See What I am Saying
KurtsWish
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See What I am Saying: Chapter 5


T - Words: 4,039 - Last Updated: Feb 23, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Jan 29, 2012 - Updated: Feb 23, 2012
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Author's Notes: AN: Okay I have just been swamped lately, sorry for the late updates. I am going to try and finish this fic soon. I feel like it is running out of steam, and I have a prompt for an AWESOME new fic. I want to do this one justice, but the other one is eating at my brain at the moment. So OPINION: Would you be opposed to me splitting my time between a new fic and this one, or try and finish this fic before moving on the next one? I think I could do so much more with this one... I don't even know. Thank you for those who have commented and added this story though... it does help me want to write more.

 

 

 

The next three weeks were spent exchanging text messages, drinking coffee and exchanging an abundance of kisses. If Blaine was worried Kurt wanted to keep their relationship a secret, he didn't show it. In fact, he didn't even want to admit it to himself. At school, they acted no differently than that fateful Friday that caused the bullying and the intervention. Most of the glee club just thought they were friends. Puck and Finn felt proud of themselves for having gotten through to Kurt and Puck even tried to scheme with Blaine ways to win Kurt's affection. Kurt still sat next to Mercedes in ASL, and Blaine only begrudged them a little.

Their coffee dates were decidedly chaste, the public setting demanding they act as no more than friends. At least, that is what Kurt reasoned with Blaine. They exchanged notes, sometimes signing until one of them grew frustrated at not being able to properly express themselves or be understood. Their texts at night garnered the most information shared between them. Hours they spent exchanging stories about their day.

It was the time between the two they spent alone in either of their cars that kept Blaine awake long after bidding Kurt goodnight. Blaine would revisit their exploring kisses, memorizing the noises coming deep from within Kurt and the feel of his mouth and hands. When they were truly alone, no words were exchanged whether written spoken or signed.

Besides coffee, they hadn't been on a proper date, something Blaine wanted to remedy. He thought and planned before presenting the idea to Kurt at their usually post glee coffee outing.

What are you doing Friday night?
He wrote cautiously on a clean piece of paper.

We have family dinner that night. Why?


Would you want to go to the movies with me? If you need to eat dinner with your family we could do coffee and desert after.

Blaine looked at Kurt hopefully. Kurt sighed his face sad and almost resigned as he wrote. As lovely as that sounds there are no movie theaters in Lima that offer closed captioning. The closest is almost an hour away near Haverbrook.

Blaine read the note and couldn’t contain his smile. Then we will go there. I just want to take my boyfriend out on a proper date.

Kurt gave Blaine a hard look he couldn't read before signing, Saturday? Blaine nodded with enthusiasm. Soon after, they left the coffee shop, meeting at a rundown park not too far away. Once again, they made themselves comfortable in the back seat of Kurt's SUV. Alone at last. Blaine raised his hands, wanting to try to tell Kurt just how excited he was about their date, but before he knew it, Kurt's lips were on his driving any other thought from his mind. This had become Blaine's favorite sensation. Kurt's lips moving insistently on his own, all hesitance forgotten over the three weeks since this began. Kurt began working his lips down Blaine's neck, a new yet not unwelcome development. Blaine couldn't hold in the moan as Kurt began sucking lightly on his collarbone. The next thing he knew, he heard a new sound coming from his boyfriend, a chuckle deeper than the giggles he coaxed out of him before followed by the feel of Kurt's lips spreading in a smile. Blaine pulled back and looked down at Kurt, his face showed none of the shyness he expected at the new sound, instead pride shown there and a smirk played on his lips. Blaine couldn't help kissing them once more, hoping that Kurt understood the meaning: I love it that you trust me with this.

Blaine pulled back again, wanting to share some of his feeling with Kurt. However, the other boy let out a frustrated growl before chasing down his lips again. Who was Blaine to say no to that.

An hour later, their lips red they parted to head to their respective homes with the promise of texting later. Blaine walked into his own house, a smile still playing on his lips. His mother was busying herself in the kitchen, a rare sight these days. Unable to contain his great mood, he bounced onto a stool at the kitchen counter, taking an apple out of the bowl and biting into it with a grin.

"Good day?" his mother asked smiling at her son.

Blaine thought back to his time spent with Kurt and his smile grew. "The best." he answered. Blaine still hadn't told his parents about Kurt, and in that moment, high from his day, he couldn't think of why that was. "I have a boyfriend!" he said followed by a giddy laugh.

His mom froze cutting the zucchini and looked at Blaine in shock. "Since when?"

