Cruel Summer
KurtsieKalanai
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Cruel Summer: Chapter 11 - Identity Mad


T - Words: 5,813 - Last Updated: Nov 16, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Jul 26, 2012 - Updated: Nov 16, 2012
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Author's Notes: Word Count: 5,685/?Rating: PG-13Author's Note: Well guys, this is such a great journey! We are truly overwhelmed with thanks. I never imagined that my little story would grow so much! The main points are still there, but we have fleshed it out so much! And it is getting even bigger! This could be a season of its own! We still plan on doing s4...Believe me, we have plans...BIG plans. (Thank you, Quinn). This chapter is a fun one, at least at first, cause things are about to get serious. Also a reminder that we are going on hiatus for a week (August 27) since I have surgery. If I feel better before, I will post.Disclaimer time! Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, everyone would have been seniors and somehow in NYC. Second, we don't own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. We try to stick to canon the best we can, however. Characters may be OOC, but there are reasons why, as you will soon see. Evolving characters, FTW!!Thanks: The incomparable Wayne Kotke and the Gleekast family. Also, if anyone from the cast or crew of Glee is reading, thank you so much for this wonderful universe. You all truly inspire me to be a better person and writer. And of course, all our wonderful readers. So please, leave feedback if you can.

 

 

After eating the awesome breakfast Carole had made – well, brunch really, considering how late it was – Kurt and Finn were found in the family room playing on Finn’s beloved X-Box.

Rachel was upstairs on Finn’s desktop. She was supposed to be logging into Facebook and inviting the gang over, but she had gotten distracted with looking at apartments in New York. She was searching for a two bedroom with a doorman and parking spaces for at least three cars for under a $1000.00 a month. The search was a bit unproductive, but she knew with perseverance and positive thinking, the right place could be located. Of course, it would also need a view of Central Park and an elevator.

Blaine was assisting Carole with cleanup, and while Kurt had tried helping with the tidying, Blaine pushed him back into the family room telling him to stay out.

“Oh, how romantic. My very own househusband,” teased Kurt, giving Blaine a small peck on the cheek.

“You wish,” retorted Blaine.

“Actually, I do,” said Kurt with a wicked smile. He turned and walked away with a wave.

“Make sure you blow yourself up several times for me!” called Blaine from the kitchen. Kurt shot the middle finger to his boyfriend.

Blaine laughed back, said, “Dream on!” and he rejoined Carole in the kitchen before Kurt could make another comment. “Hah! Got the last word in this time!” Blaine said to no one in particular.

“What’s that, dear?” Carole asked absentmindedly.

“Nothing,” Blaine replied. He picked up a towel and went to work drying dishes.

Finn was sitting in Burt’s armchair, so Kurt sat on the floor beside him and grabbed a controller.

“You don’t need to sit on the floor, Kurt. There are seats everywhere,” advised Finn.

“You play your way and I’ll play mine,” said Kurt haughtily.

Finn rolled his eyes. “Well, aren’t WE testy?” he said with a smile. “Anyhow, I made you a character, and I gave you some basic equipment. We can start you off slow. So that button is to shoot your gun, that one is to throw a grenade, and that one up there is to change your equipment,” he explained as he pointed out all of the buttons on the controller.

“So is there an option to change my person thingie’s outfit? Cause THAT is ugly!” said Kurt as he pointed to his character on the screen. He had temporarily reverted back to his fashionista way of thinking.

"Kurt, just play the game," Finn said, exasperated. As an afterthought, he added, “Avatar. It’s called an avatar.”

“Fine! Although I don’t know how you can expect me to kill things in that getup,” Kurt huffed and started pressing random buttons. “So I shoot like this?” he asked. He was playing a versus game with Finn and proceeded to shoot Finn’s avatar right in the face.

“Dude! What the hell? Give me a chance to get into position!” yelled Finn.

“What?” Kurt exclaimed. “I was just testing out my controls! It wouldn’t be very fair if I didn’t know what I was doing, right?”

“Whatever. It’s still not cool,” whined Finn and reset the game. “Okay, let’s try again.”

They loaded into the same map, and Finn was about to move into position when Kurt shot him again from behind. Kurt started laughing maniacally. Evil Kurt had surfaced. “Torturing Finn through video games is so intoxicating!” he thought to himself gleefully.

“Kurt!” thundered Finn. “I said wait until I get into position! You’re cheating!”

