At the beginning it was easy. It was fun and endearing to have a secret of this caliber together. They kept sending each other texts in school, making out in the car before and after school when they were in the garage and no one would see them, and spent a lot of time in their rooms cuddling and holding each other while watching movies or taking naps or simply enjoying being together. Their parents seemed to be happy that their boys got along so well and found confide in each other, and the worry they had felt for Blaine didn't come off as pronounced as usual.

It was now the last day of school before the Christmas holidays and all they could think about was that when the bell rang they would be able to go home and spend almost every minute together – and since their parents were out of town until the next morning they wouldn't have to hide in their rooms.

Glee club was a painfully long session of Rachel singing Christmas classics while Finn praised her and everyone else rolled their eyes but clapped. Santana and Brittany had hijacked the room's mistletoe so they were busy sucking each other's faces in a corner while Tina and Mike were doing the same. Blaine couldn't help himself from staring at Kurt's lips – they were sitting next to each other and Kurt was so close that all he had to do was stretch a little to meet him – but no.

"What are you looking at?" Kurt asked teasing when he felt a stare and turned his head to find Blaine's locked on his face.

"Nothing. I – I must've zoned out for a minute," he muttered shyly, his cheeks flushing and his eyes rushing to look away.

Luckily the bell rang and they all wished each other a happy Christmas with hugs and smiles. Blaine and Kurt went to their lockers to make sure they had what they needed for the holidays. When Kurt was done he went to wait for Blaine by his own.

"Hey," he said softly with a smile.

"Hey," Blaine smiled back.

He rushed a little more in finishing up and soon he closed the door and found Kurt looking up, a suction spreading in his stomach when he saw the object of his attention.

"Mistletoe," Kurt smiled.

I could just kiss him now. There's no one around and it would just be quick. Why can't I just kiss him whenever I want to? This is stupid, Blaine thought but forced himself to hold back.

"As soon as we come home you're gonna think the whole house is covered in mistletoe," Blaine whispered and kissed his cheek before he turned to walk for the exit.

That promise alone was enough to make Kurt grin broadly and follow him down the hall, eager to get to his car so they could go home quickly. The metal on the soles of his combat boots echoed throughout the deserted hallways and as Kurt reached the door he let the smell of Christmas freedom fill him.

xXx

Home was nice and warm. They were curled up on the couch in pajama pants and sweaters with hot tea and a plate of Kurt's homemade Christmas cookies. Cartoons were rolling over the screen but neither of the boys paid it any attention – they were far too absorbed in each other to let anything from outside intervene.

Kurt's scent was intoxicating. Blaine's senses didn't stand a chance when they were close like this. It was like he was creeping under his skin to spread through his body and possess him with his being.

"Mhm, I love it when you kiss me there," Kurt giggled as Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's neck.

Kurt was half lying, half sitting against a cushion pushed against the armrest of the couch with Blaine between his legs. Blaine started out by sitting up, resting his head against Kurt's chest, but as they slowly progressed into kissing instead of watching TV he twisted himself around and was now lying on his front against Kurt's belly.

"I love kissing you. There and everywhere else," Blaine mused and was happy that he had found a position where his pelvis wasn't pressed against Kurt. He appreciated their no-hands-down policy more and more each day, because as much as he loved being wrapped in Kurt's cuddles and kisses he was also a teenage boy, with teenage boy hormones and teenage boy drive.

"I was thinking... we could share bed tonight – if you want. Not like – I still think we should, you know, be tactful. But that one day after the party – I haven't been able to stop wondering how it would be to fall asleep with you and wake up with you again, without it being because of alcohol and when we can just – enjoy each other," Kurt suggested and worried his lower lip between his teeth.

It was true. When he went to bed at night he folded his arms and legs around his pillows and covers, closing his eyes and imagining it to be Blaine, and when he woke up in the morning he wanted to slide into Blaine's bed to hold around him and sneak under his arm, to seek for that closeness he loved so much when they were cuddling on their beds or the couch.

The suggestion came as a complete surprise to Blaine. He wanted it, he wanted it badly and he had wanted it for a long time. After they started being together it was like his sheets always smelled like Kurt, and it was heaven to be surrounded by that when he went to sleep at night – so to be curled up against the directly, warm source of that amazing scent could only make his sleep the best he had ever experienced.

"Yeah. I would love that. I like it when we take naps together, this would be good," Blaine smiled in agreement and put a peck to Kurt's lips.

The rest of the afternoon and the evening they stayed entangled in each other, hardly even bothering to get up for food or drinks, and the TV was only background noise as they stuck to kissing and talking about glee club and school and other random stuff that crossed their minds.

As the evening progressed and it slowly got late Kurt got up to go to the bathroom. Blaine curled up around the pillow they were using and smiled to himself by how amazing he was feeling, by how lucky he felt to be with Kurt despite everything that could be standing between them.

He twisted around and turned to lie on his back when he suddenly felt something. A vibrating. It wasn't his phone. His phone was lying on the table. It was Kurt's phone that was stuffed between the cushions of the sofa. Must have fallen out of his pocket, Blaine guessed and took the phone up to put it on the table.

