it delicately, like it was something precious, which it was.
“When we were moving, I found this in the attic.” Kurt told him opening the box and pulling out a beautiful tiara, the rhinestones slightly yellowed with age. “It was my mom’s. She was Prom Queen her senior year, not as a joke though. When I was little she used to put it on me when we were having tea parties and we would pretend we were royalty.” Kurt’s smile was tinged with sadness.
“After she died, I tried to find it, but I guess my dad boxed it up. He put a lot of her stuff away, I guess it hurt too much to see some things. I cried when I couldn’t find it, but I never asked my dad about it… because I didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes. I collected tiaras trying to, I don’t know, to relive those times, to feel like I had part of her back again. They were never the same. When my dad found them last year, I didn’t have the heart to tell him why I had them.” Kurt ran his finger gently over the curve of the crown. Then went to his bed and picked up the sad plastic imitation that was his crown. He placed them both tenderly in the tissue paper inside the box. “I am going to keep mine with hers, because they are both special. Hers reminds me of laughing and playing with my mom. The other will always remind me of dancing at prom with the love of my life. And how even though I know you were worried, you stood by me, hell you took me in your arms in front of the school and showed the world that we are strong… together.”
Blaine pulled Kurt into his arms, “My god, Kurt, you are truly the most amazing, strongest, most beautiful person I have ever met.”
Finn found them not long after, complaining that everyone was hungry. Kurt running on less sleep than most of them suggested they go out to eat. Kurt hated to see Blaine ride off with Puck to pick up his car, so he could head home and crash, but he knew they both were exhausted.
When Blaine walked into school the next day, Wes and David, who immediately bombarded him with questions, met him. Blaine laughed as he retold them about prom. The story complete, each of his best friends patted him on the back, “We told you there was nothing to worry about.” David told him.
It was just another day at McKinley for Kurt. People were still avoiding him, although he caught a couple of people smiling covertly at him. He wasn’t sure if the smiles were mocking or supportive, but it didn’t really matter to him, he was happy.
In Glee that day, Mr. Shue began talking about Nationals. “We really need to start cracking down guys, Nationals are next week and so far we have nothing set into stone.”
“Frankly Mr. Shue,” Rachel said standing up, demanding everyone’s attention. “I think it would be best to focus on one lead this year, put out strongest foot forward so to speak. That is what Vocal Adrenaline does and it has seemed successful.”
“But that is not us, Rachel.” Kurt sounded, “We do our best work when we work as a group showcasing the best of each of us. What we lack is vocal power as a group.”
“What do you mean Kurt?” Will asked turning his attention over to him.
“I mean, if you look at the Warblers, they have layers that we can’t achieve. Their problem is they lack our energy and dancing.” Will looked doubtful as did a few of the other glee members. Kurt continued, “Think about it, if we open with a spectacular solo or duet and then have the same vocal power behind another singer, it will show that we are not just one great singer with eleven bodies, but twelve great singers. Which do you think is more impressive?”
“I don’t know if I can come up with an arrangement like that. Maybe we should do more original songs?” Mr. Shue said.
Kurt shook his head, “I think we lucked out that we wrote one great song, I think it is a little too risky for Nationals, we need to be polished or we aren’t even going to make the top ten. I am sure Nick and Blaine would help us out.”
“No,” Rachel said, “If they are arranging the number, you know they will pick you or Mercedes to lead and that is not fair to the rest of us.”
In the end it was decided that they would ask Wes, David, Nick and Blaine for help. With the two unbiased members and Mr. Shue they thought it ensured a fair vote for who should lead the number. Kurt then called Blaine hoping that his plan would be accepted by the Warblers.
Blaine was sitting in the middle of practice when his phone started buzzing. They were mainly just sitting around talking, having no performances in the near future so Blaine pulled out his phone and answered.
“Hey Kurt, what’s going on, aren’t you rehearsing for nationals?” Blaine asked.
“We kind of need your help.” Kurt said then explained the idea to Blaine. After assuring Kurt he would call him back as soon as he talked to the others he grabbed Nick and pulled him over to Wes and David who were chatting with Thad.
“Guys, can I talk to you?” Blaine asked, hoping his friends wouldn’t think this was too much.
“Sure!” Wes said with a smile.
