Blaine sounded exasperated as he talked into the phone. “No, they’re great offers. Fantastic shows, both of them. I just … I’m tired. I don’t know what I want to do. Can you hold them off for another week? I just need to rest and think for a while. I know they’re bugging you for an answer, I understand, I just … Thank you so much, you’re a doll.” He hung up the phone and sighed.

Kurt looked up from the stack of paperwork on the desk. It was giving him a headache and tying his stomach in knots at the same time, and now Blaine was upset about something too. “What’s wrong, hon?” Kurt asked.

Blaine leaned back against the wall of the office. “I might as well admit it. To myself, even. I’ve been thinking it for a while, but not letting myself really face it. I don’t want this anymore.  This high-powered New York life, performing in a show every single night and never getting to see you and the kids for more than a couple of hours a day. It was different when they were younger and they were around all morning, but this fall four of them will be in school, everyone but Fletcher, and … and don’t get me started on the schools.”

Kurt laughed bitterly. One stack of paper in front of him was kindergarten applications for Naomi, and the other was the much more complicated middle school applications for Colin. They wanted to send him to a school that specialized in math and science, but the pros and cons of the various schools available were dizzying and the price tags … they were grateful that they didn’t need to worry about money on a daily basis like many families did, that they could afford the best for their kids, but sending five children to private school for thirteen years and then college was not an easy thing, even for them. New York tuitions made Dalton Academy look like a bargain.

“The school thing is way more obnoxious and difficult than it has to be,” Kurt agreed. “But what can you do? It’s New York. There’s no real alternative.”

“That’s just it,” Blaine said. “It’s New York. It’s this lifestyle. It’s hardly getting to see our kids. Working all the time, and everything so expensive, and … I miss Taylor, everything seemed so much easier when she was here.”

Kurt nodded. Taylor had gotten married a year ago, when Fletcher was almost two. Her husband was a sweet, gentle, extremely smart man with the endlessly amusing name of Taylor. The two of them had moved to Denver – his hometown – right after the wedding to start a preschool with her childcare knowledge and his business degree. Kurt and Blaine were thrilled at her happiness, but they missed her more than either of them cared to admit. Their new nanny, Sarah, was very nice and excellent at her job, but she just wasn’t the same. Taylor was part of their family, and Sarah just … wasn’t.

“Sarah’s only been with us a year,” Kurt said. “It’s not fair to compare her to Taylor. Our family grew up with her, for ten years. Sarah will grow on us. Or if you don’t think she will, we could find someone new.”

Blaine shook his head. “That’s not it, though. I’m tired of all of it. I don’t want this lifestyle anymore. I … I want to give up the theater. I want us to leave New York, move somewhere else. Somewhere with a slower pace, where we can send our kids to public school. Or at least to private schools that don’t require you to sell your soul for the tuition and also donate huge sums every year. I want to have family dinners every night and take the kids to the park on weekend afternoons. I want to start relaxing and enjoying life.”

Kurt looked at him, shocked. New York had always been his dream. No, that wasn’t entirely accurate. New York had always been Kurt’s dream. But he hadn’t stopped to think about it for a few years. He hadn’t thought about whether the reality of his life in New York matched up with the expectations he’d had as a teenager in Ohio. Or whether he’d lived that dream long enough, and was ready to move on to a new one.

Blaine’s dream hadn’t been New York, not specifically. It had been performing. Which he was now saying he wanted to give up.

“Blaine, honey … I’m trying to understand. Performing has always been your dream. Being up there on stage … and you’re at the top of your game. You could be cast in pretty much any show you wanted. Your reviews are always fantastic, and … who will you be if you’re not performing? What will you do?”

Blaine’s eyes shone. “Remember back in high school and college, I used to spend hours just sitting at the piano or with my guitar, fooling around and making stuff up? I want to have time for that again. Write songs, and maybe perform at small venues … record an album if enough people like it, I don’t know. Broadway is great, but it’s not me. It’s telling other people’s stories. I’m … I’m just tired of it. I want to find me again.”

“Is this a mid-life crisis?” Kurt asked jokingly.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Blaine sighed. “We should forget it. I can’t ask you to give up the opera and just move away with me to god knows where.”

Kurt tapped his pen on the desk thoughtfully, eyeing the stacks of school applications. “I don’t think I’d mind it so much,” he said. “I’ve been working two jobs for years now, the opera and the kids’ clothing business, and let’s face it, the fashion design is more interesting and has brought in more money for the past four years. I don’t need to be in New York to do kids’ fashion. And … maybe I could join a chorus or give concerts or something.” He laughed. “Maybe I could sing backup vocals on the songs you write.”

Blaine grinned at him. “I’ll write leads for you if you want them.”

“We’ll see,” Kurt said, smiling.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

“Are we really doing this?” Kurt asked.

“Let’s … start thinking about it. Planning. It’s a big decision to make based on one conversation.”

Kurt nodded. “Okay. But if this is what you want, I’m all in.”

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 They bought a huge, completely renovated house in Provincetown with a view of the water and enough rooms for each child to have their own. They spent the first month twirling around in the place at random, giddy over the huge amounts of space and the high ceilings and the fresh, clean air. They couldn’t believe it was really theirs.

They hired a new nanny, Abby, who was also a certified lifeguard so they’d feel safe when she took the kids swimming. She still wasn’t Taylor, but she was fantastic and they all got along great. With their new work arrangements, they only needed her during the day and occasional evenings when they went out, so she didn’t live with them.

Blaine gave his first performance of original music at a local coffee shop’s open mic night, carefully not telling anyone his last name. The crowd loved him. Kurt started a madrigals group, just for fun.

The kids were sad to leave their friends, but they were excited to live practically at the beach, omg!!!!! They fit in easily at their new schools and found new friends quickly.

They took weekend trips to New York whenever they felt like it, enjoying the city more now that it was not part of their daily existence. And they flitted off to Boston and Lima and even Los Angeles on a moment’s notice, now that they were both working for themselves and didn’t have to show up at a particular place at any particular time, most of the time. It was heavenly.

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One snowy night in January, the whole family was gathered around the fireplace, mugs of hot chocolate close at hand. Kurt looked up from the novel he was reading and watched the kids for a few minutes—Colin and Asher working on a model rocketship, Tess reading a fairy story she’d written to Naomi and Fletcher. Blaine was beside him on the couch, reading a magazine, leaning against Kurt’s side.

Kurt turned to his husband and spoke quietly. “If you’d told me when I was seventeen that this is how my life would turn out, I would have been horrified.”

Blaine smiled. “It’s not so bad, is it?”

Kurt laughed softly. “No. It’s perfect.”

“I never would have expected this either,” Blaine said. “But really, it’s just another version of the dream I’ve always had. Love and family and music and happiness.”

Kurt stifled a giggle, and said with a completely straight face, “Would you say that I make you feel like you’re living a teenage dream?”

Blaine laughed out loud, drawing the kids’ attention.

“What’s so funny, Daddy?” Naomi asked.

Blaine reached out and petted her hair. “Your Papa. He’s the best.”

She nodded seriously and the kids went back to their playing.

Blaine leaned his face close to Kurt’s ear. “Don’t ever look back,” he whispered.