Days passed and while in most respects Kurt seemed to be getting better; his eyes were less distant and he did more than stare at his sketchbook now, he still seemed to have a barrier built around him. Blaine tried to be patient knowing Kurt had been through so much, and was beginning to understand, probably more than he had told Blaine about in his letters. It was hard though for Blaine to watch Kurt heal in so many ways while he slowly pulled himself away from Blaine. He resolved himself that he would not push Kurt, he would simply wait for Kurt to come to him.

Blaine ached to do more than hold Kurt through the night. He yearned for more than the few chaste kisses he stole when he just couldn't help himself anymore. Having Kurt here, but unable to touch him like he had grown accustomed to all those months ago, made him feel so much farther away than the months of letter writing did. However, as much as he wanted to lose himself in the ecstasy of Kurt, he never wanted to push Kurt into anything he wasn't ready for. He thought back to the time before they had sex and wondered how long Kurt was ready for more before he knew that Blaine himself was ready. Was it this hard for Kurt to hold back with him waiting for a sign that he was truly ready for more? Blaine knew that if Kurt could do it for him he would gladly do it for Kurt.

As more days passed though, Kurt seemed to be more aggravated by something, his eyes filled with hurt and he began to lash out with his words at the smallest infraction. Blaine didn't know what to do. He had taken to mumbling an apology before kissing Kurt tenderly on the head, and then usually he would excuse himself hoping to give Kurt time to calm down. He missed the tears in Kurt's eyes as he walked away. Blaine didn't know what was going on until one day, Kurt's tear filled voice followed him down the worn path back to the house.

"You don't have to stay with me just because you feel sorry for me. I-if you don't love me anymore, I will understand."

Blaine spun on his heels, he heart hammering somewhere in the region of his belly. "What? Of course I still love you Kurt how can you think that?" He asked still frozen in place, too far away from Kurt.

Kurt's eyes were wet with tears as he answered, "You can't even look at me anymore, let alone touch me. I just... I understand that I am a mess..." His words trailed off but suddenly it all seemed so clear. Kurt thought it was rejection.

In an instant Blaine was by his side, "no, it's not like that. I thought... I thought that you still needed time... I didn't... I didn't want to make things harder for you."

A new fire seemed to fill Kurt eyes, "I may be mess, but I am not broken. I am still here and I want to be here with you. And it's as if since I have been back you have been so afraid to touch me, that I might break. I know I have issues to work through... You told me I can't push you away, will you can't treat me with kid gloves either. You can't treat me like any show of love will leave me broken on the floor. I want you to look at me with passion not compassion; I want desire not sympathy. My heart and my body have ached for you since I left and its only been worse since I got back."

Blaine wanted to agree, but his mouth was busy. Kurt had leapt at him his mouth seeking Blaine's hungrily. As their tongues battled, Blaine felt like his heart was slammed back into place. This was what he had longed for, not just Kurt back in his arms, but knowing for certain he was his. Their hands roved over each other's bodies , their mouths not parting as their hands slid and clutched once memorized places. Clothes were tossed aside haphazardly in a race to have as much skin exposed as possible. Soon they were toppling to the ground, bodies seeking friction and waves of desire pouring off them.

"I have wanted you... so long... I didn't want to push..." Blaine panted. "Please... I need you... I want to feel you..."

Kurt seemed to come to himself then as he pulled his face back to better focus on Blaine. "We can't... I don't have any..."

"I don't care," Blaine almost cried. He didn't care that they were ill prepared. He had waited so long for Kurt. He only had himself to blame for how long it took him to get here, but now that they were he couldn't imagine stopping to run to the house, or god forbid the town for anything. He felt like he was begging when he panted, "I don't care, use spit... I just need you."