He was just about to reach out to let it onto the coffee table next to his own when the display lit up again and something caught his eye. It was a text. Suddenly Blaine's stomach dropped and everything turned over inside him.

Chandler: "Hey hot stuff. Not coming online tonight? I miss your face."

Oh god. All blood vanished from Blaine's face and his eyes started stinging. He couldn't believe it. Kurt wasn't like that, he wouldn't do something like that to him. He had said that he didn't talk to Chandler anymore. He promised.

"Wanna go to bed, gorgeous?" Kurt mused and bent in over the backrest of the couch to press a kiss to Blaine's cheek from behind.

It didn't take him more than a second to figure out that something was wrong. Blaine didn't say anything, he was muted and all kind of communication was trapped in his throat.

"Blaine? What's wrong? What happened, honey?" Kurt asked and hurried around to sit down next to him. He let a soft hand find its way to Blaine's wrist but Blaine rapidly withdrew his hand to curl his arm around his aching stomach.

"Blaine, what -"

"I thought you didn't talk to Chandler anymore," he muttered sadly, his voice weak and trembling just as much as the blood in his veins.

"I don't. I haven't spoken to him for weeks. I mean, I -" Kurt said confused, but Blaine cut him off, not planning to hear anymore.

"Then why is he texting you. It wasn't because... the text just – it was just there, and I couldn't help seeing it. And... Kurt, I thought you loved me," Blaine blabbered out, his voice breaking and the tears unstoppable as they streamed down his cheeks.

He tried to get up, but Kurt held him down with hands on his knees. Kurt was pale himself and his head was swimming. He couldn't understand how Blaine could ever think that he would do anything like that.

He forced himself to grasp the situation and found the phone still in Blaine's hand. He flicked open the message and saw the words, piercing into his eyes and brain. All he wanted was for Chandler to leave him alone.

"Listen, Blaine – please hear me out, okay? I haven't talked to Chandler for ages. When we started being together I told him to leave me alone. He keeps texting me, and keeps writing me messages on Skype when I'm doing homework, but that's all that is – please believe me," Kurt rushed out, desperate and scared.

He could understand why Blaine was doubting him. Chandler's words weren't exactly making it easier for him to talk his own case, but all he was worried about was making Blaine understand that all he wanted was him and no one else.

"Blaine, see – I'm gonna do this," Kurt said and made a snap decision.

He went into his contacts and scrolled down to find Chandler's number where he pressed the button to call him up.

Blaine was starting to feel nauseous. He wanted to believe Kurt, and he couldn't see how Kurt would even have time to see someone else on the side since they were always together, and if they weren't Kurt was with Rachel.

"Hey – Chandler, listen... remember when I told you that I didn't think that we should talk?" Kurt said into the phone and Blaine could hear someone at the other end.

"Yeah, the thing is... I have a boyfriend. And I really love him, and I think you should just... delete my number. We're never gonna be together, because I have what I want, and I can never be with you the way you want. You're sweet, but not for me -" Kurt said, his lungs heavy and his heart galloping like a race horse.

"Mhm, you need to respect my boundaries here," he continued, his voice now firm.

Blaine could feel his tears still warm on his cheeks, but his insides were slowly starting to melt up. Because Kurt was doing this to be with him.

"Yeah – goodbye, Chandler. I hope life works out well for you," Kurt ended softly and hung up the phone.

He stared at his phone for a moment before he pressed the delete button on Chandler's number and slid the phone onto the coffee table in front of him and carefully turned to face Blaine next to him.

"I'm gonna delete him. From Skype too, from everything. I only wanna be with you -" he said nervously, not knowing what else he could do if this hadn't convinced Blaine.

"I love you. So much," Blaine cried and moved closer to Kurt who spread his arms for him.

He hated being scared. But he hated even more that a little voice in the back of his mind had kept whispering that maybe Kurt would be better of with Chandler, because as soon as he found out Blaine's secret he wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

"I love you too, Blaine. No one but you," Kurt cooed and kissed his neck.

Blaine dried his tears off his cheeks and they silently agreed to close down TV and lights so they could clean up in the morning and slowly drift to bed.

At first it was a little strange. Usually when they napped together after school or over weekends they just curled up in their jeans and shirts under a blanket but on top of the bedspread. Now they were in their pajamas of thin fabrics about to lie close under the covers of Kurt's bed.

It made it a little bit easier that the room was dark around them, close to black with the snow creating a covering layer on the window so the yellow light from the street light didn't stand a chance to break through the light curtains.

"Thank you. For doing that. I didn't... you didn't have to cut him completely out, I just got scared," Blaine mumbled silently and let a finger trail down the pillow between them.

"It's okay. He was annoying, like a stalker. At first it was flattering, now it's just bordering on creepy – but Blaine, if that's what it takes to make sure you aren't scared, that you believe that I only wanna be with you, then that's what I'll do," Kurt smiled and put his hand over Blaine's to stop his nervous movements.

The touch made Blaine's heart stutter and twist. He couldn't stop the grin that covered his face, and let himself float in the feeling of how warm and soft Kurt's bed and sheets were compared to his own.