Thad was dubious about the idea, but in the end it was decided that it couldn’t hurt if they arranged one number for their formal rivals.
Kurt hurried into Mr. Shue’s office the next day to let him know that the four Warblers would be in for their after school rehearsals for the rest of the week. When he entered though, Mr. Shue looked as if someone had just punched him in the gut.
“What’s wrong Mr. Shue?” Kurt asked concerned for his teacher.
“Sue just told me her sister died last night.” He said, clearly not paying attention to who he was talking to. Kurt felt his stomach drop. True Coach Sylvester had tried to bring down glee club many times, but no one deserved to feel that kind of loss. From what Kurt had gathered from talking to her before the Vogue video, her sister was a very important part of her life. After quickly relaying the message that he was intending to tell Mr. Shue, Kurt hurried out of the office, right into Finn.
“Hey, where you going?” Finn asked steadying his stepbrother.
“I was going to run to the flower shop and get something for Coach Sylvester, he sister just died.” Kurt explained. Finn offered to go with him, this was a bond the two shared, they knew what it was like to miss and important part of their life.
In the car, Kurt remained silent. He wanted to keep up at least a civilized conversation but his mind kept going back to thoughts of his mother, her death, and her funeral. He had been thinking more and more about her recently, but now it felt as if the flood gates were opened. Part of him wanted to curl up in front of the old broken dresser and let the memories wash all over him.
Not since his father’s heart attack had he felt the grief so fresh, but then it had mostly been for fear of losing his father too. Now he felt just like that eight year old boy who just wanted his mommy back.
In the flower shop he picked out a small potted flower, knowing that it was hard when you had to throw the dead flowers away. Finn picked out a grey stuffed kitten. Once they made it back to school, having missed first period, they headed to the Coach’s office.
At first she was mildly insulting, and questioned why they would care. Kurt had so many things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t form them into coherent thoughts, and knew they would bring no real comfort for her. When she told them she couldn’t clean out her sisters room or plan a funeral Kurt jumped at the chance to help. He knew those were tough things to have to do for a loved one, and Kurt was an expert a planning events and organizing things. He knew that this was something he could do for his ex-coach that would make a difference.
Blaine, Nick, Wes and David were sitting in the choir room when Kurt entered that afternoon with Finn. They had obtained special permission from the dean to work on this “special project” and get out of class early the next four days.
Kurt sat next to Blaine giving him a sad smile, but turned to Finn to offer an explanation to the club. “I think we need to do this for Sue.” He concluded.
“Let me get this straight,” Wes said looking around the group in wonder, “You have a week before Nationals and you want to use precious practice time planning a funeral for a woman who obviously dislikes you?”
“It’s not for Coach Sylvester,” Kurt piped up, “It’s for her sister. I mean, Sue has always been decent to me, in her own way, but this is about Jean. She was like us, she was made fun of all of her life for something out of her control.”
“That may be, but do you really think you have the time…” David began.
“I will plan the funeral, just… we need to come up with something to sing for the funeral. Anyone that wants to help me can do so after rehearsal.” Kurt argued back.
Blaine wasn’t sure why his boyfriend was so adamant about it, but he would back him in whatever choice he made.
“Yeah, we are doing the funeral. This is important.” Finn added, ending all arguments.
“Okay, now that that is decided, where do we go from here?” Mr. Shue asked the Dalton boys.
“Well first we need to find out what everyone’s range is so that we can see what kind of parts we are going to be working with. I think the best way to do this is to do warm ups, when something is out of your comfortable range drop out. Nick would you note where each person drops out.” Wes looked at Nick who nodded. “Okay, David, if you could give the starting note.”
“Why?” Puck asked, ”we have a piano player, he can start us out?”
“I want to hear only your voices, you shouldn’t rely too much on accompaniment, things happen.” Wes said. “We will go lower first and then work our way back up.”
The group followed the warm-up while Wes, David and Blaine walked around the room listening to each singer. Nick sat at the front making note when at first each of the girls dropped out. Blaine kept waiting for Kurt to be the next to drop out, but was surprised when Sam was the next to stop singing. Puck, and Artie were next, followed by Finn. Soon Kurt and Mike were the only ones singing. Mike’s voice was not as strong as Kurt’s but soon he too dropped out, leaving Mike alone singing shakily before he quit out of embarrassment. Blaine noted Kurt hit a low A, two octaves below middle C and was highly impressed, he never knew his range was so low.