"Wait," Kurt cried scrambling to the box of art supplies a few feet away. A cry of triumph a minute later preceded Kurt smiling face beaming back at him. In his fist was clutched a long forgotten jar of Vaseline. Before Blaine could move to meet him Kurt was back by his side once more. Their grins made kissing almost impossible until Blaine's mouth fell open in a moan as Kurt grabbed his cock. It felt like a lifetime since Blaine had felt such pleasure. His own hand for months paled in comparisons to the ecstasy coursing through him at Kurt's touch. As Blaine was lost to the feel, Kurt began to pillage his mouth until Blaine responded with equal enthusiasm. Blaine's mind came back to him long enough to search out with his hand. He ran it slowly down Kurt's body until it grasped around Kurt rock hard member. No one had ever seen this side of Kurt, this was all for him. He had missed seeing Kurt fall apart with pleasure instead of nightmarish memories. He longed to see it again. "Please Kurt..." he practically begged.

This time Kurt didn't need to pause to think, in a moment his hand was slicked and sliding to one of Blaine's most intimate places. Blaine panted under him as Kurt's fingers caressed the dark circle of his ass, the sensation at once all too much but not near enough. It was not like their first time though, no teasing fingers, no slow worship of bodies; almost as soon as they rubbed against his hole a finger breeched it slow and hungry. Blaine could barely catch his breath as Kurt pumped his finger inside him quickly before adding another. The sting they caused made Blaine cry out, not in pain but in pleasure. His noises filled the woods as he urged Kurt on, insisting he not stop. Blaine could feel his body opening to Kurt and felt his body loosen as his gut seemed to tighten in pleasure. "Now... Please Kurt, now!"

Kurt's fingers leaving his body sent an ache through him that he knew only Kurt's cock could fill. He needed this he needed him, and Blaine was not shy with his words concerning this matter. He babbled them nonstop as Kurt slid back to slick himself up for Blaine. His words caught in his throat when Kurt's face was once again hovering over his. Kurt eyes were dark with lust but they sparkled in the late afternoon sun, a smile was on his lips before he leaned down to claim Blaine's once again. As they kissed Blaine could feel Kurt sneaking a hand between their bodies, holding his dick, guiding it until the tip grazed Blaine's open hole. Blaine's hands gripped Kurt ass, silently insisting, pushing him forward as they continued to kiss frantically. As Kurt's cock impaled him, Blaine found himself panting once more against Kurt lips. It had been so long, but this was so familiar and Blaine had dreamed of being like this with Kurt once more for so long.

The pace Kurt set was frantic, a need filling him that Blaine was eager to meet. Each thrust Blaine met driving himself onto Kurt. Even without longing looks and gentle hands, they expressed their feeling clearly. This was love too, the desperate lovemaking of two men apart for too long. It seemed like no time before Blaine felt himself coiling tighter his dick still untouched. He bit into Kurt's pale shoulder as he came in rivulets between them. Kurt continued to pound into him as Blaine lay spent beneath him. When Blaine could finally open his eyes, he found Kurt taking in his features, tears in his eyes moments before his face contorted into a cry of ecstasy and he came deep inside Blaine.

They lay panting together, entwined in each other as Kurt softened inside him, yet they still did not moved from each other's hold. For too long they had kept each other too far away. But no more; so on the hard, hot ground in the middle of the woods they fell to sleep sticky with cum and still connected as one. The world spun around them once more.

A whimper followed by a lapping tongue on his face woke Blaine. Apparently, during their impromptu nap, Doc had awoken and found them. Kurt's heavy weight still pinned Blaine to the ground on top of him, but he had shifted at some point so they were no longer connected. Doc licked their faces with abandon until both were wake and pushing him away so they could sit up.

As soon as they were up right again they fell into each other's arms, this time laughing as the puppy barked and pranced around them clearly ready to play. They quickly dressed and soon Kurt was running down the path chasing and being chased by Doc while Blaine walked behind carrying the box of art supplies. His heart was light seeing the smiles and hearing the clear laughter coming from his lover. For the first time since Kurt's return he didn't just hope, he knew without a shadow of a doubt they would be okay.

Things seemed to get better after that day in the woods; though Blaine knew Kurt was nowhere near back to normal. He was on a whole more subdued, and while he smiled more, they were no longer the carefree smiles he had fallen in love with. Kurt was still haunted by his time in Vietnam, and Blaine feared he may never be rid of that shadow over his life; but Kurt was learning to live with it as well. Blaine would have been happy to always stay in this fantasy bubble they had at the farm. He was surprised then when one night as Kurt crawled into bed after letting Doc back into the room following another bout of enthusiastic lovemaking, when he spoke in a quiet voice, "I think I want to leave the farm."