Kurt put his hands up in mock surrender and said, “All’s fair in love and war, dear brother… or something like that.”

“Okay, now you’re just messing with me!” accused Finn, and Kurt just grinned at him.

Finn reset the game yet again and Kurt allowed his brother to get into position, the big baby.

“NOW can I shoot you?” asked Kurt. He was actually having fun playing this game, but truthfully, he was having more fun tormenting his brother. He had always wished he could have moments like this with a sibling. He decided that they would have to schedule more male bonding moments in the future since it looked like they were both going to be stuck in Lima for a while.

Blaine finished up with the cleaning, bid Carole adieu and went to join the boys in the family room. He stepped over Kurt on the floor and accidently-on-purpose brushed up against Kurt with his leg. Kurt lost his concentration and complained, “Hey Blaine, you messed up my shot!”

Finn responded, “All is fair in war and stuff, Kurt.”

“Finn, the phrase is all’s fair in love and… oh, never mind!” Kurt said, sticking out his tongue at Finn and blowing him up.

“Hey! Not fair, Kurt!” Finn cried.

Blaine laughed and sat in the chair beside Finn. Kurt slid back so he was leaning against the front of the chair in between Blaine’s knees. Blaine leaned over and kissed the top of Kurt’s head, taking care not to mess his spikes. “Having fun?” he asked his boyfriend.

“Kurt’s cheating,” Finn grumbled. “He keeps ambushing me before I’m ready.”

“Hey, I’m simply taking whatever advantage is afforded to me,” explained Kurt. Blaine nodded, completely understanding what his boyfriend was saying.

“Kurt said what now?” asked Finn.

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, “Home court advantage, Finn. Jeez.”

“Bro, that’s not home court advantage. THAT is cheating,” Finn argued.

“You say tomato, I say to-mah-to,” Kurt said nonchalantly. “Right Blaine?”

Blaine was in his space-out zone thinking about random things and was ignoring Kurt.

Kurt tapped Blaine on the leg, bringing him out of his reverie, and asked, “Whatcha doing?”

“Oh, nothing. Carole wanted me to make a shopping list of stuff I liked since I was staying here,” he lied. He didn’t want Kurt to know the plans for later that day, at least not yet. “She’s going shopping later.”

“Well, that’s nice of her!” said Kurt, squeezing his boyfriend’s knee. He turned back to the game and found Finn trying to sneak up to him. “I don’t think so, Big Boy!” he exclaimed and rolled his avatar out of the way, spun around and threw a grenade. Finn was bested again. Finn threw down the controller but grinned at his brother.

“Big Boy?” snickered Blaine.

“Sorry, I guess I need to brush up on my insults, Blainers,” said Kurt sarcastically. Finn snorted. “I think I’d rather play like this though,” Kurt added, gesturing to the screen. “I don’t think blowing myself up all the time would be that much fun. Kicking Finn’s ass is so much better! I’m getting you back for sophomore year, brother o’ mine!”

Blaine mumbled something unintelligible and continued making notes in the notepad. “It’s fair play, I suppose,” he thought. Like Rachel’s shoe to Kurt’s head, Blaine was never going to hear the end of “blowing himself up.”

Finn looked at Kurt in a new light. “He was actually pretty good at this!” he thought. “Maybe I’ll start a league with Kurt, Puck, Sam, and Blaine. That would be an awesome way to pass the hot summer days, except that Sam was planning to spend time with his family in Kentucky for summer vacation. So it would have to be the four of us. Or maybe we could all set up an online league. That was always fun! I’ll ask the folks to buy Kurt his own X-Box for an early Christmas present! That would be the perfect gift! Speaking of Sam, I didn’t see him last night.

“Guys, has anyone seen Sam lately? I just realized I haven’t seen him in a while,” Finn asked.

“He spent the night at Rory’s,” informed Carole from the door. She was drying her hands on a dishtowel.

Glad someone is looking out for Sam,” Finn thought. “I really need to get better at keeping track of things… um, people.”

The men were about to return to their game when they heard Rachel call from upstairs. “Kurt, dear? Blaine? Can you come upstairs please?” she asked a little too sweetly. “NOW?” she added a little too forcefully.

“What did I do now?” asked Kurt, knowing he was about to feel the wrath of Rachel.