Wes asked David to sing with Mike to see how much lower he could go, before turning again to the group. “Okay, we are going to work up now, so don’t push yourself beyond your normal limits, remember we need to know what we have to work with to make the best arrangement for you.”
Again the group did the warm ups, working their way up. Mike was the first to drop out, followed by Puck then Finn. Sam tried to stay in with the girls but soon had to stop as well. Nick kept marking the note was the last for each member to hit. Soon Tina sat down and Santana and Brittany. Kurt kept going with the girls, soon Quinn was out leaving the three ‘divas’ of the group. Kurt was almost getting bored with this… he could have told Blaine and his friends what his range was, after all if Kurt Hummel knows anything it is his voice. They kept going once they made it past the high F Kurt stopped knowing that soon he would be in his true falsetto range.
He looked over at the Warbler boys who finally stopped Rachel and Mercedes in their competition to see once in for all who had the highest range. All four of the boys were staring at him, “What?” he asked, looking over at them a little bored.
“You just hit a high F?!?” Wes declared.
“I know, I could have gone on, but after that it doesn’t sound quite as strong.” Kurt commented, in the same tone one might the weather.
“But seriously, your range is amazing.” Wes continued, “If you ever want to transfer I am sure that we could…”
But he was cut off by the rest of New Directions yelling variations of “back off my boy.” And “You can’t take my Kurtie.” Kurt simply rolled his eyes and sat down. David, decided to take over for Wes as he regained his composure, “I think we have enough to work with, but we need to choose a soloist, so if you are interested sign up and we will audition tomorrow. When that has been decided we will talk to Mr. Shuester about song ideas and come up with an arrangement.”
Blaine walked Kurt out to his car, “Do you want to do something?” he asked as they approached the Navigator.
Kurt frowned at him, “I can’t, I’m sorry Finn and I promised Coach Sylvester we would meet her at the nursing home today to start cleaning out Jean’s things. Then I have to go to the funeral home to start with the arrangements.”
“Oh,” Blaine said, taken aback by this, “I didn’t think about that, I’m sorry.”
Kurt gave him sad smile, “Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry that you are here and I have to run.” He gave Blaine a quick kiss then hopped into his car. Blaine was left in the parking lot wondering what had happened.
Kurt arrived before Finn, who was going by a grocery store to pick up boxes and trash bags. He started sorting through what amounted to Jean’s life. His thoughts began to wander to what this must have been like for his dad to do when his mother died. He quickly pushed the thought away, putting all of his focus on the task at hand. Soon he had three piles well underway, one for trash, one for donation and one Sue might want to keep. A fourth pile lay to the side, this held things that he just couldn’t make his mind up on. He tossed a pair of pompoms in that pile, almost imagining Sue giving them to her sister, they were Titan colors after all. When Finn came in lugging a few boxes, Kurt set him to work filling them up with his piles.
When they were almost finished, Sue came in. It hurt seeing the walls she put up, trying to keep them out, trying not to show how much this stuff meant to her. After Sue stormed out, Kurt, took the pictures and placed them in his bag, and told Finn to donate the rest.
As Kurt drove to the Lima Forever Funeral home, ideas forming in his head, spun from their conversation with Sue. Sitting across from the director, Kurt told him all of his ideas. “I have been in this business for thirty years,” the man told him bluntly, “I have never heard of a funeral like that.”
“And you have probably never met anyone like Jean Sylvester either. I will take full responsibility for this funeral. I want something as special as Coach Sylvester’s sister was.” Kurt said, in a tone that challenged the man to cross him.
After picking out a simple oak coffin and casket spray, Kurt left to make the other arrangements he would need. First, he called Artie asking him to make a slide show with the pictures he had found in Jean’s room. Once he dropped those off, he ran to A Taste of Lima. A small red head greeted him as he walked through the door.
“Can I help you?” She asked with a sweet smile.
“Yes, my name is Kurt Hummel, and I am planning a funeral for a very special person…” he explained his idea and asked her if she would mind donating a chocolate fountain. He was hopeful when he saw tears spring to her eyes.