"About three weeks. His name is Kurt and he is perfect. I want you to meet him." Blaine said practically bouncing again. "He is amazing, he plays piano, he dances, and we are in glee club together."

A small smile played on Mrs. Anderson's lips, "oh, so he sings too?"

"Well no," Blaine said thinking, "I think he is mostly there for dancing, but I'm not really sure what he does. I mean so far we have only done impromptu numbers and solos and Kurt never joins in. "

"Is he shy?" she asked her brow furrowed.

"No, at least I don't think he is. I mean he doesn't talk to many people. But he seems confident, so I think it is just that not many people speak his language or take the time to communicate with him." Blaine told her honestly, because he wasn't entirely sure why most people chose to ignore such a fabulous person.

His mother however stopped slicing the vegetables again, "what do you mean they don't speak his language. Is he a foreigner?"

Blaine couldn't help but laugh remembering Kurt's joke at Blaine's incorrect signing. "No, he's American.” Seeing his mom's confused look he elaborated, “Kurt’s deaf, mom."

Mrs. Anderson's face contorted so quickly Blaine could hardly keep up with the emotions shining there. Understanding, pride, hurt before settling on disappointment. "Blaine, are you sure that is such a good idea. I mean, what kind of future is a boy like that supposed to have. I know that Dalton taught you that everyone is the same no matter what. And as much as I would like to agree with that sentiment for the most part, sometimes that just isn’t true. I know you Blaine, you give yourself fully to people and until now this has been only in friendship, but I just fear that you are going to latch onto this boy without thinking about what this may mean to your future. I hate to be blunt, but what kind of job prospects could this boy have. Even if he graduates high school, what kind of jobs could he possibly hold? I don't want you to have to support a boy because you let your emotions get away from you."

Blaine stared at this mom in disbelief, he couldn't fathom those words ever coming out of his mouth. "First of all why are you talking like we are suddenly getting married? Secondly how can you say such things about him, you don't even know Kurt? When he graduates, he can do anything he wants to. I never thought you would limit someone because of something out of their control."

"Do you know him that well. I know that you are taking that sign class but I know you can't know enough to really get to know him." she asked any judgment gone for her voice.

Blaine sighed, "we write notes, we text. Sometimes I try and sign, but you're right I don't know enough to carry on a full conversation, but I'm learning. I may not know everything, but I know about his family and friends. I know from the way he writes that he is intelligent. I know that I like him." Blaine finished his voice small, all of his previous exuberance gone.

His mom rounded the counter and pulled him into a hug, her long dark hair falling into his face. "I'm sure you do, but a good relationship is based off of communication and the fact is that you too will never be able to fully communicate. And as harsh as it may sound he is limited because he cannot fully communicate with the world around him. I just don't want you to limit yourself either."

With mumbled words, Blaine excused himself with the excuse of nonexistent homework. He lay on his bed thinking over the things his mother said. It was true he didn't really know Kurt yet, but they were getting there. He knew more about Kurt than any of his hearing counterparts in glee club. Heck, he almost knew Kurt better than some of the Warblers. As for Kurt being limited, he couldn't see Kurt letting people limit him. Then he thought back to their secret relationship and it made him wonder if that was entirely true. Three weeks Blaine had had to act like they were no more than friends, and suddenly he wanted to know why. Was it because of the bullies, or was there something else?

Blaine grabbed his phone and sent a message to Kurt: Do you have time to talk?

A couple of minutes later, the phone chimed: I'm all yours now, at least for the next 40 minutes while my lasagna cooks. What's up? You never text this early.

Blaine sat there for a minute trying to gather his thoughts before replying: Something is bothering me and I just need to know. Will you be honest with me?

Yes. Kurt's next message read almost immediately.

Why can't we be open about our relationship? Blaine hit send and his stomach started churning out of nerves.

Reading Kurt's text Blaine could almost see his eye roll. We live in Ohio, and most of the Neanderthals who live in this Podunk town don't take kindly to a gay couple 'flaunting' their abnormalities for all to see. I'm not ashamed of you if that is what you were thinking. (this was exactly what Blaine had been afraid of). I just want to keep you safe.

What about you? Blaine responded.

The minute pause before receiving an answer was the worst part of their system of communicationWhile my deafness may not universally afford me protection, it does at school. You, however, are not so protected.

Blaine understood that for whatever reason, the cheerleading coach had taken Kurt under her wing and made sure he was left alone. He didn't hesitate in his answer though. I don't want to hide anymore. I understand you are uncomfortable with PDA, but can't we at least tell our friends.

Then everyone will know. No one in glee club can keep a secret, except maybe the two of us. Why the change of heart?