Blaine just tensed behind him. “I don’t think it’s you, babe. I think I’m in trouble.”

Kurt put down the controller and slowly twisted around to look at Blaine. He squinted and asked, “What did you do, Blaine?”

“Nothing!” Blaine squeaked and stood up, stepping over his boyfriend.

“What… did… you… do?” Kurt insisted while grabbing Blaine’s leg. Blaine shook him loose and darted out of the room. Kurt followed, but not before Finn blew Kurt’s avatar up with a grenade.

Kurt spun around to face his brother. “Finn!” he shrieked. “You wait right there! We’re having a rematch!”

“Karma is a bitch, dude,” snarked Finn. Kurt sighed heavily, rolled his eyes and followed Blaine up the stairs.

Once Kurt arrived upstairs and entered Finn’s room, he discovered his ever-adorable boyfriend, and again-best-friend having a bit of a stand-off. Kurt was shocked! Rachel adored Blaine and never got mad at him. He figured that Rachel still had a bit of a crush on Blaine and actually called her on it several times. She denied it, of course, but he knew Blaine made a better singing partner for the more traditional boy/girl duets. Kurt didn’t really worried about it much. He had won the curly-haired man, and he wasn’t letting go. Besides, it wasn’t even an issue anymore. Rachel was Finn-obsessed lately.

Rachel had just about perfected her “bitch please” look. It seemed that Kurt was a good teacher. Blaine looked like he was a little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

Rachel hissed between her teeth, “Blaine, please tell your boyfriend what you did!”

“I’m sorry, Rach,” Blaine said sheepishly. “Please don’t slap me or throw a shoe at me!”

She gave a sharp look to Kurt and demanded, “You told him about the shoe? And what does he mean by slapping him? I have never slapped anyone in my life! Unlike Santana.”

Blaine looked down and coughed, “Bullshit!”

“Blaine, what did you do?” repeated Kurt. They weren’t leaving the room without an answer. Blaine blushed a deep pink and shook his head.

“Kurt, you do remember that little incident this morning, right?” she asked her best friend.

“Yes…why?” Kurt answered, wondering what she was getting at. All of a sudden, a look of horror dawned on his face. Blaine tried taking off but Kurt grabbed onto his arm, holding tight.

“Well, I had to work on a personal project that involved logging into Facebook…” Rachel started.

“You didn’t!” exclaimed Kurt, looking at his boyfriend accusingly. Blaine just looked down and tried not to laugh.

“Our resident gay prankster here decided to take a picture of the moment a few minutes before that delightful misunderstanding… while we were asleep,” she continued. “And he uploaded it to our favorite social site.”

“Blaine!” yelled Kurt. “Why would you do that??”

Blaine couldn’t hold it in anymore. He started laughing heartily and struggled to get free from Kurt’s iron grip. He could be so strong when he wanted to! Kurt just wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind and held on tight.

“I couldn’t resist! You were both there and so cute and adorable, and I just couldn’t resist sharing it with the world. Please forgive me?” Blaine asked, trying not to laugh harder.

“Rachel, do you have your phone?” asked Kurt.

Rachel held up her pink bedazzled phone and said, “Yes, why?”

“Take a picture of Blaine, please,” he asked simply.

“No!” whispered Blaine. He looked terrible! His hair was sticking up everywhere and he was wearing sweats. Kurt couldn’t do that to him! He still had another year at McKinley to deal with! The slushies would be endless! After Rachel took the picture, Kurt let his boyfriend go.

Blaine rubbed his arms and whined, “Seriously, Kurt. You can be strong when you want to. That hurt!”

“Sorry, Blaine,” said Kurt, feeling terrible that he might have hurt his boyfriend. “Rachel, have that picture on standby. I need to see the one that Blaine posted before I make a decision.”

“I said I was sorry!” cried Blaine. He swore to himself that he would never pull another prank on these two again. At least not this month. Next month, there were no promises.

Rachel turned Finn’s monitor so Kurt could see it. The picture showed Kurt and Rachel very close, with their arms and legs around each other, fast asleep. At least they looked kinda cute doing it. The caption read “Bosom Buddies.” There were several comments under the picture and several shares.