“My daughter has Down’s,” she said with a small smile, “you have given me hope that she may outlive me yet. I would be honored to help you.” Then she brought him into a hug. Kurt tried to control his emotions, which had been sitting on edge all day, but a tear trickled down his face.
After arranging for the delivery, Kurt left and called Tina and Quinn, he enlisted them to help make decorations for the funeral. They agreed to meet him at Quinn’s house after dinner to go over the exact details.
Over dinner at home, Kurt told Finn about his plan, their parents watched on unsure what to think of their undertaking, but proud of the enthusiasm that each put into it. While they ate, both boys began working on an arrangement for the song. Once a rough idea was decided upon, Kurt left the final details of the arrangement to Finn and rushed out to Quinn’s house with a sketch pad in hand.
Both girls were excited to help and Kurt helped them come up with ideas and promised to come help after school the next day, if one of them would pick up the supplies they needed. He left Quinn with a detailed list of everything they would need.
It was late by the time Kurt made it home, but his day was still not over yet, he had yet to pick out a song for his audition the next day. He was so absorbed with selecting and perfecting a number, and doing his moisturizing routine, he completely forgot to text Blaine. His phone lay, still on silent from school, in his bag, long forgotten.
Blaine sat in his room, after sending the fourth text of the night. It wasn’t like Kurt not to respond, but he had seemed distracted today after rehearsal. Blaine just wanted to talk to him, to tell him how amazing he was, to hear his voice and tell him he loved him. But Kurt wasn’t answering his phone or his texts. It was late when he fell into a fitful sleep.
Kurt kept himself distracted during school the next day, thinking about the things that still needed to be done for the funeral, his audition that afternoon, and the song they had to rehearse for the funeral. He kept his mind on the productive things he should be doing, trying to keep memories and the tears away. He wouldn’t let himself succumb to thoughts of his mother, he couldn’t, not right now.
As he entered the choir room, Blaine approached him cautiously, “Is everything alright? You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls?”
“Oh, god Blaine, I’m sorry.”Kurt said feeling awful. “I haven’t even pulled out my phone since last night, I have been so busy with the funeral and the audition today, I didn’t even think about it.” Hurt flashed across Blaine’s face, “It’s not you I forgot about,” Kurt tried to explain, he then pulled Blaine away from the group and spoke in low tones so only he could hear. “I need to keep myself busy right now. If I am going to do this…” his voice caught, “I have to stay focused. Once everything is done, I can let it all go… just please try and understand it’s not you… it’s what I have to do right now.”
Blaine didn’t really understand what Kurt was talking about, but felt better knowing that something else was going on. “Alright, just remember I am here if you need me, I love you.” He told him.
“I love you too.” Almost as soon as Kurt’s lips met his, Rachel screeched out, “Not fair, fraternizing with the judges!” Kurt rolled his eyes at her and made his way to his seat.
“Okay it looks like we have five people auditioning for soloist. We will call you back one at a time. Any questions?” Mr. Shue said to the group.
Kurt raised his hand, then stood up facing the rest of the glee club, “Finn and I have arranged a song to sing for the funeral, so while the auditions are going on we can work on that.” He nodded to Finn who got up and began passing out sheet music to everyone, who seemed a little hesitant about the song selection, but no one questioned it.
Santana went into the auditorium first, with the Dalton boys and Mr. Shue, leaving everyone else to practice the number. Kurt was surprised, when Santana reentered telling him it was his turn. Kurt grabbed his music to give to the band members, thankful that they were so good and he didn’t need to practice with them.
He walked out on stage with an air of confidence that each of the ‘judges’ had to admire. He spoke clearly and proudly when he announce, “I will be singing ‘Some People’ from Gypsy,” before motioning to the band.
Kurt put everything into his performance, all of his bottled up emotions was released the flurry of the song. He owned the stage, and the five men watching him couldn’t have denied him that. There was power in his movements and power in his voice. Blaine sat mesmerized by the performer that his boyfriend was. He knew that he could sit and watch Kurt on stage for the rest of his life and never grow tired of it. He wanted to shout to his friends sitting next to him, and to Kurt’s teacher, that he loved that man up there. Luckily he refrained because if he had interrupted he would have missed the end of the song. His mouth hung open when he saw his boyfriend rush to the front of the stage and fall into a back bend on the floor.
