Kurt’s first phone call was to Robert, to get the name of the adoption attorney he and Phil had used. The call woke Robert up, because 9 AM was a reasonable time to call on most days, but Kurt had completely forgotten that it was Sunday. Kurt listened to Robert’s squeals and congratulations and promises to bring a homecooked meal for them sometime next week (it seemed like a weird thing to do, but Kurt didn’t ask why), and then swore him to secrecy until they were ready to make an announcement.

Kurt’s second phone call was to the attorney, who answered on the first ring. She listened, and then Kurt put her on speakerphone so Blaine and Brittany could also listen to her explain the process and the timeline and her fees. She e-mailed the paperwork to Blaine so they could get started right away. It was weeks later before Kurt remembered that most people don’t work on Sundays.

The third phone call was to Burt.

“Hi there, kiddo! How’s your weekend going?”

“Um, good,” Kurt said. He was too tired to figure out how to say this properly, so he just came out with it. “Blaine helped deliver a baby in an elevator and now we’re adopting it.”

“Kurt, if you’re trying to play a trick on me, you have to realize that I’m not quite that gullible. Try and come up with something a bit more plausible next time, would you?”

“It’s not a trick, dad. I’m telling the truth.”

Burt snorted. “April Fools Day was a couple weeks back.”

“Dad, I’m serious. I’ve been awake for something like 30 hours straight now and I can barely see straight, let alone try to convince you. It’s Brittany’s baby and she was coming back to our apartment and the elevator got stuck and she went into labor, and now we’re all at the hospital and it’s this beautiful, perfect baby boy, you should see him, he’s so tiny, and we just got off the phone with the adoption attorney, and it’s all going to be done by the end of this week.”

“Are you shittin’ me?”

“Here, hang on …” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s cell phone and snapped a picture of the baby with Blaine and Brittany in the background, and sent it to his father’s e-mail address. “Okay, go to the computer and check your e-mail.”

“Why should I check my … holy crap, you’re tellin’ the truth! Carole! Carole! Come look at this! Kurt and Blaine are adopting a baby! We’re gonna be grandparents!”

Kurt heard Carole shout something in the background, and he smiled wearily.

“We’ll come visit, help you guys out with everything, I’ll see how soon we can get tickets and Carole can get the time off work, and—”

“You don’t have to do that, we’re fine,” Kurt said.

Burt laughed. “Oh, Kurt, you have no idea what you’re gettin’ yourself into. It’s gonna be great, but the first few weeks are really rough. You’re gonna need some help, someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Kurt rubbed one hand across his face. “Okay, can we talk about it tonight or tomorrow? I am so tired, and there’s so much to do to get ready, I just … I can’t even think about it right now.”

“Sure, of course. Call us if you need anything, or if there’s any news.”

They’d booked their flight by the time Kurt called them back later that night.

“Blaine? Are you going to call your parents?” Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head. “Not until things are a bit more certain. I wouldn’t want to get their hopes up and … I would like to be less tired than this for that call, anyway.”

Kurt nodded. It could be a tightrope walk, with Blaine’s parents, sometimes. He really was not sure how they would react to this whole thing, and putting it away until later made sense.

The fourth call was to Rachel, and by that time, Kurt really could not bring himself to explain the whole thing again. “Do you have any plans for today?” he asked as soon as she picked up the phone.

“Nope! What’s up?”

“I need you to come to the hospital. Everyone’s absolutely fine, I promise, but I cannot tell this story again right now. Come prepared to spend a few hours, okay?”

“Oh my god, what happened? Is it Blaine? Is he okay?”

Kurt sighed. “I told you, everyone is perfectly fine. Blaine and I just need to go home and sleep, and … I’ll explain when you get here, okay? Call when you get here and I’ll come down and bring you up to the room.”

“Very mysterious today, aren’t you? I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

Kurt tossed the phone down on the couch, completely exhausted. “What is that smell? Oh … hmm.” He looked at Blaine. Blaine looked back at him. He looked at Brittany. She shrugged her shoulders.

Blaine pressed the nurse call button.

“Yes?” a voice said through the speaker.

“Hi … could you come teach us how to change a diaper?”

----------------------------------

“Kurt?” Rachel asked hesitantly. “The sign says Labor and Delivery Ward. Are you sure this is the right way?”

Kurt smiled, waving at the nurses as they walked past the reception desk.

“Kurt?”

He opened the door to the room and guided her inside, pressing gently on her shoulder.

“Brittany! Oh my god, hi!” Rachel squealed. She ran to the bed and gave her a hug, as well as she could with Brittany reclining at a 45-degree angle in the hospital bed.

Rachel’s eyes widened as she put two and two together. “Wait – Brittany, you had a baby?”

Brittany rolled her eyes. “No, silly. Kurt and Blaine had a baby. I just helped.”

Rachel spun around and gaped at Kurt. “You got Brittany to be a surrogate for you and you never even told me?”

Kurt shook his head. “No, it’s much weirder than that.”

Blaine giggled from the couch where he was sitting, holding the baby. Rachel noticed them for the first time. “Oh my god, a baby! It’s so adorable! Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Okay,” Kurt said. “I’m going to tell this story one more time, and then you’re babysitting for the rest of the afternoon.”