Awww… I am about to barf. – Santana Lopez

My cute little sexy vampire unicorn likes girls!  - Brittany S Pearce

Klaine is out, Hummelberry is in! Good one, Hummel! – Noah Puckerman

Aww, that has to be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life! – Tina Cohen-Chang

Dude… - Sam Evans

Toooooo cuuuuuute! – Sugar Motta

I’m taking this back with me to Ireland! – Rory Flanagan

This is totally going on my blog! – Jacob Ben Israel

Kurt was about to turn back to his boyfriend when one more comment popped up:

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My Brother stole my Fiancée! I want satisfaction. I demand a duel, X-Box style!! - Finn Hudson

Kurt heard Finn downstairs laughing his ass off. They looked down the stairs and Finn was looking up holding his phone. “That has to be the best picture in the history of pictures… ever!” he yelled up the stairs. “Mom! Mom, come look at this!” he said as left the stairs.

Kurt facepalmed and looking at Rachel, said, “Okay, upload the picture, Rach.” Kurt gave Blaine a dirty look and left the room. Rachel laughed gleefully and turned to her phone. She uploaded Blaine’s picture with the caption “Bad Morning.”

Blaine was really worried that he had pissed off Kurt. Really, really, worried. He ran to Kurt’s bedroom and found him sitting on his bed with his back to Blaine. Kurt had his face in his hands and his shoulders were shaking.

Oh god, I made him cry again,” thought Blaine frantically. It was the last thing they needed right now. Would Kurt see this as a whole new set of traumas he would have to conquer?  Blaine felt a new jolt of fear. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. Dammit! I was just trying to cheer everyone up!

Blaine rushed over to his boyfriend and sat on the floor in front of him. He brought down Kurt’s hands to find him in tears. But they weren’t tears of sadness or embarrassment. They weren’t even tears of anger. They were tears of barely suppressed laughter. He was trying to hold it in so much, it almost looked painful. Blaine let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh my god, Kurt. I thought I made you cry. I’m so glad you’re okay,” said Blaine, hugging his laughing boyfriend.

“I can’t breathe!” cried Kurt. He was laughing so hard. “Blaine, I love you so much! You know that, right?”

Blaine looked at him oddly. Ummm, that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He thought that Kurt would make him take down the picture as soon as he found out about it, or maybe he would yell at him or something. “Oh my god! I made Kurt snap!” Blaine worried. “Crap! Crap! Crap!

Screwing up some major courage, Blaine asked, “Babe, are you okay?”

Kurt brushed the tears from his made up eyes and said, “Of course I am! The last couple days have really sucked, and you did that to cheer me up. It worked! I think Rachel might be a little miffed, but she’ll get over it.”

“No I won’t!” yelled Rachel from the next room. She popped her head around the door to Kurt’s room and started laughing hysterically. “Oh, Blaine!” she said while holding on to her side.

What’s up with these crazy people?” Blaine wondered as he looked from Rachel to Kurt.

Kurt walked up to Blaine and put his arms around his boyfriend. “Oh yeah,” he whispered in his ear. “I saw the picture after I took my shower, and I showed Rachel on my phone when you weren’t looking. We just wanted to get back at ya. All that?” He gestured at the other room. “Preplanned. You’re welcome,” he said, kissed Blaine on the cheek, and walked over to Rachel.

“You got got!!!” she said mockingly as she pointed at Blaine. Rachel and Kurt went into Finn’s room and locked the door. 

Blaine was impressed. He was going to have to step up his game for next time. Kurt didn’t know it yet, but he had unintentionally started a prank war he was going to lose. “Blaine for the victory! Yes! Game on,” Blaine thought, shaking his head. He was so going to get them back. Wait! What about the picture they just took of him? His hair!

“Guys? Guys? Umm, guys?” Blaine called, going over to Finn’s door and upon finding it locked, gave it a few bangs.

Both Rachel and Kurt opened the door. “WHAT?” they yelled at Blaine together.

“The picture of me?” Blaine asked, looking a little forlorn.

“Oh, it’s already gotten several comments,” Kurt cheerfully assured him. “Everybody loves it!”

Blaine groaned. “Really?”

“Yep. I’m going back downstairs to play X-Box with Finn. I suggest you get showered and fix your hair! And then I might have Rachel take your picture back down,” Kurt promised, giving a Blaine a quick hug and a hair ruffle where he found a hidden gem. “Oh look, more popcorn!”

“You should see what’s in my pants, Kurt! Thank you very much,” Blaine responded sarcastically.