Blaine's previous sated sleepiness was quickly replaced with alertness tinged with fear. "What, why?" he asked, still not yet eased back into the good place they had found together again.

He could feel Kurt shrug his shoulders against his back where he lay wrapped around Blaine. "I just..."

Blaine turned over in his arms wanting to see his face, wanting any indicators as to what was going on in his boyfriends mind. "Tell me Kurt, please... I want to understand."

"I just... I don't feel like this is my home anymore. For months, all I could do was dream of coming back to this place, back to you here, but things here are so different. Not just the house or the animals being gone." Kurt paused; Blaine wanted to ask more but could see that Kurt was trying to form his thoughts into words, so he kept silent. "When I left this was my place, it was what I wanted it to be... but now, it's Quinn and Puck's home and I feel like we are intruding. I don't feel like I belong here. I don't know where I want to go, but I think that I have overstayed my welcome."

"Did Puck or Quinn," Blaine began to ask his anger growing, before being silenced by a finger to his lips. Since their first night back, neither boy had spoken much to the others. Puck was gone from the house early in the morning only returning once the sun had long set. Once he was back, he only had eyes for Quinn and Beth Blaine was certain now that they were together, either something sparked by long months together at the farm or rekindled by the same, he wasn't sure. During the day, Quinn would sit at the sewing machine mending and piecing together clothes for the local seamstress. Rather than be in the way, Kurt and Blaine spent most of their time out in the woods with Doc. Blaine wasn't sure what the other couple thought about their being here with them.

Kurt kissed away Blaine's scowl. "Neither have said anything, but honestly they would be well within their rights if they did. I did sell the farm to Quinn,"

"For five bucks." Blaine mumbled.

Kurt laughed earning a smile from Blaine. "The price doesn't matter, not to me. I sold the farm to her and I was gone for so long, I can't really blame them for wanting to make it their home. I just don't feel like I should be a part of it."

"But how long has this land been in your family Kurt?" Blaine asked. He couldn't imagine Kurt wanting to leave, not after having to work so hard to convince him after Mrs. Hudson's first visit.

"I can talk to them; make sure that if they sell the land can get first chance."

"We?" Blaine asked with a smile, hardly able to believe what Kurt was implying.

"Yes we, silly." He said returning the smile with the same light in his eye Blaine knew he had. "What I am saying is that it really doesn't matter as much to me anymore. What made this place special was never the dirt it sat upon, but the people who made it a home. My family is all gone; they are nothing more than memories, which I can take with me no matter what. What makes this place special is you... and I hope that maybe, we can find our own special place together. I don't know where that will be but I think I am ready to go find it."

Blaine could feel a new apprehension growing though, "but before you said we wouldn't be safe. Can we find a place where we can still be together?"

Kurt's hand lifted to caress Blaine's cheek. "I don't know, but from what you said things might be changing at least a little bit. We are both still young enough that if we can't find a safe place, we can still appear as roommates or something without raising eyebrows... I want to try though "

They lay together like that for most of the night talking about possible places they could go. Chicago had passes a law a couple of years prior lifting the ban on sodomy. They had both heard that San Francisco was a safer place. Other towns kept being mentioned, New Orleans, Los Angeles, and New York. Kurt had money saved up from his tour of duty, and Blaine knew that his mother would ensure he received his trust even if he never returned to college, but only one place they talked about had even the prospect of a job for either of them. Sleepily they crept downstairs, without an ounce of sleep between them to talk to Puck.

Puck shared all the information he had about John Grady and his friend. When they shared with him their plan, he tried to argue that they were of course welcome at the farm; it was their home as much as it was his. When he saw however that they were resolute in their plan, he insisted they use the phone to contact John right away, the long distance cost not mattering in the least. Things seemed to happen at a whirlwind pace after that. Blaine's Mustang was soon overflowing with paintings, art supplies and two bags of clothes. There was barely room for the two men and Doc to fit inside, but neither cared, they were filled with such hope and excitement for this new journey, they had decided upon. Before making their way out of Ohio, they had a few stops to make.