Kurt stood up slowly as his audience clapped their approval. “Great job, Kurt. Nice song selection.” Mr. Shuester told him.
“That was wonderful!” Blaine exclaimed causing Kurt to blush a little at the look on his boyfriends face.
“Yes, well done, Kurt,” Wes added, “now if you wouldn’t mind sending in Tina.”
Kurt bowed before heading back to the choir room with his head held high, knowing that he had nailed it.
Once Tina, Rachel and Mercedes were done with their auditions, they rehearsed the song for the funeral to perfection while the group in the auditorium came to a decision.
Blaine was beginning to lose his temper, they had been discussing the solos for the last twenty minutes and it was not going the way he thought it should. Of course, Blaine thought clearly that Kurt should get the solo, but Wes and David were trying to decide between Santana and Rachel. Nick was adamant that Mercedes did the best job.
“I think Rachel should get the solo, and we should choose someone else to front the group number.” Mr. Shue interjected.
“Why not Kurt?” Blaine asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.
“Kurt is great, but I think we could use him to better effect in the background.” David told him, “With his range we can use him best there.” Blaine sighed in defeat. “And before you say it Nick, the same thing goes with Mercedes. The whole reason they asked us here was to help flush out their back up, they know they have great vocalists, we need to help put those vocals to good use.”
Nick and Blaine, knowing they wouldn’t be able to change their minds, started petitioning for Tina. She had sung with sincerity and both new that they could find a song to fit her easily. In the end, the decision was made and they just had to announce it.
The choir room went silent as the group walked in. Mr. Shue stood before the group and cleared his throat. “The auditions were outstanding, and it was really hard for us to come to a decision. Rachel,” said girl perked up expectantly. “You will be our main soloist. And Tina you will be leading the group number.” Tina blanched at this.
“Are you sure, I mean, this is nationals.” Tina said clearly surprised by the announcement.
“We think that we can come up with a number to best showcase all of you with Tina leading. We will have something for you tomorrow.” Wes said with a smile.
Once Glee was dismissed, Kurt hopped up to make his way to the door. Blaine ran to catch up with him.“Hey Kurt, where are you going?” he called.
“I’m sorry Blaine, I was already ten steps ahead of myself.” Kurt said distractedly.
“Are you upset you didn’t get the lead?” Blaine asked gently.
“What… oh no, like I said I have a lot going on. One missed solo is not going to kill me. I am happy for Tina, she hasn’t sung a lot this year.” Kurt began walking again, with Blaine trying to keep up.
“Where are you going?” he asked. Blaine was not trying to show it, but he was still worried about Kurt, there was something going on.
“I have some things to do before I meet Quinn and Tina at Quinn’s house. Walk with me to my car?”
It was another quick goodbye before Kurt was off. He finalized all of the details for the funeral on Friday, before heading over to make decorations. He at least remembered to check his messages and to call Blaine before he went to bed. The call was short, but at least an effort was made.
Thursday ran about the same way. Kurt kept his mind going a million miles an hour. Blaine still felt alienated from his boyfriend. Kurt did ask Blaine to come to the funeral the next day, so he figured things couldn’t be that bad.
The morning of the funeral, Kurt and Finn didn’t go to school, instead they headed to the funeral home to start setting up. While he was working Kurt kept running through both the song for the funeral and the song for nationals in his head, anything to keep the thoughts that threatened to invade his mind from taking over. By the time the other guest started arriving, Kurt began to scan the crowd for his boyfriend.
Blaine walked into the funeral home and was grabbed almost instantly by Kurt. He took a deep breath before releasing it saying, “Thank you so much for being here, I don’t know if I could do this alone anymore.” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Kurt led him into the room and Blaine stared bewildered at the scene that greeted him. In front of the casket, giant mushrooms and lollipops littered the ground. A chocolate fountain stood to one side, while a photo of a woman, Blaine assumed to be Jean Sylvester stood on the other.
Kurt led him down the aisle and gestured to a row for Blaine to slide into, Kurt followed sitting on the end.
“How are you?” Blaine asked quietly, hoping that he would get an honest answer.