“I’ve seen it, and it’s very nice, Blaine,” Kurt answered back with a smarmy look.

“That’s not what I meant at all, Kurt!” Blaine answered, clearly flustered.

Kurt started down the stairs. Blaine yelled after him, “Fine! I’m going to hit the showers now.”

Kurt turned around and laughed at him, asking, “A cold shower, Blaine?”

Blaine turned red but refused to answer. “Okay, enough!” he thought. “I’m not going to win this war of double entendres.”

He turned around and ended up right in Rachel’s arms. It was a little bit spooky because he didn’t hear her creep up behind him. She gave him a big hug. “Sorry, Blainers, but I couldn’t resist. I knew it would help cheer up Kurt,” she apologized. She looked to make sure Kurt had gone back downstairs to play X-Box with Finn. “I sent the invite to everyone for later today before I called you up. Operation: Kurtervention starts at 5:00 pm tonight!”

“Kurtervention?” Blaine asked, confused.

“A Kurt Intervention! I mean, it’s not like he’s on drugs or anything, but I wanted him to know how much we loved him,” she said and showed him her phone. “See? The invitation is even called Operation: Kurtervention. I have it set to secret so Kurt can’t find out about it, and I told everyone to keep their mouths shut. I even have the perfect song! I need you to sing lead.”

Rachel explained her plans to Blaine and left him with a new song to learn. Finally, Blaine was able to take his shower! When he undressed, tiny crushed up pieces of popcorn scattered all over the floor. Blaine debated over leaving them there to torture Kurt, something he would never do at home because he would get into big trouble, or clean them up. His good nature won, and he gathered them all up, saving them for a future purpose. He couldn’t stick with his vow to not pull any more pranks. Kurt started it, after all! The Warblers had always told him it was imperative that he win the prank war at any cost, or at the very least have the last move. There was honor at stake!

After the shower and the ever important tame-at-least-some-of-the-curls hair ritual, Blaine dressed. He scooped the broken popcorn pieces, deposited them in Kurt’s pillow case and listened to the song Rachel picked out a few times to get to know his part. It really was a good song, perfect for the situation! Rachel required him to get Kurt out of the house before the gathering, and he knew the perfect place to go.

Blaine ran down the stairs to join the rest of gang in the family room. Kurt was legitimately kicking Finn’s ass in the game. There was no sneaking or cheating involved. He took to the game like a fish in water.

“Blaine! Come play! You can help me beat Finn!” exclaimed Kurt. “Rachel can play on Finn’s team.” He pressed some buttons and Finn’s tank blew up. “Gotcha again! That’s 5-0!”

Finn cursed and looked over to Blaine. “Your boyfriend is a killing machine!” He grinned and added, “I can’t wait to get him to play against Puck. He won’t know what hit him.”

“Less talk, more play, Hudson,” growled Kurt. Blaine grinned at them. He never expected Kurt to be able to play video games and play well. Maybe he had discovered some sort of hidden talent. Carole left to do her shopping, and the three men passed around the controller, taking turns playing each other. Kurt tried to get Rachel to play, but she only succeeded in blowing herself up.

“It seems you have adopted the Blaine Anderson style of play, Berry!” laughed Kurt.

It was so nice to see Kurt in such a good mood. Maybe we’re finally coming out of the woods,” Blaine thought optimistically.

At around 4:30, Rachel gave Blaine a knowing look and said, “Kurt, you know what would be lovely? A tea, one of the herbal ones, from the Lima Bean.”

“We have lots in the kitchen, Rach. Go help yourself!” said Kurt, trying to concentrate on the game.

“But I want a Lima Bean tea!” she whined with a cute pout in her voice. “And I bet Blaine would love to get a medium drip.” She stared hard at Blaine, prompting him further.

Blaine paused the game to the protest of the other two men. “What a great idea, Rachel!” he said with a little too much enthusiasm. Kurt looked at him like he had three heads. “I’ll go get us one! Kurt, come with me! I’ll buy you a mocha.”

“I’m busy, Blaine!” said Kurt, unpausing the game. Rachel gave Finn a look and Finn paused the game again to the chagrin of a protesting Kurt.

“That’s a good idea, Rachel and Blaine!” Finn said. He spoke in a strange halting voice like he was reading a script or something. “I want to take a break, anyhow. Kurt, why don’t you go on a coffee run with Blaine, then we can continue later. I’ll even invite Puck over. How does that sound?”