"Wanna make out?" He asked teasingly, but was met by a chuckle from his boyfriend.

"I always wanna make out with you," he responded and pressed his mouth onto Blaine's.

They should be sleeping. Kurt had plans with Rachel that they should do vocal practice at her house and go over songs they had to choose between for their NYADA auditions. They were going to record videos of themselves singing and dancing to send out with their applications and they already had long lists of songs to use, so they needed to pluck out the best.

But the boys didn't sleep. They lay close with hands running around backs and arms, tongues dancing and lips massaging against each other. It was hot and safe under the warm covers, and the scent of Kurt was everywhere just like the feeling of him was it.

Blaine's pulse was rising and he was sure that if he turned on the lights his face would be red from the heat. He couldn't help letting the feeling of Kurt's hands on his body, and the feeling of his own hands sliding around Kurt's body take over his head. Even through his satin pajamas Blaine could make out the curves and dents of Kurt's muscles and he couldn't stop imagining how they would look like if he would ever be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of them uncovered.

It was new and at first he was a bit nervous, but after a little while Blaine simply had to squeeze his thighs together, from the heat that was pooling between his legs. Each stroke of Kurt's tongue, or a brush of his lips against the skin of his face had Blaine's head swim with a need to press his lower body closer to Kurt's.

Eventually their kisses slowed down and Blaine was grateful. He didn't have enough willpower over himself to suggest for them to sleep, but he knew that if they continued his need for Kurt's body would only grow stronger and that was a place he didn't want to go.

Kurt apologized, but said that he needed to sleep if he had to stand through an entire day with Rachel and Blaine knew that he would definitely need a moment to calm himself down. They shared a few innocent kisses and wrapped their arms around each other before whispering goodnight.

xXx

It was a complete accident. Honest to god, or Cary Grant, or whoever was in charge of the universe.

Blaine didn't know Kurt was home. He had only just come home from the gym himself and actually thought Kurt was still at Rachel's house since he had said that he would be there all day.

As Blaine figured he didn't have anything else to do he had decided to go to the gym. When he was at the gym he felt like he could completely lose himself and not worry about anything. As long as he changed from home it was all perfect.

He had forgot his sweater in Kurt's room when he got up in the morning, and since it was his favorite sweater he wanted to get it so he could wear it after having showered. It was fluffy and comfy and it was the best when he was strolling around the house.

When he entered the room he was in his own thoughts. He fumbled a little around with the stack of clothes on the stool by the closet but couldn't find it anywhere. Then he figured he'd check the chair by the desk - that's when he froze.

The door to Kurt's bathroom was slightly open - and Kurt was walking naked around in there. Kurt's pale silhouette disappeared for a moment and Blaine heard the water being turned on. He reckoned that he'd better hurry out while he was sure he wasn't going to get caught. He got to his feet and stopped - he could see Kurt in the mirror.

Kurt was standing under the stream of water, his hair clasping to his forehead where he brushed it away with the back of his hand. Blaine couldn't believe it and he knew that he should have left before he even noticed the open door, but he couldn't stop himself from walking closer to get a better look.

Now he had a slightly better view to everything. He watched as Kurt let his soaped up hand slide from his neck, over his shoulders and pecks, disappearing down his abdomens and down to his...

"Fuck," Blaine whispered to himself,

He couldn't believe what he was seeing, so not only was Kurt perfect with clothes on, but also without clothes. Sure, Blaine was a virgin; no one could ever want him, he was sure. He was a total freak. But that didn't mean he hadn't watched porn - he was a teenager after all. He had only watched amateur porn though, and not much of it.

The guys in those porns had seemed nearly terrifying. Blaine couldn't imagine to ever have anything that big inside of him. But now that he saw Kurt - those guys in the porns appeared close to ridiculous compared to Kurt.

Blaine was staring, but he couldn't tear his gaze away. All he saw was Kurt and his pink, flustered semi-hard cock that had to be at least 9 inches. He couldn't even imagine the size when he was hard.

Blaine's mouth went dry as he watched Kurt's hand lock around his shaft. He knew that he was only washing himself off, but it didn't make the sight any less arousing or the heat between Blaine's legs cool off. He squeezed his knees hard together and whimpered - he actually whimpered.

It was too much. He couldn't take it. Blaine hurried out of Kurt's room, only when he was in his own room did he fear that he had slammed the door a little too hard, but he couldn't think about that. All he could do was lie on his back on his bed and close his eyes to let the image he had just seen take over his inner eye. He was clenching his legs hard together, he could feel his nipples hard against the fabric of his shirt and he was needingKurt badly.

That night there was only one thing Blaine could think about; he had been so scared to have something so big as an average sized teenage boy penis entering him, but now he was aching for the feel of Kurt's huge cock. In a fantasy world where Blaine wouldn't have to hide himself he would surely have suggested for them to take the next step soon, at least to do more than kiss and cuddle – but as much as Kurt loved him he would never want to be inhim. Kurt was gay, out and proud, and Kurt liked dick just like Blaine did. Real life did in no way match up with Blaine's fantasy world.