Kurt took a deep breath, “Hanging in there…” Kurt wanted to say more, but couldn’t without popping the seams to his emotions which were already frayed. Before Blaine could ask another question though, Kurt saw Mr. Shuester leading Coach Sylvester into the room. Kurt caught Finn’s eye and they stood to greet her.
Finn looked behind him and asked, “What do you think Coach Sylvester?”
“You told us that Willy Wonka was Jean’s favorite movie.” Kurt said, trying to keep his voice even.
Finn continued Kurt’s thought, “The way you described Jean made her sound so special, so we wanted he funeral to be special also.”
Kurt wanted to make sure that the coach understood exactly why they did it, “Something to capture and express the joy of her life, rather than the sadness of her death” Blaine sat and listened to the words and sat in wonder of just how special Kurt was to do this for someone he didn’t know.
Kurt stood with bated breath, hoping that Sue liked what they had tried to do. And with two words, he knew he had succeeded in honoring Jean’s memory, “It’s lovely.” Coach Sylvester said. A true compliment from a woman who was so hard to please. Will told them all to sit and Kurt rejoined Blaine who quickly took his hand in his, in silent support.
Kurt sat listening to the minister’s introduction trying to keep his mind occupied, but the Sue was approaching the podium.
"I miss my sister. Every night at 10 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why...she'd tell me her body told her...she wanted to hear my voice." Began the ever strong Coach Sylvester, but her voice caught and tears began coursing her face. Blaine looked over at Kurt, he saw a single tear escape his ocean eyes, before he could almost see walls go up around him, blocking out any other emotions that could come in.
Mr. Schue stood up and takes Sue's paper saying, “Here, I'll read it. …I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love some like I loved her they’re a part of you it’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them and now every time I reach for that tether I know there’s no one on the other end and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness and then I remember Jean. I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Just ten more seconds— is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can’t and I won’t and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I’m just going to miss her. I love you, Jeannie. Rest in peace.”
Kurt listened to the speech, filing the thoughts away but refusing to let the words effect him, he still had to sing. Just a few more minutes, and he could release all that he had been holding in.
As soon as Shue and Sue returned to their seats, the glee club made their way to the front to sing. Sam and Mike went to roll out the TV for the slide show. And Finn told the crowd that this was Jean’s favorite song.
As the music started, Tina said, “Hold your breath, make a wish count to three.”
Kurt voice drifted beautifully over the room,
Come with me, and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Finn took the next line,
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination
Tina continued singing like the breath of the same voice.
We'll begin, with a spin
Traveling in a world of my creation
Artie sings a line.
What we'll see will defy explanation
The group sings together, but Blaine focuses on Kurt, he can see the sadness in his eyes, but his face his dry. Blaine just wants to hold him.
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing to it
Blaine’s throat catches as Kurt’s voice breaks out of the rest, it feels like flying.
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Finn takes over again.
Living there, you'll be free
Then the two brother’s voices blend in such a way that they sound almost like one voice.
If you truly wish to be
The club sings together once more, and Blaine can feel tears stinging his eyes, the emotion, the sentiment of the song along with the beauty of it draws the wetness from his eyes. And Blaine lets the tears come.
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing to it
Tina takes the number over again for a moment.
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Kurt’s voice is like an angel, and Blaine’s heart feels like it wants to burst.
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly
If other voice’s join Kurt’s, Blaine doesn’t hear them all he can hear is that angel.
Wish to be
Once the song ends, Kurt instinctively looks over to Coach Sylvester, wanting to see her reaction, after all he did this not just for Jean but for her as well. When Sue nodded to him with a silent ‘thank you’, Kurt felt all the pent up emotions and stress were worth it knowing that he had helped even just a tiny bit.
Shue led Sue to stand up in front of the Glee club, as the rest of the mourners filed past. When Blaine’s row was asked to stand, he took Coach Sylvester’s hand in his and gave her a watery smile before making his way to the back of the funeral home to wait for Kurt.
Kurt stood in the group, watching all of the people pass by for what seemed like hours, he couldn’t let his emotions loose yet, not with all of these people here, not until he was alone, alone with Blaine. He knew Blaine had to have felt alienated this week, and Kurt desperately wanted to explain to him why it had to be that way. He smiled politely to the compliments and the kind words. Soon the last mourner shuffled past leaving the Glee Club alone with Sue. The soon started drifting off in small groups but Kurt was left rooted to the spot, by a look the coach gave him.