“Sure, I guess,” said Kurt, shrugging. “Everyone was acting really weird,” he thought suspiciously. “Sure, I can take a break. However, I’m really enjoying the game! It’s a good outlet for my frustrations. Well, if Finn could get Puck to come over and play, then I’m all for it!” He was looking forward to showing off his new skills to Puck.

As Kurt and Blaine left, Carole returned from shopping. It was perfect timing! Rachel and Finn got to work setting up the Kurtervention. Everyone was going to arrive shortly and there was so much to do!!

******

“So you say that I’m a massage chair addict, Kurt. Shall I start calling you a gaming addict? Next thing I know, you’re going to start playing those Online Role Playing games and I’ll become an MMO widower,” teased Blaine as they returned to the house. Blaine had taken his time driving back from the Lima Bean, buying a little more time for guest to arrive. Naturally, Blaine and Kurt talked about Kurt’s newly discovered talent. Well, Kurt did. Blaine, for the most part, just listened.

“Don’t be silly, Blaine. I have room in my heart for all of you! And what’s an MMO? Maybe Finn can show me,” replied Kurt. He noticed all the cars in the driveway and looked around, asking, “Why are all these cars around here?”

Blaine ignored him and said nervously, “Why don’t we go into the backyard and lay on the hammock. It’s such a nice day out!” He had texted Rachel once they pulled into the driveway so everyone would know that the couple had arrived.

“Ooooh! What are you proposing, Blaine?” asked Kurt and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Kurt, I appreciate your new spontaneous world view, but I don’t think your neighbors would appreciate the show,” laughed Blaine. He looked in the backyard and could see that everyone was trying to hide around the corner. Luckily, Kurt wasn’t paying attention.

“You’re such a party poop,” Kurt mumbled, pretending to pout.

As they entered the backyard, Kurt leaned in to give Blaine a kiss. It was a bit awkward as he was carrying both his and Rachel’s drinks.

“SURPRISE!” came a yell from the crowd in the backyard.

“HOLY SHIT!!!” screamed Kurt and tossed the two drinks in the air. They landed with a splat on the lawn. Both Kurt and Blaine jumped out of the way just in time, before the splash of the drinks could stain their pants.

Kurt looked around to see all of his friends smiling at him. Even some of the adults were there! “If you’re all trying to kill me today, I think you’ve almost succeeded,” panted a slightly peeved Kurt. If there was nothing else in the world Kurt disliked more, he hated to look stupid and the surprise put him in a bizarre position. Was he to be happy that everyone was here or annoyed that they had caught him screaming out an obscenity while sounding like a little girl at the annual Halloween Haunted House Hayride?

Everyone looked at him, shocked. Rory did a quick sign of the cross, totally scandalized at Kurt’s outburst. Puck and Santana looked at him like proud parents.

“I think our little gay is growing up,” said Santana to Puck, pretending to wipe away a tear. Puck just let out a chuckle but completely agreed with his ex.

After catching his breath and allowing his pulse and voice to come down from the upper stratosphere, Kurt said with a grin, “What’s this all about?”

Rachel walked up to him and said, “We all wanted to let you know how much we loved you, Kurt. So I called everyone together for this little gathering of friends.”

Sue Sylvester walked forward from the back of the crowd. Carole had invited all the adults she knew who were close to Kurt. Even though the school year was over, Coach Sylvester still donned her signature track suit, this time in a dark purple with white stripes. She had made a few adjustments to allow for her ever expanding pregnant belly. She put her hand on Kurt’s shoulder and said, “Porcelain, Little Miss Drama Queen called us all here for this ‘Kurtervention,’ as she called it, to show you how much we care. And I think it’s needed, since you look like the love child of Freddy Mercury and Adam Lambert.”

Kurt was surprised, because Sue referring to him as a love child of that pairing was a compliment. But then Kurt mentally went back over all of Sue’s words to the one that bothered him. Kurtervention. Uh oh. That did it! Kurt’s smile melted, and everyone else pretended to do something else. They knew what was coming. “What are you talking about? What’s a Kurtervention?” Kurt demanded while turning to Rachel and Blaine for an explanation.

Rachel stepped up proudly, ready to take credit. “A Kurtervention! A Kurt Intervention. It was a clever name I thought up. We all know you’re going through this phase, and the New Directions are here to help you get through it!”