Carole Hudson was tears eyed when they bid her goodbye. She pulled both men into her arms and held them tightly in their turn. Blaine was surprised that she held him just as long and hard as she did Kurt. She made them promise to write and call as much as possible, before letting them go with a kiss.

Mr. Rudd seemed surprised to find the two of them on his doorstep when he answered their knock, but let Judy come and speak to them on the front porch with little reluctance. Her arms flung around Kurt murmuring thanks that he was safe when she recognized him standing next to Blaine. She made Blaine promise to let her know if New York was really a place where she could be safe.

Blaine felt bad for skipping his own parent's house in favor of only visiting his brother, but he couldn't face them. He wasn't afraid of seeing more disappointment in their eyes, he had grown used to the fact that his father would never look on him with pride. He just didn't want them tainting the excitement he felt for their decision. Rather than face them, he left a note telling them of his plan to make it in New York.

Cooper had his own news, which made Blaine doubly glad he had decided to bypass his parents in their goodbyes; he was quitting the law firm and moving to LA. He laughed when he told Blaine, "I always wanted to work in entertainment. I am interviewing with a law firm that specializes in entertainment law."

Their goodbyes complete they crammed back in the car and slowly made their way to New York.

John Grady was nothing like Kurt or Blaine expected. Although Puck had been insistent that the man was no hippie, with the other tidbits of information he had given them, they expected him to be a sort of free spirit. However, when he opened the door of his Greenwich Village apartment to them no other descriptor seemed further from the truth. He was a small man, even a few inches shorter than Blaine was, with neatly parted dirty blond hair and small muddy brown eyes hidden behind coke bottle glasses. His suit was still neatly pressed and rigidly done up even though it was already after nine at night. His smile was friendly though when he greeted them, though it was as reserved as the rest of him.

"You must be Kurt." He said though he looked at Blaine.

Blaine couldn't help the bubble of laughter as he replied. "As flattered as I am that I look like the hippie artist type, I'm afraid I am not a fraction as talented at art as Kurt. No, I'm Blaine, this is Kurt." He gestured over to Kurt who promptly held his hand out to be shaken.

"I'm afraid I still have a bit of time before my hair is back to its full glory." Kurt smiled as he flipped his now ear length hair. "But I am Kurt. Thank you for meeting us. I know that you wanted to do this a year ago..."

Kurt trailed off, Blaine knew that he didn't want to discuss further of the circumstances of the delay. John however, didn't pick up on the signal. "Yes, I remember your friend saying something about you being drafted now. But you are here now. My friend with the gallery should be here in about an hour, please come in." It was then John spotted Doc sitting calmly, for once, behind them in the hall. Although he gave him a wary look, he didn't say anything.

It was hard for Blaine to sit next to Kurt on the couch and not be able to reach a hand over to grab his, or to scoot as close to him as possible. He had to remind himself that they were no longer in the safety of the farm. New York may have been the starting place of a 'gay revolution' but not that much had changed yet. They sat making small talk, mainly about the drive from Ohio. None of the three were comfortable, tension was high, but they all tried nonetheless. The tension was shattered however when a fourth man burst into the apartment without even a knock.

"Johnny boy, I tell you it is an absolute mess out there. Not a cab in sight and I had to walk here in my brand new shoes. I know what you're going to say, it is only ten blocks, but believe me honey these shoes are for looking good, not for trekking around the city. Not only that but I nearly ran into Carlos, I don't know why the Latins have such a great reputation as lovers, because he certainly doesn't know a dick from a whole in the ground." The new comer was the polar opposite of John. There was nothing reserved about this man, he wore tight fitting pants, with a lavender shirt open at the neck, a floral scarf concealing what the shirt failed to cover. His hair was blond and expertly styled and he flounced around the room until he turned to face the couch and is eyes landed on Kurt and Blaine on the couch.

Blaine glanced over at Kurt who was doing little to hide his shock. His hand was placed over his chest, and Blaine was sure the initial boom of the door had nearly sent him into a panic, but his eyes were now focused on the man in front of him with wonder. Blaine knew his mouth had fallen open listening to the man rant with such a fond lilt to his voice. He quickly shut it and turned his face to John.