Something twisted around Blaine's heart at that. I have never wanted us to be a secret. Nothing would make me prouder than to shout to the world that you are my boyfriend.

The wait for Kurt's reply was the longest yet. Blaine was starting to panic and was about to send another message when it came.

Okay. Just Monday please, I want to tell my dad first and I really don't know how he is going to take it. To call him over protective would be an understatement.

Blaine wrote and deleted a message about telling his mom, but didn't want to explain her reaction to Kurt just yet. After agreeing to be open about their relationship to their friends on Monday,and they turned their conversation to other lighter topics. Blaine still had a lot of questions his talk with his mom had stirred up, but decided to save them for a different day.

At dinner that night, no mention was made of Blaine and his new relationship. A fact that made Blaine's heartache at his mother’s either apathetic or disdainful opinion of something so big to Blaine himself.

The rest of the week was harder for Blaine to contain the secret of his feeling toward Kurt. It felt more like a lie, more like dirty little secret. Only the thought of their proper date on Saturday and Monday itself saved him from breaking his promise to Kurt.

Friday night as Blaine was settling in bed, a new book in hand, a new text came in. Can we change our date to lunch and a movie tomorrow?

Sure why? Blaine answered almost immediately, pulling his laptop over to browse new movie times.

I told my dad about us and he wants to meet you "sooner rather than later" he doesn't go into the shop until one Saturday and is working late.

Saturday found Blaine standing in front of a nice red brick house, his hands sweating as he reached up to knock on the door. To his surprise and relief, Finn answered the door.

"Hey dude, what are you doing here?" he greeted with a goofy smile.

Blaine was surprised that Finn didn't know yet, "Um, actually I'm here to pick up Kurt... for our date." Finn just looked at him dumbfounded. "Can I come in?"

Finn stepped aside motioning Blaine into the foyer, "Yeah sorry dude, come in. I guess that was what everyone was talking about last night. Sometimes I can't keep up when they get on a roll. Plus, it's hard for me to eat and watch their hands all the time. And it really confuses me when they only use one hand. I tell you for just moving your hands around, it is hard to understand sometime" Finn babbled.

Blaine was just about to ask how he managed to convince Kurt to stop talking to him if it was so hard, when a man walked into the room. All the times Blaine had pictured Mr. Hummel he never came up with anything close to the man before him. Burt Hummel was a burly balding man wearing flannel with sharp piercing eyes. The eyes were the only thing he could really find resembling his son, everything else was in contrast to Kurt.

"You must be Blaine. Just for future reference if you want Kurt to answer the door, you have to use the doorbell, it makes the lights flash. Knocking will only get you me, Finn, my wife or no answer." he said in a gruff voice.

"Nice to meet you sir. I'm sorry I didn't even think of that. At my old school most of my friends lived in the dorms, I kind of got used to only knocking." Blaine said desperate to cover up for his mistake and hoping to make a good first impression.

"Why don't you come in and sit. We can talk while Kurt finishes getting ready," he said gesturing to the living room, but making no move to alert Kurt to his presence. Blaine noticed Finn make his way upstairs and could only hope he was going to tell Kurt he was here.

"I got to tell you Blaine, I was a little concerned when Kurt told me he had a date today with a boy who hadn't even come around to my house before. Imagine my concern when he tells me you two have apparently been together, a fact no one else seemed to know about. Now why is that?" he said leveling Blaine with an intense, probing look.

Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "I'm sorry about that sir, but honestly that was Kurt's choice. I think he was concerned our relationship would garner unwanted attention. As for not coming around, I came over as soon as Kurt invited me."

Burt sat back in his chair, removed his hat and ran a hand over his head before speaking again. "Kurt tells me you are taking sign language. How did you come to take that class?"

"Well, I needed extra classes to fill out my schedule since the courses I was planning in taking this year are not offered at McKinley. Of the classes available, it seemed the most interesting. From what little I had seen before I thought the language was beautiful."

Mr. Hummel nodded as if the answer seemed sufficient enough before asking another question. "Okay, I gotta ask why Kurt?" Blaine stared at him for a moment, "I gotta be honest kid, there have got to be easier people to start a relationship with. I'm not saying Kurt is hard to get along with… it's just... You don’t know sign… and just why Kurt? Why you want to date my son?"

Blaine tried to order his thoughts but it was no use, the words spewed out of his mouth as soon as he thought them. "Kurt's special. I knew it the first time I saw him. And I'm not talking about him being deaf. I don't know, it's the way he carries himself; he moves with such confidence and grace. He's just beautiful, in every way. When we talk, well write, it's like either he says just what I was thinking or he says something so different that it makes me think. I know it won't be easy; honestly I don't want it to be. I mean I don't know. All I can tell you is I really like him... He's an amazing boy." His words run out, Blaine stops and raise his head to look at Mr. Hummel. He has a scowl on his face but his eyes sparkle.