Kurt’s eyes flashed angrily. “You think this is a phase?” he asked. He could feel the anger rising. He had to do something so he wouldn’t blow it again. This time he wasn’t going to run, at least not yet. He was going to face this head on.

Rachel tried to put her arm through Kurt’s, but he yanked away angrily. Rachel sensed another fight was brewing and she was ready for it. “Now you listen here, Kurt Hummel! We know who you really are, and this isn’t it. We are here to do whatever it takes to turn you back to the talented and fashionable Kurt we all know and adore.”

Kurt shot her a dirty look, and Rachel realized that it might have been the wrong choice of words. “Does everyone else feel that way?” he asked angrily, staring at his friends. They all looked at the ground, refusing to answer and leaving a taken-aback Rachel to answer Kurt.

Rachel looked around, shocked to learn the rest of her team wasn’t there to back her up. “What I mean to say is…”

“Rachel, I really thought you had learned your lesson yesterday, but I guess you haven’t. The Kurt you knew before?” he said, pointing back to the house. “He’s gone. Forever! He was a wimp. Everyone walked over him, and it caused him nothing but pain and misery. This is a much more confident, sure Kurt. I’m taking shit from no one! If you can’t accept it, I don’t need you.” He turned to everyone else and yelled, “I don’t need any of you! What kind of friends are you anyway? You can’t even stand with your friend and former teammate,” he added bitterly.

For once, Rachel didn’t want to cause a scene so she turned away and started to walk towards her friends, who all looked uncomfortable. Kurt wasn’t done with her.

Kurt followed her and grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around. “Rachel, I wanna talk to you.”

Rachel spat, "The last time we talked, Mr. Hummel, you reduced me to tears. I promise you it won't happen again."

All of a sudden Kurt started to sing while walking around Rachel:

“Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome. I could be loathsome.
I guess I'm a little bit shy.
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?”

He started walking around the backyard, singing to the rest of the New Directions and adults, avoiding Carole and Blaine. They all looked at him uncomfortably:

“I tried to be like Grace Kelly. But all her looks were too sad.
So I tried a little Freddie. I’ve gone identity mad!”

“I could be brown. I could be blue. I could be violet sky.
I could be hurtful. I could be purple,
I could be anything you like.
Gotta be green. Gotta be mean. Gotta be everything more.
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!”

Rachel stomped up to him and grabbed his arm. “Kurt, getting angry doesn't solve anything," she said. He pushed her away and continued:

“How can I help it. How can I help it.
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby. Hello my baby. Putting my life on the brink.
Why don't you like me. Why don't you like me.
Why don't you like yourself?
Should I bend over? Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?”

He sang the chorus one more time, getting in everyone’s face, but not touching them. He challenged each one of his friends and not one of them was willing to step up to the challenge. They were frankly a little bit scared. Even Puck, the resident badass, was a little freaked out.

Blaine was ready to give up. They had come so far and he was reverting back to day one again. Kurt moved to the bottom of the steps and finished the song with another chorus:

“Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want.”

As he finished, he stood at on the bottom step, glaring at everyone. “So before I leave this ‘Kurtervention’,” he said, using air quotes for the Kurtervention, “is there anything else I should know from my so-called friends?”

Rachel decided she wasn’t going to go down alone. She marched up to him and exclaimed, “Well, Blaine thought it was a good idea! Didn’t you, Blaine?” She looked back, expecting backup from her second best friend. Several people in the crowd murmured, “Oooooh.” Blaine looked mortified and put his face in his hands in defeat.

Kurt looked at his boyfriend, feeling betrayed. The one thing he feared would happen just did. Blaine had turned on him. Rather than screaming, he said simply, “I hope everyone has a pleasant evening. I have to go.” He calmly walked up the stairs while a shocked New Directions looked on. He entered the house and slammed the door shut. Once he was inside, Kurt stomped upstairs to his room, perceiving it as his last sanctuary. He had to get away. Not just to his room. He needed to get out of Lima. Blaine chased after Kurt into the house, slightly terrified of the new and unknown direction Kurt was taking.

 

End Notes: A/N Finn loves his exclamation marks. Who knew? Song is Grace Kelly by Mika. I heard this song and instantly thought of Kurt. Next chapter: New Directions Battle Royale time!!! And yes, I (KK) am a gamer.

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