John looked petrified. There was no other way to describe it; he looked like this other man was there to murder them. "Gabriel," he said in warning before looking pointedly at Kurt and Blaine.

"Is this the artist then?" Gabriel asked, apparently not as worried about whatever John was. When John didn't answer, after half a second Gabriel continued, "oh come on John, get the stick out if your ass, didn't his friend tell us he was a queer too. If we can't be campy around our own can, where is the fun?" He turned to the couple on the couch then with a smile. "Hello there, I am Gabriel Milan. And can I say it is a pleasure to meet you. Aren't you two just the prettiest things I have ever seen. Maybe this can be more pleasure than I had hoped."

Gabriel's obvious interest made Blaine squirm. It was new and unwelcome, and furthermore not just directed at him, but Kurt as well. Gabriel's gaze made him uneasy.

"I don't think that will work out." Kurt said, his voice strong and held back with a forced calm. "I came here to talk about my art not to have you proposition me and my boyfriend."

Hearing Kurt say that word aloud, and to total strangers made Blaine's heart leap. He had always wanted to shout from the rooftops his love for Kurt. While shouting it may still be out of order he could still proclaim it when necessary. And apparently Kurt felt the same way.

"Ooo, boyfriends," Gabriel cooed, "how... nice. Well if you're sure let's see what you do have to show me." He gestured to the box of paintings Kurt had grabbed from the car. Blaine wondered at the odd expression that Gabriel had on his face but decided to let it pass.

Gabriel's cooing became more genuine as he looked over the paintings Kurt had brought with him. He marveled at the larger pictures of the larger paintings and sculptures they had to leave back in Ohio. He demanded to see more so the four men unloaded the car completely not wanting to leave piece out by accident. A new spark came to Kurt's eyes as he talked about his art. It was something that had been missing since Kurt left all those months ago. Blaine could see inspiration flowing back through him.

Gabriel grabbed a sketchbook from a box that held mostly Kurt's art supplies and before anyone could say a word began flipping through him. Kurt tensed it was his latest sketchpad, the one that help drawings some of which Kurt hadn't even shown Blaine yet. Blaine knew that in that book housed representations of all the memories that haunted Kurt from his tour in Vietnam. If Gabriel saw something that shocked him he didn't let on, his face remained its normal glow of excitement. After flipping a few more pages, he set the book down on the coffee table in front of him. Blaine could see Kurt itching to take it, but Gabriel's words stopped him in his track. "I think it is indeed going to be a pleasure doing business with you Kurt. Now let's talk logistic."

Before the sun rose the next morning, Gabriel and Kurt had struck a deal to open a gallery showing of Kurt's work in six months. Gabriel wanted more pieces to show and urged Kurt to keep working and building a collection. The boys knew they didn't want to go back to Ohio, but also knew they couldn't crash at John's place for six months. When they voiced their concerns Gabriel just smiled at them and said, "Let Auntie Gabby take care of you boys, I think there is a place you ought to see."

That was how in just three days Blaine found himself on a ferry with Kurt beside them looking out over the waters of the Great South Bay. Gabriel and a reluctant John were seated behind them as they made their way to the island. Blaine almost couldn't believe the stories they told him were true. It was just too unbelievable. He was trying to keep his excitement in check. As they lay close together on John's couch, whispered words between them as John slept soundly in his own room; they had talked about the possibilities if Gabriel had been telling the truth. Only in those moments had Blaine allowed himself to dream.

Blaine still held himself back from being overly eager. Beside him, Kurt was as tense as he ever was in public anymore. It wasn't until they veered from the boardwalk, there were no streets it was a pedestrian only island, that the truth of Gabriel's words hit him. Under the bright sun, in the middle of a crowded beach, two men chased each other over the sand. Blaine's eyes were drawn to them as playful shrieks floated over the din of the other beach goers. Then he saw it, one of the men caught the other around the waist and with a laugh planted a kiss firmly on his lips. Before the kiss could end, he grabbed Kurt's hand and gestured over to them. Kurt's smile lit his entire face. "Welcome to Fire Island," Gabriel whispered with pride.