"Okay, well I guess that's all from me. Have him home by eleven."

Blaine scrambles to his feet as Burt stands to leave, "thank you Mr. Hummel."

"Burt" he says shaking Blaine's extended hand firmly before leaving the room. Blaine watches him go and sees Kurt enter the room looking harassed.

Sorry I wasn't here sooner, it took Finn ten minutes to tell me you were here. Kurt signed slowly making sure Blaine caught what he was saying.

Ready? Blaine signed back. Kurt face glowed with an excited smile and followed Blaine out to his car.

The ride to the restaurant Blaine found near the movie theatre was uncomfortable at first. Music was playing softly and Blaine resisted the urge to sing until one of his favorite Katy Perry songs  came on. Without thinking, Blaine started singing and bopping to the music. He looked over at Kurt and noticed him giving him a confused smile. Blaine pointed to the radio and shrugged. To his great surprise Kurt reached forward and started messing with the dials until the music was blaring and the bass was turned up as high as it would go. Kurt started dancing in his seat along with the beat, smiling at Blaine the whole time. After that, the ride was enjoyable and passed quickly.

The first thing Blaine noticed about the cafe when they entered was the number of people signing. The dining room was almost full and half of the tables were clearly using sign language. Kurt beamed over at Blaine, who wished he could say he planned it, but had no idea it would be like this when he found the website.

It was nice that both boys could order for themselves, the waitress could hear, but knew at least enough sign to take orders and answer questions about the food. Blaine brought out his trusty notepad and the two began jotting down a casual conversation. The food was excellent and they were having a good time (something that came as a great relief to Blaine).

As they were walking back out to Blaine's car, someone tapped Kurt on the shoulder. The pair turned around and surprise showed clearly on Kurt's face. He hugged the two girls standing there and waved awkwardly at the boy. Blaine watched them exchange greetings before the newcomers' eyes landed on him.

My name is Blaine nice to meet you. He was proud to be able to introduce himself.

My boyfriend
Kurt added.

The blond girl then began signing to Blaine quicker than he could keep up. He could tell from her facial expression that she asked him at least one question but he had no idea what it could be. She raised her eyebrow at him before adding another question: are you deaf?

Blaine shook his head and all three turned to Kurt giving him a dark look. Never had Blaine wished to know sign language more than in that moment. Hands were flying forcefully and with such speed, he was sure if there was an interpreter there, she would be yelling and struggling to keep up with the four. Kurt's previously happy face turned dark. Blaine only recognized a few signs used by the four; hearing, understand and stupid were among them. When Kurt threw up his middle finger (a sign Blaine didn't know was actual sign language) and walked away Blaine followed in confusion. He unlocked the car with his remote just before Kurt yanked the handle and threw himself in the car. Blaine shuffled in beside him. He took in Kurt's blotchy cheeks and blazing eyes before pulling out his note pad and asking. What was that all about?

They were some of my friends I used to know at Haverbrook. Kurt wrote shortly.

I take it they don't like the idea of us dating. Blaine scribbled. He knew that he was the topic of that argument. He just wanted Kurt to admit it and explain.

Kurt snatched the paper out of Blaine's hands. No they don't. They feel we are doomed because since you can hear you will never understand me. Apparently, I need to realize that I am deaf and nothing will change that, not even dating you. Kurt scrawled down before shoving the papers into Blaine's chest, which tightened as he read the words.

They are right; I will never really understand what it is like to be deaf. However, that doesn't change the way I feel for you. I want to understand, I want to be able to communicate with you without using a stupid piece of paper. You are deaf but that is just a part of you. I would like you if you could hear or not, just like I would like you even if you had brown eyes. I like you for how you are not because of how you were born.

Blaine handed the paper over to Kurt and saw his eyes light up, then his face grew pale as he finished. He turned to Blaine almost looking sick as he signed; I wasn’t born deaf.

 

Blaine gave Kurt and inquiring look to which he answered, After the movie, we will go back to my place and I’ll explain everything.

 

Blaine nodded before turning the car towards the movie theatre, trying to push all the possible ways Kurt could have become deaf to the back of his mind.

 

 

End Notes: I never end on a cliffhanger, but guys, the next part may be a monster to write. I promise you will find out everything in the next chapter. Let me know what you thought.

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I really love the concept of this story. I would hope you would continue with it. :)

I will continue it (just uploaded another chapter) but I will be splitting time with this and another story. Thank you so much for your review.