When the two of them were finally alone, she turned to him. “Thank you porcelain, I know that as much as you will give the credit to everyone else, that you did this. I am only going to say this once, and I will deny it until the day I die, but I have always have a soft spot for you. Maybe it is your no nonsense attitude, maybe it is your impeccable grooming, who am I kidding, you are special. No one else would have done this… especially for me, even if it was for my Jeanie. I have your back. Now get out of here.”
Kurt slowly approached Sue and gave her a tentative hug, before quietly walking away.
When Blaine saw Kurt approaching, he rushed to him seeing the tears welling in his eyes. Kurt whispered, it seeming to be the sound he could muster, “Please get take me home.”
Blaine grabbed Kurt around the waist and ushered him to his car. He could see Kurt’s fa�ade crumbling before his eyes and it damn near broke his own heart.
Kurt tried valiantly to keep his thoughts at bay as Blaine drove through the streets of Lima taking him home. He repeated his part of the nationals song over and over again in his head, he pictured the choreography they had begun piecing together yesterday anything to keep himself together just a little bit longer.
As Blaine pulled in front of the Hummel house, Kurt felt the last of his resistance cracking, crumbling around him. He fumbled with his keys for a moment, before Blaine’s gentle hand plucked them from his grasp letting them in the door. Kurt whispered again, knowing the battle was almost over, he could let loose soon, “My room, take me to my room.”
Once safely in his room Kurt collapsed on his bed, sobs over taking his body, almost a week’s worth of grief, and memories flooding through his mind. The dam broken inside, he let the thoughts he kept at bay for so long, after countless hours loose. Blaine instinctively took Kurt in his arms, engulfing him in his presence, trying to let him know that he was there for Kurt.
They lay on Kurt’s bed, intertwined, until the sobs lessened and Kurt could speak once more. He pushed himself up so he was leaning against his headboard, Blaine followed suit and wrapped his arms once again around his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry, I have been so distant and busy… I had to focus on getting the funeral done, so that I didn’t focus on all the feelings that it brought back.” Blaine gave him a sympathetic but slightly confused look. “All week I have been thinking about my mom, and losing her and her funeral. I know what Coach Sylvester feels like. I know what it is like to feel like you have lost the best, most important person in your life. I mean my dad has always been great, but my mom was ALWAYS there, when my dad was at work, it was just the two of us. And one minute she was here and she was smiling and loving me and the next she was just gone. I felt like part of me was gone too.”
Blaine sat holding Kurt, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do to help Kurt. He didn’t understand he was doing exactly what Kurt needed, he was listening and holding him.
“Things started changing, first her clothes were gone, then the tiara, each time something else disappeared, I felt like I was losing her again. Now… I can’t imagine how my dad did it, how hard it must have been for him. Planning a funeral for the person who means the most to you in the world, going through their things, judging what is important enough to keep, when it all feels so special because it was theirs. That is why I had to do it. I had to make this awful thing so much easier for her.” Kurt’s voice trailed off, he hadn’t said, exactly what he wanted to say, it all came out jumbled and wrong, but he couldn’t think of a better way to say all that he was feeling.
“You are the most amazing, caring, person I have ever known.” Blaine told him kissing his head.
“You know what Coach Sylvester wrote about feeling tethered to someone.” Blaine nodded, “I felt that way with my mom. Once I lost that, I just knew that I would never feel the same way ever again. Then I met you…” another sob escaped from Kurt’s lips.
Tears coursed down Blaine’s face, as he turned Kurt so they were facing each other. “Kurt… when Mr. Shuester read those words, I felt like he was talking about us. I love you more than I could ever say.”
Tears, kisses, and shared stories lingered throughout the rest of the afternoon. Kurt texted Mercedes to let Shue know they wouldn’t make that afternoon’s practice. Kurt knew he was not up for it, and Blaine knew Kurt needed him here.
As evening started rolling in, Blaine fixed them sandwiches and their talk move away from the past and into the future. They talked about moving to New York and all the things they would see and what they would do. Tears ran dry and laughter rang throughout the room.