Before the weekend was over, Kurt and Blaine both knew that this was their new haven, their new home and had a place to stay until they could find a house of their own.

They ended up settling in Cherry Grove in a small but open house. One of Gabriel's friends was more than eager to lend his expertise as a real estate agent. It was a little disheartening that only Kurt's name would be on the deed, but Blaine chose to focus on the positive rather that dwell on what he couldn't change. Seeing Kurt swell with pride as he wrote a check for the total amount of the house (little was left in the account but that didn't matter to Kurt) made up for his anonymity in the process. Blaine sold his car, not needing it anymore and happily furnished their new home. They shared a bedroom and decorated another as a guest room, feeling free in the knowledge it would never have to be used as a disguise. The third room was set up as a studio for Kurt to work in.

They didn't spend much time inside, Kurt preferring to paint outside in the back yard or on the beach. Soon they became known around the island. Cherry Grove was while a place they could finally be themselves, open and honest, was not a paradise. They were still an oddity. They received many strange looks when they turned down the many proposals for flings or a third in their bed. The soon realized that even in the gay world they were seen as oddities. Most of their new friends and acquaintances preferred open relationships or having numerous lovers to monogamy. Blaine never regretted his decision to pair only with Kurt; he knew what life without Kurt by his side felt like and didn't feel the need for variety the others seemed to. He was happy when they began to be known as the 'old marrieds' around the island even if he knew that was something they would probably never be able to do. So, while not perfect the two were content.

Kurt painted and created, working on building a substantial collection. It was almost like being back at the farm. However, while Kurt was busy throwing himself back in his art, Blaine started to become restless. As the months wore on, he felt useless, nothing to do, not able to contribute to their life beside with his love was beginning to eat at him. Kurt was receiving a stipend from Gabriel in anticipation for his opening. They were content with what they had, but Blaine still grew antsy.

All that ended in a whirlwind of a day. It started with a trip into town to grab some groceries while Kurt was holed up in his studio working on yet another painting. As he walked down the boardwalk a large paper bag in each hand he noticed a sign hanging in the window on a building; 'Help Wanted'. He knew the building well, like he did most of the small community, it was the Cherry Grove Gazette. Unmindful of his packages he pushed his way through the door and began talking to the older gentleman inside.

George Kaufman was wary at first at taking on this barely nineteen-year-old college drop out. However, the more he talked to him the more he felt like he would be the right choice. It was hard finding writers for his small newspaper, Cherry Grove was not the place that most young writers flocked to. He saw eagerness in Blaine Anderson, along with a passion for writing few others had. So not even two hours from putting the sign in his window after making the decision that he was getting too old to traipse around the island looking up stories, he shook a man's hand offering him the job.

Blaine bounded into the house, and shoved the groceries on the kitchen counter before rushing to the studio calling Kurt's name as he flung the door open. Kurt stared at him with panic, but Blaine was so caught up in his enthusiasm he didn't notices. He lunged toward Kurt pulling him into a hug and spinning him around, unmindful of the paint he was smearing on his shirt, all the while babbling, "Oh my god, Kurt you'll never guess."

When he finally set Kurt down and looked him in the eyes, Kurt had gotten over the shock of Blaine bursting into the room. "I got a job," Blaine crowed before launching into the story.

That night as they sat at their small table eating a celebratory meal, their phone rang. Not many people had the number, only John, Gabriel, Puck and Quinn, Judy, Carole, and Cooper. Blaine never would have imagined what the phone call was about.

"Hey Squirt." Cooper practically yelled over the line. After a few pleasantries, Cooper finally got to the reason he called. "So while we were packing, I found something in your old room. I know I probably shouldn't have read it, but well... you never really talked to be when you were here and I was... I was curious dammit. Anyway, it was good, I mean not the kind of story I would normally read, but the writing was fantastic."

"Um, Thanks Coop?" Blaine said at a loss for why his brother felt the need to spend so much money on a phone call when he could have just written to him about invading his privacy and praising what he found.

"That's not all. I showed it to one of the guys here who knows a guy. And... they want to publish it. Gay books are not big sellers but they do alright."

Things were looking up to Kurt and Blaine at last.